Chapter 36

The snow had finally melted, and winter had a few days before spring took its place. Rebecca could hardly believe she had been with the Andrews family for three months, but she could sense her stay was coming to an end. Tommy was seven months old and healthier than ever, Lady Oakham no longer spent her nights crying or experiencing moments of melancholy, and grief was no longer her defining trait. Rebecca’s work was done.

“You have adorable toes, My Lord,” she told Tommy as she massaged him. “I wonder who you take after? Your father or your mother? Or perhaps your uncle? Not that I have seen anyone’s toes. We’re all covered up as though skin is sin itself.”

Being an avid admirer of the human form, she couldn’t understand why people made rules to cover their bodies. She had seen paintings of ancient Greece and Egypt, and they were not covered up within an inch of their lives. However, she had noticed how a woman’s breasts were consistently put on show as fashion styles changed over the centuries. It was amusing and confusing.

“What will you have for your next meal today?” she asked the baby as she turned him on his belly. “I think pureed potatoes, carrots, boiled meat, and fruit. Later, you can have something green, although I know you haven’t taken to the flavour of green vegetables yet.”

Tommy was now eating, although most of it tended to go everywhere but his mouth. Still, he was enjoying the different textures and hadn’t outrightly rejected anything yet. Lady Oakham made sure she was present for all his feedings, not wanting to miss any of his milestones.

She would soon see another one as soon as Tommy could successfully crawl. What he had begun in December would come to fruition in days. Rebecca would be around to see it but wouldn’t stay longer than March. There was no need.

Everything went back to normal after Christmas, including the duke’s behaviour. Although she should call him Henry at this point. He had taken her first kiss, so she was allowed some privileges, even if they were only in her head. Rebecca couldn’t decide if his avoidance of what happened that night was good or bad. A gentleman would have said something, but it might have made things more awkward between them.

Perhaps his decision to withdraw into himself was right, but Rebecca couldn’t help feeling disappointed. Sometimes, she thought back to that moment, recalling how he had looked at her like she was everything to him. Rebecca had been almost confident that her life was about to change, but everything just fizzled into nothing.

Perhaps Henry was reminded of his promise to resume his courtship with Lady Ruth and was embarrassed about the kiss. She had overheard his discussion with Lady Ruth. It had been painful but necessary to hear that he already had a woman in mind, and Rebecca could never be good enough for him. That kiss had just been a strange occurrence, never to be repeated again. It had undoubtedly meant something to her, but it was just a mistake for him.

She just had to remind herself that she had come to Dorchester Place to help Lady Oakham and Tommy, not to fall for the duke. That worked most of the time, but it was challenging to ignore that she had her first kiss, and Henry had treated it like nothing significant. Perhaps he was accustomed to kissing women.

“Your uncle doesn’t strike me as a man who would do that,” she muttered. “I suppose he’s embarrassed that he kissed a commoner.”

Tommy tipped himself over, grasping his foot to bite his toes. She chuckled, sat back, and left him to his own devices. His foot proved too slippery from the oil she had used, frustrating the little boy.

“Oh, all right,” she said, laughing. “I’ll wipe you down so you can return to biting your limbs.”

She used a slightly damp cloth to remove the excess oil, marvelling at his soft skin. Women spend a lot of money trying to have wrinkle-free, youthful, baby-soft skin. It was all for the male gaze. Rebecca doubted women would be so obsessive about slowing the ageing process if they didn’t feel it was necessary.

Her mother and grandmother were ageing gracefully, and they had taught her to appreciate the process, so she didn’t understand the need to regain her youth through creams and special foods. Perhaps she would think differently once her skin started sagging and she had deep lines on her face, but she doubted it.

“Strangely, there is a silver lining to my troubles,” she suddenly remarked, wiping the folds in Tommy’s neck. “I’m glad I no longer have to see those horrible people.”

Lady Ruth and the vicar no longer visited as often as they used to. Rebecca recalled they came to Dorchester Place a few days after Christmas Day, but he refused to see them. Surprisingly, he was rude about it because he always tried to be polite.

Not even Lady Oakham had been interested in seeing them. Later, she revealed that she never truly considered Lady Ruth a friend and wasn’t entirely comfortable around the vicar. That had been shocking, but it made sense.

Tommy no longer wanted to lie on his back, so she pulled him to his feet and let him walk with her help. He was happy for all of five minutes before he refused to stand and plopped on his bottom. She opened her palms for him to tap on them, making her think of a silly song she used to sing as a child.

She hummed it until she sensed a presence behind her, prompting her to turn around. She looked up, startled to see Henry just staring at her. Rebecca didn’t know what to make of it. He had barely spoken to her in nearly two months and took all his meals in his study, and now he was staring at her like he wanted to talk. Well, she didn’t think she wished to speak to him.

Despite this, she couldn’t look away from him. Henry had a look of longing that answered the one in her heart, but she could just be seeing what she wanted to see. The silence between them was a tad too unbearable, so she opened her mouth to say something, but Tommy grasped her knee, grabbing her attention. He was on his knees, one hand on her knee and the other on the ground. It was the most progress he had made since he showed signs of wanting to crawl.

“Your Grace!” she cried excitedly as she turned to him. “Call Lady Oakham quickly. I believe his lordship will crawl today.”

He nodded and ran off, returning moments later with his sister by his side. “Henry said my baby is about to crawl?” she said, kneeling beside her.

“I believe he is,” Rebecca replied.

Henry sat down on Rebecca’s other side, his shoulder almost touching hers. She was too distracted to really think about it, but she felt him brush against her.

They all encouraged Tommy to get on his hands and knees, even showing him how to do it. He appeared amused at first but eventually tried to copy them. The little boy got onto his knees, but he quickly fell forward. However, he didn’t give up. Each try was more stable until he finally shuffled forward for several seconds before falling again.

“He just crawled, didn’t he?” Lady Oakham asked in wonder.

“He did, My Lady,” said Rebecca, grinning.

The countess squealed in joy, clapping her hands. Rebecca and Henry joined in, delighting the little boy. It seemed that every terrible event, word spoken, and painful feeling paled in comparison to watching an innocent baby crawl for the first time. Lady Oakham threw her hands around Rebecca, embracing her tightly before she picked her son up and kissed him all over his face.

Rebecca turned to Henry with a smile, not thinking when he pulled her into a hug. They stilled when they realized what they were doing but didn’t immediately pull apart. Rebecca’s belly flip-flopped as heat spread across her cheeks and the rest of her body, building up until a furnace blazed. Her heart racing, she finally pulled away, not meeting his eyes.

Fortunately, the countess didn’t notice because she was too focused on her son. Rebecca grew alarmed when Lady Oakham pulled Tommy closer to her chest and started crying.

“I wish Thomas were here,” she sobbed. “Tommy is growing up beautifully, and he isn’t here to see it. He’s not here to share in all these beautiful moments. It’s not fair.”

Rebecca felt this was the last bit of grief that needed to be released. She put an arm around the countess’ waist, comforting her. Henry moved to the other side and did the same, kissing his sister’s brow.

“Thomas is still with us, Jules,” he said. “He would never leave you or Tommy completely alone. Just because you cannot see him does not mean he isn’t present.”

Lady Oakham nodded her head, her shoulders shaking with her sobs. Tommy wasn’t happy being caught in the middle, so he fussed, pushing away from his mother as he spoke in his baby language. He sounded annoyed. They chuckled at his behaviour, finding relief in the moment. There was healing in the tears and laughter, a perfect end for the challenging time in the countess’ life. Rebecca’s work really was done.