37. Aurelia

THIRTY-SEVEN

The airlock sealedtight behind me, and it was just him and me in the chamber. I was still trying to catch my breath, the adrenaline coursing through my body demanding a very different physical activity.

For a while, I'd been holding back my emotions. Because I hadn't known if they were reciprocated. And then, well… because it had seemed like the world would end if I told him how I was feeling and he said nothing back. But I didn't care anymore. Not after we'd just lived through an asteroid shower and I'd gone on a super dangerous space walk.

His arms were still wrapped around my waist, keeping me tight against his body, and I placed one hand over his heart. I could feel how rapidly it was beating.

And suddenly, I wasn't scared anymore.

"Sylas," I said, taking a deep breath. "I need you to know that I'm never going to leave you. That I'm in this for the long run. However long that is… You have me. I'm yours."

He pressed his lips to my forehead, not saying anything for a beat.

"I—" I started, but he slid his finger over my lips.

"Aurelia." His voice was pained. "What you did out there was reckless. It was brave. It was fucking amazing, little star. But none of that matters if you don't come back to me."

"I know," I whispered again.

A ragged breath slipped from his lips. "Do you remember when I asked you if it was worth it?" Love. He'd asked me if love was worth it, even if you lost them in the end. I nodded. "And you remember when you said that we should think about if this is what we really wanted? Being together?"

"Yes," I croaked out.

"It is. I never knew what it was like before—loving someone. But now I do. Of course, it's worth it, being with someone who makes you feel like the best version of yourself every day. Someone who burrows themselves so deep in your soul, you don't think you can get them out. Because you don't want them out. You want to hold on to them so tightly that they can't slip away."

My words were barely a whisper. "I won't slip away, Sylas."

A smile slipped over his lips. A big, beautiful, genuine smile. One that was worth every star in the galaxy. One I would do anything to keep on his face for the rest of our lives.

And to think, all those months ago, I'd thought he was the grumpiest man in existence. Now I knew about his secret soft side, the ooey gooey filling that he'd showed me every day. By caring for me, building Brina a home, and every single time he'd gone out of his way to cheer me up.

"I love you," Sylas said, and the words filled a void in my chest I hadn't even realized were there. "You're worth it. You're worth every risk. You said you can't be the reason I lose my dream. But that's where you're wrong, Rae. My dream isn't the federation, or even being captain."

"It's not?"

"No. It hasn't been. Not for a while." He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "You're my dream, Aurelia. Being with you is everything I could have ever asked for."

"I love you," I blurted, not able to hold it in any longer. "I don't know when it started, but I do. I know I called you a grumpy asshole before, but you're really not. You're this secret teddy bear. Like you have all this goodness inside of you, but you're afraid to show it to anyone else. You didn't grow up with examples of love, but you love harder than anyone I know, anyway. You're always taking care of everyone around you, and I want to be that person for you. Because you deserve every ounce of love that you give out. How could I not love you?"

He leaned his forehead against mine, that gorgeous smile still covering his face. I slid a hand onto his cheek, running my fingers over his short beard. "Aurelia…" Sylas's voice was low. Reverent.

"I know."

I raised onto my toes and pressed my lips to his. A soft, sensual kiss. But it quickly turned into something deeper. He kissed me like we'd never kissed before. It was something I'd waited my whole life for. To be kissed like this. To feel this much. Our lips meeting, over and over, as we barely came up for air. I didn't need any—he'd be my oxygen supply, for all I cared.

We were in perfect sync. Like our hearts were beating as one. He was the only thing in my orbit.

His erection pressed into my hip as I let out a moan into his mouth.

"Fuck," Sylas groaned. "I need you."

And suddenly, I was wearing too many clothes. "Yes," I agreed. I needed to feel him inside of me, needed to be reassured that this was real. That we were here. Nothing else mattered but the fact that we were here, together.

He slid my zipper down with his teeth, slowly revealing inches of skin.

"Sylas," I whispered. "They're outside?—"

"Don't care," he said, helping me out of the sleeves, before peeling the suit off my skin. I was slightly sweaty from my efforts, but Sylas didn't seem to care. He pushed my underwear to the side and plunged two fingers inside me without warning.

I cried out, because the sensation was too good. Too much. I was so full of him. He worked me till I could feel myself dripping around him, and I knew he was just making sure I was ready for him. Like always.

He was still fully dressed, me just in my bra and panties—which, frankly, seemed a little unfair.

"Do you want them to hear?" Sylas asked as his fingers hit that spot inside me that made me see stars, and I gasped.

"I don't care," I cried.

