Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

H e'd never been more relieved to receive a call from dispatch.

They'd fucked up.

Why after all these years had he finally given in to his body's demands and taken her? He knew just how badly he was fucking up when he did it. She was his best friend, the only woman that he'd ever loved, and he'd just ruined everything.

Every time he'd toyed with the idea of fucking her, he'd always thought that he'd work her out of his system. It was just leftover hormones from when he was a kid and first noticed her, he'd always told himself, but he'd been wrong. If anything, having her just made it worse.

He wanted her, now, tomorrow, and always. The way his body felt let him know that it was going to be a long time before he grew tired of her. That was a problem because he didn't know if could give her up. He needed her in his life and as great as the sex was, and there was no question in his mind that it was the best sex he'd ever had, he'd gladly give up the chance to touch her again if it meant that she wouldn't leave him.

His chest tightened just thinking about it. He needed her in his life, always. Their friendship came first, and he wasn't sure if they'd survive taking the next step, but thankfully, dispatch gave them a chance to step back and focus on something else at the moment. It also gave him a chance to figure out if he could do this.

What if he fucked up and hurt her? He'd never cheat on her, but he knew that he would piss her off. With sex involved, that might complicate things and she would no longer come to him when she needed him. He sure as hell didn't want her confiding in some other guy.

"MVA," Joe said as she hung the phone back up.

She ripped the piece of paper she wrote the call details off her small notebook and went to stuff it in her pants pocket only to remember that she wasn't wearing pants. He loved that beautiful blush that crept up her face as she turned to quickly get dressed.

His Joe was shy after sex? He would never have guessed, Eric thought with a chuckle. He had to wonder what else he didn't know about her. The idea that there was still something new to discover about her intrigued him. Even after twenty years, she was still a mystery to him.

He finished tucking in his shirt and headed for the door, pausing only long enough to grab the paper out of her hand and to give her a quick kiss that seemed to leave her momentarily stunned. She looked so damn cute standing there, adorably confused, but they had a job to do.

"We'll talk later, okay?"

She looked up at him. "All I care about is that this doesn't change anything, Eric. I don't want to lose you."

He gently cupped her cheek, brushing her swollen lips with his thumb. "You'll never lose me, Joe. No matter what we decide to do about this, I'll always be there for you," Eric promised as brushed his lips against hers one last time before he took her hand in his and gave it a small tug as he headed for the door.

"That's gotta be some kind of record," Joe said, fighting back a yawn as Eric pulled the ambulance in behind the small line of ambulances and fire department SUVs waiting to get gas and threw the truck in park.

It had been a very long, weird night and she was more than ready for it to be over. The only thing she wasn't ready for was the "talk" they needed to have. She knew they had to talk about what happened between them, but she just wasn't sure what she was supposed to say.

The sex had been incredible and, surprisingly, she didn't regret it, which was kind of stupid since it could very well be the beginning of the end of their friendship. What were they supposed to do now?

They had sex one time and she didn't exactly equate that with a declaration of love. She knew he loved her and would never hurt her, at least not on purpose, but this was Eric that she was talking about here. There was no arguing that he was the best friend she'd ever had and she would never hurt him or say anything unkind about him, but she couldn't lie.

Eric was a lousy boyfriend.

He treated all the women he dated the same, barely gave them the time of day, and barely remembered their names. On more than one occasion, she had to remind him what his date's name was. It never took much for him to get bored and move on.

She'd rather have Eric as a best friend than a boyfriend any day of the week. The best friend she could have for the rest of her life, but Eric as a boyfriend? He'd be hauling ass in less than a week.

Part of her thought that he'd treat her differently, but that would only make her an idiot. The two of them had been stepping around falling into bed for years and it finally happened. Dwelling on it would only cause her heartache that neither one of them needed. She loved him, couldn't live without him, but knew that if she had any hopes of keeping him that she had to bite back her feelings and laugh this whole thing off when they had their "talk."

