Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

" J erk," Joe muttered as she pulled her boots off and threw them at the wall. It made her feel a little better, but not by much. Hunting down Eric so that she could put him in a headlock would make her feel a hell of a lot better, she decided even as she pulled off her uniform shirt, leaving her in a tight baby blue tank top.

She climbed into bed only to climb back out seconds later when she decided it was too damn hot and she was too damn aggravated to try to sleep in her pants. She just wanted to sleep through the rest of her shift, go home, and take her anger out on cleaning her attic.

Twenty seconds after the light was shut off, she was curled up in bed and felt like crying. She hated fighting with Eric, absolutely hated it. There was a reason why she was so quick to forgive him because staying mad at him hurt. She still remembered when they were ten and she'd worked all day cleaning out Mrs. Pembroke's garage. By the end of the day, she'd been dirty, tired, sweaty, and five dollars richer. Excited that she finally had enough money for a new bike, well new to her anyway, she ran all the way home.

She'd hid her money in her shoe before she walked into the apartment they'd shared with her mother's boyfriend. After double-checking that the coast was clear, she'd dug the rest of her money out of the empty can of Comet that she'd cut the bottom off of, knowing that it was the last place that her mother would ever think to look.

Once she had all of her money, she'd raced out of the house and ran all the way to the church's thrift shop where she'd spotted a used, pink bike that morning. When she spotted the bike still outside the thrift store, she ran inside and bought it.

She'd been so excited to have her own bike. She didn't care that the tires were flat and the chain was rusted, the bike was hers. After deciding that Eric and Nathan just had to see her bike, she'd pushed it to their house, placed the bike against the garage and ran inside the house. She didn't stop searching until she found one of them. Without a word, she'd dragged Nathan away from his video game and back outside only to frown in confusion when she didn't see her bike anywhere.

The horrible sound of metal being bent drew her attention to the garbage truck in front of the house to find Eric walking towards them. Her eyes darted from Eric to the truck and back again before she launched herself at him. Ten minutes later, Alice had them each by the ear and demanded to know what happened. When she told her what Eric did, his expression became pained.

Even at ten, Eric thought it was his job to take care of her and it just about killed him to know that he did something to hurt her. After he'd explained that he thought it was junk that his father had left against the garage for him to bring to the curb, she forgave him. She was still upset about the bike, but she just couldn't stay mad him, knowing how upset he was over the whole thing.

Eric made it up to her. Three months later, he banged on her apartment door, interrupting her peanut butter sandwich dinner to drag her downstairs to show her the new bike he'd bought for her. He'd saved up his allowance, did extra chores around the house and even worked for the neighbors to save up enough money to buy her a bike. It had been the sweetest thing anyone ever did for her.

It was things like that that made it so difficult to stay mad at him. He screwed up a lot, but he always made it up to her. She knew that he never meant to hurt her even when he was being a jerk like now. He just wanted her safe and she got that, but she could take care of herself.

She was careful at work, followed her training, and never took chances, but that incident more than a week ago made him nervous and now, after twelve years on the job together, he was letting it get to him. They worked great together and she knew that all he needed was a little time before he remembered that. Until then, she'd have to put up with him being an asshole.

When the door opened, Joe tensed, waiting for the fight to continue. She didn't want to fight with him. She hated fighting with him. All she wanted to do was go back to the way things were before he said those things that hurt her and before he kissed her, robbing her of her sanity and made her wonder about all of those things that she had no business thinking about.

"Joe?" Eric said softly.

Instead of answering him, Joe closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep. It was the coward's way out, she knew that, but she wasn't sure how much more she could take. She was glad that he hadn't insisted on coming with her to New Hampshire this weekend. They both needed some time apart to think things over. If things didn't go back to the way they were before, then she was going to ask for a transfer to another station.

She thought about asking him to leave so that she could get some sleep. When she felt the bed dip and he curled his body around her seconds later, she felt like crying. She hated fighting with him, hated not being able to go to him when something was wrong and she hated feeling like a part of her was dying.

"I am so sorry, Joe," Eric whispered, gently pushing her hair away from her face. "I know I keep fucking up," he said, pressing a kiss against the back of her neck, "and that, by all rights, you should bitch-slap me, but I can't stand the thought of something happening to you."

