23. Max

“Nice of you to join us,”Cash said, barely acknowledging me. “As I was saying, this job is a simple in and out. Even for the three of you, it shouldn’t be too hard.”

“We won’t screw it up, boss.”

Cash’s eyes flicked to Fox. “We’ll see.”

“Road trip!” Fox jumped up, waving his hands in the air. “I’ve got the perfect snack for us!”

“I’m not eating Funyuns the whole time,” FNG snapped.

Fox grimaced. “Those are super unhealthy. No, I baked cookies last night for us. I like to call them healing cookies. And I’ll bring along some tea for us. Oolong. You’ll love it.”

“Why would I love anything that has the word tea in it?”

“You just wait and see. This’ll be great!”

I stepped forward, pulling out my flask. “Where are we going?”

Cash didn’t even bother to look up at me. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“But you said the three of us.”

Dash pushed past me into the room. “Boss, I just want to say what a terrible idea this is.”

“You like to get out of the IT room. This will be good for you,” Cash said as he wrote up some notes.

“But with FNG? Need I remind you what happened the last time we were on a job together?”

Cash looked up, frowning at him. “You kept Thumper and Bree alive, if I recall correctly.”

“Uh, we nearly killed each other. And there were definitely a lot of other murders along the way.”

Cash shrugged. “Well…just make sure you hide the bodies.”

“Wait,” I stepped forward, shaking my head. “I thought I was on the team.”

“I thought so too, but you don’t like to fly and you’re always drunk. It doesn’t seem like a good fit.”

“And Fox is? He doesn’t even hold weapons!” I said incredulously.

Why the hell was I being pigeonholed when we had a crazy man on the team who only liked to meditate?

“He can talk them down while FNG and Dash do all the work.”

“And I have amazing biscuits,” Fox grinned. “Tell me one killer who wouldn’t stop what he’s doing to have a taste of the best biscuits in the world.”

“The Kamau,” Dash said drolly.

“Right,” Fox frowned. “That’s true, but he’s a special breed.”

“Who is the Kamau?” I asked.

Fox beamed at me as he jumped on the table and sat down with his legs crossed like a kid. “He’s this really awesome assassin. Super killer and totally ruthless.” Then he cocked a grin at me. “He gave me his jacket and his boots.”

I stared at him, completely unimpressed. “Is that some rite of passage?”

“Oh, no. He just did that because he likes me.”

This guy was seriously fucked up. He took another man’s boots and jacket. What the fuck was wrong with him?

“Who’s flying out?”

“We’re hiring a pilot,” Cash said, again completely fucking ignoring me.

“You’re hiring a pilot? What the fuck am I doing here if you’re not going to use me?”

He finally stopped working and looked up at me. “You know, that’s a good question. I thought you had potential, but even the woman who was infatuated with you has walked away. And she barely knows you. Let’s face it, I gambled on you and lost.”

The room filled with silence as he went back to work. The others didn’t even want to look at me. Not that I normally cared. Hell, I wasn’t sure what they thought bothered me at all. But what did hit home was what he said about the woman who nearly castrated me.

She walked away? When the fuck did that happen? Oh yeah, at the church. And there was that whole weird thing at her house. But that had been mutual. We both knew it would never work out. Besides, dating her would be like dating her father, and I never wanted to step foot in a church again.

I took a swig from my flask and tried not to think about how much I still wanted her. Strictly for sex, of course. We had a good time. I gave her the best sex of her life. Besides, if anyone was going to walk away, it would be me. She was the one who nearly bit my dick off. I only showed her pleasure.

I shifted uncomfortably just remembering our little issue in the bedroom. Then again, now that I knew she was a virgin, it made complete sense. She didn’t know any better when it came to blow jobs. If I stuck around, I would still get the pleasure I desperately craved from her, but I’d also get to teach her a thing or two about what a man likes.

Scratch that. What I liked. No other man needed to go near her.

I could take her out for beer and nachos. That was a date, right? I’d show her a good time and then take her back to my place for lessons. Yes, I was doing the world a favor by educating her on the various pleasures during sex. I was really helping her out for her future husband. I could imagine being invited to the wedding, and he would shake my hand, thanking me for all the amazing things I had taught her.

I grimaced at the thought. Okay, I didn’t actually want to picture her with another guy. I’d just have to leave and find a new woman to delight me. But until then, I could still enjoy some time with her.

Well, after my dick healed. I was still a little gun shy. But what was I supposed to do in the meantime? Laze around here and not think about her? That would never work. I’d have to be drunk the whole time, and then I’d probably do something stupid in my drunken state—like go find her for another round.