"Why don't you head out? I've got this," Eric said, taking her by surprise because not once in twelve years had he ever even suggested putting the truck away on his own.

She opened her mouth to say no but then thought better of it. He obviously didn't want to have this talk and neither did she. Common sense said that they really shouldn't put this off, but if he was willing to be a coward about it, then so was she.

"Are you sure?" Joe asked, her hand hovering over the door handle.

"Yeah, go ahead," Eric said, not bothering to look up from his clipboard.

She climbed out, feeling awkward for the first time since they'd met. When he still didn't look at her or say anything, she shrugged it off and shut the door.

The next thirty minutes were a blur as she hauled ass to grab her bedding, punch out, and drive home. The entire time she was afraid that he was going to change his mind and wanted to have the talk that she was so not ready to have. By the time she pulled into her driveway, she was a nervous wreck. It didn't get any better once she walked into her house.

Every few minutes, she'd look up from what she was doing, half-expecting Eric to come sauntering in. When he didn't show up an hour later, she was relieved and admittedly a little disappointed. She was glad that they weren't going to have the talk just yet, but she wanted to see him.

She was an idiot, Joe decided as she headed to her room. She quickly got undressed and forced herself to take a long, hot shower when all she wanted to do was wait by the phone like some lovesick teenage girl. This was bad, this was very bad. If she was going to convince Eric that she could get over what happened between them, then she couldn't go around acting like this.

He was her best friend and that's all, Joe reminded herself. That much was made clear when she was done with her shower and he still wasn't there. There was no doubt in her mind that if he wanted to be here, then he'd already be here.

Fine, Joe thought, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge before heading to her room. If that's what he wanted, then that was more than fine with her. She could pretend that she hadn't just had the best sex of her life or that she was dying to touch him again. She was a big girl. She could handle a little rejection. She closed the blinds to darken the room and flopped down on the bed more than ready to put this day behind her.

She was going to kick his ass, Joe decided three hours later when she couldn't fall asleep or get him out of her mind. If he didn't want anything to do with her, then he could have damn well said so instead of giving her the cold shoulder and treating her like every other woman in his life. She was his best friend and deserved a hell of a lot better than this.

Furious, Joe climbed out of bed and grabbed her keys as she headed for the front door while she thought of all the ways that she was going to make him pay for this bullshit. After she was done with him, he was going to wish-

"Where the hell are you going?" Eric demanded, startling her when she ripped open her front door, but not enough to distract her from her purpose.

"To kick your ass," she admitted.

That sexy grin of his did not affect her. It didn't. She also didn't care that he looked as exhausted as she felt or that she was happy to see him. Nothing mattered except that he'd pissed her off and spent the remainder of their shift acting like nothing happened. Then, he'd brushed her off so that he wouldn't have to deal with her.

Well, now he was going to deal with her because she was so ready to kick his-

Her thoughts sort of drifted off when he grabbed the back of her neck and leaned down and kissed every last coherent thought out of her head. She was barely aware of him guiding her back inside the house or when he shut the door behind him. All of her attention at the moment was on his mouth and the way that he was kissing her.

When he finally stopped kissing her, and she wanted to kick his ass for that alone, her mind began to clear and she remembered that she was angry with him. Who the hell did he think he was treating her like that? Joe wondered as she pushed him away.

"I take it you're mad at me," Eric said with a heavy sigh.

"You could say that," Joe snapped, crossing her arms beneath her breasts as she glared at him and waited for the typical Eric response to any form of female drama. When he didn't give her some lame ass excuse like he was just giving her time to calm down with a promise to call later, she was taken by surprise.

"Look," Eric said, running both of his hands down his face in frustration, "I know I shouldn't be here and that I should be giving you some time to sort through things, but I couldn't stay away."

Her eyes narrowed on him. "You were giving me time?" Joe asked, not even bothering to hide the disbelief in her tone.

