49. The Ferrier

Chapter 49

The Ferrier

F rom the moment I met her, Katrin had burned with the fury of a wildfire. Life—or Fate, it would seem—had beaten her down, but still, she had fought. She had raged.

That fire was gone now, snuffed out by grief and her own impending doom. I couldn't stand to see her light dimmed, to watch the vibrant woman be reduced to ashes.

We journeyed to the manor in somber silence. Everything I thought to say failed to articulate the despair I felt for Katrin. Nothing would ease the hurt that weighed down her shoulders and hollowed her chest. And so, the quiet stretched until it was all that lay between us, a chasm I longed to bridge.

Keeping the reins in one hand, I reached between us to intertwine our fingers. Her hand remained limp in mine, but she didn't pull away.

It was near dawn when we returned to Tyr Anigh, and still, she had not spoken. I kept hold of her hand as we reached the foyer, reluctant to let go even as she made to head upstairs. The resistance gave her pause, and she glanced down at our conjoined hands. Finally, she lifted red-rimmed eyes to me and voiced the question that had likely plagued her from the moment she saw her father's spirit.

"Do you think I did it?"

"No." The word was quick and sure. I would be confident if she could not.

She turned away as tears fell anew. I pulled her back toward me, wrapping her in my arms. Though she did not resist, her body did not immediately melt into mine as it usually did. She pressed her face into my shoulder, trembling from the tension that held her rigid. I willed my strength to her. If only I had the ability to take away pain, I would fix the broken parts of us.

"No," I said again, more firmly this time. "Fate is a tangled web of possibilities. One can get lost following the threads of human will. Your father died because he'd reached the end of his own thread, something that would have happened regardless of your actions."

"Fuck, Fate," she growled. "I've half a mind to cut her thread."

"Bold words." Though they lost the heat of their fire to my shirtsleeve.

She pulled back, not out of reach, but far enough to lift her face to mine. "I'm just so angry and so tired" Her fists clenched at her sides.

"I know, Kat."

Like a marionette whose strings had been cut, she collapsed. I gathered her to me, willing to take on whatever burdens she would share. "What do you want to do?"

She shook her head. "I don't know what to do."

"Then pack your things. We'll leave. We'll join Sam and recruit allies to our cause. There are others who would stand against him. We can fight this. I'm prepared to fight, to flee, to stay. Anything for you." My heart raced as I gave voice to my plan. I showed my cards and held my breath that she would do the same.

"To what end? What are we fighting for anymore? I look in the mirror, and I don't even recognize myself. The life I thought I wanted is…" She trailed off, eyes uncertain as she fought the truth that was in her soul.

"Is what?" I asked.

"Inconsequential."

The word was the whisper of flint on steel, igniting the flame of hope in my chest. She turned her face. With a gentleness that belied the fire raging within me, I brushed away her falling tears.

"Why?" I asked, drawing her eyes back to mine. "Why, Kat?"

She shuddered as she inhaled. "Because I have lived more in The Between with you than I ever did in the world of the living. I'm certain I will never fit in again if I go back home, and I don't think I want to." She swallowed. "Go home, that is."

The fire in my chest blazed hotter than a thousand suns. "Then stay." I gripped her hands in mine, all but choking on the hope that burned inside me.

As though blinded by that fire, she ducked her chin. "What about Behryn?"

"We'll figure something out. There's time. He can't touch you, remember?"

"But my mother—"

"We can fetch her tonight, bring her back with us."

Slowly, she lifted her eyes to mine. Something flickered in their dark depths, but I forgot it in an instant as she whispered one word. "Alright."

"Yes?" I asked.

She laughed, and it was the most magical sound in all the worlds. "Yes."

I brought my forehead to hers, closing my eyes as our breaths mingled. "Say you'll stay with me."

Her lips grazed mine, and I went taut as a bowstring. "I'll stay with you."

She'd spoken the words against my mouth. I felt the upward tilt of her lips as she smiled, and it broke down every one of my walls. My answering kiss was punishing. I pressed her to me and moaned as her fingers threaded through my hair. When she tugged me closer, I slid my arms over the swell of her hips and hauled her against me. I swallowed her gasp, plunging my tongue between her parted lips as her legs wrapped around me.

Darkness surrounded us. The shadows felt like ice to my fevered skin. They tempered my heat enough that I pulled my head from Katrin's as they cleared. Whether acting of their own accord or anticipating some unspoken order, they'd brought us to my bed chamber. My body throbbed with need, but I looked at Katrin's flushed skin and swollen eyes and knew this was not what she needed today.

I carried her to the bed, laying her reverently atop the blankets. She watched me, capturing one swollen lip between her teeth. It would be so easy to climb on top of her, to press my hardness to her softness and watch her writhe in pleasure, to be the reason her breath hitched.

My hands traced the length of her legs, removing her shoes and tossing them aside. Finally, I stepped from my own boots and crawled into the bed beside her. She rolled into me, fitting her curves against my side. My arm snaked beneath her, and I held her tightly, overwhelmed by the sudden fear that she would disappear in the coming day, banished by the sun like a shadow that had only appeared to be a woman to a lonely, unstable mind.

Dread coiled in my stomach, but I pushed it aside. If our time was limited as Fate had said, I would not sully it with dark thoughts. I closed my eyes and surrendered to the welcome respite of sleep.