Chapter 15

15

E dina ran up to the door and tried to pull the handle down, but it was stuck, and no matter how hard she pushed, it would not budge.

"Let me in, Aidan!" she yelled angrily as she banged the flat of her hand on the door panels. "Please, we must talk!"

She waited for a moment, but there was utter silence from the other side of the door, and after a moment she tried again, but the result this time was no better.

Her heart softened with pity, at the same time as she became absolutely furious with herself.

I should not have done this, she thought. She stepped back to the door again and put her mouth to the keyhole.

"Aidan, forgive me, please," she said sadly. "I behaved badly in telling you, but I believed you must know. Please talk to me."

Silence.

However, he had underestimated Edina's determination. She would stay there all day if she had to.

Despite her predicament, she sat down on the floor with her back to the wall. Her body was shaking, and she tried to control her breathing and calm her nerves. Lewis was dead, and Aidan was getting married. She was to be left all alone.

As panic threatened to consume her whole, she forced her mind to recall a happy memory. Tears escaped her eyes anew as she remembered another escapade from their childhood. This one had convinced her that she might have been born in a girl's body, but she was as tough and stubborn as any boy.

They had gone swimming in the loch. It was a favourite pastime of theirs in the summer when the water temperature was just about bearable. However, it was the middle of March, and their adventure had only come about because Edina had suggested it.

"Wait till June," Lewis, the sensible one, had proposed. "It is far too cold."

"Scared?" Aidan asked, raising an eyebrow.

That was akin to a red rag to a bull. With both Edina and Aidan ganging up on him, Lewis could not possibly refuse to go along with her hare-brained plan. They managed to escape from the castle without a guard and made their way downhill to the loch, where they stopped on the shore.

Edina wore an old petticoat to swim in, and the boys wore tattered old breeches. They all looked at each other, then Edina shouted, "One, two, three—go!"

There was a spectacular splash as they all hit the water at once, and a collective scream as the freezing water bit into their flesh. Lewis wanted to get out at once.

"This is madness!" he cried, wading towards the shore again.

"Coward!" Aidan and Edina shouted in unison.

Lewis turned to them furiously. "You can stay in there and die of cold," he said as he walked out of the water. "I would like to live a bit longer."

He dried himself off and changed into his now dirty but dry clothes.

Aidan turned to Edina, shaking with cold. "Go on, then," he said. His lips were turning blue, his teeth were chattering, but his eyes were twinkling. "Your turn to get out."

"I am not getting out till you do," she said stubbornly.

The cold was burning her, her teeth were rattling, and she was quaking uncontrollably, but she would not give up. She would not go first.

Aidan tried to hold out a bit longer, but could only last another two minutes, for which Edina was extremely grateful, since she was not sure how much longer she could have stayed in the icy water. Winning a dare was one thing, dying because of it was quite another! She followed him quickly, and after shouting a few jibes about how weak boys were, she ran up the hill to the castle.

There they were roundly scolded by their parents and each of them was sent for a hot bath. They appeared for dinner looking quite unrepentant, even though they were made to apologise and promise never to do such a thing again.

Of course, they all swore they would never be so naughty again—until the next time.

Edina's backside was sore from sitting on the hard floor, but she was determined to wait for as long as was necessary before she gave up. Her tummy was beginning to rumble, but fortunately, she had been gifted with a superlative amount of willpower. Half an hour later, however, she was beginning to feel weak, and decided to rap on the door one last time before admitting defeat. She had distracted herself with funny memories from her childhood for most of the time, but reality was marching back.

"Aidan!" she yelled. "Aidan! Come out of there. Please. I am so sorry. We both loved him. Please come out and let us comfort each other."

However, there was still a deafening silence from inside the room, and Edina decided to give up. She had been beaten, at least for the time being.

Just then, she heard heavy footsteps coming along the passage, and she turned around to see Laird Findlay marching towards her, looking furious.

"What are you doing here?" he asked rudely.

His anger fired Edina's own.

"Am I not allowed to be here, M'Laird?" she asked him frostily, glaring at him.

The Laird glared at her but said nothing. Instead, he turned his attention to the door, rattling the handle as Edina had done, but it stayed firmly shut.

"He has wedged something under the handle, I think," she said, trying to be helpful.