"Well, that and I got held over for two hours after you left," he said, sounding miserable as he sat down on the arm of her couch.

"Why did you get held over?" Joe asked, inwardly wincing when she realized that he must have covered for her. Although it wasn't a rule at their station, if dispatch was looking for them and there was only one of them there putting away the truck, they got pretty pissed.

"I had to do a favor for Bill."

"What favor?" Joe asked, leaning back against the wall to put some space between them. It was a little unnerving that she couldn't think straight with him in the room. All she could think about was running her fingers through his hair and over his body.

What the hell was wrong with her?

She should be focused on kicking his ass, but she couldn't stay mad at him. It was a weakness that she really needed to work on, but later.

"He asked me to go over all of the equipment with Greg," Eric said around a yawn.

"Greg?" Joe asked, surprised that he was still around. He was on a truck for two weeks straight and not one of those shifts ended up counting towards his training time.

He gave her a firm nod that told her that he wasn't happy about it. "It seems that he has an uncle on the City Council who called in a favor. He's claiming that Greg was just nervous and would like Bill to give him another chance, so guess who's getting a third rider for the next two weeks," Eric said dryly.

"Us," she said, biting back a groan.

"Mmmhmm," Eric murmured absently as he ran his eyes over her. "And the best part is that somehow the little bastard is even cockier."

This time, she didn't bother biting back her groan. She knew that Greg was going to try saving face by acting like it was no big deal, but that was going to make their jobs a hell of a lot harder. It also meant that he was probably going to ignore whatever they tried to show him. It should be a fun two weeks, Joe thought, biting back a sigh.

"You were coming to kick my ass?" Eric asked, drawing her attention back to their problem.

"Maybe," Joe said, shrugging it off like it was nothing.

"In only my old tee-shirt and panties?" Eric asked, running hungry eyes over her. She felt a blush make its way up her neck when she realized that she'd been seconds away from storming outside in his old tee-shirt right around the time that she remembered that she wasn't wearing any panties.

Something in her expression must have given her away because that sexy bad boy grin that she loved so much suddenly graced his face. He crooked a finger in her direction. "Come here."

She just barely stopped herself from doing just that. With a snort, Joe shook her head. "I'm not your bitch. You come here," she said, stubbornly crossing her arms over her chest even tighter, mostly to hide her nerves.

This was such a bad idea. Was she really thinking about tackling him to the ground so that she could rip his clothes off and run her hands over him before she had her dirty little way with him?

Yes, she was.

Before she could rethink her plan, or add a few things here and there to prolong her enjoyment, Eric was pushing off the arm of the couch and was standing in front of her. He placed his forearm against the wall above her head as he leaned in.

"Are you wearing panties, Joe?" Eric asked in a seductive whisper that had her licking her lips as she reached up and ran her hands over his chest.

"Shouldn't we talk about this?" she asked, avoiding his question.

"About your panties?" Eric asked teasingly as he laid his other hand on her hip.

"No," Joe said, trying not to smile, "about what we're doing here. We need to talk, Eric."

"Okay," Eric said, slowly nodding as he leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose. "Well, first, I'm going to see if you're wearing any panties. Then, I'd thought we'd start living out every fantasy I've ever had about you, starting, of course, with the ones I had in high school. Then, I thought we'd make up a few together," he said, pressing a line of kisses to her mouth before he brushed his lips teasingly against hers.

"That's not what I meant," Joe said weakly even as she tilted her head to the side to give him better access to her neck as he licked and kissed his way down.

"You don't want to live out a few fantasies?" Eric asked against her neck as his hand slid from her hip, down her thigh until it went past the edge of her tee-shirt and then, slid beneath the tee-shirt. His hand moved up her thigh until it was once again resting on her bare hip.

Yes, she really did. In fact, she had about a hundred fantasies that she would love to live out with him. "We'll talk later," Joe said, gasping when his hand moved to her ass.