His hand found its way to her panty clad hip and gave it a gentle squeeze. "It kills me to think of what could have happened that night, Joe," Eric explained softly as he pressed another kiss against her neck. "Do you have any idea how lost I would be without you?"

"You're my entire world, Joe," Eric said, pressing another kiss against her neck, this time lingering. "I don't know what I'd do without you," he admitted against her skin.

Worrying her lip between her teeth, Joe turned onto her back and reached up with her right hand to cup his jaw, loving the way the early morning stubble felt against her skin. "And what do you think I would do without you?"

His large, warm hand slid onto her stomach and began gently caressing her skin. "Everything would be okay. Nathan would take care of you, Joe," Eric promised as he pressed a kiss against her forehead.

"I don't need anyone to look out for me," Joe said, sick of this constant bullshit. When exactly did she become this pathetic in his eyes? It was really insulting. She was anything but weak and he damn well knew it.

Eric sighed heavily even as his hand continued to caress her stomach through her thin shirt. "Yes, you do."

"What is it going to take for you to realize that I can take care of myself?" Joe demanded, trying not to sound hurt and failing miserably. She didn't want to appear weak in his eyes. She wanted...

Hell, she didn't even know what she wanted, but she knew that she didn't want that. She didn't want him hanging around because he thought that she needed someone to take care of her.

"If I thought getting a boyfriend would get you to back off, I'd run out and get one," Joe said, not noticing the way his hand suddenly stilled on her stomach, "but we both know that wouldn't help since you become a complete jerk whenever I'm dating someone."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Eric asked tightly. This really shouldn't come as a shock since everyone knew that Eric developed a raging case of PMS when she was dating someone.

"What am I talking about? Are you serious?" Joe asked, feeling a muscle in his jaw clench tightly against her hand when he nodded firmly.

"How many of the guys that I dated have you beaten up?" Joe asked, arching an eyebrow as she dared him to lie.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Eric said, shifting to move away from her, but she wasn't having that. She turned into him, pressing her hands against his bare chest and threw a leg over his hip as she moved up, giving him no choice but to lie on his back as she straddled his waist.

She really couldn't help the smug little smile that played on her lips since she'd just proved that she was more than capable of taking care of herself. He would just have to suck it-

"Hey!" Joe gasped in surprise when she suddenly found herself pushed onto her back with him lying between her legs and her arms held down firmly by her head.

After a brief struggle that didn't improve her situation, Joe gave up with a sigh. "Just know that I could kick your ass at any moment, Eric. You're lucky I'm tired."

His amused chuckle was kind of insulting even if she did find it soothing. "I know. I'm counting my blessings right now," Eric said, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose as he settled himself more comfortably between her legs.

"Well?" Joe demanded, curious to see if he'd admit that he was an overbearing jerk sometimes.

"Well, what?"

"You're not going to admit that you don't trust me to take care of myself," Joe said, wondering if he was going to play it off like he usually did when she called him on it.

"You date assholes and losers," Eric said, shocking her.

Not that she wasn't well aware that her taste in men sucked, but he usually just shrugged it off like it was nothing when she mentioned them. He'd never acted like he didn't like the guys she dated even when she knew that he didn't like them. She also knew that he'd given more than one of them a reason to visit the emergency room.

"Why do you always act like you like them?"

"It makes it easier to keep an eye on you," Eric explained as he pressed another kiss against her forehead. "It's the same reason why you pretend to like the annoying women that I date," he said softly as he entwined their fingers together.

"They really are annoying," she murmured in agreement.

"I want you safe, Joe."

"I am safe," she said, wondering what it was going to take for him to see that.

"I hate being away from you and I know that if I keep pushing this that you're going to pull away from me, so for now, I'm going to drop it, but I'm really hoping that you end up liking dispatching more than working on the truck," Eric said, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips that shocked her, but what shocked her even more was her reaction.

When he cursed softly as he moved away from her, Joe leaned up and brushed her lips against his, unable to help herself. She knew that she shouldn't be doing this, but she couldn't help herself. Years of holding back, pretending that she didn't want him, need him, shattered with that first kiss last week and any hope of holding back what she felt for this man was gone.

