30. Silas

I knowI'm being watched. Logically, I know I should keep my distance from Juliet, to assuage any sort of suspicion. I know I'm being irresponsible, and I'm probably placing us both in danger. But none of that stops the need to see her from thumping in my chest. The need to be with my girl is too strong. I can't live without her. And I'm prepared for that need to be the addiction that finally kills me.

I tend to my duties, running checks on the perimeter, checking the positions of the security cameras. All the while thinking of nothing but Juliet, wondering where she is and what she's doing. It's been raining heavily all morning, so I know she's not in the garden. As I flick through each camera, I look for her, coming up empty until I reach the gym.

There she is, running on the treadmill. Her hair is wound up on top of her head in a messy bun, and she's wearing the tightest pair of white shorts I've ever seen, along with a crop top. Holy shit. I can practically smell her through the screen. She rubs a hand over the back of her neck, brushing away sweat, and I have to suppress a groan.

"Georgia Peach getting herself all sweaty, huh?"

I'm so entranced I didn't even hear Crawley enter the office. I flick away the image of the gym and Juliet running quickly, clearing my throat.

"Yeah I guess so. She was told to work out by the doctor."

"She was, huh?" Crawley drops down into the chair beside me. "You seem pretty interested in her."

I shrug, keeping my eyes trained on the monitor. "She needed help. I gave it. End of."

"Hmm." Crawley leans back in his chair, gazing at the ceiling. "Anderson said you had the brilliant idea of running PR after what Braun did. Good excuse to spend time with her I guess."

"Well, it worked, didn't it? No more riots. Happy bloodbags. Job done."

Crawley strokes his chin thoughtfully. "Yeah, well done you." He inhales through his nose. "You know, there was a guy at the last compound I was stationed at, up near Roanoke. This young vamp, he fell in love with one of the bloodbags."

"Did he now?" I'm going to keep my voice perfectly even. "That's a bit stupid, innit?" This has nothing to do with me. Crawley's just talking. If I maintain the nonchalant tone, he won't suspect a thing.

"Yeah, pretty stupid." Crawley swivels back and forth lazily in the chair, eyes still focused upwards. "Sorta ended up bad for everybody."

"Oh yes? What happened?"

Crawley puffs out a breath. "They poisoned him, starved him, then put her in the room with him. After two weeks of no food, nothing was going to save her from him."

My blood runs cold. "He killed her then?"

"Sure did." Crawley gets to his feet and claps me on the shoulder. "I can still hear him screaming when he realized what he'd done. Shit like that, it never ends well."

"Well, the rules are there for a reason I suppose." I don't meet his eyes, aware of his gaze fixed on the side of my face. "Break ‘em, deal with the consequences."

"That's for sure."

When he doesn't move, I look up at him, praying he can't see the betrayal that has to be written all over my face.

"Did you need something, Crawley?"

"No, not a thing." He turns for the door. "Take care, King."

His parting words are heavy, and I begin to wonder just how many people know. I wonder if Anderson knows. I click the screen twice, bringing up the feed to the gym. Another click, and the screen goes black. I shake my head at myself, pushing away from the desk and heading out into the rain. If Anderson knew, I wouldn't be here anymore. I'd be either dead or stationed elsewhere, far away from Juliet.

The story Crawley just told me makes me shiver. The thought of hurting Juliet makes me sick. The very notion that they'd do that to her, to me, as punishment for merely wanting to be together - it's disgusting. I glare at the barbed wire as I pass it, once again cursing this fucking world we find ourselves in.

I head for the gym, barely acknowledging the humans that pass me as I head up the steps. Juliet is climbing down off the treadmill just as I walk in. I want to go to her side and take her in my arms, and the way her face lights up as she turns and sees me tells me she wants the same thing.

But we're not alone. Two men are still by the weights, finishing their sets. Juliet dips her head, then makes a bee-line for the ladies bathroom. Making sure the men are more concerned with their reps than with me, I follow her, and lock the door behind me.

Juliet is leaning against the counter, her face breaking into a smile as I stalk towards her.

"Hey there," she says breathily, moaning softly as I crush her mouth with mine.

"You OK?" I pull back from her, eyes searching her face.

She nods. "Yeah, I am. As long as you are, I am too."

I cradle her head, sinking my fingers into her hair. "I couldn't stop thinking about you all night."

