Chapter Twenty-Five

O n the drive to Bozeman, the only sounds in the car were Audrey talking to her reflection in the baby mirror and the hum of the tires on the road.

Since Lori’s call two days ago and their disagreement yesterday, they said little to each other. Each of them probably worried about upsetting the other.

Her emotions were a tangled mess, like a ball of Christmas lights that no one could unwind without breaking a few bulbs.

When they pulled into the CPS parking lot, it hurt to breathe.

Reynolds parked near the front. They sat for a few moments as the engine cooled.

Multiple people entered and left. Some with children in tow, others wearing clothes that looked like they pulled them from a pile of dirty laundry. Some were impeccably dressed.

“I’m sorry I pulled you into this.” Sorrow dripped from every word. “I shouldn’t have asked you to give so much.”

“Please don’t apologize. I understood the risks. I just didn’t think… I hoped it would work. That we would work.” She sucked on her bottom lip, still looking out the passenger’s side window. Afraid for him to see her pain and his disappointment.

“Doesn’t mean I’m not sorry for hurting you.” Amazing how crippling grief can consume even the most alpha of men.

“You didn’t hurt me.” She wanted to hold his hand, touch him, but she couldn’t bring herself to reach for him. Pain mixed with anger at how wickedly the universe played its cards.

How misery was so easily distributed.

“There’s Lori.” He swallowed hard and Susan wiped her face with her sweater sleeve.

They signed in and were escorted to a waiting area before Lori took Audrey.

The parents who looked like they wore dumpster-level clothes sat in the corner. Susan recognized the style from one of the TikTok videos she discovered a few nights ago when Audrey couldn’t sleep. Despite the initial appearance, those were anything but low-level couture.

Susan and Reynolds chose to sit next to each other, their broken hearts keeping their conversation nonexistent as they watched an old gameshow rerun.

Most people worked on their computers, tablets, or their phones. A few read books, but most spent a lot of their time nervously watching the doorway.

For what it was worth, Susan appreciated they weren’t alone regarding possible parenthood, but it wouldn’t soften the blow if the father wanted her back.

After an hour, Lori returned and handed Audrey to Susan before she motioned for them to follow her to a conference room.

Her solemn smile told Susan everything she feared would happen when they started this five months, two weeks, and three days ago.

“Well?” Reynolds asked before Lori closed the door.

“He wants her.”

A punch in the stomach would have hurt less as Susan sunk into a chair, still managing to hold on to the sweet bundle in her arms. “Why?”

As calm, cool, and confident as Lori had always been, she grimaced as if she wanted to vomit all over the floor. “He said his grandmother insisted he had to raise her.”

“Come on, Lori!” Reynolds’s voice rebounded against the walls. “He wants her because his grandmother told him to? That’s stupid.”

“That’s what he said.”

“We have nothing to turn things in our favor?”

“He’s the biological father, Reynolds. I can’t change that fact. If he wants her, he’s going to get her, unless the court finds him or his grandmother a danger to Audrey or he’s wanted by the police already. Even then, it will take months to process and sever his rights. If there’s any question, she would stay in your care in the meantime.”

The weight of grief crushed Susan’s soul, and it would only get worse when she held this child for the last time.

Reynolds stomped around the room like an angry bear. “What about the common thread?”

“I tried to figure one out, but right now, I don’t see one.” Lori grabbed a tissue from the box on the table. “Like every case, there’s a group of us who discuss what would be in the best interest of the baby.”

“That means what?” Reynolds’s words were sharp as daggers.

“We review what’s happened so far and how we find the best possible outcome.”

Soaking in every moment, Susan held Audrey close, inhaling her perfect baby smell. Memorizing the shape of her face.

Audrey reached up and tried to poke Susan in the eye with her tiny, busy fingers.

Keep it together. Keep it together. Losing it would solve nothing. “What happens now?”

“The father’s talking to some other people in my department.” She tilted her head.

Reynolds’s eyes lit up. “He’s still here? Let me talk to him.”

Lori leaned against the door as he grabbed the doorknob. “No, Reynolds. We’re not there yet. I promise that if I can arrange a meeting between you and the bio father, I will. But he has no obligation to talk to you.”

The tension in the air sat thick with fear.

She’s leaving. We’re over. Susan could barely think the four brutal words and she sure as hell wasn’t going to say them out loud.

“Lori, I can’t do this again,” Reynolds whispered as his shoulders slumped.

She pulled him into a fierce hug. “I’m so sorry, Reynolds. I truly thought you two had this one. I really did.”

Susan stood. “Reynolds. Come on. We’re wasting time.”

He turned to her, his hair wild from angsty fingers. “What do you mean?”

“Let’s go home and enjoy what we have left.”