7. Max

Bright lights blindedme just like they did every morning. Someone was sneaking into my room every morning and opening my blackout curtains that I bought just for this reason. A man needed sleep and early mornings were not allowed in my room.

“Wake up, asshole. It’s time to get moving. Cash wants a report.”

Grumbling, I rolled over, about to drag the woman from last night into my arms. But the bed was empty. Peeling my eyes open, I searched the bed with my hand, sure she would appear if I looked hard enough.

“I brought a woman home last night, right?”

Edu scowled at me. “You don’t even remember her name?”

I grunted. At least that answered my question. “Was I supposed to?”

“You’re such a pig.”

“What’s your point?” I asked, genuinely confused.

“You shouldn’t have fucked her.”

“Why?” I sighed, shoving to the edge of my bed.

“You’ll find out soon enough,” he chuckled.

Whatever the joke was, I didn’t get it. “I’ll be down later. I’m going back to sleep.”

I flopped down and pulled the covers over me, but they were yanked off and cold air brushed my skin. “Fuck! That’s cold!”

“That’s the point, asshole. We flipped for it and I got the unlucky assignment of getting your ass out of bed. And since I don’t feel like babying your ass, we’re doing this my way. You have two minutes to get going, then I’m getting a cold bucket of water and dumping it over your head.”

“Fuck off,” I grumbled, rolling over. I needed another drink. I heard him walk away and rubbed my nose into the pillow beside me. There was a nice scent that wasn’t usually there. Maybe a floral scent of some kind. I pulled it closer and snuggled into it, just falling back to sleep when cold water poured all over my body, eliminating the enticing smell.

“What the fuck!” I shouted, leaping out of bed. In a flash, I had Edu by the throat, shoved against the door. “What the fuck was that for?”

“I told you what I’d do,” he snapped, tearing my hand from his throat.

“You ruined my scent!”

“Alcohol is pretty easy to replicate,” he retorted.

“Not that. My pillow smelled like her, and you just ruined it!”

“Then I guess you should remember who you fuck next time,” he snapped, tearing the door open and marching out of the room. “I’m done with him,” he said to someone as he walked down the hallway.

Scottie strode to the door, leaning against the frame. “I’m not sure what you did to him, but he’s about to pull his weapon and put you in the ground.”

“What did I do to him?” I grumbled, even though he just told me he didn’t know. Then his words hit me. “Fuck, did I sleep with his sister or something?”

Scottie tossed his head back and laughed. “I can say for certain that you didn’t.”

“Whatever. The man ruined my scent. I would have slept so well rubbing my nose into that pillow.”

“That’s…just a little weird. You know, considering that you can’t remember who you slept with.”

“It’s weird because I don’t know her?”

“Well, yeah. If she was your wife, I’d say rub away. But to a stranger? I think that’s weird by anyone’s standards.”

“Not that it really matters,” I sighed. “I don’t remember who she was anyway.”

“You can look later,” he said, pushing off the door. “Cash wants a meeting now. He’s fucking pissed about the helicopter. We need a story.”

“So, make up a story.”

He scoffed at me. “Don’t you get it? This is on you and me. We’re the pilots and you fucked up.”

“Sure, if you think blowing up a helicopter is fucking things up,” I grumbled.

“Uh, I’m pretty sure most people would consider that a monumental fuckup. Now, get your ass moving.”

I didn’t want to do it, but whatever. I was awake anyway. And pretty much sober, which just sucked. I dressed as quickly as possible, not wanting to wash the scent of the woman from last night off my skin. I was still sniffing my arm when we walked into the conference room ten minutes later.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Lock snapped.

My eyebrows shot up at the vehemence in his voice. “Good morning to you too.”

“The rest of us have been trying to come up with a plan for the last hour and you stroll in at the last minute.”

I shrugged, taking a seat and pulling a cigar out of my pocket. As I lit it, I ignored the glares of my fellow coworkers. They were such a stiff bunch. They really needed to loosen up. “So, what’s the plan?” I asked, puffing on my cigar.

