Chapter Twenty-Six

“Y ou’re a piece of shit, you know that, Ford?”

Upon entering the convenience store where his life changed forever, Reynolds almost turned a one-eighty when the argument hit his ears.

The past twenty-four hours pushed him to his max. After he, Susan, and Audrey left CPS, they drove home and did their best to spend happy moments together.

Once Audrey fell asleep, Susan crawled into bed with him. As upset as he was about the entire situation, he fully welcomed her passionate, almost desperate lovemaking session.

They woke this morning to Lori texting them to be at her office by eleven where she informed them that Audrey would leave tomorrow.

Susan drove back to Marietta to make it in time for her afternoon patients and to give their families time to say goodbye to Audrey.

Reynolds, who drove over separately, simply wanted to drive around to clear his head. But first, he needed coffee.

“Why am I shit, Ben? It’s not my fault.” A familiar male voice hit Reynolds’s ears right as he came around the corner from the back door.

“Hey, Ben.” Reynolds made a beeline for the coffee machines.

“Perfect timing, Dr. Reynolds,” Ben stated.

Not today. “Glad to be helpful.”

Without taking his eyes off the mega-sized to-go coffee container, Reynolds moved forward. “What’s on your mind?”

“This is the baby’s dad. Not that you’ve earned that title.” The clerk’s voice was full of snark and fury.

Reynolds froze. “What do you mean the baby’s dad?”

“Ford, Bernie, and I went to school together.”

“I know that guy.” The low chuckle of his repeat patient hit his ears.

Holy shit! Ford is the birth father?

Should he text Lori about this? Should he leave before saying anything stupid?

“Dr. Reynolds! Dr. Reynolds!”

“Let me get my coffee first, Ben.” Reynolds willed his hands still enough to fill an extra-large coffee cup three-quarters and add enough cream to put a lactose-intolerant person down for the count.

“Calm down, dude,” Ford mocked.

“You calm down, you piece of shit,” Ben growled.

A quick text to Lori before Reynolds turned around. “What’s on your mind, Ben?”

Holding his hands out like he was presenting a specimen at a lecture, Ben announced, “ He is the father of Bernie’s baby.”

Reynolds always wondered why the universe had so much fun fucking with him. Standing there, his frequent-flyer ER patient who made too many stupid choices.

Now he was about to make another one that would hurt a lot of people. Reynolds didn’t know if he should be happy or worried. “Ford.”

“Hey, doc. What are you doing here?”

“Getting coffee. Trying not have a nervous breakdown.”

Ford grimaced as if he didn’t get the sarcasm. “That sucks. My grandma says coffee makes people nutty.”

“Drink enough of it, I guess it could.”

“Did you hear me, Dr. Reynolds? This idiot is the father.” Ben’s voice was more insistent than a few moments ago.

“How do I know you’re not the father!” Ford stabbed a thick finger at Ben.

Despite being half Ford’s size, Ben didn’t back down. “Two reasons. One, you took a paternity test. Second, I’ve never had sex with Bernie.”

The way the kid gritted his teeth through the last part of that rebuttal sounded like it hurt to admit.

Reynolds glanced at his phone. Come on, Lori. Call me back.

Ford scoffed. “Really? I thought you were friends.”

Ben came around the counter. Even standing at his full height, he only came up to his friend’s chest.

Still, Ben reminded Reynolds of a pissed-off Chihuahua, telling a much bigger dog to find another yard to shit in. “Friends don’t always sleep together, you idiot.”

“Bernie and I were friends.”

“Some great fucking friend you are.” Ben’s finger stabbed Ford in the chest. “She got pregnant and you dumped her when she told you. If that’s what you call friendship, you suck.”

That’s fair.

“What was I supposed to do? Stay here and do what? End up like my brother? Dude’s got five kids and he’s not even thirty.” Ford moved out of Ben’s finger-poking range and rubbed his breastbone. “Or work at a convenience store for the rest of my life.”

