Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Lothar was beside himself with rage and jealousy. The time since he had seen her with that other man, was the slowest he had ever been through. Yet at the same time he had felt so hurt and rejected that he had not seen her for almost three days.

He missed her but did not want to see her with another. She had not sent word either. The puppy he had still meant to give her had grown strong and confident. Lothar wished he could say the same about his relationship with Gemma.

He had chosen Gemma, and she had seemed to have chosen him as well. Now as he stormed off, all he could imagine was what would have transpired if he had not interrupted Gemma and that man.

I could squash that greasy little man with one blow. What the heck does she see in him? Lothar thought as he tried to focus on where he was going. She had condemned me for Henny but had another man waiting.

To think I had been so eager to see Gemma and she had already forgotten about me. Lothar thought even though a niggle at the back of his mind told him something was out of place.

Lothar thought back to when he had met only the day before with her family and they had a lovely evening with her afterwards.

What could have changed in such a short time? Lothar thought as he reached his carriage. He first told the driver to take him home. Then with his thoughts still in turmoil, he asked the driver to take him to Henny instead. He hoped this would not result in an argument, if it fit then so be it.

This needs to stop. Gemma and I were perfectly happy until Henny decided she might be interested after all. I would not put it beyond Henny to have arranged the gentleman caller he just witnessed with Gemma. Still, why had she not sent him away? Why had she not kept her promise? Lothar wrestled with his thoughts till it dawned on him that they had arrived at Henny’s estate and the carriage had stopped. Lothar took a steadying breath and got out of the carriage.

Lothar made his way to the main house to find Henny sitting eating by the fire.

“Lothar, darling it is so good to see you.” Henny said as she got up from her seat to greet him.

“Why did you have to go and ruin everything for me, Henny?” Lothar said ignoring her greeting and asking the question aloud that had plagued him for weeks now.

“What did I ruin and how?” Henny said in an insolent fashion that reminded Lothar of how his younger sisters could be upset when they did not get their way. They perhaps still had an excuse as they were still children. Acting this way as a grownup was repulsive.

“Henny now is not the time to play coy with me. You have been on a mission to keep Gemma and I apart since we have started seeing one another and I want to know why.” Lothar said with deadpan expression on his face.

“Lothar, I do not have to resort to tricks. There are suitors lining up to be with me.” Henny said in a way he knew was supposed to make him jealous. In the past it may have worked on him but not anymore.

“That is wonderful news Henny. That means you can allow me to be happy. Especially since all I have ever done is try to make you happy. At the very least you could be a good friend to me and want me to be happy.” Lothar explained.

“I do want you to be happy Lothar. I know you will be happy with me.” Henny said. They were the exact words he had been waiting years to hear. The very words he had played out in his mind over and over every day for years.

No more! Lothar thought as he shook his head in disbelief.

“Henny we were never going to work. It was doomed from the start. I wanted you because I knew you and then because I could not have you, I know that now. You want me for the exact same reason, simply because you cannot have me now.” Lothar accused.

“What nonsense that woman has pumped into your ears. We were the best of friends Lothar, we loved one another and that does not simply go away!” Henny yelled, red-faced.

“That woman is and will always be the only woman for me. Nothing you, or anyone can do will stop us.” Lothar yelled over Henny’s whining.

“Not even her family? Or the new man in her life?” Henny said with spite.

“And how is it that you know of these things?” Lothar said walking towards her like a panther who had seen its prey.

“I have friends in all places.” Henny countered.

“No, you knew about the meeting and this man, whoever he is before this all happened. News does most definitely not travel that fast, now speak the truth.” Lothar warned.

“Lothar darling I…” Henny tried to calm him down.

“The truth Henny, now!” Lothar roared.

Henny stopped what she was about to say and looked at him in silence for a few moments before she spoke.

“Alright, if you must know. Your precious Gemma’s great-grandmother and I share a relative. We had a very long discussion about how the union between you and Miss Castwell was a terrible idea. Lothar we are meant to be together, I know you better than anyone does. All I have been doing is fighting for you, for us.” Henny said with a charming smile. Lothar felt more annoyed at her trying to soothe him than if she had just told him plainly about her betrayal.

“Henny you have never, nor will ever, fight for me or for us. You had years in which I courted you, adored you. I was here every time you called me but now it is done. I have come here only to tell you that for once and for all and, to ask you to call off your hounds and to let us be free of you,” Lothar said with a bitterness he never thought he would feel towards Henny.

He would not miss her, yet he would miss the idea of her, and that, he knew, was someone who had not even existed.

“Lothar you are making a terrible mistake. Even if I give up on us, her family will not accept you.” Henny said.

“They will have no choice. Gemma will be my wife and you and everyone that does not like it will just have to get used to the idea.” Lothar made his way out of the room that he had been in so many times before. The ghost of his younger self haunted him as he made his way outside. Every memory he had of trying to win Henny over came flooding back to him. As it did, he banished each and every one until they were just that, a memory, a lesson… and nothing else.

He had finally confronted Henny on her actions and now felt like a new man. He just wished that Gemma had not in turn given up on them. He would give her time. If she was happy with someone else, then he would have to accept it.

Could you really do that? He asked himself and knew he would lie to say it would be easy. Perhaps I am destined to be alone? I will give her a few days, if I have not heard from her by then. I will consider that she has moved on. Lothar thought. He would fight for Gemma, would take on the entire world for her.