There was no way I could sit around here while they were off on a trip. I had to do something, or I’d spend all my time thinking about Christa and all the things I wanted to do to her body.

“You know, I’m still relatively sober. I mean, I could fly and save you the money.”

“That’s okay. We wouldn’t want to put you out.”

“Boss,” FNG spoke up. “We are a team and?—”

“Not much of a team,” Cash muttered. “You have one guy who’s always trying to kill himself just to prove a point. Another guy who refuses to engage in warfare. And this dipshit is so drunk he can’t do the one thing I hired him to do.”

“I’m not drunk right now,” I muttered.

“No, but you are holding a flask,” Cash said, eyeing the silver canister in my hand. “I’m sure, given another hour, you’ll be well on your way.”

“Boss—”

Everyone gasped, staring at me like I was an alien.

“What?”

“You’ve never called him boss before,” Fox said, his eyes wide.

I hadn’t? “Whatever.” I set the flask on the table against everything in me. “I won’t bring it along. I need this.”

He leaned back in his chair, staring at me curiously. “Why now?”

There was no fucking way I was admitting that a woman had me torn up inside. Not a chance in hell would I ever let a woman have that much power over me. I could push it aside and get back to who I was. I just needed to get away and clear my head.

“I’m turning over a new leaf.”

Cash snorted and went back to work. “Nope.”

“Alright, then…I miss flying.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“I haven’t had the opportunity to dump FNG out of a plane in a while.”

“You just did that.”

“Yeah, but it was a helicopter.”

I could tell I wasn’t moving the needle even a little. “I miss my parents.”

That caught him off guard. Okay, I could work with this.

Leaning back in his seat, he waited for me to continue.

“I…lost them when I was very young. I guess I’ve never really formed any connections in life because I know how difficult it is when a person is gone.”

“How did they die?”

Shit, I should have had that worked out ahead of time.

“Plane crash.”

Yeah, that was the wrong way to go.

“It’s why I became a pilot. I had to conquer my fears.”

Damn, I am so smooth. I should write this shit for profit.

“That’s terrible,” Cash said quietly. With his eyes downcast, I knew I had him right where I wanted him.

“Yeah, it was really fucking hard. I was only ten.”

“That’s a rough age.”

I nodded, swallowing hard as the fake memories washed over me. “Yeah. I acted out a lot. I bounced around from foster home to foster home. One of them beat me constantly. I still have the mental scars. Probably another reason I drink so much.”

“Man, that’s rough,” Fox said, his voice filled with tears. I glanced over, staring at the man who was on the verge of crying. “I killed the man who raped and murdered my mom. It was…horrible, yet so cathartic. But I used that to fuel my rage. I never realized how much it was hurting me until it was nearly too late. I almost lost a piece of myself.” His voice cracked and he turned away, wiping at his face. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, I totally get it,” I continued. “I got hooked on drugs for a while, and when that didn’t get rid of the pain, I switched to prostitutes.”

“At the age of ten?” Dash asked unbelievably.

“No, I was older then. Thirteen.” I nodded, staring off into space for added effect. “I wish I could go back and tell that kid to straighten up.” I sighed heavily. “But it’s too late for that. I got in with the wrong crowd, and pretty soon, I was working for a pimp named Harry. He sent me into the streets, hooking for a measly ten dollars a job. Men, women…it didn’t matter who they were or what they wanted. By fifteen, I was just as good at blow jobs as I was at taking it in the ass. That last time…” I cupped my hand over my mouth, giving the act of a lifetime. “It’s what finally had me joining the military. I just couldn’t do it anymore.”

I heard a sniffle and glanced up at Fox, who was wiping the tears from his face. “I’m sorry. It’s just…I see so much of myself in you. I feel like you’re really someone I can talk to.” He sniffled, walking over to me and tossing his body against mine.

Shocked, I patted him on the back. “Uh…yeah, we have to stick together.”

He stepped back, wiping his eyes with the heel of his hand. “I never opened up to anyone before. Not even Anna. She doesn’t really know what it did to me, to take a life at such a young age.” Fox turned to look at Dash and FNG. “Anything you want to share?”

FNG snorted. “The last time I shared, I was laughed out of the office.”

Dash shifted uncomfortably. “I’m good.”

Man, I had them all right where I wanted them. Cash especially. He was eating out of the palm of my hand. It was like giving candy to a toddler. I even went so far as to offer Fox a corner of my shirt to wipe his tears with.

