Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Gemma bid Lothar goodnight with a sinking feeling in her stomach. Not only did she miss him the moment he left but, now she was certain her great-grandmother had not been completely forward with her. She had not even been aware that there was to be a dinner, and that family would travel from far and wide to attend. She had been told that a quiet dinner was being planned and that she was more than welcome to invite Lothar if she felt she must.

Two letters sent out with the same purpose could be coincidence. Though it is still highly unusual. Gemma thought as she felt overwhelmed with fatigue. The entire day had been long and confusing, except the parts that involved Lothar.

She had hoped as she washed up and changed into sleeping attire that the next day would be easier. Gemma awoke the next morning thinking of Lothar. She noticed that she had more faith in him as time went on.

She had not expected him to give the baroness up as a friend or even a marriage prospect. Yet he had in his own right decided to spend time with her and make a commitment only to her. Gemma knew she had always been a good judge of character and Lothar was being honest with her.

The gesture was unexpectedly romantic and made Gemma feel special, wanted. If she were honest with herself, she would admit that she had fallen in love with Lothar. She knew it likely had started long before then, the way she felt about him. It must have been there all along and had grown from the moment they had met.

There was one thorn in her side, and it pained her that it was her own family. Her great-grandmother had managed to turn their lives around in the shortest amount of time. Gemma understood that she was the oldest living member in their family and in all things, she would have the final say. That did not mean that Gemma would simply accept her fate, she would with all due respect, fight for what she stood for, and she would fight for her and Lothar.

Gemma dressed for breakfast and hoped to hear from Lothar or that he would call during the day. When a carriage did arrive it was not who Gemma had expected.

“Here you are dear,” her mother knocked and then came into the room and said. “You have a caller.” She said with an odd smile.

“Is it Lothar?” Gemma asked, knowing that it must be him.

“Not exactly. Now get dressed dear, one does not want to be rude,” her mother said and left as quickly as she had come into the room.

Who could it be if not Lothar? Gemma wondered while she left her sleeping quarters and made her way to the tea room where most guests were shown when they visited. When she entered the room, she did not expect to look into those cold blue eyes ever again!

“Edward, it has been a while,” Gemma said trying her best not to seem as nervous and upset as she felt on the inside.

“My dear, I cannot tell you how thrilled I was to receive an invitation to tea with you. Surprised really as I have not heard from you in almost two years now.”

He said as he took her hand in his and kissed the back of her hand. His blonde hair was still as greasy as she remembered and his face even more weasel-like than she remembered. He was shorter than she was and that had not bothered her as much as she had allowed someone smaller than her to bully her.

Gemma felt so repulsed that she felt physically ill.

Not any more surprised than I am, Gemma thought with disdain.

“Well sometimes it is good to see old friends again.” Gemma said starting to more easily make conversation.

Why do you not tell him to leave! After all he has done to you! Gemma’s mind raged at her as she tried to make sense of him being here.

It could only have been my great-grandmother and her idea of taking control of my life. She really has gone too far this time! Gemma decided to be courteous to Edward even though it was best if he would leave.

What could be the harm? It was only tea after all. Gemma thought as she chased away all the bad memories of the short and disappointing time together.

He had courted others beside her when they had been together. It had not been like with Lothar. He had one friend that was still in his life, and he had made it clear that his choice had been made. Edward had the nerve to be seeing several women at the same time simply to secure the woman with the most money.

“So are you still writing?” Edward asked and Gemma was surprised that he even remembered that she wrote. More so that he would speak about any other topic besides himself.

“It is going well thank you. I thought you found female writers to be of little substance.” Gemma asked not willing to extend her kindness to pretending he did not insult everything she did and was.

“Edward, I must be honest with you. The invitation to tea today was not from me. Furthermore I had no idea you were going to be here today,” Gemma said, not wanting Edward to get the idea that they could be together again.

“I know, My Lady. Your great-grandmother sent me a letter. She said that you were currently in a courtship she did not approve of.” Edward said seemingly unbothered by her lack of enthusiasm.

“You know it was not me? Why did you come then, you know I said that I did not want to see you again.” Gemma said.

“I thought that you may have changed your mind as time had gone by. After all it has been two years and two failed seasons. You may be running out of choices, My Lady. Shall we go for a walk?”” Edward said in a calm, smug tone.

“If you knew me at all, Edward. You would know that I would rather be on my own than get married only to be with someone just for the sake of doing so, but fine, the fresh air would be welcome.” Gemma replied.

“I did not come here to use you, My Lady. I have missed you and I still think we would make a good match. At least a better one than a duke that still loves another woman.” Edward said still in a calm manner. It was not a tone that spoke so much of his self-control, it was a thin vail that would tear for the simplest of reasons. They started to walk away from the house. Gemma had not noticed that they had gotten quite far from the house.

Her mind cast her back to a time when he had made her miserable for days on end by being in a foul mood over his newspaper getting wet in the rain. He had arrived for tea with the offending paper under his arm and had spent the entire time he was there, complaining about it.

It made her lose her temper.

“Edward, I do not know what ideas were put in your head but there will never be a chance for us again.” Gemma said and turned to leave. She would rather be slightly rude by leaving her guest than to engage in what was quickly becoming an argument.

