31. Juliet

By the timeSilas reaches for me, beckoning me out of the back seat with a soft, "Come on, angel," I've stopped crying, and mostly stopped shaking. I climb into the front seat, and Silas pulls me against him, one arm slung around my shoulders.

"Are you OK?" He keeps his eyes on the road, but his voice is so strained with worry.

"What happened back there?"

"Not now, angel." He brushes a kiss against my temple. "I'll tell you later, but not now."

"I thought she'd hurt you." I slump against him, relieved and scared in equal measure. "I was so sure she was going to drag you off somewhere, and they'd know and-"

"She won't be hurting anyone. Not anymore."

My head snaps up to look at his profile, his jaw ticking violently. "Did you kill her?"

He grinds his teeth for a second before giving me a terse nod. "Yes."

"What did she say to you? Was she going to turn you in?"

"Angel, I said not now." He squeezes my shoulders. "Not now. We need to drive and find some shelter, and then we can talk."

Then we can talk. My curiosity almost has me wanting to shake him, because what the hell happened back there? I look out at the road as it meets us, the light becoming deep golden as the sun begins to sink low over the horizon.

"Will they look for us?" I ask after a while, gently brushing my hand over his chest.

"I doubt it."

"You don't sound very sure of that."

He kisses my forehead, his fingers brushing lightly up and down the side of my neck, and any other questions I had melt away into irrelevance.

"Don't worry, Jules. I've got you, alright? Now, let me do the worrying."

I'm so overwhelmed with this feeling of freedom, this knowledge that he just busted me out, that he blew up half the compound if what I heard while hiding under that blanket was any indication. I snuggle up to him, breathing deeply as the evening breeze washes in through the window.

"I feel like I should be hysterical." I laugh softly. "I feel like I should be a mess after what just happened."

"It hasn't sunk in yet, that's all."

"Where are we going to go?"

Silas checks the rear view mirror, shifting in his seat. "We'll find somewhere, off the main roads, and bunker down there for the night. Then in the morning we'll keep driving."

"Where?"

"Roanoke. The vamps in Savannah mentioned a human colony up there. Living free of vampire rule, apparently."

I sit up, instantly alarmed. "A human colony? You want to take me-"

He hits the brakes, cutting off my words, and sweeps me into his arms. "Us, angel. I'm taking us to Roanoke." He kisses me urgently, his lips soft and warm. "I'm going to get us safe, and then we can be together, alright?" His eyes bore into mine, and I can't help but sigh.

"Alright."

His mouth shifts into a smile. "You said you trust me, didn't you?"

I nod emphatically. "I trust you, I do."

"Good." He kisses the tip of my nose, before turning back to the steering wheel. "Now, let's get off these roads so you can rest."

I have a million more questions, but I keep those for later. I can't help the sliver of dread that winds its way around my stomach at the mention of a human colony. Humans with no vamps - what does that mean for us? I'm not leaving Silas, not after what just happened, not after what he just did for us to be together.

A strange thought begins to spin around in my brain. I think back on the conversation we had about him being turned. He'd said it wasn't painful. It was like going to sleep and waking up a new person. That doesn't sound bad at all. I begin to wonder if he'd do that to me, if he'd be my maker so we could be together forever. The thought makes me uneasy, because I don't want to be a vamp. I want to be me. I want to be alive.

But I want to be with Silas too.

I startle awake to Silas's smiling face. I blink at him in the overhead light of the truck, realizing it's mostly dark outside. He's backlit and beautiful, reaching out to gently brush my cheek with his fingers.

"You fell asleep." He kisses my forehead and shifts me towards the door. "Come on, I found somewhere for the night."

I rub my bleary eyes, trying to focus on our surroundings in the semi-darkness. We're parked out front of a white farmhouse. Thick vines have taken over one half of the crumbling facade, pulling windows from their frames. The porch is mostly sagging, the once-yellow door long since faded, the inset window smashed. It would have been a real sweet house back when folks lived here.

Silas flicks on a flashlight for my benefit, lighting the way across the overgrown yard. The porch creaks loudly under our weight, and Silas pushes the crooked door aside for me.