"Good. Let them hear how I fuck my girl. Because you are. You're mine."

"Yes," I agreed.

He unzipped his pants, freeing that magnificent cock.

"I'm not going to last very long after earlier," he admitted, cupping the back of my neck with his free hand.

"I don't care." I smiled against his lips. "Fuck me, Sylas."

"God, you're such a brat." He ran his fingers through my wetness one more time, before rubbing it all over his cock.

My eyes widened. That was—my cheeks flushed. Why was that so hot?

"Gonna fuck that attitude right out of you."

Holding my panties to the side, he guided his tip to my entrance, burying himself in my cunt in one stroke.

"Oh," I gasped, seeing stars. I was pretty sure I'd come just from him inserting it inside of me.

Sylas reached down, grabbing one of my knees and pulling it up towards his torso, giving me the most delicious stretch.

"So tight. This cunt was made for me, Aurelia. And I want to fill it up every day."

I didn't even know what he was saying anymore. I was blinded with pleasure as he rocked his hips into me, each thrust sending me towards the edge. He'd said he wouldn't last long, but dammit, I wasn't either.

"Sylas," I cried, my leg resting against his shoulder. I didn't even know what I was saying. All I knew was I was clutching onto him for dear life. Thank god I was pressed up against the wall, otherwise I wouldn't be standing. "Ohmygod." My vision went white. I saw stars.

Though some of that might have been the airlock itself.

Sylas grunted, and then I felt his warmth spill inside of me as his head slumped against my shoulder. The rest of his body was still wrapped against mine, and even if we'd just done it standing up—and in the airlock, for fuck's sake—I'd never felt so protected. So cherished.

Something was definitely wrong with me.

He pulled out, our combined releases coating his length, and then adjusted my underwear. I could feel his cum dribbling out of me.

Maybe that was his goal.

"Come on, baby. Let's go back to bed."

I nodded, taking his hand and letting him help me redress. My legs were weak, so I couldn't have done it by myself if I wanted to.

He carriedme back to his room—our room—and Brina came over, shaking her little otter-like tail and yipping at both of us.

I gathered her up in my arms, pressing kisses to her face.

Shit, I felt bad that we'd left her alone in here during all of that. I confessed my guilt to Sylas, who just scooped me up in his arms, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

All the while, our little alien pet curled back up in her bed, letting out a little sigh. I made a mental reminder to spoil her with fresh fish and a long swim later.

But for now, I had someone else on my mind. Our clothes were quickly shed on the floor. His cum was still inside of me, and when he pulled my underwear from my body, I felt a stream trickle down my leg.

His eyes flared as he watched it, and then his eyes met mine. My nipples hardened from his perusal down my naked form.

I didn't know why, but I suddenly felt shy. Not because we hadn't seen each other like this before—we were insatiable. Thank you, fertility blockers.

But because this was the first time after we'd said those three big words. I love you.

And all of me was laid bare now. My body, my heart. It was all his.

Wordlessly, Sylas brought me back into his arms, picking me up and carrying me across the room.

He laid me down on the bed. "Fucking beautiful." He kissed my ankle. My inner thigh. Then moved up—ignoring where I needed him most. Kissed my stomach. The swells of both of my breasts. My collar bone. My neck.

Then my lips.

And oh, I loved when he kissed me like this. With tongue. Deep. Like he couldn't get enough.

"Sy," I murmured, eyelids fluttering. "Your cum is still dripping out of me."

"Good," he said, a wicked grin on his lips. "I like it there."

His nostrils flared as he took in the heat in my eyes.

"Should we finish what we started earlier?" Pushing him down onto his back, I straddled him.

Guiding his length into my opening, I took him in fully, sinking down to the hilt. I meant what I'd told him earlier—in this position, I could feel him everywhere. I rested my hand on my stomach, pressing down lightly.

"Rae." Sylas's murmur was pained. "I need you to move."

I shook my head, feeling too much. Everything was different now.

He loved me.

I loved him.

For two people who were an unlikely match, a forbidden pairing, everything felt so raw. Real.

Sylas let me ride him for a few moments, before he sat up, bringing our chests together as he wrapped his arms around me.

My breasts pressed against his hard chest, the brush of my nipples against his skin sending sparks of pleasure down my spine.

He kissed me lazily, before rubbing his stubble over my cheek, pressing open-mouthed kisses to my neck. I couldn't help my whimper. It was too much. It wasn't enough.

My legs were behind him as I sat in his lap, his cock deep inside of me, all of that cum making me wetter than normal. One hand wrapped around my back, and his other across my hip as Sylas dropped his forehead against mine.