“Gemma please,” Edward pleaded. Gemma turned to him. She had never heard him plead in his life. “I do not expect you to forget how things ended between us, I am asking that you just give me the opportunity to make it up to you. I hate the way things were left between us. If we could repair that then I would be happy the rest of my life.” Edward said with the type of convincing smile that used to make her mind melt.

It was still a lovely smile, but she did not feel the same as she had the last time. They had been so deeply in love that she had been completely blind to his ways. She was perhaps overcompensating for that by being suspicious of every man that had come after Edward.

“There is no need to make anything up to me, Edward,” Gemma said wanting him to leave.

“There is, My Lady. I have hurt you and I am very sorry for that. The fact that you still react so strongly to me, means there is still a spark between us.” Edward said.

Gemma was not convinced by the act though there was something in the way he looked at her that took her back to a time when the world had been theirs. For a moment she felt as young and free as she had when they had been together.

She had been sixteen and Edward had been eighteen. She had not known about heartbreak. She had not even learned that people could be deceptive. She had been having a lovely tea with Edward when he had told her that he no longer wanted to see her.

“My Lady, you are still young. You should first know who you are before you get married.” Edward had said all those years ago. He had made it sound as though he was thinking of her and her wellbeing when he had wanted to break their engagement off without the argument or bitterness that went with rejecting someone.

“Why? What did I do wrong? Tell me and I will make it right,” Gemma had pleaded. She felt ashamed at how she had acted. She had begged him to stay with her as though her world would end if he refused.

It had felt almost that bad if not worse. Love was a cruel teacher the first time it crept into one’s heart. Gemma thought as she smiled at Edward and took a step back.

Gemma wanted to tell Edward to leave but felt some kind of responsibility towards him. She did not owe him a thing, yet she could not bring herself to be horrid to him. She had in their time apart wanted to give him a stern talking to and now that he was before her, she simply could not.

Is this what Lothar has been facing with Henny? This strange feeling of being beholden to a lost love? One thing I know for sure is that Edward pales in comparison to Lothar. He must be telling the truth about his heart being mine and mine alone! Gemma thought as her heart soared. She felt so elated that she was not as annoyed with Edward as she had been moments before.

Gemma could not help but laugh. She felt so much happiness in her at the thought of there being a real chance for her and Lothar.

“Edward, what you did to me all those years ago is long forgotten. I do not want you to spend time making it up to me. In fact I must be perfectly honest with you. I do not want to spend time with you at all.” Gemma said and turned to leave and not look back this time, to not waste a single second on the past.

“My Lady how can you be so cruel?” Edward said to her retreating back. Gemma bit down on her teeth in order to stop herself from turning back to reply. He is just grasping at straws. Do not let him drag you into letting him back into your life. Gemma thought as she walked further away. Edward did not seem to understand that she did not want his company and ran towards her to stand in front of her, blocking her path.

“Edward this is ridiculous, now please get out of my way.” Gemma said as she moved to go around him. He moved again and Gemma side stepped. She took a deep breath and tried one more time. This time when Gemma made the same move to go around Edward, he grabbed onto her wrist and pulled her to him. Gemma lost her balance and found herself caught in his arms.

Gemma moved to get out of his grasp, but he held her firmly in place. Gemma realized for the first time that she was in danger. That he had led her far away from the house and that it was unlikely that anyone would be around.

“Let go of me.” Gemma said as fear and fury made her fight back. She felt his grip tighten on her and then he made a grave mistake. The hand he had on her shoulder moved to her head. He moved her chin to face him and in doing so pulled her hair.

Gemma saw red. Whether he had meant to do so on purpose did not matter. She had been teased most of her childhood and even into adulthood. Boys had pulled her hair and shoved her when she had gone to town. She could not stand the sensation. Gemma’s pulse raced as she acted out of instinct.

She found unnatural strength within the fear she felt and broke free from Edward’s hold. Gemma stumbled back and nearly fell onto her back but regained her balance in time. Gemma was breathless from the effort and dared not try to outrun him. She may be taller but knew her dress would slow her down. She knew from experience that a swift kick did not always land its target, and she would most likely not make it back to her home in time.

“Fine Edward, why not have some fun for old time’s sake?” Gemma said.

“Why the sudden change of mind?” Edward asked.

“I am tired of fighting it. I have missed you, Edward.” Gemma lied and hoped he would be convinced.

“What about the duke?” Edward asked nastily. It took so much effort from Gemma not to respond that she could have sworn she had just broken a tooth.

“I do not care about him,” Gemma said. Tears welling up in her eyes at the pain the words were causing her.

“Is that true, My Lady?” A deep voice asked from behind her.

Lothar! Gemma’s mind raced as she turned to face Lothar.

I am safe at last! Gemma thought as she rushed to his side. Only he looked past her to Edward with an expression that could only be described as murderous.

“I came to see you, My Lady. It would seem you are otherwise engaged.” Lothar said as he looked at her with disgust.

“Lothar, wait. That was said in order for me to get away from him!” Gemma cried out in earnest.

“Those are not words one says to be rid of someone, My Lady.” Lothar looked at her with sheer disappointment.

“Lothar please, wait.” Gemma pleaded looking behind her to see Edward standing there with a smug smile.

“You wretch!” Gemma said and followed Lothar rather than stay near Edward. Gemma looked down for a moment and saw that her dress had been ripped at the shoulders exposing a slim glimpse of skin.

No wonder Lothar had looked so alarmed! Gemma thought with panic.