“You were not supposed to abandon her! That’s what you were not supposed to do! Not leave her homeless! You were supposed to help her out!” If Ben didn’t wear his emotions on his sleeve, his increasingly higher-pitched responses would certainly key someone in to his mental state right now.

Ford shook his head. “Homeless? She wasn’t homeless. She stayed with her parents.”

“They kicked her out as soon as she told them, but you wouldn’t know that would you? Because you left. Stopped talking to her, you dumb shit.”

No response from Lori yet. What frustrated Reynolds more was even if he recorded this, it would make no difference in family court. Ford was her biological father. It didn’t matter what he thought happened in his absence.

The lights flickered for a few moments as the coffee machines all geared up for another round of brewing.

Reynolds simply watched the entire scenario unfold. Like earlier today in Lori’s office, there wasn’t a fucking thing he could do about it to get the outcome he wanted.

The family he almost had.

His heart shattered again.

Ford’s forehead scrunched up as he processed. “That sucks for her, but you gotta understand, I have a scholarship and can’t have a kid.”

“But you do.”

“I didn’t want a kid.”

And yet, you are taking her anyway.

“Then maybe you should have worn protection, ya idiot.” Ben grabbed a box of a popular brand of condoms and threw them at his friend’s face.

Damn, he didn’t demand for anyone to pay for that. He must be really pissed.

The comment appeared to have deflated Ford. Impressive as he stood at least six-five and probably had to turn sideways to get his shoulders through most doorways. “Bernie is a smart girl. I just figured she took care of things.”

“She did take care of things. Even when she had to live with a convicted felon, she took care of herself and the pregnancy. Then, because you weren’t around and weren’t going to be around and your parents slammed the door in her face—”

“Wait. What? Oh, Grandma’s not gonna like this.” He nervously chewed one of his fingernails. “Shit, you think that’s what they meant about me making a dumb mistake? Why they’re moving and didn’t tell me their new address?”

“Yeah! Yeah, I do,” Ben scoffed.

“I thought they were talking about me getting that fishing lure stuck in my hand. Or breaking my knuckles.” Ford tapped his thick finger on his chin for a few more seconds. “Is that why they changed my phone number? She wouldn’t know where I was?”

As if this situation weren’t insane enough.

“Bernie took care of finding the baby, your baby, a good home with good people. But you wouldn’t know any of that because you’re a selfish bastard who can’t think about anyone but himself.”

Oh, Ben almost had a great speech there and then he had to insult the guy. Reynolds took a few steps forward. “Why don’t we bring this down a notch?”

Without pause, Ben pointed to Reynolds. “That guy helped deliver your daughter.”

The your daughter punched Reynolds so hard in the chest that he almost forgot he was holding coffee. When the cup slid a few inches from between his fingers, he quickly recovered before it splashed to the floor. Please, don’t take her back.

Then Reynolds heard himself say those words and hated his selfishness.

Ford finally turned in Reynolds’s direction and tucked his thumbs in his belt loops. “Wait, you did that?”

“Did what exactly?” Reynolds sipped a bit of his coffee without spilling any on his shirt.

“Delivered the baby.”

Notice he didn’t say my baby. “I did some of it. Susan is the one who delivered her.”

“Who’s Susan?” Ford leaned against the counter and crossed his thick arms as though he were waiting for an answer he liked or understood.

“She’s my… um… my…” Words stuck on the back of his tongue like glue.

They were legally married, but what were they exactly? Colleagues? Lovers? Parents? Friends? All of the above? “Susan’s a midwife. She coached Bernie through her labor here in this store.”

“Without drugs? That’s intense. I hear pushing a baby out hurts like a bitch.”

Ben held his hand up. “Bernie almost broke my fingers.”

“You were there, too?” Ford almost looked hurt.

“Yes, she came here, and that piece of shit guy robbed the store, and she went into labor. Then Dr. Reynolds and Susan the midwife caught her. Here look.” Ben held up his phone and tapped the screen.