This was probably going to wreck everything, but at the moment, she didn't care. She needed to hold him, to touch him, and be with him more than she needed her next breath. It wasn't fair that the one man she craved was the one she couldn't have. He was her best friend, the person she counted on, needed, and loved more than anyone on this earth and she was going to lose him over this.

His mouth crashed down on hers, forcing her head back onto the pillow as he devoured her mouth. When his tongue slid into her mouth and tangled with hers, she moaned. He released her hands as he kneeled between her legs, putting space between their chests. She cupped the back of his neck to keep his mouth right where she needed it, afraid that he was going to put a stop to this.

He reached between them and grabbed the hem of her shirt and yanked it up along with her sports bra until her breasts were bared. She let out a moan of pleasure when he cupped one of her breasts and gave it a gentle squeeze. When he ground his erection against her, she suckled his tongue.

She wrapped her arms around him, loving the combination of warm skin and solid muscle. Her hands slid down his back and beneath the waist of his pants and onto smooth muscle that flexed erotically with each shallow thrust.

"We shouldn't be doing this," Eric said, panting as he moved his mouth to her neck and reached between them to pull her damp panties to the side so that he could brush his fingertips teasingly over her slit.

"Yes, we should," Joe said breathlessly as he slid a finger deep inside of her.

"Yeah, we should," Eric said tightly as he struggled to undo his belt. When he couldn't get the belt off with one hand, he unzipped his pants. The sound of his zipper being pulled down in the dark room was one of the most erotic sounds she'd ever heard.

"We can't let this wreck what we have," Eric said, sounding desperate as he removed his finger and replaced it with the large tip of his erection.

"It changes nothing," Joe said, sliding her hands up his back to fist them in his hair and pull his mouth back to hers as he slammed into her.

She squeezed her eyes shut as she sucked in a sharp breath. Never in her life had she ever felt this full. She knew that he was large thanks to all those times they went skinny dipping, but this was incredible. He stretched her almost to the point of pain, but she wanted more.

As he moved, Joe grabbed the back of her knees and pulled her legs up and to the sides, opening herself up more for him. This time, when he slid back inside of her, he was buried to the root. He let out a growl of appreciation as he slowly swirled his hips in a way that had her whimpering and pleading against his mouth.

"Shhhh," Eric whispered quietly against her lips, reminding her that they weren't alone. They were surrounded by other bunkrooms and the break room was right down the hallway.

He pulled away to kiss his way to her ear. "Do you like that, Joe?" Eric asked, deepening his movements.

Beyond words now, Joe nodded as she licked her lips and moved her hips against his, desperate for more. If they got a call right now, she was pretty sure that she would die.

"You have no idea how many times I've imagined doing this to you," Eric whispered against her ear, his warm breath fanning her sensitive skin and sending a shiver throughout her body that caused her nipples to tighten impossibly further.

"Have you ever thought about me fucking you, Joe?"

"Yes!" she hissed quietly. She'd thought about him, from her first time to the last time. It was Eric's face she pictured when she had sex. He made her feel safe and loved and she needed that.

"If there wasn't a very real possibility that we'd be interrupted, I'd show you all those things I've imagined doing to you over the years," Eric promised before returning to her mouth.

She wrapped her arms around him as he quickened his thrusts, but when the bed began making the telltale sounds that would give them away, he slowed his pace once again. The kiss, on the other hand, was out of control. He didn't hold back and neither did she. She couldn't get enough of him. She loved the way he teased and dueled with her tongue.

It wasn't long before he was swallowing her screams and biting back his own. She felt him harden impossibly further before she felt him come inside of her. It was the first time she'd ever felt a man come inside of her and she couldn't believe how good it felt. She was even more surprised when it set off another orgasm.

"Shit," Eric groaned as he continued to thrust inside her until she stopped squeezing him and her legs dropped back onto the bed while they focused on catching their breath.

"What the hell are we going to do now?" Eric muttered against her neck as she wrapped her arms around his sweat-slicked back, wishing she had an answer.