34. Juliet

Once we'reclean and Silas has assured me for the millionth time that it's fine that I squirted all over his chest, we head back into the bedroom. It's dark now, and my heart sinks a little when I still can't hear any rain. Tomorrow we'll get ready for the final stretch to Roanoke. We probably only have two nights left here.

I should be relieved. I should want to be in a safe colony, with other people. I know there's more to life than fucking Silas and existing in this little cocoon. Soon the supplies here will run out. We can't stay here forever. But I feel like a new person. I feel like I am a person, not just someone who exists. But it's more than just the sex, as amazing as that is. I know it's because I love Silas, even though I still haven't told him. He's made me come so hard I nearly have a few times, but I can't bring myself to say those words out loud. I don't know why. It still hurts. I'm scared that he won't be able to stay with me in Roanoke, even though he's given me no indication that they wouldn't let him. I just can't shake this strange feeling…

I brush my hair out in front of the dressing table mirror, which is dulled from age. Silas stands behind me, watching me, his gaze dark and full of desire.

"Haven't had enough?" I ask, raising an eyebrow at his reflection.

"Of you? Never."

I snort out a laugh. "Were you always like this?"

"Like what?" His voice is low and dangerous.

"You know, horny all the time?"

"Yes." He puts a hand on my hip, and the sudden heat makes my insides curl up on themselves. Just one touch does this to me. "I've always liked sex, but sex with someone like you…" He steps closer, so his erection is pressed to my back.

"Someone like me?"

He puts his hand on my other hip, lowering his mouth to my throat. "When you meet someone that you can see is just aching to be unlocked." His lips brush over my skin. "The first time I saw you, I thought you looked so pure, so innocent and angelic. But underneath this exterior, you were just waiting for someone to find that side of you. And now that side of you is mine."

"All of me is yours." I close my eyes as his kiss against my neck becomes more urgent, his hands splaying across my stomach and pressing me against him. "And what about you? Did I unlock a side of you too?"

"You didn't unlock me, angel." His fangs rake along my shoulder, drawing tiny droplets of blood. "You tore open my rib cage with your bare hands and took my heart for yourself."

"Oh, did I?" I wince as his fangs run along the other shoulder, the slight sting of pain sending a new rush of heat between my thighs. "How rude of me."

His eyes meet mine in the mirror, and his mouth shifts into a smile. "Remember what you said to me that night? What you wanted to see?"

"See?"

"See yourself, stretched around my cock." He gestures to the mirror. "This gives me an idea."

A small voice in my head asks More? incredulously. But I beat that voice down. Because, yes, more.

I let Silas lift me up so the edges of my knees are resting on the dressing table. He brackets my waist with his hands, and pushes the tip of his cock to my entrance.

"Now, watch." His breath is hot against my ear, and my eyes skate down to where our bodies are joined.

It's somehow beautiful and filthy at the same time, watching that thick cock slide inside me. My pussy stretches around him, unable to accommodate all of him at this angle. Silas forces me higher onto my knees, and more of his dick slips into me. I cough out a gasp, forcing myself to keep my eyes open.

"Look at how beautiful you are when you take me." Silas's fingers part my pussy, exposing my throbbing clit. "Look at you, just aching to come. Rub that clit angel."

I do as he says, watching my fingers move over my clit. I've never seen myself like this before, never watched as I got myself off. Silas hisses and gasps behind me. He lifts me so my feet are resting on the edge of the dressing table, his cock still inside me. He bounces me on him gently, and I careen quickly towards that edge, my toes curling and my back arching.

"Keep watching," he commands against my ear. "Make yourself come, and watch as that needy pussy throbs on my cock."

My eyes move back down to where his thick length is buried within me, and I whimper, my stomach tensing as my orgasm builds.

"Oh fuck." He sucks in a breath. "I want to come inside you, angel."

I nod against his shoulder. "Yes, yes, please."

"You want my cum to fill you up?"

"Yes, oh god." My fingers move faster, chasing the high.

"So fucking tight, like you'll never let me go."

"I-I won't. Never." I'm almost there, the sounds breaking from my throat high-pitched and raw with need. "I want you inside me, always. Oh fuck, fuck."

"I'm going to fill you up with my babies."

