Chapter Twenty

"How are you feeling, my dear?"

Martha closed her eyes and sank back against the pillows all the more. "I am still rather fatigued, Mama." She peeked out of one of her eyes, seeing her mother seating herself in a chair by the fireplace. "Has anyone come to call?"

Lady Hampshire shook her head. "No, they have heard that you became a little unwell last evening, of course, but I do not think anyone will come to call today. They will want to make sure that you are recovered before they do." She smiled as she reached into her pocket and pulled something out. "You have received a few letters and notes, however. It is good to see that, is it not? Clearly there are those within the ton who are still concerned for you." A slight frown flickered across Lady Hampshire's face. "I did think that your betrothed might come to call, though he did send you a note."

"I am sure that he would have come if he felt willing," Martha answered, pain slicing back through her again as she fought the urge to let all of her tears fall. "I will take the notes and read them if I might, Mama."

"Of course, so long as you have the energy." Her mother rose and set the notes at Martha's hand. "Do you wish to have another tea tray?"

Martha nodded, hoping that her mother might leave her in peace for a few minutes to read and, much to her relief, her mother did just that. "I think I shall join you for dinner, Mama," Martha called, just before Lady Hampshire quit the room. "I will be quite recovered then, I am sure."

Lady Hampshire paused at the door, then smiled. "Very well, so long as you are sure you are recovered enough to do so." Her smile faded. "It was most unlike you to become so unwell so quickly. I am still concerned for you."

"I am sure it was just fatigue," Martha answered, glad when her mother finally stepped out of the room. It meant that, as the door closed, Martha could let the tears come to her eyes and, after a moment, give them permission to fall to her cheeks.

Seeing Lord Granton hidden in the shadows with another lady had brought her a pain unlike anything she had ever experienced before. At first she had been confused, not knowing what it was that she had stumbled across, only for Lady Lamberton's words to break right across her heart and make her want to cry out. Right then and there, she had realised how much of a fool she had been in trusting Lord Granton's words. When he had kissed her, she had felt something grow within her heart – a trust and an affection twining together, to the point that she had been unable to deny her feelings. But now, all that he had said, all that he had promised her was nothing but a falsehood – and she was the one now who stepped back into the shadows instead of him.

"But what can I do?" Whispering to herself, Martha wiped at her eyes, glad that she had been able to rest rather than present herself to her parents as she had done every other morning. After seeing Lord Granton, Martha had found herself overcome with a weakness which had demanded a hasty return home. She had told her mother that she felt unwell and had been rushed home, separating her from the Marquess at once.

"Yet I cannot escape him for good, can I?" Martha wiped at her eyes again but the tears still came. Her vision blurring still, she reached for the first note, turning it over and trying to make out the seal. After a few moments – and recognising it as from Miss Stockton- Martha opened the note and read the few lines.

‘I do hope you are recovered. Write to me, my dear friend. I should very much like to see you. Something most extraordinary took place last evening, once you took your leave, though mayhap you have already heard of it. I hope you will be at the ball this evening. Yours affectionately, Anna.'

Martha frowned, not certain what it was her friend meant. What extraordinary thing had taken place last evening? She had not told Miss Stockton what it was that she had witnessed, had said nothing about the Marquess but only had said that she felt a little unwell. Therefore, Miss Stockton knew nothing about Martha's present sorrows otherwise she certainly would not have been encouraging her back into society. Though what was it that had taken place? What extraordinary thing did Miss Stockton believe Martha would have heard about?

With a sigh, Martha set aside the first letter and then picked up the second letter. Opening it, she smiled quietly as she read the letter from her sister, telling her all about her own situation and, at the end of it all, telling Martha how much she was looking forward to the upcoming wedding.

This made Martha's heart squeeze with pain all over again. There was no way for her to escape this engagement, not now. Her parents were insistent that she wed Lord Granton, her betrothed was just as determined – though Martha did not know why – and all that was left for her was to do as she was expected to do.

But what of Lord Billington?

Martha's eyes flared wide, her hands clutching at the letter from her sister. Lord Billington was not someone that she cared for and yes, she did not know him particularly well either, but surely he had to be better than Lord Granton!

"But if my mother and father are insistent upon my engagement to Lord Granton then what can be done?" Martha mused aloud, her gaze falling to the letter on her lap. She had one still unopened, the one from Lord Granton, but Martha had no intention of reading it. There was nothing that he could say that would bring her any sort of relief.

"However, Lord Billington might," she murmured, a sudden resolve coursing through her. She could be bold, could she not? Perhaps she might be able to encourage Lord Billington to consider an elopement! Or, if she could not do that, then would she be able to encourage him towards her in another way?

That thought made Martha's face burn with embarrassment. She did not want to be coy, to flirt with Lord Billington as she made it quite plain to him what it was she desired but if that was the only way to escape Lord Granton, then that was what she would do. To be caught in his arms would mean that her marriage would be to Lord Billington rather than Lord Granton.

Martha's eyes closed. But my heart still yearns for Lord Granton.

Tears came to her again but this time, she blinked them away. She was not about to let herself hold onto such foolishness and nor was she going to permit herself to cry over him again and again. Yes, her heart had flooded with affection – a strong affection – and as he had taken her in his arms, she had felt a huge surge of hope, of expectation and joy. That had all been shattered now, however, and Martha silently swore she would not let Lord Granton ever build such a thing in her again. Yes, her heart was still burning with affection for him and yes, the thought of his kiss sent her into spirals of happiness twined with regret, but she could not cling onto that. Marriage to Lord Granton would bring her nothing but pain and she had to find a way to be free of him forever.

***

"I am so glad you are recovered."