The Laird turned to give her a venomous look.

"Did I ask you to speak?" he barked. "Go back to your orphans and mind your own business!"

Edina was fuming. If he had been anyone else, she would have fired back at him and given him a piece of her mind, but she could not disrespect the Laird. She and her parents needed a roof over their heads, after all. Besides, he was usually a very pleasant person, and this was extremely odd behaviour on his part. She hurried away, leaving Aidan to his fate.

As soon as Edina passed out of sight, the Laird clenched his hand into a fist and smashed it into the door so hard that it shuddered on its hinges.

"Get out here, or I will break the door down!" he yelled furiously.

"Why do you not just use the keys like everyone else?" came Aidan's sarcastic voice from inside the room. "Or perhaps you should try saying ‘please,' Father. You will be amazed at how many doors that little word opens."

"Do not speak to me like that," the Laird roared.

"Then I will not speak to you at all, Father," his son's voice retorted.

There was silence. Inside the room, Aidan had been processing what Edina had told him. His brother? Dead? He could hardly believe it, yet now it all made sense. He had not actually seen him since he left for the sanatorium. Apparently there was an unusually strong tide that night, and he had to leave quickly to catch his boat for whichever destination the Laird was sending his eldest son to. That was the last time Aidan had seen his brother.

His heart was broken. Lewis had been his friend, his confidant, his playmate—his everything. He had also been the obedient one who followed his father's orders and respected his decisions, whereas Aidan was the wayward one who questioned everything.

Aidan's grief now turned to anger. How could his parents have let him labour under this misapprehension for all this time? Why had they not told him? He could hardly believe they had been so cruel.

The thought of never seeing his funny, mischievous brother again was so difficult to bear that he could not quite believe it. Previously, when he had come to Lewis's room he had almost expected him to walk through the door at any moment with a big grin on his face, but now he knew that would never happen. Then he realised that he had suspected the truth all along; deep in his heart he had actually known it, but it had been too painful to acknowledge.

Why had Edina told him the truth? How had she found out? Then he realised that she thought he knew the truth already. But who could have told her? That was when he heard his father's gruff voice at the door, and a wave of hatred swept over him. The door almost caved in with the force of the blows he was raining on it, but Aidan could not bear to open it.

Every one of the Laird's words was barked in his most commanding, arrogant voice, and eventually Aidan decided to let him in. He eased the chair quietly away from the door—his father was making so much noise, he could not hear him anyway.

The next time Laird Findlay hammered the door, Aidan turned the handle and let it open by itself. The Laird's momentum sent him hurtling through it, and he stumbled forward and fell on the floor with a cry of pain and fright.

Aidan hauled him to his feet, then looked into his face.

"Why did you not tell me Lewis was dead?" he growled. "All this time I have been hoping and longing to see him again, and you knew he was gone all this time!"

"To protect you," his father said, as Aidan let him back away. "If it became known that your brother had died a drunk, it would not only have brought shame on the family, but it would have ruined your prospects of a good marriage."

"There will be no marriage!" Aidan roared, grabbing the front of his father's shirt and pulling him closer. "Tear up the contracts! I refuse, and if you want me to marry Fenella Anderson, you will have to drag me to the church! I love Edina and I will marry her or no one!"

Laird Findlay pushed his son away, then laughed cynically.

"I knew it," he said. "I knew there was something between you two. Now, I wonder what Lewis would say if I had arranged a marriage for him. But you know the answer to that, Aidan. He would have obeyed me without question, and if he heard that you had disobeyed me, he would have been desperately disappointed in you. Is that not right, Aidan?"

Aidan had to admit that his father was right. Lewis had been steadfastly loyal to his father and his family, and would have done his father's will, no matter whether he liked the prospect or not.

The Laird went on, "can you imagine the damage it would do to the relationship between the Andersons and us? One day, you will be the Laird of this castle, and that means you have the responsibility of ensuring the well-being of everyone on the estate.

Imagine that clan turning against us—at best, they would not support us in any future disputes. At worst, they could take up arms against us. Do you want to be responsible for that?

Fenella is the daughter of a strong clan leader, and has been brought up to understand what is expected of her. Having her by your side would strengthen the bond between our families and make such conflicts much less likely."

