Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

HARPER

“ H arper, is there anything we can do for you?” Chase meekly says, as if I’m disabled and I need help.

“I’m not sick, Chase.”

Brooke talks next, “He didn’t mean it like that, Harps. We just—I think we’re all feeling a little useless and unsure how to help you.”

I nod slowly. “I know, I just need some time.”

I’m finding it hard to look at her. So much has happened since the beach. I used to think Nate, she, and I would be best friends for life, but now I’m struggling to see our friendship at all. She lied to me—she knew what was going on, but she didn’t tell me.

But she did.

A little voice says in my head, she tried to warn me about Kyle. She told me the boys were worried, and I didn’t listen. The truth is I felt us drifting apart. The day she left us, I broke. I had just seen my friend murdered and then she went AWOL. I was left on my own to deal with everything and not one of them was there for me. Instead, they kept their secrets and continued to make me feel like I was falling.

Chase gets up and I flinch, the panic setting it.

“I was just going to sit next to you.”

I shake my head, “I don’t want that, I need my space—I can’t.”

He sits back down, looking a little hurt but nodding, “It’s okay, I’ll stay here.”

Brooke looks at him helplessly.

“Have you heard from Nate since he…erm…saved me?”

Chase shakes his head. “I know Asher spoke to him yesterday and he usually checks in with us when he can.”

“You need to get him out, Chase. Kyle knew him.”

Brooke looks panicked suddenly. “Chase, he was at the house when Harper was there…if Kyle saw him…”

“Then he would be dead, Brooke. He would never have had a chance to save her.”

“Wait…he was there? When I was…he didn’t know?”

Chase runs his hand through his hair, looking unsure of himself.

“Did he know I was there, Chase?”

“No, he didn’t know it was you.”

“But he knew there was a girl there… He heard me?” Tears well in my eyes as the realization dawns on me. “He didn’t do anything…he knew what was happening, and he didn’t do anything?”

“Harper, he didn’t know it was you. He phoned us and told us that Deacon had taken a girl, that he had to drop her off at her boyfriend’s house after they were done, that the guy had got in the way, and they were teaching him a lesson. He phoned us to tell us.”

“You thought it was Brooke, didn’t you?”

He nods, “I phoned her, but she was at home.”

“But none of you thought it was me. I didn’t enter anyone’s mind to check. You were suspicious of Kyle, and you knew what you guys were doing and thought they were suspicious enough that you called your girlfriend, but you didn’t even try to see if I was okay?”

“Harper, you and Asher weren’t together. We thought you were safe.”

“You thought I was safe? You knew about Kyle. You knew he lied to me, and you thought I was safe.”

“Asher got your voicemail, but it was too late. We realized you were missing, and we found out when we talked to Kyle that you were taken. We didn’t know, Harps.” Brooke looks at me guiltily and I laugh through the tears, “Even if we knew, Harper, it would have been too late.”

“That’s the problem, isn’t it? I’m always an afterthought now that you two are together, right? I mean, now you have what you’ve always wanted you don’t need me anymore.” I stand up and Brooke does the same, walking toward me.

“Harper, it’s not like that.”

I reach out and slap her, the force of it making her head turn. Her hand immediately goes to her cheek as she looks at me in shock.

Chase jumps up, moving Brooke out of the way and looking at me.

“Harper! Stop.”

“Or what, Chase? You gonna beat the shit out of me like you did Kyle for touching your girlfriend?”

He takes a visible step back as if I slapped him too.

“Harper, I would never hurt you.”

I look at Brooke, at Chase and one thing is clear. “I told you before we were done, Brooke, what happened to me doesn’t change things between us. As far as I’m concerned I don’t want anything to do with you, with either of you.”

“You don’t mean that,” she says quietly, reaching out to me. I pull my hand back quickly.

“If you come near me again, I swear to fucking god, Brooke, I’ll…”

“What the fuck did we just walk into?” Asher looks at the three of us, squaring up to each other. Brooke’s red cheek, Chase’s clenched fist at his side, and he can see how angry I am.

“I think you need to leave now,” I say.

“Harper, don’t do this.” Chase looks at me, “We just wanna help you.”

Asher takes a few paces until he is standing by my side.

“She’s right, I don’t care what the fuck happened, but you need to leave right now,”

“You don’t understand, Asher,” Brooke says, trying to convince him otherwise.

“I don’t need to. If she wants you gone, then you’re gone. This is her house while she’s here. Chase, take her and go.”

Chase takes Brooke’s arm, “Baby, let’s just leave. We can come back when everyone’s calmed down.”

Brooke looks heartbroken, but I don’t care. The biggest betrayal of all came from her. She didn’t tell me about anything that was going on, she didn’t help me through Nate’s death, she didn’t try to stop any of it. They’re so wrapped up in each other they can’t see anything else.

“I love you, Harps. That’s not gonna change,” she whispers.

“Get the fuck out,” I say calmly.

They both look down and begin to walk out the house.

Jax stands there awkwardly as Asher takes my hand, inspecting me like he’s trying to see into my mind.

“What happened?” he whispers like he is scared to be too loud in case I bolt.

“Nothing that matters. I told Brooke I was done with her before—nothing’s changed.”

“Angel, she’s your best friend.”

“Not anymore.”

“Why?”

“Because I understand why you didn’t tell me, you either, Jax. I wasn’t your friend, not really. I was Nate’s and you were Chase’s. I get why you pushed me away. I don’t like how you went about it—I wished you had let me in but that was your choice, but she was my friend. She left me to deal with Nate, she left me to deal with Kyle, and she lied to me. That’s not a friend.”

“Harper.” Jax walks over to me and Asher feels my hand squeeze his in response to someone getting close.

“Easy, Jax,” he says, and Jax pauses. He offers me a smile, nodding.

“I’m sorry. I can’t help it.”

“I’m not offended, Harper. After what you’ve gone through, I’m so proud that you’re still standing. That you can even have us in the same room as you. If I ever do anything that makes you uncomfortable, you can be honest with me, and if there’s anything I can do to help you feel more comfortable around me, you can tell me that too.”

“Thank you,” I whisper. Honestly, Jax is genuinely one of the best guys I know. He’s the kind girls dream about.

“Are you okay for me to be here right now?”

I nod.

“We all let you down Harper, that’s the truth of it. We all had a hand in what happened to you and I’m not just talking about what you told us earlier but before that. None of us were honest and we put B in an awkward position. She just followed what we always did. Pushed anyone we cared about away. It comes second nature to us. I understand you’re angry at her, at all of us and it’s rightfully deserved. We can get blinded by this and sometimes we don’t take enough time to think things through. I don’t know if this means anything right now or if it ever will. But I am sorry for the hand I played in it all.”

I wipe the tears from my face that are now uncontrollably streaming, “I don’t know how to do this anymore.”

“Do what, baby?” Asher asks.

“Anything…be me…be normal… I’m so angry at everyone—I can’t help it. I feel like everyone lied to me and that’s why I’m here. I want to not be afraid, to not be so frightened every time someone moves. Be able to just live instead of feeling like I’m fighting to breathe every second of the day.”

He pulls me close to him and I just break down. I sob into his shirt as I fall into him, and we both collapse on the floor together. With him rocking me and caressing my hair, while just letting me get everything out.