Martha slipped her arm through Miss Stockton's, her eyes searching the ballroom for any sign of Lord Billington or Lord Granton. One she wanted to draw close to but the other, she wanted desperately to avoid. Thankfully, the ball at Vauxhall Gardens was very busy indeed, so would be very easily able to hide herself away, should it be required of her.

"You are rather silent, however." Miss Stockton frowned gently. "Is there something the matter?"

"You must help me," Martha said, rather urgently. "Lord Granton is not who I believed him to be. You will call me foolish, no doubt, but you need not say it. I am already aware that it was the most ridiculous thing to believe that Lord Granton might truly care for me but in truth, I did. When he kissed me, I felt myself overflowing with affection for him, finding myself suddenly eager for our marriage, delighting in the conversation which came thereafter." Seeing Miss Stockton's wide eyes and confused look, Martha continued to explain. "Lord Granton took me to my father and together, we discussed a wedding date and the banns which needed to be called. We are now due to wed within the month."

"So what help do you need from me?" Miss Stockton asked, clearly a little uncertain as to what Martha meant. "If you are contented with him, if the marriage date has been set, then – "

"I saw him with another."

Miss Stockton caught her breath. "Another lady?"

"Yes." Martha struggled through a sudden wave of emotion as she closed her eyes for a moment, fighting to keep her composure.

"And what was his explanation?"

Biting her lip for a moment, Martha looked down at the floor rather than at her friend. "He was rather flustered, as you can imagine." Her laugh was harsh and broken. "I am sure that it came as something of a surprise to him to have me standing there."

"But what did he say ?"

"Why does it matter?" Martha's heart began to clamour. "He told me that he was simply trying to talk to Lady Lamberton but she, in turn, laughed and said that surely I could understand what it was that the gentleman was doing in the shadows with a lady such as herself."

Miss Stockton clicked her tongue. "Goodness."

"Therefore," Martha continued, lifting her chin, "I have decided that I will seek out Lord Billington instead."

There came nothing but silence to such a statement and Martha was rather surprised to see the heavy frown which then settled across her friend's expression.

"You cannot think poorly of me for pursuing him, can you?" she asked, suddenly a little desperate. "I cannot wed Lord Granton! After what he has done, I cannot even bear the thought of standing next to him."

Miss Stockton's frown remained. "But you care for him."

Martha looked away. "I am nothing but a fool to have ever permitted my heart to hold any sort of affection for him."

"And what if you are mistaken?" Miss Stockton asked, looking at Martha again as they continued to walk around the ballroom. "What if it is as he has said?"

Martha shook her head. "I heard Lady Lamberton state the precise opposite."

"And what if she was not telling the truth?"

Coming to a stop, Martha turned to face her friend, a sudden upset balling in her stomach. "Why are you so defensive of him? Why must you suggest that I do something else other than what I have decided?"

Miss Stockton looked back at her with a steadiness in her eyes which spoke of a genuine concern. "I believe that Lord Granton might truly care for you."

Rolling her eyes, Martha turned away. "I can hardly believe that you would say such a thing."

"But have you yourself not seen a change in him?" Miss Stockton asked, hurrying to keep her steps matched with Martha's. "Have you not seen how he has pursued you? I confess, when I saw how eager he was to end the plan as regarded Lord Billington, I began to see that your connection had truly affected his heart."

Martha paused, trying to give a response but finding herself empty.

"I think you ought to listen to him give his explanation, before you make any sort of plan with Lord Billington," Miss Stockton finished, quietly. "That is all."

"He wrote to me but I put his letter to one side and refused to read it," Martha stated, firmly. "And I will not be drawn into a conversation with him again, for he… " Her eyes closed briefly. "He will, no doubt, be able to use his many charms to pull me back into his arms and into his intentions. I do not want to marry him, Anna. I intend to pursue Lord Billington, whether you will help me or not."

Miss Stockton's eyes went wide. "What is it that you intend to do?"

Martha shrugged. "I do not know as yet but I will, first of all, attempt to discuss an elopement. And if he does not, then I have other means that I will use to break me apart from my engagement to the Marquess."

Miss Stockton grabbed her hands, her voice suddenly frantic with worry. "What can you be thinking? You are being rash, my friend! You cannot risk doing such a thing as that! Think of your reputation!"

"I do not care about that. Lord Billington will have to marry me and – "

"And what if he refuses?"

That gave Martha pause. "He will not refuse."

"No?" Miss Stockton lifted her eyebrows just a little. "You believe that he will agree, that he will be willing to accept you as his bride but what if he does not? What if he decides that he will not be pushed into matrimony and does all that he can to step back from you?"

"That would make him an unworthy fellow," Martha answered, aware that her excuses felt weak. "I do not think that he would do that."

"But you do not know him," Miss Stockton shot back, quickly. "You cannot tell whether he would do such a thing or not. This is a great risk, my dear friend. Too great a risk, I think."

Martha shook her head. "I know that you are trying to aid me but I cannot accept such advice. I must be able to escape him!"

Miss Stockton came a little closer and grasped both of Martha's hands, squeezing them and looking intently into her eyes. "Do not do this. Talk to the Marquess first, at the very least."

Hesitant, Martha gazed back at her friend, understanding that Miss Stockton was doing her best to be supportive and understanding but, to Martha, her lack of willingness to help was not at all appreciated. "I am going to go to Lord Billington regardless," she said quietly, as Miss Stockton closed her eyes and let out a long breath. "If you do not wish to help, then that is understandable but disappointing." Not wanting her friend to hold her back any longer, Martha turned away immediately. "Do excuse me."

"Martha, wait!"

Ignoring her friend, Martha kept her head held high as she went in search of Lord Billington. There was a slowly increasing warning rolling around within her but Martha did all that she could to ignore it. The last thing she wanted was to find herself caught by doubt and ruin her chance to escape Lord Granton for good.