Chapter Six
Jasper was bone numbingly exhausted, but he didn’t dare sleep. His cabin was small and perfectly proportioned. The wooden walls gave him privacy, and his small round window fascinated Jasper and gave him a constant view of the sea.
The bed was a decent size, and a lot more comfortable than Jasper anticipated, and he found it easy to use his trunk as a dresser. He even had his own tiny bathroom that met all his needs and that he didn’t have to share with anyone, which Jasper hadn’t expected but definitely appreciated.
For the past three days, he and Avalon would meet for a private breakfast, and then Jasper would pretty much sit and watch out to sea while Avalon took care of messages and correspondence, or steered the ship. Sometimes Jasper would talk to Merlin or Duncan if they approached him, but most of the time, Jasper could just savor the sensation of being out in the fresh air watching strange lands as they sailed past.
“Are we going to be docking anywhere anytime soon?” he asked, trying to keep his tone casual as he and Avalon were sharing boiled eggs and toast on the fourth morning. His husband had already explained they weren’t heading back to Cijan for another few weeks, but Jasper wasn’t sure if they were just sailing around in circles or what was going on.
“We can do if you want to.” Avalon looked up from his plate and smiled. “I’m happy either way, being on the ship or on land. We do have to dock sometimes just to pick up fresh food supplies and refresh the magical crystals that power the ship. Did you have anywhere specific you’d like to visit?”
“I don’t even know where we are. All I saw this morning was water.” Jasper managed a small smile, as he thought quickly. “I just thought I’d like to send a few small gifts to my mother and let her know I was all right. Stretch my legs, that sort of thing.”
Avalon must’ve accepted his excuse because he nodded. “It can feel a bit cramped, even on a ship as big as this. I’ll have a chat with Duncan and see what’s the closest suitable place. I’m sure we can pull into somewhere in the next day or so. Maybe find us lodgings where we can have a proper bath for a change, instead of making do with those tiny showers. How does that sound?”
“That’s thoughtful of you. Thank you.” Jasper went back to his breakfast. I just have to stay awake that long.
/~/~/~/~/
“Sire, you have to talk to him,” Merlin hissed at Avalon later that day. “Can’t you see your husband is in distress of some kind?”
“I had noticed he was a little pale,” Avalon admitted. “But he hasn’t said anything, and no one has reported seeing signs of him being sick over the edge of railings or anything like that. Do you think he might suffer from motion sickness?”
“He handles the motion of the ship well enough. He’s not sleeping, that’s the problem,” Duncan said brusquely. “If those dark shadows under his eye get any deeper, his face will fall into them.”
“How do you know, apart from his eye, I mean?” It wasn’t that Avalon didn’t trust his friend because he did. But dark shadows under the eyes could be the result of many things… or could they?
“We hear him,” Merlin said quietly, “pacing his cabin at night. The first night, we thought it was just wedding night nerves, being in a strange place, maybe he was too anxious to sleep.”
“But he’s done it every night since he came on board,” Duncan added. “I swear your husband hasn’t had a wink of sleep in the past four nights. How he’s staying upright is incredible.”
“He must nap sometimes,” Avalon protested. “It’s not like you two stay up all night. Maybe he can cope with just a few hours sleep. He’s young. We used to stay up all night, too, at his age.”
“Not every night, and not unless we were attending a party, or playing cards,” Duncan protested. “He’s pacing when we go to sleep, he’s still pacing when we wake up. Are you telling me he knows our sleeping habits and times his pacing accordingly?”
That didn’t seem likely. “Do you think this has something to do with what he’s been through?” Avalon glanced over to the corner of the deck where Jasper seemed to like to sit during the day, his fair skin shaded by the giant sails that gently billowed in the light breeze. “Nightmares perhaps?”
“That’s possible,” Merlin agreed. “He might worry, if he screams out at night, or perhaps falls out of bed… perhaps he’s concerned about disturbing you or us.”
“But most people wouldn’t stay continually awake all that time. He’s going to fall on his face soon. That’s why we think you need to talk to him.” Duncan agreed with his partner.
Avalon could understand his friends’ concerns. “He did ask me this morning if we were docking in a harbor anytime soon. I suggested we could find somewhere to stay for a night so we could all have a decent bath instead of our customary showers. Do you think that’s why he was asking? Is it possible there’s something on the ship that’s stopping him from sleeping?”
“I can’t think what that might be, and you’re not going to know unless you ask him, are you?” Merlin glanced at his own husband. “We could pull into Port Jerry for the night. That has a nice hotel, with private suites. But Jasper’s going to have to understand if he’s not sleeping with you…”
“Which he wouldn’t be,” Avalon said firmly. “I wouldn’t encroach on his privacy in that way, especially if he isn’t sleeping at all.”