"Me too." She leans her forehead against mine. "I had a dream you were in my bed, and you were rubbing my back. It was so nice." She kisses me again, her teeth catching my lip. "I just want your hands on me."

She fumbles with my buttons, pushing the shirt from my shoulders before dragging me against her. She plants tiny kisses along my collarbone, flooding my body with sweetness. When she gazes up at me with her big eyes, I know this is dangerous. I know we're behind a locked door, and it doesn't make me feel even a little better.

But something's wrong. I pull back, frowning at her, trying to place that smell.

"Silas?" She raises her eyebrow, shifting against the counter. The tiniest fluttering of her eyelids tells me that she's in pain.

I clasp her jaw in my hands. "Angel, what's wrong? Are you sore?"

"Not from you, really." Her lower lip wobbles, and her eyes shine with tears. "I'm fine, really. I just want you."

She kisses me again, but even as she does, she begins to cry. That smell, it's… sterile. Medicinal. Something acrid covering her scent.

"Angel, please, talk to me. What's happened?"

She takes a deep breath, her eyes clenching closed and a cascade of tears spilling over her lashes. "They did an examination."

"An examination?"

She tips her head back to look at me, and nods. "A gynecological exam. They said they need to see if… if I was OK."

Panic pools in the pit of my stomach. "They examined you internally?"

"Yeah. It was… It was so uncomfortable. I just wanted you, the whole time. I just wanted you to be there to hold my hand. I didn't understand why they were doing it, and they wouldn't tell me…" She trails off, wrapping her arms around my waist and crying softly.

The whirring feeling in my stomach won't stop. Why the fuck would they be examining her?

Her fingers claw at the back of my neck suddenly, and she draws me down to her, kissing me hungrily as she shoves a hand into my trousers.

"Juliet," I grit out against her mouth. "What are you doing?"

"I missed you, so much." She presses her face to the side of my neck as she tries to pump me with her hand. "I just, I need-"

"Juliet, stop." I pull her hand away from me gently, and she slumps against me, crying. "I'm right here, angel. Right here." I put her hand against my chest.

"I need to feel you," she murmurs, pressing a hand to her eye. "I just, I don't know what to do. I don't know… I don't know what's happening."

"You're upset, and you want to push it away." I encircle her with my arms, kissing her temple. "It's OK to be scared. It's over now. I'm here."

Three loud thumps against the door make us both jump, and I crush her against me.

"Out, right now." Sam's voice is sharp and clear. "Silas, I know you're in there."

Fuck. Juliet's wide eyes gaze up at me, more and more tears pouring over her lashes. She shakes her head, clasping my face in her hands.

"Silas-"

"It's OK." I stroke her hair, and place a kiss on her forehead.

"Silas!" Sam's voice is edged with irritation.

"Just give us a minute!" I bellow over my shoulder. She's so eager to see me suffer she can't even give me a second to get dressed.

Juliet is shaking so hard she can barely stay upright, leaning heavily on the counter as she watches me pull my shirt on and button it up. Loud sobs start to break from her throat, and by the time I unlock the bathroom door, she's near hysterical. Sam eyes us both as we step into the corridor, one hand on her hip.

"Had fun?" She cocks an eyebrow as she regards me with blatant disgust. "You really don't learn, do you?"

"Guess not." I put an arm around Juliet's shoulders as she covers her face with her hands. "I'm a bit dense that way."

"Evidently." Sam's gaze moves to Juliet. "She should go. We need to have a little talk."

I swallow hard as I press a kiss to the side of Juliet's head. "I told you, it was worth it, remember?"

"Go. Now." Sam's voice has dropped low.

"You're going to hurt him!" Juliet drops her hands from her face, her voice shrill as she continues to cry. "If you're going to hurt him, just kill us both!"

Sam rolls her eyes. "Oh, don't be so fucking dramatic."

"Fuck you!" Juliet hisses back, her arms locking around my waist. "You feeders are all the same."

Sam's eyes flame and she advances on us, and I step in front of Juliet.

"Hey now, you back the fuck off from her." I bare my fangs. "I swear to god-"

"Get her the fuck out of here right now, Silas." Sam's eyes flicker over my shoulder. "If she knows what's good for her, she'll go."

I turn to Juliet, and meet her eyes, cradling her jaw with my hands. "Go, alright? It'll be fine."