“I say we hang this all on Max,” IRIS spoke up. “It’s his fucking fault anyway.”

“Actually, it’s Fox and FNG’s fault,” I corrected. “They joined me in the helicopter and wanted to be part of the action. Had they never showed up, I would have?—”

“Probably passed out in the helicopter,” Scottie cut in. “Face it, you were too drunk to be there.”

“Hey, I did some amazing flying that night. You weren’t there.”

“Why does he have to know?” Fox asked. “I mean, honestly, it wasn’t even our helicopter. It was a rental.”

“Yeah, and the company that rented the chopper to us has to file an insurance claim,” Scottie pointed out. “Kind of hard to do if we deny blowing up the chopper.”

“Fuck them,” I grunted, slamming my feet up on the table as I leaned back in the chair. “Anyone got any whiskey?”

“Dude, it’s fucking seven-thirty in the morning,” Lock snapped.

My eyes flew open at that. “Say what? Son of a bitch! I can’t believe you dragged me out of bed so fucking early in the morning. What the hell am I going to do for the rest of the day?”

“Be awake for it?” Edu suggested.

“You could take some fucking responsibility for once in your life and actually participate in what we’re doing,” Lock suggested, still staring at me in anger.

Fox stood suddenly, pacing in front of us all. “Look, it’s best if we just don’t talk about anything.”

Brock laughed. “Your idea is to say nothing?”

“Why not?” Fox asked, worrying his bottom lip. “That’s it. We just don’t say a thing. Cash can’t force us to talk.” Then he faced me with a hard look. “About anything. No one needs to know anything that happened on that helicopter.”

“Like what?” Brock asked in confusion, glancing between FNG, Fox, and me. “What happened on the helicopter? Did we miss something?”

“Nothing!” Fox said instantly, clearing his throat as he stared at his hands. “Nobody ate anything or danced or sang…and the helicopter blew up when the mission went sideways. That’s all Cash needs to know.”

“Right,” I nodded, finding that explanation was good enough for me. “So…now that that’s done, I think it’s time for a drink.”

Without waiting for anyone else to agree, I sauntered toward the door.

“That’s it? You’re just leaving us with filling out the reports?” Lock asked.

I turned and shot him a lazy grin. “What’s the point? You’ll just go back and rewrite my report anyway. Come on,” I smiled. “You know you want to do it. Little Lock needs to do this for the little organizer inside him, just begging to control the situation.”

And he crumbled just like that. “Fine, I’ll write the damn report, but don’t get drunk off your ass. I need you to sign it.”

“Just ring when you’re ready,” I said, turning for the door. “Oh, but make sure it’s before four o’clock.”

“What’s at four?” Lock shouted.

“I’ll be at the bar.”

“Whatcha doing?”Fox said, sliding onto the bar stool beside me.

Taking a drink of my beer, I ignored him. I didn’t like to hang out with guys outside of work. This was my time to get away and enjoy the beautiful women of the world, and he was stepping all over my style.

“See, I was thinking about what happened…between us…that night?—”

I cut him off with a glare, not liking what he was implying. “Nothing happened between us.”

“Exactly!” he grinned, still looking guilty. “Nothing happened. I just want to be clear on that.”

“You don’t have to be. I’m aware of what didn’t happen.”

“Right,” he nodded. And just when I thought he would shut up and leave me alone, he spun on his stool to fully face me. “It’s just…I’ve been tearing myself up inside over what didn’t happen.”

Christ, here we went again. I brought the beer to my lips and chugged the rest of it, but this wouldn’t be nearly strong enough to get me through sitting here with Fox. I lifted my hand and motioned to the bartender to grab the good stuff on the top shelf.

“I hate that it happened. I feel so guilty,” Fox rambled. “I have this new life that I’m carving out for myself. And when you left those Funyuns laying around?—”

I snapped my head in his direction, narrowing my eyes at him. “Don’t you dare fucking blame this on me. You ate my snack bag.”

