14. Sylas

FOURTEEN

Shaking my hair out,I ran the towel over my chest, picking up the excess moisture before wrapping it around my waist.

I'd just finished swimming laps in the ship's pool, and thankfully, with the early morning, the locker room had been empty. Living and working on a starship had some drawbacks—namely, being away from civilization for a long period—but I wanted to find whoever put a pool on my ship and shake their hand.

Running my fingers through my damp hair, I looked at myself in the mirror. It was not a stretch to say that my body was a temple—a finely honed masterpiece. The amount of hours I spent working out to stay in shape showed. No one had complained about my abs, though, so I didn't think it was a bad thing.

Still, I let my eyes drift over my frame, wondering what I looked like from someone else's eyes. Hers, specifically.

Did I look too old? Would she think I was handsome? Why did I care? I didn't want to admit the reasons to myself.

That maybe I cared because I wanted her to be interested in me, the way I was in her. In those beautiful eyes I couldn't look away from. The long, brownish red hair that I was just dying to wrap my fist around. Those pink, plush lips that looked deliciously soft. Her hips?—

"Fuck," I muttered to myself, trying to will the thoughts away. "Stop thinking about her." I pointed at myself in the mirror, like commanding myself would be enough to get me to stop.

It wouldn't, but I could pretend.

How much longer could I hide my budding attraction to my pilot? Spending this much time with her wasn't helping. In fact, it was only making it worse. She had invaded all my senses, clouding up my thoughts with her.

Heading to the showers, I quickly rinsed off, eager to start my day.

Because being on the bridge meant I'd see her.

And if I was a damn fool for her, then so be it.

Pulling on a t-shirt and a pair of shorts, I dropped my towel in the bin, heading out of the pool area so I could take the turbo lifts back up to my floor.

Except all of my thinking about my little pilot seemed to have made her appear in front of me. She must have been in the gym, just a room away from me as I'd swam laps.

"Hi."

"Oh." Aurelia looked surprised to see me standing in front of her. Her cheeks were red, breathing rough, like she'd just finished an intense workout.

"We've really got to stop meeting like this, Lieutenant." I chuckled, surprised to find myself in high spirits.

Maybe it was because of the way she'd laughed last night when I'd made that joke to Leo. Maybe it was because I'd sat across from her, and I'd imagined what it would be like for her to smile at me instead. For those eyes to light up with that warmth when she looked at me. For all of them to be for me.

She looked around, like she was worried someone was going to catch us.

"What are you worried about?" I asked, my voice dropping to a low whisper as I held myself back from reaching out and wrapping a fist around her high ponytail. "We're not doing anything wrong."

"Captain." Her voice was breathless. "I?—"

A door slammed, and Aurelia jerked away from me, like we were standing mere inches apart versus several feet. She had a guilty blush on her face, which amused me.

What did she think we were doing together? Sure, I wanted to kiss her, but we hadn't done anything.

That didn't mean I hadn't imagined it. Maybe she had, as well.

"We shouldn't be alone together," she said, shaking her head. "Not anymore."

"But what about me helping you?"

Again, she shook her head, turning and heading towards the door. "I'll figure it out alone." Then she slipped out into the hallway of the ship without another look back at me.

Like hell she was doing this without me. I growled, catching the eye of a crew member walking by, and shook my head.

I needed to get my head on straight.

Or maybe I just needed her out of it.

How wasI going to stop thinking about her when I couldn't even stop looking at her?

I glanced over at Aurelia, sitting at her console with a smile on her face. We'd been spending more time together outside of the bridge, which somehow felt like a torture of my own making. Because now she wasn't just some beautiful officer out of reach.

Now I'd glimpsed at the woman underneath the uniform. I'd begun to know her. And she was light. Like pure, bright starlight. I'd never encountered another person who made me feel the way she did. I couldn't even describe it, but I just knew I was greedy for her attention. I wanted more of her time.

Her eyes connected with mine, and she gave me a hesitant smile. Brilliant.