Her face is pulled into a defiant frown, and she shakes her head. "No, I'm not-"

I silence her with a kiss, ignoring the scoff that comes from Sam. There's no point hiding anything now. We've been discovered. It's all over. Sam's going to turn me in, and that will be the end of me.

"I'm sorry, angel." I murmur against Juliet's mouth. "But I need you to go now."

"I can't leave you." Her voice is strained, the words struggling to leave her throat.

"I need you to. Please."

"Will you two cut the theatrics?" Sam's arms are crossed over her chest, her booted foot tapping against the floor. "Get her out of here, now."

"Go. Now." My voice drops low, and Juliet squeezes my hands one last time before pushing past Sam and running out of the gym.

Sam's eyes stay fixed on me until the gym door slams home with a heavy thud. She rolls her eyes, leaning against the wall casually.

"Jesus, that was painful." She shakes her head as she gazes back at me."You two really got it bad for each other, don't you? Gonna change your name to Romeo?"

"What does it matter?" I shove my hands in my pockets. "You're going to turn me in."

"Am I?" Her coquettish tone sets my teeth on edge. "Now why would I want to do that?"

I scoff incredulously. "You are joking, aren't you? You've been waiting for this moment."

Sam pushes off the wall, tutting as she takes a few steps towards me. "Now, Silas, you think so little of me?" She looks me up and down, smirking. "I'm hurt."

"I don't fucking care."

She looks up at me, pursing her lips, and I can see in her eyes she's considering her next move. "You said I was your friend once."

"Yeah. Guess I was wrong."

"Oh no, honey. I'm the only friend you have here." She reaches out to touch my chest, eyes snapping up to mine when I jerk away from her hand. "I'm not going to turn you in."

"Why not?"

"Would you prefer it if I did?" When she's only answered with silence, she shrugs. "I'm not going to turn you in, because there's no point."

"So what do you want in return?" I know she wouldn't do this unless there was something in it for her. Why the fuck would she cover for me like this?

"I don't want a thing, Silas. I came here, as your friend. When I saw you'd cut the feed to the gym, I knew you'd made yet another mistake. So I came over here to stop you."

"Another mistake, ey?"

"Yeah, like the one you made the night of the storm, and the supply run to Savannah."

"You were baiting me."

Sam laughs lightly. "I was always very good at fishing, Silas.Fish are stupid. And so are men when they got a pretty girl in front of them."

"It's not like that," I snarl, feeling my rage building. "This isn't just some cheap lay, not like what you and me had."

"Ouch." Sam's nose wrinkles. "That wasn't called for."

"Fuck you."

"Maybe so, but either way, as your friend, I did come here to stop you from making a mistake."

"Juliet is not a mistake."

"She may not be, but coming inside her would be." Sam's face is infuriatingly neutral, her chin tipped up as a self-satisfied smile crosses her lips.

I recoil at her words. "What are - What do you mean, coming inside her would be?"

"I thought it would be a momentary thing, between the two of you." Sam rolls her shoulders, her gaze lazily moving back to the ceiling. "But that night you absconded with her to your cabin, when I could smell her practically dripping from your walls, I could see it wasn't going to end. You were just going to keep sleeping with her, no matter what."

Panic snakes its way up my back. "Yeah, she's mine, that's why."

"Mmmm, yours huh?"

"Yes."

"Well, not for much longer." Sam's icy gaze drops back to my face, and she tilts her head. "Did she tell you she got an exam this morning?"

"Yes."

"Did she tell you what kind of exam?"

"Yes." I growl, my hands balling into trembling fists. She's fucking enjoying this.

"And what do you think that was for?"

I lunge at Sam, slamming her against the wall. She almost moans as her back connects with the stone, her eyes bright red as she runs her tongue over her fangs.

"Pent up, honey? Did I interrupt before you got to finish?" She laughs in my face.

"Tell me what the fuck is going on or-"

"I got her transfer papers this morning." Her expression turns into one of defiant triumph, and my arm drops from her throat.

I blink stupidly, letting the words sink in. "Transfer? To where?"

"Charleston." The word rolls off Sam"s tongue slowly, as though she's savoring how it tastes. "She's prime age."

My body reacts instantly to the grief and revulsion that wells up inside me. Charleston. The breeding farm. They're going to lock her in a room with a man jacked up on drugs, who'll rape her until she's pregnant. They'll force her to carry a baby that will be torn from her arms once she's done feeding it. And then they'll do it again. And again. And again…

Sam watches with detached curiosity as I stumble away from her, my back quickly connecting with the opposite wall in the tiny corridor.