I let out a high-pitched moan at his words, watching as the contractions of my body make his dick twitch, my arousal coating his shaft. He digs his fingers into my hips as he fucks me hard, straight through my orgasm and headlong into another. I brace my hands against the mirror, watching his face, his eyes locked on my reflection as he slams into me over and over. He grits his teeth, inhaling sharply as he tenses against me, then with a heavy breath he spills inside me.

We just gaze at each other's reflections, panting, for a long time, as our bodies cool and calm. The desire wears off, and we both seem to realize that what we just did was pretty stupid. But I can't even find it within myself to feel bad, or irresponsible.

"I'm sorry," he says, pulling out of me gently. "That wasn't-"

"I love you." The words bubble out of me, just like they did with Matt that one time I thought I was going to die. But I didn't mean them then. I had no idea what love would feel like. That it would bury itself within my soul and tear me in half, a jagged, bleeding edge laced with so much beauty and sweetness it makes me want to cry.

Silas's eyes widen a little. "Jules-"

"I love you." I say it again, knowing I'm covered in cum and sweat, and I'm still crouched on a dressing table naked. I look a mess and I'm still trembling, and this isn"t how I imagined the moment. But it doesn't matter. Nothing else matters but the look on his face right now, a beautiful combination of fear and elation. "I want you to promise me something."

Silas gathers me in his arms, turning me around and helping me down off the table. "Anything, angel. You name it."

"Promise you'll never leave me."

His mouth is hot when it claims mine, his tongue stroking in my mouth. "Never. I'm never leaving you, ever again. I'll die first."

"I can't live without you." I curl myself up against him. "I can't. Ever."

"Me neither. And you won't have to."

I don't tell him about my fears, about the sneaking dread that won't leave me alone. The awful feeling that what awaits us in Roanoke isn"t a safe haven, but just another apparatus that'll tear us apart. I don't tell him that. I simply let him take me back to bed, and fuck me until the sun starts to peer over the horizon.

* * *

The next day,the sun shines in a clear blue sky, and Silas charges the generators. We're quiet most of the day, trying to stay close to one another. We take a walk through the forest, and he keeps his arm around my shoulders as he tells me all about London, about his adventures around the world with Margot.

He heats enough water for us to have a bath together, and he listens to me intently as I lie in his arms, talking about art and discussing my favorite books.

We spend our last night in our sweet little farmhouse in bed, fucking with such fervor and ferocity it's as though the world is going to end.

The voice that tells me our time together is running out gets louder and louder.

My eyes open to the smell of food cooking, and more cruel sunshine washing through the window. The curtain waves gently in the soft breeze. It would be such an idyllic scene if we didn't have to leave.

I finally relent, climbing out of the bed and pulling on my clothes. I pad down the stairs to find a shirtless Silas standing over the stove, one foot tucked behind the other as he leans on the counter. I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist, laying my cheek against his warm back. His fingers brush along my arms.

"Good morning, angel."

"You made me breakfast?"

"You need to eat before we go." His voice falls flat on the last word. Maybe he's having the same fears I am. Or maybe he knows something he isn't telling me.

We could stay here. We could keep living our lives out here and never going anywhere else. I open my mouth to say the words, to speak that thought out loud, but quickly snap it shut again. Just because this place has been untouched doesn't mean it will never be discovered. Silas is strong, and he'd protect me. But even he can be overpowered. And sooner or later he'd have to leave me alone, and then…

Silas is staring at me, his hand paused on the spoon he's using to stir the contents of the pan. His eyes search my face for a second, and then he smiles warmly.

"Come on, eat, angel. I'll go get the truck."

"No." I take a few hurried steps towards him. "Please stay with me. I don't want to eat alone."

He nods, looking back down at the stove. "Ok, come on then, let's sit." He sits opposite me at the table, smiling wistfully as I eat. "You've gained weight since we've been here. Your cheeks, they're all round and rosy now."

I smirk at him. "Shoulda seen me when I was a swimmer. My back was a wall of muscle."

One of his eyebrows lifts, and he grins. "I'll bet you looked incredible."

I shrug, pushing my food around the pan. "The freckles usually put folks off."

"Well, those folks were idiots. They were the first thing I noticed about you."

Now it's my turn to raise an eyebrow. "Are you serious?"

He nods, then tilts his head thoughtfully. "Well, that and how good you smell getting yourself off."

I grunt out a laugh. "Well, at least you're honest."

"With you, always."

"Do you really think this colony in Roanoke is genuine?"