“Then he’d going to need, at the very least, a guard outside his door. Probably two of them,” Duncan insisted. “Someone’s already been after him once and damn near killed him, by all accounts. No one seemed to care about his personal safety when we were in Lowenthorp, but that’s not how things work with the royal family of Cijan. Has Jasper been prepared for that reality when we’re on land?”
Avalon sighed. He hadn’t even thought of that. “I’ll talk to him before we dock,” he said. He was already sure Jasper wasn’t going to be keen, but Duncan made a good point, and Jasper’s safety was ultimately Avalon’s responsibility.
Leaving Duncan in charge of the wheel, Avalon took his time leaving the wheelhouse and crossing the open deck to where Jasper was sitting on a pile of ropes. The man’s spine wasn’t as stiff as before, and the shoulders a little more relaxed, but Avalon still noticed the subdued flinch before Jasper recovered himself.
“Is everything all right?” Jasper’s face had some color from being outdoors a lot more often than his earlier pallor suggested he’d been. “You and your friends all seemed very serious.”
“Sorry about that.” Swinging his leg over another pile of ropes, Avalon sat so he was facing his husband. “I thought we’d call into Port Jerry this afternoon. It will give the chef the chance to order in fresh supplies – is there any particular foods you’d like us to include on the list?”
“No, but thank you for asking.” Jasper gave a quick shake of his head. “The chef is very talented. The food onboard is lovely. You’ll see I am a man of simple means and don’t like to make a fuss.”
“I’m glad to hear that, about the not making a fuss business, I mean, but for a totally different reason.” Avalon paused for a moment. “When we’re in Port Jerry, we can stay at a hotel for the night. It’s a very respectable establishment. I’ve stayed there before. You will, of course, have your own room as you do here on the ship. However, because it is a public house, I will be posting guards on your door, and my own for our protection.”
Avalon expected Jasper to frown and shake his head. He didn’t expect the blunt, “I can’t allow that, I’m sorry.”
“Jasper, you’re in a position of authority now. I would not sleep easy, knowing you were unguarded in your quarters.”
“I appreciate your concerns and I feel awful being so resistant on this matter, especially when I just said I don’t like to make a fuss.” Jasper looked out across the water. The ship had already turned, and the land was slowly appearing on the horizon. “Your men would be allowed shore leave, would they not? I could stay on the ship alone and no one would know but yourself and your friends. Would that make things easier for you?”
“Jasper, you’re not making any sense.” Without thinking Avalon reached for Jasper’s hands, holding them firmly although Jasper didn’t pull away. He was just staring at where their hands were joined.
“Remember when I talked about honesty?” Avalon lowered his voice. “We’re married now. There is nothing you can’t tell me that will cause me to break the vows we shared. You’re not sleeping, and I fear you must, or you’ll get ill. Please tell me what is going on. Do you suffer from nightmares, perhaps?”
“Some.” Jasper’s head turned again, and all Avalon could see was the patch and the firm set of his jaw.
“Then surely you would sleep easier if you knew your door was guarded.”
“My nightmares have side effects.” Jasper was back, looking at their joined hands. His voice was so low Avalon had to strain to hear. “Magical ones. I know I should’ve mentioned this before, but I don’t dare sleep on the ship in case I hurt someone or cause irreparable damage to the vessel.”
“Magic?” Avalon quickly glanced around, but no one was within hearing distance. “As in, you can spark small fires or move candlesticks on tabletops?”
“I wish that was all that happened.” Jasper shook his head. “I’m exhausted, that’s very true. But the worry of what could happen keeps me awake. I don’t know how much longer… If anyone got hurt…”
“By the Moon Goddess, you should’ve told me.” Avalon was gutted his husband was suffering in silence. “I’m taking you to my room. I need details.”
“You should just drop me off somewhere.” As Jasper looked up, Avalon saw a single tear bloom in the corner of his eye. “I thought my inner turmoil would be better once I left the castle, but it seems my torments are determined to haunt me wherever I go. I’m so sorry.”
“You’ve done nothing to be sorry about. Don’t start by not letting me help you now.” Encouraging Jasper to his feet, Avalon looked up to the wheel deck where Duncan and Merlin were doing a rotten impression of not trying to listen in. “Carry on to port. My husband and I are not to be disturbed. We’ll be in my quarters.”
“They’re going to think we’re up to no good,” Jasper hissed, as Avalon kept a hold of his arm, escorting him to his personal quarters.
“We’re married. They can think what they like.”