“Technically, they were mine. I left them on the plane. I never gave you permission to eat them.”

“You weren’t eating them anymore,” I accused.

“That doesn’t give you permission to take them.”

The bartender set my whiskey down in front of me and I immediately brought it to my lips, only feeling better when I downed the entire glass.

“As for the Funyuns incident, it doesn’t really matter because it didn’t happen.”

Tell that to my stomach.

“But there were…other things…that happened that night.”

Sighing, I turned to him. “Do you have to make everything sound like a sordid affair?”

He flushed, rubbing his hand along the back of his neck. “Look, I’ll admit that I fell off the wagon. I…did things I swore I would never do again. We…I never should have allowed it to happen. I’m ashamed of my behavior.”

“You should be,” I snorted. “No sane man dances with another man.”

“We agreed that never happened!” he snapped. “We don’t speak about it.”

“You don’t,” I chuckled. “I never agreed to that.”

“Yes, you did!”

“When?”

“When I told you we weren’t talking about it. And you were there. You have just as much to be ashamed of.”

“No, I don’t, because as you pointed out, it never happened. And even if it did, I was pretty much drunk off my ass. I always do stupid shit when I’m drunk.”

Like sleeping with a woman and forgetting who she was. I spun on my stool and looked around for her with less discretion than I’d used before Fox sat down. I’d waited for the last hour, hoping she’d walk through that door, but no luck yet. And sadly, I wasn’t sure I’d recognize her if she walked right up to me. Not unless I smelled her. I’d never forget that scent.

“Do you know what it’s like to try and change your life and have setbacks like this?” Fox continued to ramble.

“Not really. I don’t change myself.”

“But you have to adapt. It’s the only way to survive.”

“I don’t agree. I like my life just the way it is and I don’t change for anyone.”

“But…you have to. Are you seriously going to continue on through life drinking yourself to death?”

That reminded me…I tapped the bar for a refill. “I see no problem with the way my life is. If you want to change yours, go for it, but don’t expect me to jump on that bandwagon.”

“It’s not a bandwagon,” he said defensively. “I’m working to redefine myself.”

“Why?” I asked, tired of beating around the bush. “So, you liked to torture people. What’s wrong with that?”

“Everything. It destroys your humanity.”

“Does it?” I questioned. “Or do you just think that’s the answer everyone wants you to give so you appear normal?”

His eyes widened as he stared at me. I hit the nail on the head.

“It’s for Anna. How could she possibly continue to love a man so damaged?”

Christ, now I was giving love advice? “She chose you, didn’t she?”

“Yes, but I’m sure on some level she thought I would…eventually be different.”

“Yeah,” I snorted in laughter. “We all change and become better versions of ourselves. One day, you’ll find me doing yoga with you as I sip on green tea. Then, when we’re done, we can delve into the really big questions of the universe.”

“It could happen. Never say never.”

“It won’t happen,” I snapped. “And do you know why? Because I like my whiskey. I like fucking any woman who walks in the bar. Unlike the rest of you, I’m perfectly happy with who I am. There is no bigger reason out there, and there’s no better side of me. I am who I am, and I’m not about to change that.”

“Not even if the right woman came along?”

I barked out a laugh, stuffing my cigar in my mouth that had been resting in the ashtray on the bar. “Not even for a woman. And do you know why?”

“Because you’re the master of your universe?”

“Well, that and because no woman can make you happy. No person alive can do anything to make you better. You can only do that for yourself. And if a person can make you happy, they can also make you do really fucking stupid shit—like giving up your favorite snack or refusing to use a weapon when people are shooting at you. You, my friend, are the product of relying on others to tell you what you should and shouldn’t be like. Before Anna came along, you were perfectly happy killing people. Now…” I looked him up and down. “Now, you’re a fucking mess, missing your Funyuns and pretending you didn’t dance to a show tune while the rest of us killed anyone around us. And that…is sad.”