One thing he would not do is cling to a notion that would never come to fruition. He had wasted years pining after Henny and would not do so again.

Even If I do love her so much that it hurts to think of her when we are apart. Lothar thought as he felt tears of despair close his throat and sting his eyes. He wiped them away angrily and got into his carriage to go home. When he arrived his mother was in the tea area.

“Good evening son,” his mother greeted her son. The smile vanished from her lips when she saw what a state he was in. “What is the matter? Do I need to call our doctor?” His mother asked with worry.

“No mother, thank you but a doctor is not going to be able to save me from this condition,” Lothar said and slumped into a nearby chair. “I simply have a broken heart, it is not something I am unfamiliar with,” Lothar said, the pain in his heart starting to take control of his voice.

“I had thought things were going well with you and Miss Castwell. What has happened?” His mother asked gently. As a mother she wanted to know what had happened yet at the same time he knew she felt horrid to see her child in such pain.

“I went to see her and her entire family were there. I was sat before all the male members of the family and told how badly of a choice I am for her.” Lothar said realizing how much it had hurt him that a man he looked up to could think so little of him.

“So they have decided against you seeing her?” His mother inquired.

“No I have been given a chance. They believe I am the type of man to court more than one woman at a time. Rightfully so based on their assumptions, they are apprehensive when it comes to my courtship with Gemma,” Lothar bemoaned.

“At least you still stand a chance my boy. Did you take my advice and ask her how she felt about it all.” His mother asked.

“Yes, she had no idea her father would make sure to see me before she did. They had both sent me a letter to come to their estate as soon as I could. It was rather strange. It had the same feeling it always does when Henny interfered in my life, so I went to see her.” Lothar admitted.

“Oh Lothar you did not. After all she has caused you!” his mother exclaimed.

“It is not what you think, mother. I went there to ask her why she did it and tell her that we will never be married. That I love Gemma and that she will be my wife.”

“You told her that?” His mother asked in awe.

“I did mother. I did not care to see her either, she is a rather mean-spirited person. Thanks to Gemma I now know what a real lady is,” Lothar said with the first smile he had since he had greeted his mother.

“It is no wonder you look so distraught,” his mother said sadly.

“I will win her back mother. In fact I shall convince her entire family and every other person who questions it. I am the right man for Gemma and as I say, I will prove it.” Lothar declared with determination.

“How do you plan to do that, son?” His mother asked.

“Whatever it will take mother. I just have one snag to my plans.” Lothar said. He was at first not sure if he should tell his mother, but he knew he had always told her everything.

“Snag you say? And what would that be?” His mother asked with a frown.

“There was another caller when I went to go see Miss Castwell earlier. They seemed to have gone for a walk and had been enjoying an intimate moment together. Something did seem out of place to me. Gemma did not seem as much ashamed as… relieved.”

Lothar suddenly looked aghast, the color completely drained from his face. “Mother I have made a terrible mistake. I believe that gentleman had tried to force himself on Gemma. I must go see her at once,” Lothar said, and then turned back to his mother who wore a very confused expression.

“What is the matter? I thought you wanted to see her as soon as you could.” His mother asked.

“It is rather late. Would it not be unsavory to ask to see a woman at this late hour?” Lothar replied with a question of his own.

“Not if you did worry for her safety.” His mother replied and with a nod he was once again off to see Gemma. He asked that fresh horses be put on his carriage. Those now resting after a hard day did not deserve to be mistreated by being ridden until they were exhausted.

Lothar got into the carriage the moment it was ready and asked the rider to go to the Castwell residence with haste. Lothar felt horrid that he had not only thought poorly of Gemma but had failed to protect her. He should have given her the benefit of the doubt but that was half the worry, all he was filled with was doubt.

He hoped she could forgive him as they finally arrived at the Castwell residence. He was denied access at the gate by the guards. He pled his case to them telling them that their lady could be in danger and still they would not allow him inside. Lothar would not give up so easily. After asking the guards to tell Gemma that he had been there to make them think that he had given up, he got into the carriage and asked the driver to drive out of sight.

Lothar then got out from the carriage and moved closer to the house in the dark. He looked out for guards and a place he might make it over the wall. Just as it seemed he would be caught or that the walls were impossible to climb, he saw an opening. There was a corner of the wall that seemed to have crumbled away slightly.

Lothar looked up at it and then moved back slightly to give himself room to run up to the wall and jump up to hang onto the top of the wall so that he may climb up. Lothar gripped onto the crumbling wall and got dust in his eyes. He clambered up the wall and over to the other side. Barely being able to see, he fell to the ground with a hard thump.

Lothar moved around until he knew where he was. He made his way to the main house undetected and was on his way to climb the stairs that led into the entrance hall when the doors were shut. Lothar would have to find a way to ensure Gemma was safe.

If only I could see her for a moment. Lothar thought as he moved closer. Then he saw her. As he moved around the house from one side to the other house, he looked up to see the light burn in one of the upper rooms. Lothar looked up to see Gemma looking out from the window. He moved back to try to get a better look at her. His heart sank when she seemed to look saddened.

He wanted to speak to her. To tell her that he was sorry and to find out what had really happened between her and the gentleman, if he could be called that. He watched for a while longer and then let her have her privacy. He had made sure she was safe and now he could return home until he could see her again.