Tears pricked my eyes at all the emotion, but he didn't say anything.

Instead, he moved inside of me, a slow but sensuous pace. It was everything. It wasn't enough. His hips rocked against mine, helping me to move as he pulled out, leaving only the tip inside.

"I love you," he murmured, kissing my neck as he pushed inside of me once again.

I let out a breathy moan. "I love you."

He didn't pick up his pace, just continued that steady rhythm, and it was simultaneously the most intimate and erotic sexual experience of my life.

"You're mine," he murmured, coaxing me into bliss.

"Yours," I agreed, running my hand over his beard. "And you're mine."

He kissed my palm, and then we were lost in it.

In each other.

In all the love we felt for each other.

I gave a sleepy,blissful yawn as my eyes fluttered open later. I had no idea how much time had passed, but I woke up to find Sylas's form still wrapped around mine, one of his legs thrown over mine and almost every inch of our bodies pressed against each other.

He sleepily nuzzled his face into my boobs.

"Knew you were a tits guy," I said, brushing my fingers through his hair.

A smile crept over his face as he opened his eyes, looking up at me with those gorgeous deep blues. "You caught me."

I rested my head against his when he finally pulled back.

"Thank fuck no one interrupted us this time," he grumbled. "I thought I was going to lose my mind earlier."

"I wanted to tell you this morning," I mumbled. "How I felt. Before everything happened."

He cupped my cheek. "Me too. But I was worried that you wouldn't feel the same, and I'd scare you away."

I laughed. "If you didn't scare me away after you tried to kick me off the ship, what makes you think you'd be able to now?"

"Touché." A deep chuckle came from his throat. "I'm so fucking lucky you don't listen to me."

"Oh, you're going to regret saying that one day," I said, a wicked grin on my face. He reached down, tickling my skin, and I shrieked, pulling away from him.

Then my mood soured. Because everything was wonderful. Amazing, really. But we still had one big problem we hadn't solved.

"What's wrong?" He frowned, brushing my hair back off my forehead.

I sighed. "You know the federation won't be happy when they find out we're together." And as much as I loved the phrase, ask for forgiveness, not permission, I didn't quite think that would fly here.

"No. There's one good thing, though." A smile crept up his lips.

"What?" I furrowed my eyebrow. "You know I love the rules. I'm a stickler for them. I practically have the regulations tattooed on the insides of my eyelids." If that was a thing, it would have been extremely useful during my exams.

"We're millions of light years away from Earth. When do you think the soonest they'd receive a transmission about our… indecent transgressions?"

"Oh." He was right. Sure, it was wrong, but also… We weren't hurting anyone.

We were both adults with fully formed prefrontal cortexes. He hadn't manipulated me into being in a relationship with him.

"You know, I could always resign."

"No." He brushed my hair back, placing a kiss on my forehead. "This is your dream. Being a pilot. Following in your father's footsteps. I don't want you to give that up."

I laughed. "How is it possible that we can both say the same things, and neither one of us listens?"

But he was right. This was my dream. And I loved flying this starship. Being a pilot made me feel closer to my dad, but it was also my calling. I was damn good at it. Giving it up wouldn't be true to who I was.

Sure, for the next four something years, we'd be fine. We could finish our mission as captain and pilot and then present ourselves in front of the federation. Surely, they wouldn't find it fit to fire us both. Right? I chewed on my lip, contemplating that thought.

He gave me a grumpy expression, wrapping his arms around my waist and bringing me closer to his body. "I already told you my dreams changed. I want you."

Speaking of my father, a thought came to me. I hadn't been ready before, but I was now. "You said you found where the debris landed from my dad's ship? Where it all ended up?"

He nodded, explaining what he'd found on the flash drive.

"I know we have time, but I think… maybe soon… I'd like to go. To say goodbye. For closure."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Maybe it's strange, but now that I have those videos, I feel like I have a part of him back. And it's time to let go." A little tear rolled down my cheek. "I'll always miss him, but I can't hold on to the grief forever."

Sylas kissed my forehead. "Whenever you need me, or whenever you want to talk about him, you know I'm here."

"Thank you."

He brushed his fingers over my shoulder, tracing a line between my stars. I always wondered what pattern he found. "I think there's a way we can have it all." Sylas was so calm that I immediately looked up at him, letting myself sink into the view of those deep ocean eyes.

"How?" I blinked at him.

"Do you trust me?" He brushed a strand of hair back from my forehead.

"Of course." I buried my face in between his pecs. "I trust you more than anyone."

"Then… I think there's something we can do."

"Anything."

There wasn't a single thing I wouldn't do for—or with—this man.