With no sign of my mystery woman at the bar, I spun back around and tapped the glass for a refill. I thought I had finally gotten rid of Fox, that he would finally leave me alone. And to some extent, I was right. He did leave, but another stupid fucker showed up just a short time later, plopping down on the right side of me. I ignored FNG as he sulked beside me, but I knew the silence wouldn’t last forever.

“You know, just over a year ago, I was sitting at this very bar, drinking my cares away. But I knew it would all end. That was the night I lost everything.”

I rolled my eyes, taking another drink. My silence should have been enough of a fuck off for him to stop talking, but unfortunately, that’s not how my night was going to pan out.

“I thought they would all understand, you know?”

Again, I remained silent.

“FNG, those stories can’t be real,” he said mockingly. “What do they know? They weren’t there!”

Fuck, how many more people were going to sit down beside me? I was going to have to find a new bar to troll.

“Those stories were so unbelievable. I was confused and they didn’t make any sense. You kept jumping around.” He snorted. “That’s what they all told me. Can you believe that shit? I only jumped around because it depended on who I was telling the story to, you know? That’s good storytelling. And I couldn’t mention everything that happened! Some of it was classified.”

I sighed heavily, raising two fingers to the bartender. This was going to be a long night.

“His stories were good, but kind of exhausting.” He snorted again. “Exhausting. They should have been there! Do you know one of them actually said it sounded like my stories were told by a mental patient? How rude is that? No respect for what I went through.”

“Maybe you should write a book about it,” I suggested sarcastically.

“Right,” he snorted. “Then they’d believe me.” His eyes went wide as he turned to me. “I should write a book!”

“I wasn’t serious.”

“No, think about it! One of them told me it was like one of those Facebook ads that takes you all over the place without actually getting anywhere. If I wrote a book?—”

“Nothing would actually change,” I cut in. “Do you know why?”

His shoulders slumped as he faced forward. “Because it was classified.”

“That, and you’re a fucking dipshit. Do you honestly think you’d tell the story any differently?”

“No,” he grumbled. “And why should I? I told the absolute fucking truth, and if they choose not to believe me, that’s on them.”

I held up my glass in salute, though I really didn’t give a shit either way.

“Maybe I should go on another trip,” he scoffed. “Then they’d miss me. They’d all be crying What happened to FNG? We miss him so much.”

“Of course, they would,” I agreed, mostly just to agree.

“Yeah, they all claimed to be so worried about me. They loved me so much and how could I do that to them? They were so fucking depressed when I was gone, and when I returned, where was the love? They just bitched about not getting the full story. Did they ever stop and think that I couldn’t give them what they wanted? No,” he said, dragging the o out a little too long. “I’m not an island, you know. I have feelings. I have needs.”

“That’s your first mistake,” I snorted.

“No man is an island. That one guy said it. What was his name?”

“Don’t know.”

“It doesn’t matter. The point is, I’m just like everyone else. I need people in my life. Everyone does.”

“Not me,” I grumbled, downing the rest of my drink. Hell, how did I attract this kind of attention? I wasn’t a fucking therapist.

“We should form our own team,” he slapped me on the shoulder. “You know what I mean? Just the two of us. And maybe Fox,” he said excitedly. “We could be like the three musketeers.”

“I don’t join groups.”

“And then they’d all be jealous,” his eyes gleamed. “Just think, the two guys they love the most and you.”

I quirked an eyebrow at him, wondering how he thought he was going to bring me on board with his crazy plan when he put it like that.

“No offense, but you haven’t won them over like I have.”

“Yeah, you won them over so much that they’re bitching about you.”

“And that’s just why we need to form our own group. They’ll see how fucking amazing we are together and they’ll wonder why they didn’t welcome me back with open arms when they had the chance.”

I sighed and thunked my head down on the counter. This night was never going to end.

“I’ll make a list of things we need to do to get started. Ooh, and you should really quit drinking. We have a lot of work ahead of us.”