How could one smile mess me up inside this much? Yes, I wanted her. There was no way to deny that. Not anymore. Physically, at least. She was still a stubborn brat, as much as she was sunshine incarnate to everyone else.

A growl slipped from my lips, and Kayle looked over at me, surprise in her eyes. "Something wrong?"

"No," I grunted. Nothing at all.

Definitely not the woman I'd been staring at all morning.

"The ship is getting ready to pass through its next warp point, Captain," Orion called out. "All navigation targets are on track."

"Perfect." His comment was a welcome distraction. It quickly had me barking out orders to the rest of the crew. We were almost there. And then the actual part of the mission would begin.

Exploring the unknown.

I had to focus on that, and not the girl I couldn't get out of my mind. This was too important.

Somehow,it felt like my body had developed a honing beacon to Aurelia Callisto's current location. That was the only reason we kept ending up in the same places, day after day. It had to be.

Even though it no longer felt like a burden. Now, I was intrigued. I wanted to get to know her better.

The mess hall was quiet—mostly on account of it being an off-time for meals, and she was sitting alone at a table, slowly picking at her food.

Part of me knew I should have walked away. I was already spending enough time with her, agreeing to help her with this asinine task. Having her in my room alone was bad enough. Adding to that seemed like adding fuel to the fire.

Still, I couldn't stop my feet. Clearing my throat, I got Aurelia's attention, and then gestured to the place across the table from her. "Can I sit?"

She gave me a brief nod, her fork pushing food across her plate as I sat down, placing my tray on the table. Dropping the utensil, she exhaled and then said, "Hi."

The corner of my lip tilted up in a smirk. "Hey."

"I didn't expect to see you here, sorry." She waved her hand.

"You don't have to apologize for that." I frowned, hating that she was always apologizing to me. Did she truly think I was so horrible? "Is everything okay?"

Aurelia looked over her shoulder, glancing around before turning back to me. "Yes. Of course. I just—" She sighed. "I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. Like I'm failing my dad. I just…"

"You're not." I reassured her immediately. "You've already gotten farther than any federation member who had this information."

I couldn't believe they'd sat on it for over twelve years and found nothing. They'd declared the ship as destroyed, and the crew dead, but other than that… No one had ever seen the wreckage. Never found out what happened. And that was the thing about me. Once I was curious about something, I couldn't let it go.

I was damn curious about this.

And about Aurelia Callisto.

"I guess that's true. I just…" A groan slipped from her lips, and she rested her head against the table. "I don't know what it's like to fail. I've always excelled at everything. No matter what I did, it made sense to me. It came easily. This is…"

"A whole new ballgame," I said, nodding. "That's why you have to bring in the experts. New coaches."

She laughed, the motion making her eyes crinkle at the corner. "Is that what we're doing? You're my new coach?"

"Well, you are looking at a man who graduated with a computer science degree. If there's anything on there, I can find it."

A strange expression formed over her face, and I knit my brows together. "What? What is it?"

"I guess I just… Didn't think about that. You having something you were good at."

"Okay, ouch."

"That's not what I meant. It's just… You're the Captain. You tell everyone else what to do. It's strange to imagine you underneath a piece of machinery, trying to fix it. Or redoing a piece of code so a program could run. I don't know." She giggled.

"I think everyone should experience what it's like, you know? To understand the struggle of every crew member. Hard work is important to me. So is humility."

A snort left her mouth, and I glared at her. "Sorry. It's just you and humble don't belong in the same sentence."

I crossed my arms over my chest, glaring at her. "You don't even know me." Not really. She only knew the man I presented to the rest of the crew. And maybe that was my mistake.

"No," she agreed, resting her elbows on the table and placing her head in her hands. "But I think I'd like to." Aurelia fluttered her eyelashes. "Right now, you're one big mystery."

I hummed in response. It was easy to forget that while I had her file, every piece of information stored in the federation's system about her, she didn't have mine. "What do you want to know?"

She leaned close, staring at my face for a moment. "Why are you doing this?" Aurelia murmured, low enough that no one else around could overhear us. "Helping me?"

