13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

“ W hy are you in my workshop?” Theon demanded, straightening from whatever odd experiment he’d been hunched over to glare at me. “Who let you in?”

“Your mate.”

Theon huffed. “She knows I hate company.”

“That might be why she let me in,” I mused. I wouldn’t put it past Verity to deliberately antagonize her mate—he’d been particularly overbearing since their disastrous little jaunt to the human realm.

“Menace,” he grumbled affectionately.

All I wanted was a beautiful, happy, dysfunctional marriage like Theon and Verity had. Maybe not quite as dysfunctional, but I wanted to be challenged the way that Verity challenged Theon. She’d made him a better Shade. Or had he become a better Shade because he loved her?

Alas, apparently it wasn’t meant to be.

“Are you more pleasant to be around because of Verity or for Verity, do you think?

Theon shot me a disgruntled look. “I have always been pleasant to be around, which is why Verity chose me.”

“I thought you kidnapped her.”

“Why she chose me after I kidnapped her,” Theon amended, incapable of admitting he was wrong.

Why my feet had carried me here while my wounds stung from Iris’s rejection, I had no idea. Nothing about Theon projected comfort and sane advice, and yet here I was. Perhaps I just wanted the counsel of an older brother right now, and Allerick had already lectured me once today.

I pulled out one of the low stools beneath his workbench— why would Theon have more than one if he despised company so much? —and fiddled aimlessly with the odd implements he kept lying around his workshop.

This wasn’t how I’d expected to be feeling this afternoon. I thought we’d be celebrating by now—possibly naked.

Now I felt… flat.

The thing that was sticking with me the most was that she said I couldn’t love her. That I didn’t know her. Was that true? Did I really not love her?

Were these feelings because when I’d met Iris, for the first time, I’d seen a possibility of a future with someone, and I was merely upset that the possibility had been taken away? That she hadn’t wanted the same thing as me?

Or was this heartbreak?

As much as I often resented my title, I was the crown prince. Surely, finding someone that I liked enough to marry should have been the easiest thing in the world for me. Maybe I should overthrow Allerick and become king? He hadn’t had a problem finding a bride.

Theon sighed dramatically, setting down his tools. “Why are you here? Are you having some sort of crisis? Can Allerick not assist you with this?”

“I thought you’d be wiser counsel,” I replied innocently. Nothing could be easier than playing my older two brothers off against each other—they were both so competitive. Allerick tried to be dignified about it now since they were friends, though.

Theon immediately puffed out his chest, a smug grin on his face. “A very astute observation, little brother. So, what is the problem?”

“I proposed to Iris today. She said no.”

“Which one is Iris?”

I sighed heavily. “The newest ex-Hunter to come to the shadow realm. You haven’t met her yet.”

He grunted. “Can you not simply find an alternative bride?”

“Would you have ever considered an alternative bride if Verity had said no?”

Theon scoffed. “What kind of ludicrous question is that? I kidnapped Verity, then put my bite on her neck the day she arrived so she simply could not leave me.” He paused for a moment. “Have you considered doing that?”

“Not even once.” Theon hadn’t actually done that either. At least, not the first part.

He shrugged one shoulder, picking up his tools again. “Well then, I don’t know how to help you.”

“Come on, Theon,” I groaned, slumping over the bench. “When I met Iris… I don’t know. I felt like she was the one. I really imagined a future with her.”

“Then simply find out whatever it is that’s preventing her from imagining the same.”

Well, that was easy. Iris had told me that herself. “She wants to find… a purpose in the shadow realm. To find out who she is. She seems to think a princess needs causes and wisdom and other such things.”

Theon stared at me. “She’s right about that. I like her already.”

“She doesn’t need those things to be a princess,” I objected. “I don’t have them. My purpose is being the crown prince.”

Theon shot me a dark look and I felt a smidge bad about reminding him that I now possessed the title that he’d been given at birth. “In my experience, it’s a good idea to have an alternative purpose in life where that particular title is concerned.”

I grunted in acknowledgment because he may have a point there. I doubted there was any Shade who could pose a real threat in challenging me for the role—except perhaps Theon, though I was confident he didn’t want it anymore. But eventually, I would be usurped. Likely when Allerick and Ophelia had a child, whenever that happened. We had no idea what kind of strength a Hunter-Shade child would possess, but presumably it was significant, given how compatible our kinds were.

And besides that, we were trying to build a new world. One where we lived side by side in harmony. Having a monarch who represented both would be powerful symbolism. I wouldn’t be the most suitable for the position any longer.

“I don’t really have any other talents, though. Being the friendly, charming prince is the only skill I’ve mastered.”

“I was neither friendly nor charming as a prince. Surely you could apply those skills elsewhere,” Theon pointed out.

“I suppose so.” I couldn’t really see how, but perhaps there was a way. I drummed my claws on the bench, acutely aware that Theon’s eye was twitching in irritation the entire time. “Do you think Iris’s rejection was a forever no? Maybe she’ll change her mind once she feels more settled here.”

“How should I know? I’ve never even met her.”