"No." It's all I can say. It's the only word that's running on a loop in my head. "No. No. No."

"Yes, Silas." Sam takes a step towards me, clasping her hands in front of her. "Believe me, this will be for the best. Once she's gone, you can forget all about her."

"No." I shake my head, raising my hands to ward her off as she takes another step towards me. "No."

"Silas, she's not for you." She lifts her hands as though to touch me. "You'll be so much better off without her."

"Who ordered it?"

"That doesn't matter now." Sam's hands land on my shoulders. "What matters is that you need to get over this."

"It was you, wasn't it?" A white hot ember of rage runs up my spine, settling in the base of my skull as my vision goes red. "You ordered them to take her away, didn't you?" My hands aren't my own anymore. I curl both hands around Sam's throat and slam her into the wall. "You ordered them to take her away from me, didn't you?"

Sam's cool demeanor shatters ever so slightly, her eyes widening as she claws into my arms. "Silas, let me go."

"I want to hear you say it." I growl in her face. "I want to hear you say that you ordered them to take her away to be raped, over and over again. That you ordered them to tear her away from me."

"Silas, stop!" She pushes back against me with all her might, shoving me into the wall behind me.

But it's not enough, not nearly enough. The image of Juliet being forced away, the very idea of losing the woman I love more than anything I've loved in my life, gives me strength that Sam isn't prepared for. With every ounce of loss and grief I've been forced to endure driving through my veins, I pound Sam back across the corridor and into the drywall.

Her exclamation is caught by my hands landing around her throat again, crushing her neck in my hands. She squeaks, like a distraught animal, her eyes bugging out. She lands punches in my middle, too weak to deter me. Blood trickles from her nose as I squeeze harder and harder.

"No one takes her from me. No one." My vision flashes bright red, and with a twist of my hands and a loud crack, I wrench Sam's head from her body.

My shoulders are heaving, my fangs digging into my lower lip as her shocked, wide-eyed face stares back at me. Her body slumps down the wall, spilling blood on the ground, her fingers still twitching as her nerves register her body's final death.

Fuck, what have I done? My mind starts to race, trying to think what to do next. I take a deep breath, trying to calm down. I need to think logically.

It's late in the day, the gym will be empty until tomorrow morning. I have that much time, and I need to use it now. I have to get us out of here.

I deposit Sam's body and her head in a cubicle in the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. The corridor's covered in blood, but it's not visible from the door. Unless an errant vamp gets nosy and sticks their head in here, no one will smell what's happened.

I look down at myself. I'm covered in blood. I hurry into the other bathroom, turning on the shower and stripping off my clothes. I bundle them up and throw them in with Sam's body once I'm clean.

I cross the gym, to the lockers, tearing them open until I find one containing a spare set of clothes. I leave the gym, closing the door securely behind me and casting a glance through the glass just to make sure the blood truly isn't visible from here. The compound is quiet, as preparations for dinner begin. The sun is low in the sky. I only have a few hours of daylight left.

I head straight to my cabin, pulling out a duffel bag from under my bed. I throw in a change of clothes and a bottle of blood before pulling on my sneakers. I cross the room to my desk, pulling out the gun from the drawer, then hesitating as I see the notepad I sketched Juliet in. I toss it in, before swiping the polaroid of Harriet and I along with the worn out cassette tape into the bag as well.

After leaving my cabin, I go straight to Sam's office. I check that no one has seen me before pulling the door closed behind me. Inside, I go straight to her computer. I click on "Perimeter" and disable all the sensors. The whole grid goes down without even alerting anyone.

I kill all the security cameras, and set the connection to the obs tower to go down in ten minutes. It's not much time, but I need to find Juliet now. Then I select the fence charges, and set them to go off in ten minutes as well. I open the drawer to Sam"s desk and pull out the handgun she has stashed in there. I pull out a battery bank from the storage cupboard, and pluck the keys to one of the trucks from the wall.

Throwing the duffel bag over my shoulder, I head out of Sam's office. I look left and right, before sprinting across the grass to Juliet's dorm. The vamp at the door looks up at me and nods. "Hey man, they're all showering."

"Oh thanks."