His father's gaze softened slightly, something like pity shining in his eyes.

"You are the only hope I've left, Son. You are my only child. Do not disappoint me."

Aidan nodded.

"Yes," he said sadly. "Very well, Father, I will marry Fenella. But if I do so, can you leave Edina's family out of the whole matter? And can you give me just one day with her to explain everything?"

The Laird looked at his son with a level gaze, then he nodded. Aidan had just made one of the biggest sacrifices of his life. The least he could do was give a little in return.

"You may have a few hours with Edina to break the news to her and say goodbye," he said. "In private. And Edina will have to leave us, because we cannot have your wife and her living under the same roof."

Aidan nodded slowly. His father was not being cruel; he was right, even though he felt as though a knife had stabbed him through the heart. He could not imagine his home without her in it.

Aidan found Edina in the library. She looked up and an expression of apprehension crossed her face until he smiled, then she did likewise. She was sitting in a comfortable chair, and he drew her to her feet and into his arms.

Edina closed her eyes and let out a long sigh of contentment, and for a moment, neither said anything. Aidan broke the silence.

"Edina, you will have to leave. I am so sorry. I wish it could be otherwise, but my future bride will be visiting the castle frequently and?—"

"Aidan," Edina said quietly. "I understand. If you want time to process the news?—"

"We have one night together, my love." Despite the circumstances, he could hardly keep the longing out of his voice. "Can we make the most of it, and leave the past behind?"

"Oh, yes!" Edina breathed, her eyes shining. "I would love that."

Aidan took her hand and led her along the passage to his current chamber, and they stepped inside. As soon as the door closed behind them, they fell into a tight embrace, and Aidan groaned with pleasure as he cupped one of Edina's ample breasts in his big hand.

"Why do you have to be so lovely when I have to lose you?" he whispered.

"We have tonight and tomorrow to make memories," Edina replied.

She looked around the room, which was a little like Aidan himself. There were no greys or browns here. The rugs on the floor were woven in bright jewel colours, and the curtains and bed clothes were made of deep crimson linen.

All the furniture was crafted in bright glossy mahogany, as opposed to the dark ebony she had seen in the chambers and offices of other men. There were even a few bronze vases containing the last of the autumn wildflowers on the tables.

Around the walls she saw many excellent paintings of local landscapes and a few portraits, although she did not know the identities of the subjects. It was not an ostentatious room, but neither was it drab, and she liked it at once.

Edina knew she could be happy here, but she put the thought out of her mind at once. This was an oasis of happiness in a sea of—what? Misery? No, there had to be happiness without Aidan. She knew there was somewhere, although at the moment it was hard to think about.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the delicious brush of his lips on the sensitive nape of her neck. Edina shivered and giggled, then she felt Aidan's dexterous fingers working on the laces at the back of her dress. Eventually, it was undone, and he pulled the dress from her shoulders to let it fall on the floor. He undressed while she worked on her corset and chemise.

At last, they were standing naked in front of each other, and once more they marvelled at the sight of their bodies before Aidan swept Edina into his arms and laid her on the bed. He was just about to lie down beside her when she smiled at him mischievously.

"Do you know what book I have been reading these days?" she asked.

"No, and I hardly think we should be talking about books at a time like this!" Aidan was impatient. He wanted—needed—to be inside her.

"It was a kind of instruction book," she told him. "About how two people could give each other the most pleasure in bed."

"Ah! That kind of book," Aidan grinned. "And what did you learn?"

"This."

She took hold of his hard shaft and closed her fingers around it, making it even harder in response to her touch. He groaned, then gasped as Edina's hand worked up and down the column of his manhood. It was glorious, but presently it became sublime when she took him in her mouth and closed her lips around him. Aidan cried out, unable to stop himself.

A few seconds later, Edina stopped and looked up at him.

"Don't stop," he whispered desperately.

Edina resumed her ministrations, licking, sucking and scraping him with her teeth until he suddenly jerked and let out a long moan. She let go of him then, and he spilled his seed on her chest.

Aidan took a few moments to recover, then bent over her, his hands on either side of her shoulders.

"You wicked woman!" he said, grinning at her. Edina laughed and snuggled into his body again.

After a short while of lying silently in each other's arms, they made love again and again into the night.