For the next several minutes, the two stared at whatever was on Ben’s phone and Reynolds wondered if there was anything in the store stronger than beer.

“That’s insane.” Ford’s complexion paled. “Oh! And she popped right out.”

“What are you watching?” Reynolds wanted to step closer but kept his distance.

“Bernie took a video of the baby’s birth. She sent it to me.” Ben pointed. “That’s Susan.”

Ford’s eyes glassed over. “You two are good together. What’s that crap all over the baby?”

“It’s called vernix.” Reynolds glanced at the snack machine that rotated one hot dog. He wondered how long it had been there. “After that, Bernie gave us joint custody of Audrey.”

“Who’s Audrey?”

With a deep exhale, Reynolds managed to answer without his voice cracking. “The baby.” But not my baby.

“That’s a nice name. Don’t know if I’ll keep it, though.” Ford shrugged but wiped away the tear that managed to escape.

“You shouldn’t.” Ben clenched his jaw as he tucked his phone back in the cradle behind the counter.

“You think I should change it?”

“No! I think you should relinquish custody, you big dumb—”

“Okay, okay. We get you’re pissed, Ben.” If Reynolds didn’t rein in this kid, he’d never get through to the bio dad.

Not that he blamed Ben one stinking bit for saying everything Reynolds thought. “To answer your earlier question, Ford, Susan and I have taken care of Audrey since she came home from the hospital.”

“Wow. Thanks.”

“Right. You’re welcome.”

“She potty-trained yet?”

Reynolds shook his head at the kid’s ignorance. “She’s five months old.”

Ford’s slack-jawed stare implied that his brain might have short-circuited. “Soooooo…”

“She’s gonna be wearing diapers for at least another year, probably two.”

“That sucks. I hate changing diapers.” Stuffing his hands in his well-worn jeans pockets, he moved closer to Reynolds, but kept well out of arm’s reach. “The social worker told me about all that. You being a single dad and then meeting that lady. Is that the one I saw you kiss after that game on July Fourth?”

“Yes.” The same day Susan and I took it to the next level. “We got married.”

“No shit! Congratulations.” Ben gave a few counts of applause.

Ford scoffed. “You got married? Why?”

Initially, he planned to say because it looked better regarding the adoption, but at this point, he honestly answered, “I love her.”

“Who?”

“Susan. And Audrey. We’re a family… right now.”

“A family. Wow. That’s a lot. Your wife is hot.”

“Yes, she is.”

“I can see why you married her. She’s got a great ass.”

You have no idea, kid. “Enough about Susan’s ass.”

Ben motioned toward Reynolds. “If you sign those papers, dipshit, he and Susan can get on with their lives and take care of the baby. Their baby. You can do whatever the hell it is you’re going to do, you selfish bastard.”

Calm down! “Ben, you’ve said your piece.”

For a long moment, Ford stared straight into Reynolds as though his gaze were made of laser beams.

All Reynolds could do was hold his breath and wait.

Ford shifted. “You want to adopt her?”

“Yes.” Desperately.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why’d you pick adoption? Just have your own kid.” The air of arrogance regarding paternity dripped off the kid’s commentary.

Reynolds had heard similar statements from people who simply didn’t get it. “It’s not that simple.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not possible,” Reynolds exhaled.

“You gay?”

Ben threw his hands up in frustration. “That’s not a reason people can’t have children, dude.”

Tilting his head to the side, Ford narrowed his gaze. “You’re a dude, right?”

“Always have been.” Despite the stupidly tense situation, Reynolds chuckled.

Ben buried his face in his hands. “How in the hell did you get a scholarship anyway?”

Ford flexed his arms. “Because I can stop the defense dead in his tracks.”

“You can barely spell your name.”

“Whatever, dude. Doesn’t matter. I’m tough as shit.”

Ben sneered as he leaned against the front counter, and something in his body language changed. “Tough enough not to break your hand on a brick wall? So tough that you’re taken out with a beer bottle or a BBQ grill or a fishing lure?”