I try not to walk too quickly towards the shower block, and as I approach, Juliet is coming towards me, her face red and puffy, her hair wet. Her eyes are fixed on the floor, she doesn't notice me, her shoulders trembling as she cries quietly.

When she's right in front of me, I reach out and brush her arm. She flinches, her hands flying to her mouth as her bloodshot eyes land on my face.

"What are you-"

"Is there anything in your locker that's important?" I ask, my fingers curling around her arm to draw her close.

She frowns, shaking her head. "What? Important?"

"Anything you wouldn't want to be without. Go and get it now, along with a change of clothes. Grab it, and come straight back here."

"Silas, what is this?"

"Trust me."

My words have the intended effect. Her mouth sets in a line, and she nods quickly, heading into the dorm. I try not to show how anxious I am, how fucking on edge I am, every second that she's out of my sight trickling by like an hour. We have seven minutes at most.

Crawley ambles past me, looking me up and down, frowning when he sees the battery bank in my hand. I hide the truck keys in my pocket and give him a smile.

"Alright mate?"

"Yeah, you?" He leans against a post, one hand in his pocket.

"Yeah all good, just had to get some things from a truck."

"Oh, OK." He nods. "And now you're just standing here with it all?"

I laugh, shrugging. "Sam told me to wait here, no idea why."

"Oh, right." Crawley nods. "She was looking for you."

"Well, she found me." I hold his gaze, even though I'm so fueled by anxiety I'm half-tempted to tear his head off too.

But Crawley pushes off the post and heads off with a wave of his hand. "Take care!"

"Yeah, you too!" I exhale heavily, relief flooding me as Juliet comes out of the dorm, a bundle of clothes rolled up in her arms. I head in her direction, and as I reach her side she turns tail, her eyes fixed downwards, and follows me wordlessly.

We round the dorm, across the open yard beside the obs tower, but I can hear raucous laughter drifting down, so I know they're distracted. We reach the truck, and Juliet climbs into the back seat as soon the door is open. She huddles down under the blanket, shivering lightly. She's scared. She has no idea what's happening. But her eyes flash to mine for a moment, and she gives me a weak smile.

She trusts me.

I slam the door, and quickly go to the garage, hauling out one generator and a solar pack, before thinking better of it and grabbing a second one. If this plan is going to work, I need to be able to drive a long distance. Two generators are better.

Once the generators are loaded onto the back, I know I'm down to maybe two minutes. I climb into the truck, and gun the engine.

"No matter what happens, stay down," I say to Juliet as I turn the truck around and head for the gate. She doesn't answer, just stays silent in the back.

The gate guards all approach with raised hands as I drive up to them. I wind the window down, one hand in the duffel bag beside me.

"What's going on?" A guard asks me. "We don't have any runs scheduled."

I shrug, smiling amicably. "Ferris told me to head out and check a sensor."

"This late?" The guard looks over his shoulder, at the other vamps who all shrug and shake their heads. "She didn't tell us anything."

"Well, she just came to tell me they're down, so I better head out fast before I lose the light."

The guard rubs the back of his neck, considering my words for a moment. "I mean, I really can't let you out without clearance."

"If you don't let me out, Ferris is going to have your head," I say with a laugh.

"Just let me call her." He raises a hand and takes a step back from the truck.

"No need, mate!"

He stops at my words, his eyes widening for just a split second as I raise the gun into the window and fire straight into the middle of his face. His body is thrown backwards at the exact moment the fence charges all go off, the sound deafening. The gate clicks open as the perimeter power goes out, the vamps not noticing as they all scatter and run.

I put my foot down, the engine of the truck roaring as I barrel straight into the gate. The metal protests, but gives way, falling haphazardly to one side. The next gate is already opening, and there's a loud metallic scrape as the truck catches just the edge as I speed out into the open.

Juliet whimpers loudly as bullets hit the back of the truck.

"They'll stop in a minute, Jules, it's alright." The vamps won't waste the ammunition on a runaway truck. Sure enough, after about 30 seconds, the pinging stops.

"It's OK, angel," I say, reaching into the back seat. My hand is met with cool, steely fingers, wrapping around mine. "We're out. Just stay down for now, OK? Just until we're clear."

She does as I say, sniffling and crying softly. I try to come up with a plan, try to think what's next. The light is fading, and we won't make it all the way to where we need to go tonight.

Focus. Focus. Get away from the compound. Find shelter and keep her safe.

That's all I can do for now.