“So, that’s my story,” I said, making my voice wobble. “After years of faking it in the military, I lost myself on an island, drinking away my cares and wishing I could just end it all. I guess that’s what makes me so reckless. I just don’t have the will to live anymore.” Then I looked up at all of them with sad eyes. “Until I came here. You showed me what family was really like. You gave me a path I could follow, and while I know I have a lot of work to do, I want to get better. I want to be the man all of you can rely on. I want to be part of the team.”

Great performance. Strong finish. I had them all eating out of the palm of my hand. Fox especially. He looked like he was on the verge of a ten-day cry.

“Wow,” Cash said, nodding as he stared at the folder in front of him. “Thank you so much for opening up to us.”

“It was time,” I choked out.

“It was very emotional.”

“You can say that again,” Fox cried. “I think I need a tissue. And maybe some tea.”

He started for the door, but Cash stopped him. “In a minute.” His eyes locked on mine. “I want you to know how much we appreciate you sharing such a traumatic part of your past with us. It couldn’t have been easy.”

“But it was so rewarding,” I answered, continuing my Oscar-worthy performance.

“And I’m sure your parents would be especially interested in your version of events.”

“His version, boss? That’s so callous. His parents— are gone,” Fox choked out. “Have some respect for the dead.”

By the look on Cash’s face, I already knew what was coming. He tossed the folder across the table, letting it slide right in front of Fox. “I think they’d be particularly interested in how you turned tricks as a kid, especially since they sent you to Catholic school.”

I felt my pits start to sweat, but I shook it off. “It’s something that haunts my dreams.”

“Yes, and I’m sure they wish they could change that part of your life as they swing on their front porch in Georgia.”

Fox’s gaze shot to mine. “They’re alive?”

“Uh…”

“Nice try,” Cash grinned. “It was a very…interesting story. I especially liked the part about how you pimped yourself out. It’s a nice, tragic twist. However, if you’re going to convince me you need to go on this mission, you’re going to have to give me something I can actually believe in. You were probably too drunk when I hired you to remember, but I told you I’d be running a background check on you.”

Fuck.

Dash and FNG didn’t look all that surprised, but Fox looked like I’d torn his heart out.

Cash leaned forward, clasping his hands together. “So, would you like to tell me the real reason you so desperately want to go with them?”

No, I didn’t, but I could see that honesty was the only way I’d get what I wanted. Against everything in me, I told the truth. “Okay, my parents are alive and well. I don’t speak to them. Mostly because they forced me to go to Catholic school. They’re very religious and I refused to buy into that crap. I was kicked out of school after only a week, and my parents never forgave me. But that’s just a little background on me. It hasn’t done a thing to shape me one way or another. I joined the military and you know the rest. But the real reason I want to go is because…because I like a girl. Woman,” I corrected.

FNG grinned at me. “Now, this is interesting.”

“Fuck off,” I snapped. “It’s not gonna happen. I mean, it’ll happen, but not until my dick is healed.”

FNG snorted. “She pulled a?—”

“We don’t need to tell everyone what happened,” I snapped. “The point is…I like her. A lot,” I admitted. “And…I want her, but things need to heal. And then I can come back with my head on straight so she can’t cloud my judgment anymore.”

“I thought the booze did that,” Dash retorted.

“Actually, I’m a high-functioning alcoholic. I do my best work when I have a little liquor in me.”

“And that’s supposed to make me hand over the keys to the aircraft?” Cash questioned.

“There are no keys.”

“It was an expression, jackass. So, you want to run away from this woman. That’s the big secret?”

I shrugged, not willing to admit just how much she had me tangled up in knots at the moment. “Whatever. It’s not much of a secret. I just don’t need a complication like her in my life. I want to fuck her, not marry her.”

Cash sighed, tossing a file my way. “That’s the job. If you fuck it up, I’ll pull your license myself.”

“Wait, that’s it?” Fox snapped. “After the lies he told—” He pressed his fist to his mouth and his eyes closed as he struggled to gain control. After a moment, he spoke again. “After all the lies he’s told, you’re going to let him go on the mission?”

“He’s a pathetic liar. That doesn’t make him a liability.”

“And what about me? After you learned about my childhood, you kept me locked up here. You didn’t want to let me out!”

“Yes, but you were psychotic. There’s a difference.”

“And now?”

He widened his eyes at Fox. “I don’t know what this is,” he said, waving his hand up and down Fox’s body. “Too many hormones. Go off those and you probably won’t cry anymore.”

Fox’s jaw dropped in shock. “Who told?”