Ben knew about the ER visits. Interesting.

“Hey, that fishing lure hurt like shit, and my eyebrows did grow back. But those things aren’t gonna keep me from playing.”

“Maybe not, but what are you going to do when some lineman hits you from the side, blows your knee out? Or you do something stupid again like car surfing? End up in the ER with a broken leg like Tommy? There goes your scholarship. How the hell are you going to support a baby then? Tell me that, you dumbass.” Ben’s thick glasses magnified the intensity of his stare.

For a moment, Ford’s arrogance waned. “It won’t happen.”

“Just like you wouldn’t get Bernie pregnant?” Ben’s ability to easily insert doubt in his friend’s confidence made Reynolds wonder if the bespectacled teen planned a future in litigation.

Ford shifted his weight before he changed his focus. “What’s your story, doc? And it better be good.”

It almost sounded like Ford wanted to cover all the questions he’d be asked by his demanding grandma before deciding what to do.

“Or what, Ford? You gonna strap her to your back and take her to football practice?” Ben beat his fist on the counter. “Take her to class? Study between diaper changes?”

“My grandma said I had to raise her.”

“Your parents had a chance to raise her and they slammed the door in Bernie’s face.”

Ford’s beefy jaw clenched. “You’re a liar. They said she never talked to them.”

“ They lied because I was there.” Ben wiped his nose with the back of his hand. “She asked me to go with her, but I stayed in the car. They didn’t even let her inside.”

Ford turned away and braced his hands against the frozen treats cooler near the front of the store. “I can’t believe this. They said they didn’t know.”

Reynolds wished this situation was unique, but it wasn’t. Family dynamics could be chaotic at best and destructive on multiple levels.

“And what’s your grandma gonna do to help with this?”

“Nothing.”

“That’s right. Fucking nothing.” Ben took a bag of candy and chucked it at his friend as he turned around. It hit Ford square in the chest and fell to the floor like a tin can being tossed at a tank.

This is solving nothing. Reynolds glanced at his watch. I’m losing time with Audrey. And Susan. If there was any time left for them as a family. Or a couple.

How did it go sideways so quickly?

Not even a week ago, the finish line sat right there. He and Susan even joked about what Audrey’s Halloween costume would be, taking her to the Christmas crawl, her first photo with Santa. Celebrating New Year’s together.

One selfish decision crushed their dreams.

Considering Ford hadn’t grasped the basic responsibility of fathering a child, Reynolds kept his answer simple. “You want to know why I chose adoption. It’s not in the cards for me to father a child so a long time ago, I decided to adopt.”

With a shrug of acceptance, Ford replied, “I mean, you’re a decent guy. Sewed me up a bunch. Helped me when I broke my hand, but why should I let you adopt my kid?”

Now he wants to be possessive?

Where was he when Bernie needed a place to stay?

When she needed help?

Tucking his anger away, Reynolds put his coffee down and approached. Screaming at this kid would accomplish nothing but convince him to take Audrey for all the wrong reasons.

And it would break Susan’s heart all over again.

His brain throbbed with the monumental task at hand.

Could he make this kid understand and save his family?

Taking the father in, Reynolds pulled from his foster care parenting training, hoping to find some pearls of wisdom that would sway things in their direction. “I don’t know what you want to hear, Ford. Between Susan and me, we make a good living. My house is paid for. I have no debt. Audrey will be in a good school. She already has a lot of family that adores her. She will be safe. She will be with parents who love her. She will lack for nothing. I’ll make sure she goes to college or trade school. Whatever she wants to do. What more can I say to convince you to allow us to adopt her?”

“I need to hear something really good because if I don’t take her back, my grandma is gonna beat my ass. She’s already told me she doesn’t believe in adoption.”

Ben’s fists clenched at his sides. “Your grandma is delusional and selfish.”

What is this mindset of not believing in adoption like it’s the Loch Ness Monster? “She doesn’t believe that there are children who have no one, genetically, to care for them?”