"I did a sweep," Silas says with a smile. "It's all clear inside. Just you and me."

"I like the sound of that." I follow him in, gazing up at the ceilings, at the dusty pictures hanging on the walls. Blue and white wallpaper peels from the walls, dotted with mildew. I can make out a wedding picture under a layer of dust, and a pair of boots stand by the stairs. A sign sits over what I guess was once the dining room, thick cobwebs hanging from it. Eat Pray Love.

It all makes me shiver. People lived here. People who had lives, people who bought cheesy signs for their home and loved them, people who were married and loved each other. And now Silas and I stand in the wreckage of all those lost lives, in the stark glow of a flashlight, seeking shelter in what was once more than likely a happy home.

Silas gives my hand a squeeze, and leads me past the stairs into the lounge room. An old dusty couch stands to one side, an armchair on its back behind a smashed coffee table. I snap my gaze down to the floor when the flashlight washes over the bloody hand marks streaked across the wall, long since imprinted into a dark rusty banner.

"I wonder who lived here," I murmur, sitting on the floor in front of the couch while Silas makes quick work of the wrecked furniture, moving it aside to reveal a fireplace. He doesn't respond, just sets about building a fire with logs he must have retrieved from outside while I was sleeping. "Is that a good idea?"

He looks over his shoulder at me, and I gesture to the fireplace.

"Smoke. The National Guard, or the Afflicted, what if they notice the smoke?"

Silas shrugs and goes back to his work. "I doubt they'll have drones out at night, it's almost pointless." He strikes a match, lighting cotton wool that looks like it's soaked in accelerant, and drops it into the kindling where it lights up with a loud snapping. "And the Afflicted are too brainless to notice something like smoke at night. Too busy seeking out blood."

My shoulders sag as what we've done begins to weigh down on me.

"What happened back there?" I ask as Silas moves across the floor to sit beside me.

He opens his backpack and pulls out a white bottle, shaking it before handing it to me. "Come on, you need to drink this."

"I don't want to drink that, I want to know what happened back there." I stare determinedly at the side of his face, the growing fire illuminating his rusty eyes. "Something happened, please tell me what."

"I told you, I killed Sam. We had to go." He turns to look at me, and holds out the white bottle again. "Please, just drink something, and then we'll talk."

His tone isn't making me feel any better. Something bad happened, I know that much. Sam said something that drove him into a rage. But I take the bottle with a sigh, twisting off the cap and taking a swig. It's a protein shake, thick and chalky, and it coats my throat unpleasantly. But it's filling at least, and Silas's smile grows as I eventually down the entire bottle.

"I'll hunt down some proper food tomorrow." He presses a kiss to my temple.

"Proper food?" I cock an eyebrow as I gaze up at him. "You gonna fry me some roadkill?"

He chuckles, putting an arm around my shoulders. "You sound so very southern when you talk like that."

"Well you can take the girl out of Georgia…" I nuzzle into him, draping my arm across his stomach, and let out a long exhale. "I can't believe you busted me out of there."

"I had no choice. I wasn't going to let them-"

"Let them what?" I sigh heavily. "I wish you'd stop being cryptic."

"They were going to send you to Charleston." He says the words heavily, as though he has to get them out before he thinks better of it.

My breathing halts for a second as I try to absorb his meaning. Charleston. I hear Matt's voice, telling me about all the women he'd been forced to sleep with. All the drugs they'd fed him to get him horny and hard and all the disgusting things required to make the babies the vamps desperately need. I cough out a gasp, and Silas's grasp around me tightens.

"You mean…" I still can't say it out loud.

"They were going to transfer you to the breeding farm."

"That's why they hadn't drained me in so long." That's why they kept me alive. It all makes sense now. Anyone else, they'd have shot. When I tried to… To kill myself. I squeeze my eyes shut. They brought me back, got me healthy again. Sending me to the gym, getting my weight up, and then that horrific examination. It was never about me. "They were keeping me for my uterus."

Silas swallows hard, his body tensing under my hands. I can feel the rage rolling off him.

"Yes, they were."

