9. Aurelia

NINE

Two weeks had passedsince I'd boarded the S.S. Paradise, and I finally felt like I had my groove. Work was good, I had a group of friends, and I'd found spots on the ship that felt like mine.

Like the garden, earlier, where I'd run into Sylas Kellar.

I frowned, thinking about what he'd said. That he was broken. What had happened to him and his sister to make him feel that way? Part of me wanted to dismiss it.

After all, what he said was true. He was an asshole. Mostly. Sometimes. At least, that was what I'd originally thought. Now… I didn't know what to feel.

"I think the Captain's mood has gotten worse, if that's possible," Violet said, her thoughts somehow aligning with mine. "Know anything about that, Aurelia?"

We were all squeezed onto the two couches into the officer's lounge, turning on the large screen to watch a recording of our favorite trashy dating show. Thankfully, the ship was backed up with thousands of different programs, because it wasn't like we got anything new in space.

Love Out of this World was basically the same as any of the other 31st century reality romance shows, pairing people up and making them compete in couple's challenges, but it was set in space. They'd used an old, retired starship, locking the contestants on board for the months when the show filmed. There was a whole whopping fifteen seasons we could watch, too, which meant we could binge to our heart's content.

I pulled my eyes away from the screen to look at her. "Why would I?"

Ever since he let me back on the bridge, things had been better, but it wasn't like we were friends. In fact, besides a few moments, he'd hardly even talked to me. Still, I couldn't help but think about him in the gardens, with his head tipped up towards the light, an almost smile on his face…

He seemed peaceful, and I'd never seen him look like that before.

Maybe that was why it stuck with me. No other reason.

She looked over at me with a sly grin on her face. "I see him looking at you all the time."

I snorted. "He does not."

There was no way. Sylas was… watching me? Why? Was I doing something wrong? Except… I couldn't be. I knew I was damn good at my job. And based on Orion's reassurances, it wasn't that.

Except… there'd been that time at the gym. How his eyes dropped to my lips. And when I'd been walking away, I'd caught him staring at my backside. A warmth crept into my cheeks.

"No, she's right," Finley added, tossing a piece of air-popped corn into her mouth. "Every time I see him, he's staring at you. Though he might be glaring, too. I couldn't quite say."

Glaring sounded right.

"Yeah, I think he hates me." I frowned, waving them off and munching on the popcorn myself. "Why are we still talking about me, anyway? My life isn't as remotely interesting as you're making it out to be. Let's just watch the show."

We'd discovered our mutual love for this show last week, and had all decided to watch it together. Which I was grateful for, because at least we had something else to talk about, keeping the focus off of me. I wanted them to like me, not speculate that something was going on between me and our captain.

Because nothing was happening, not now, and not in a million years. No matter how vast this galaxy was, there was no way Sylas Kellar and I would ever be together.

The rest of the girls went back to the screen, watching this couple going out on an organized date on the show, and the blue-haired medical officer sitting next to me shifted closer.

"You okay? How are you adjusting? The first month is the hardest. At least, that was my experience." Astrid gave me a small smile as she nudged me slightly.

"As good as I can be." I laughed. "This is all still so surreal. I mean, I'm on a freaking starship, right? I can't complain." My eyes drifted away from the screen and back to her. Astrid gave me an unconvinced look.

Sure, maybe there were things I could complain about—my grumpy captain hating me, for example, but I was choosing not to focus on them. It's going to be amazing, I reminded myself of the mantra I'd vowed to keep at my graduation ceremony.

"It's really something, isn't it?" Violet chimed in, a look of wonder in her eyes.

A smile lit up my face. "Sometimes, I feel like I'm going to wake up back in my bed at home, and all of this will just be one crazy dream."

If only my dad could see me now.

Kayle chuckled. "I've definitely felt like that more than once during my time with the Federation. I don't think you ever quite get used to it, but it feels normal eventually. And then every once in a while you have to stop, and be like, my god, I'm in fucking space right now, just for a brief reality check."

"Well, this is what I always dreamed of. Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted to fly a ship one day." A happy sigh slipped from my lips. "What did you all want to be when you grew up?"

Violet looked out the window, a serene look of longing filling her face. "I actually wanted to be a dancer."

"Really?" That surprised me, considering she'd ended up here working on comms, of all things. "What changed?"

"I grew up." She gave me a sad smile. "What about you? How did this all start?"

"Well, when I was a kid, it didn't matter what role I ended up in. It was just being in space that excited me," I answered honestly, hugging my knees against my body. "But the older I got, the more I wanted to be like my dad. To follow in his footsteps. When I lost him…" It was like I'd lost a piece of me. But no matter what happened, I always felt closer to him when I looked up at the sky. And now, I was really here. I shook my head. "Somehow, I feel closer to him now." Like he was here with me. Even if it was just in my heart.

"That's amazing, Aurelia." Finley gave me a warm smile. She looked a little distracted, holding her communicator tightly in her hand. Was everything okay? "I know I speak for everyone when I say we're so happy to have you on board."

Dipping my head, I tried to hide my blush. "Thank you. What about you? What's your story?"

Finley opened her mouth, but then a ping interrupted her, and she stood up. "Sorry. Gotta answer this."

"I'm getting a drink," Kayle called out, standing up abruptly. "Anyone want anything?"

"Sure," I called. All of this talk of the past had me feeling emotionally drained, and something to drink sounded like exactly what I needed to get back into the spirit of tonight.

"Anything specific?"

I shook my head. "Whatever you're having."

She darted over to the bar, bottles and glasses clinking as she mixed drinks.