The question hangs thickly in the air between us, and Silas lets out a sigh, rubbing his hands along his thighs.

"Juliet, listen, I swore to keep you safe, and that means what it means, alright? Now, the vamps in Savannah said there were vamps living in this colony as well, and I've got no reason to doubt that." He gives me a weary smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "You"re going to have to trust me, and we're just going to have to hope."

Before I can respond, his eyes flood with violent crimson, and he gets to his feet.

"Juliet, we have to go."

I scramble off the bench, the muscles in my legs tight as bowstrings. "What is it?"

"Now." Silas grabs my wrist and pulls me along behind him, scooping up the bags by the front door before we push out onto the porch. He pauses, tilting his head, as though listening intently, before bursting into motion again, dragging me across the yard towards the truck.

"Get in." He commands as he pulls open the barn doors, shoving the bags at me. "And keep your head down!"

I scurry to the truck, pulling the door open just as I hear it - the sound of engines approaching. I hug the bags to my chest as I curl up in the seat, keeping my head low. I jerk my arms tighter around the parcels in my arms as Silas tears open the driver's side door, climbing in and gunning the engine. He throws the truck into reverse, backing out at an almost alarming speed, turning the wheel before shifting to drive. The truck shoots forward on the bumpy road, and I stay huddled down, holding my breath as I wait for us to hit another truck or for the pinging of bullets to start hitting us.

"It's alright, Jules," Silas says, his voice tight as his eyes stay fixed on the road. "It's OK. I'll get you out of here."

"Someone found us."

His eyes flash up to the rear view mirror before moving back to the path in front of the truck. "I don't know, but someone's coming and we're not sticking around to find out who."

The truck bumps violently down the uneven drive, Silas moving at a speed that makes my eyes water and my stomach churn. I clutch the bags tighter again in an attempt to stop my hands shaking. I squeeze my eyes shut, sending out a silent prayer to get us out of here, to let us get to safety. I don't believe in god anymore, in a world like this who would? But maybe, just maybe, someone's listening.

"Shit." Silas says the word just as staccato thuds start to echo through the truck. Someone's firing at us. Silas reaches out, pushing me down further into my seat. "Stay down."

He weaves on the road, the strikes against the truck's exterior becoming more random. An engine roars up behind us, getting closer and closer. The truck lurches towards the edge of the road as whoever is behind us nudges the tailgate.

They're going to kill us. A bullet shatters the rear window and slams into the seat.

I have to do something, I can't just stay huddled down here. I reach under the dash, and Silas's eyes flash down to me.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

I yank out the gun he has stashed down there, and wind down my window. "Getting these assholes off our tail."

"Juliet, get down!" He reaches across to grab me, but I squirm out of his reach.

"Just keep driving!" I wind down the window, leaning out and raising the gun at the drab green jeep that's right on our tail. I can make out two occupants, but not much more than that. I aim straight at the windshield and squeeze the trigger.

The jeep sways as it tries to avoid the bullet, but it strikes and sends the glass shattering. The jeep shimmies and veers off the road, straight into a tree where it comes to a sharp stop in a shower of metal and steam.

I slide back into the seat, the gun clutched tight in my hands.

"They crashed." A lump catches in my throat. "Just drive."

Silas reaches over and puts an enormous hand over mine. "You did great."

"Thanks. Just drive."

Silas keeps his hand there until he turns us out onto the highway, and for the next hour, as we get as far away as possible from whoever the hell was pursuing us. He's not taking any chances.

By the time he pulls over, and takes the gun from my sweaty hands, the lump in my throat is so thick I can't even speak.

Silas pulls me into his arms, stroking my hair and telling me how amazing and brave I am.

"Did you see who they were?"

I shake my head, wrapping my fingers around the collar of his shirt.

"It doesn't matter, angel. You did so good. I'm so proud of you." He runs a hand down my back, and sighs. "I'm so sorry, angel."

"Don't be sorry." I choke out the words, hot tears stinging my eyes. "It's OK. We're both OK."

"No, I mean…" He tilts my head, his eyes searching my face. "We need to get to Roanoke. So you're safe."

"So we're safe."

He nods. "Of course, angel. So we're safe."

I tell myself he means it. I tell myself that in a few short hours we'll be safe in Roanoke, and it'll all be over.

I tell myself, over and over, and I still don't believe it.