"And you killed Sam because she told you?"

My eyes fly open as his fingers notch under my chin, forcing me to look up at him. "Yes. Because she made out that you meant nothing, and that I would get over you. She had no idea, no fucking idea, that without you, I'm nothing."

My eyes go damp. "They were going to make me get pregnant."

Silas growls low in his throat. "And I wasn't going to let that happen. No one, you hear me? No one hurts you. I would never let anyone hurt you, or touch you like that. Nobody, ever."

"They were going to take me away from you." I reach up and stroke his cheek, and his hand curls around my wrist. He presses a kiss into the palm of my hand, his eyes slipping closed as he inhales.

"Yes. They were." He puts my hand to his forehead, and exhales heavily. "I couldn't bear it. I couldn't have them take you away. I wasn't going to let them do that to you, to us. So I did what I had to."

He pulls me into his lap, curling himself around me as though he wishes he could slip me under his skin. The warmth of the fire begins to wash over us, and my body begins to tingle with giddiness as I realize that we're free. I clasp a hand over my mouth to stop a giggle escaping.

Silas looks down at me with a crooked grin. "Angel?"

I nod, maybe a little too enthusiastically, and then Silas's eyes widen a little as I don"t stop nodding. Tears are sliding down my cheeks, and the floor begins to tilt and shift under me even though I know we're sitting still.

"Jules, I need you to calm down, alright? Deep breaths."

I'm having a panic attack, I can feel it. My hands start shaking, and Silas clasps me even tighter to him. "S-Silas." My fingertips claw into him. "Oh fuck, Silas, p-please, I don't-"

"It's alright, you're alright, I've got you." He strokes my hair. "Listen to me, focus on my voice. I'm here, and you're safe."

"I never thought-" I break off as a loud sob bubbles up my throat. "F-five years." I almost scream the words. Five years. Five fucking years.

"I know, I know." Silas begins to rock me gently, I think. I can't be sure, as the room continues to spin around me. "I should have gotten you out of there the day I laid eyes on you. I should have run with you right then and there."

"They-they were going to l-let some man rape me. They were going to-Oh god." My head falls against his chest. "I never - I never want anyone to- to…" I try to breathe, clawing at him. "B-bite me. Please, I want you to make me feel good."

He tenses, his hands splayed on my back. "Jules-"

"Bite me."

With a heavy breath he tips my head back, sinking his fangs into my neck. The sweetness floods my body before my mind can comprehend what's happening, and I sag in his arms. The blazing ecstasy of my orgasm pushes out all the dread and panic, leaving nothing but a white cloud of bliss in its wake. Silas's hand cups my breast, gently rolling my nipple between his fingers as his tongue sweeps across my skin, lapping up my blood.

I stay in his arms, my eyes closed, as he withdraws his fangs, licking away the punctures left behind. His hand stays on my breast, caressing me as tiny aftershocks jolt through my body.

"Thank you," I murmur. "I needed that."

"Yes, you did." His fingertips stroke down my stomach. "And I did too. But we need to be careful."

My eyes flutter open, and I frown up at him. "Careful?"

"I can't take too much blood if we don't have food for you." His hand splays over my stomach. "So, no more biting until we get you some protein."

"OK." I push the hair out of my face. "I guess you can always just give me an orgasm the old-fashioned way."

He laughs softly. "Trust you to have a panic attack and then be thinking about sex two minutes later."

"It's not my fault sex with you is like therapy."

"Well, as your therapist I'm going to prescribe you daily sessions." He chuckles as I lay my head back against his chest. "At least once a day."

"That sounds good to me." I sigh as his hand strokes my stomach. "So this colony in Roanoke, they'll let us both live there?"

Silas probably thinks I don't notice the split second hesitation before he answers, but it may as well have been a year.

"Sure, that's how it sounded."

"So you don't know?"

"Angel, you need to sleep." He strokes my hair again, brushing his fingertips against my scalp, and any protest I was about to utter dies on my tongue. "Now, we'll spend the night here, and drive the rest of the way to Roanoke tomorrow. Sleep."

And because the day was so overwhelming, I do.