His forehead furrowed. “Um…”

Ben rolled his eyes. “He means no one who’s biological.”

“Oh! Man, I don’t know. My grandma doesn’t explain anything to me. She just tells me what to do.” Crossing his thick arms across his chest, he slumped as if the weight of the world hopped on his back. “I don’t even know how she found out about all this anyway.”

“I told her.” Ben put his hands up. “But I thought she’d tell you to sign the papers.”

“You’re a piece of shit! Why would you do that?”

“Because you wouldn’t answer any of the social worker’s emails or calls. Ms. Susan and Dr. Rey needed an answer. It wasn’t fair for them to keep waiting for you to follow through.”

“But my grandma—”

“That’s not a reason to keep a baby, Ford,” Reynolds gently interrupted. “You should raise your daughter because you want to do it. Not because someone else decided it for you. Especially someone who isn’t going to help. I mean, where are you going to live? In the dorms?”

The kid’s eyes went wide as if he hadn’t even considered it. “Shit.”

“How are you going to make this work? Who’s going to watch her when you have practice or during games? When you need to study or have a date?”

“Shit. Girls probably won’t date me if I have a kid.” He sucked on his bottom lip for a few beats. “Look, you’re a nice guy and I want to say yes, but unless there’s some sign from God, my grandma’s not gonna accept any excuse I give her.”

“Your grandma isn’t in charge of the baby’s life. You are.” Reynolds hoped his words were kind but stern.

Ben stomped his boot and ran his fingers through his hair so forcefully that Reynolds worried the kid would scalp himself. “Your grandma doesn’t even take care of herself. Why should she be in charge of this decision?”

“My grandma is in charge of everybody’s life in my family. She tells everybody what to do, and if we don’t listen, she makes our lives hell.”

She sounds delightful. Bet she’s fun at the holidays.

“No, she’s mean and hateful and wants everyone as miserable as she is.” Ben momentarily turned to Reynolds. “I’ve met her. She’s not a great person most of the time.”

“She likes you for some stupid reason,” Ford scoffed as the aroma of the nacho cheese warmer drifted around them.

“Maybe it’s because I’m nice to her.”

“No, that can’t be it.” Ford scratched his right shoulder.

This was the toxic environment Ford wanted his child to grow up in? Reynolds doubted the teen saw anything wrong with his family because it was all the kid understood.

It was possible Ford might be insulted if Reynolds said anything to the contrary.

The idea of screwing this up ate at Reynolds’s gut. He might have already drowned the entire thing by talking to Ford at all.

This was Reynolds’s worst nightmare come true.

After today, he would lose two of the most important people in his life. His heart hurt at the thought of it all.

Find the thread. Lori’s words echoed in his ears, but as many times as he and Ford met, not once had Reynolds found anything they connected on other than ER visits.

Please. Please, give us some hope. His angst hung so heavy that Reynolds didn’t care if he said those words out loud.

“So, doc? What’s it gonna be? Dammit, I think I got bit by something.” Ford pulled up his sleeve and scratched.

How could he connect with this kid? And then he saw it. “Is that—”

As he turned his shoulder toward Reynolds, Ford’s eyebrows pinched together. “Hey, doc. This stupid bug bite gonna mess up my tattoo?”

Reynolds’s heart leaped into his throat, blocking his oxygen as Bernie’s words on the day Audrey was born in this very spot, slammed into his brain.

Her shirt. His tat. His favorite cartoon.

Audrey. Susan.

The thread.

“Come on, doc. I just got the colors redone.”

“Your tat will be fine, Ford. In fact…” Exhaling a long breath, Reynolds pushed up the sleeve of his shirt. “I’ve got one just like it.”

A whisper of hope when Ford’s eyes went wide. “Holy shit.”

“Fuckin’ A.” Ben’s bright eyes magnified by the thickness of his glasses.

“Is that enough of a sign?” A wide grin spread across Reynolds’s face as relief replaced angst in Ford’s eyes.

“That’ll do it.”