"I'm glad you're adjusting better now." Astrid squeezed my wrist. "You know I'm here if you need anything, right?"

I nodded. It wasn't like I could complain about the Captain's treatment of me—especially with his sister and my first officer in the room. It'll get better, Aurelia, I scolded myself. Just give it time.

Kayle settled onto the armchair next to me, placing a drink in front of her on the coaster and handing me one. "This show is so stupid," she whispered as we watched two women fighting each other over a man.

I rolled my eyes at their antics. "Yeah. Definitely not what I would want my group of friends to look like."

She let out a burst of laughter, one that instantly made me like her more. "No," she finally agreed. "Decidedly not."

I knew in my gut that I liked Sylas's sister. She was kind, and I envied her calm demeanor and confidence. She was effortlessly gorgeous, with that dark brown hair and her ocean blue eyes—I didn't think she even had to try to look good each morning. Plus, her legs were a million miles long. I was five seven, and even I was envious of her stature.

"I heard what they were saying before," she said, taking a sip of her drink. I looked over at Astrid, Violet, and Finley, but they were all once again enraptured, eyes glued to the television.

"About?" I asked, swallowing down my guilt over everyone gossiping about our captain. Her brother.

Kayle gave me a warm smile, and it felt like she saw right through me. "I know he's not the easiest to deal with. But give him time."

"Time?" I raised my eyebrow. "You know he?—"

"Tried to fire you?" She grimaced. "Yeah. Not his finest move. But even if he's thirty-five, sometimes he still acts like a dumb boy." Part of me wondered if she had anything to do with that—him rehiring me. It felt like she did. Kayle shook her head. "Just don't give up on him."

"Okay." I whispered the word, wondering what there was to give up on. We weren't friends. He didn't like me. Until our conversation in the garden today, I hadn't even thought about him like that.

He was my captain. Despite the asshole exterior, he'd given me a glimpse inside, but I wasn't going to find out anything more.

No matter how gorgeous I found him, I wasn't here to find love.

I was here to find out what happened to my dad. To solve the mystery that had been plaguing me for the last thirteen years. It was too late to save him, that much I knew, but I wanted to have closure.

To move on.

After last nightwith the girls, I was feeling better. Maybe it was because it felt like I'd found my place. Whatever the reason, I felt more confident today. Maybe there was something in the recirculated air. Maybe it was space. For whatever reason, when I'd pulled on my dark purple dress uniform this morning, it hadn't even felt like I was playing dress-up anymore. It felt like I belonged here.

"Morning, Lieutenant," one of the crew members said to me.

"Morning," I responded, sitting down at my console.

I kept thinking about what Kayle had told me last night. That Sylas wasn't the easiest to deal with. That I should give him time. I thought about the way I'd seen him smile at his sister, throwing his arm around her shoulder and pulling her in tight. I wondered what it would be like to have that expression pointed at me. To see a true smile on his face.

But how many weeks would it take before he stopped being infuriating?

Infuriatingly handsome.

I started to punch in coordinates on my screen, checking the path the ship was flying, but something was off. Frowning, I backed out of my system, running a full diagnostic on it. Surely, this was an easy solution.

Except when it came back with a ding, I immediately knew what it was. Shit. I smoothed a hand over my face, looking around the bridge to see who else was around, before moving over to one of the machines in the back of the room.

No one had paid attention to me getting up, so I was safe. I breathed out a sigh of relief as I began to work.

Except a shadow fell over me, and I froze.

"What do you think you're doing?" A deep, commanding voice.

It was easy to forget how tall he was until moments like this, seeing him up close. Sure, I was taller than the average female, but he still towered over me, which was more intimidating than I'd like it to be.

Probably why standing up to him that first day had been as nerve-wracking as it was. Still, it had worked out. He'd agreed to let me work in my position, and I'd gotten to stay on the ship. Problem solved.

I slapped the machine twice. It might not have been my terminal, but everything on the bridge affected the crew. "Fixing this. It's reading wrong."

"No, it's not." He narrowed his eyes at me.

Except… I knew it was.

I'd taken a good deal of advanced engineering classes in college for my degree, that had seen me working on ships on the back end. All of that was before I'd ever learned how to fly a starship.

"Yes. It is."

"This isn't your job."

My mouth dropped open. "But I can fix it."

He just shook his head. Leo wasn't even around—dealing with some minor problem in Engineering—and this would only take me a few moments.

Was he really telling me no?

"I learned about this in college. If the calibrations are off even the tiniest amount, it can throw off the entire ship's warp and navigational systems. And I know how to fix it. You haven't forgotten that I graduated at the top of my class, have you?"

We were chest to chest now, and that felt too intimate. I tried to take a step back, but it was just machinery behind me.

"You can't be serious."

Crossing my arms over my chest, I frowned at him. "Of course I am. Just watch."

He didn't move, and I quirked an eyebrow, giving him a scooch motion with my hands.

Sylas said nothing, just furrowed his brows as he watched me work.

A few minutes later, the system rebooted itself, and the numbers on the screen were in the correct range.

"There," I said, pointing at them. "Now it's fixed. See?"

"That's…" He looked up at me. "How?"

"I know what I'm doing." I clicked my tongue in my mouth. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll get back to the helm."

He huffed something under his breath, but didn't respond. Instead, he just stared at me.

"Would you like me to pull up the equipment manual and show you?"

"No." He grit his teeth.

"So… am I allowed to get back to work now?" I asked, jutting out my chin towards him.

Sylas waved me off, heading back to his chair.

A smile spread over my lips.

I win.

Score 1 Aurelia, Score 0 Captain Kellar.

If only the rest of the mission would have been so easy.