I sighed heavily. “I should have talked to Verity about this.”

“Probably. You’re more than welcome to now. Why don’t you leave my workshop and go find her?”

“Fine, fine, I’m going. Thank you for your advice. It was… well, I’m not sure I would go so far as to say it was helpful. I suppose it has given me something to think about.”

Theon grunted in acknowledgment as I headed out, running into Verity in the foyer.

“Was he delighted to see you?” Verity asked innocently, a sly smile giving her mischief away.

“You know he wasn’t. I wanted to talk to him about my failed marriage proposal, but I see now that it’s you I should have spoken to instead.”

She blinked at me, silent for a long moment. “You… proposed ? To who? When? No, wait. Don’t answer—we need tea and cake and somewhere comfy to sit first. Please hold, caller.”

Verity headed off—a little less energetic than usual after her human-world trip—presumably to send for supplies, and I ambled into the downstairs drawing room, leaving the door open so she’d be able to see me when she returned to the foyer. From memory, this room had been closed up the last time I’d been here, but Verity was working her way around the manor, opening and cleaning out the dusty rooms so they were usable once more.

Lindow had felt like a dying estate before Verity had come here, and she’d brought it back to life with her presence. She’d brought Theon back to life too, in a very literal sense.

Was that her purpose? Did everyone need a purpose? All this thinking was making my head hurt.

If revitalizing Lindow and the Duke who resided here was Verity’s purpose, it certainly wasn’t some grand, unachievable goal. It was localized and defined, and Verity excelled at it. And it had benefitted her too—Verity had a confidence now that she’d never possessed when she lived at the palace.

I wanted Iris to find that sense of confidence in her place in the realm too.

I really shouldn’t have proposed.

Fuck’s sake. I could never tell Allerick about this. He had warned me to wait a month.

“Okay, okay, Aderith is bringing tea,” Verity announced, throwing a fluffy pink blanket at me and keeping one for herself. She sat in one corner of the sofa, pulling her legs up tightly beneath her and wrapping the blanket around her. “Tell me everything.”

I relayed the morning’s events to her, gratified to finally be getting the reactions that Theon had thoroughly failed to provide.

“Wow,” Verity said, sitting back in her seat and taking a sip of the tea she’d poured while I’d been talking. “And after all that… You went to Theon for advice?”

“In hindsight, I can see that was a poor choice on my part. But I wasn’t in the mood to listen to Allerick and Soren scolding me for not taking it slow and whatever else they demanded.”

Verity nodded solemnly. “Very understandable. Absolutely no one wants to hear I told you so , no judgment there. What’s the plan now?”

“What would you do?”

“If someone rejected my marriage proposal? Leave the whole realm, probably. None of you would ever hear from me again. But you’re not as cowardly as I am,” she added hastily.

I laughed, helping myself to a cake. Leaving the realm wasn’t an option—unlike Verity, I wouldn’t maintain my corporeal form once I was out of the shadow realm. I could move to a different region—there was family property on my mother’s side I could challenge a cousin for.

But if I ran away, Iris might feel bad. She was sweet and kind and good, and I didn’t want to make her feel for a single second like she’d done anything wrong.

“I’m not going to do that. I was thinking perhaps that while Iris is searching for her place here, I could do more with mine? Embrace the authority that has been bestowed on me, and such. Be more… involved in things.”

Verity nodded in understanding. “Begin your healing journey, totally. I love that for you.”

“I was thinking more along the lines of find some form of employment.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I mean, I guess you could do that too. Maybe you could be Theon’s assistant? The Elders really want him to ramp up his portable-in-between orb production.”

“That’s very kind of you, but I suspect we would duel within minutes of working together.”

“True.” Verity nodded, tilting her head to the side thoughtfully. “I can’t really see you in a practical job anyway. You’ve got more of that middle management vibe, you know?”

“No.” I only ever understood about half of every conversation I had with her—unlike the others, Verity didn’t go out of her way to use references that Shades would understand. I was fairly confident she just said whatever words popped into her head the moment that they appeared there.

“You know—charming and personable and able to present well and talk about maximizing efficiencies, but not really qualified to do anything.”

“I can’t decide if I should be offended by that or not.”

She laughed. “Not everyone can be charming and hold a conversation with whoever they meet—that is a talent. Neither of your brothers have it.”

I leaned back in the seat, mulling over her words and wondering if she’d let me take this very soft, comfortable blanket with me. She wasn’t wrong—neither of my brothers were capable of maintaining a conversation that went beyond a few sentences.

When I thought about Iris’s description of having a cause and adding value, my chatty nature didn’t really seem like enough though.

“You’re overthinking things,” Verity observed, watching me closely. “That’s a surefire way to drive yourself crazy. And I get it—because I’d definitely be doing the same thing—but you did jump in pretty hot with proposing right away. How did you leave things with Iris?”

“She still wants us to be friends.”

“Good. Be her friend. Focus on yourself. Figure out who you want to be. The rest will fall into place when it’s meant to.”

“You sure about that?”

Verity tipped her chin up confidently. “Of course I am. Trust me, I’m a duchess.”