"Am I not allowed to do something nice for you?" I quirked an eyebrow.

She snorted, giving me an eye roll. "You know what I mean."

That was the question of the hour, wasn't it? Why did I want to help her? Was it those enchanting eyes that had me under their spell since the first moment I'd set mine on her? Was it the stubborn determination in her face, the way she wouldn't give up?

Or was it something else entirely? Something I shouldn't be feeling.

Her captain. That's what I was. Nothing more. And I couldn't be anything more.

I sighed. My actual reasoning felt too personal. So as much as I wanted to share it now, it wasn't the time. I rubbed at my face. "Because someone helped me when I needed it, and I want to return the favor now." It was as much as I could offer.

She dipped her head in response.

"Why Captain?" She leaned back in her chair, satisfied that she could now interrogate me freely.

I shrugged. "It wasn't my original goal, but once I joined the federation and started rising through the ranks, I quickly set my sights on getting my own ship."

Some of my mentors called me obstinate, uncompromising. They assumed that I didn't like to take orders. I might have been headstrong, especially in my youth, but I didn't mind being told what to do. As long as those orders made sense. Sometimes people got so stuck behind red tape that they never took risks—never took a chance at actually living. I didn't want to operate like that.

But have you really been living? Some part of my brain pestered me, and I didn't have a response. Maybe having more responsibility made me see things differently. Because now, I wasn't just the Captain of a starship. I was also the one entrusted with the safety of every passenger aboard.

"And you did it. Youngest captain in the fleet."

"I did." I nodded. "When they told me she was mine, I…" I shook my head. "I didn't believe them. Thought they were pulling my leg. Maybe some sort of ritual. But no. They really entrusted me with a multi-billion credit project." I swallowed roughly. Honestly, I tried not to think too much about that. About how much rested on my shoulders.

If I did, the weight would be overbearing.

She asked me more questions about my life. Growing up with Kayle. What kinds of things I liked. I answered as honestly as possible, not wanting to dump my personal problems on her. But I shared with her my favorite sports. That I'd once stayed up all night in college trying to beat my personal best on a video game. How I'd learned to code, and realized I was good at it. I didn't tell her about the only reason I'd been able to go to college. How every year before that had been a struggle to survive.

I was dying to ask her my own questions, but this was for her. And I hoped there would be time for that in the future.

"It's getting late," I said, looking up at the clock. We'd spent two hours sitting here, and the mess hall was essentially empty now. Our empty trays sat in front of us, food long since finished.

"I should get back to my cabin," she said, her voice quiet. Like maybe… she didn't want to go, as much as I didn't want this to end.

"I'll walk you back," I offered. It was the gentlemanly thing to do, even if it was secretly selfish.

"You don't have to do that."

"I don't," I agreed. "But I want to. So let me."

"Okay." The word was a concession, but I didn't miss the way her lip tugged up into an almost smile.

We walked in a comfortable silence from the mess hall to the turbo lifts, taking the short ride back to the officer's floor.

She turned to face me as we reached her door. "Thank you. For tonight. For… answering my questions. I appreciate it."

"Of course. I'll always tell you whatever you want to know." That was a promise.

Aurelia stepped closer to me, close enough that I could feel her body heat. The top of her boots pressed against mine, and all I wanted to do was to eliminate those last few inches between us.

Her eyes dipped to my lips and then flickered back up to my eyes. It was impossible not to do the same to her. They were the most beautiful shade of pink, and I wondered if they were as soft as they looked. How she'd taste. Sweet, like the drinks she always seemed to sip on?

I reached out, cupping her cheek with my hand. Running my thumb over her cheekbone. Touching her. She was like forbidden fruit, and I wanted to take a bite.

"Aurelia…" I murmured, tracing a finger over her lips.

I wanted to kiss her so badly. Fuck, but it was wrong, and yet… there was no denying this attraction between us. That she yearned to be kissed as much as I longed to kiss her.

But we shouldn't. We couldn't.

"Captain…" she said only, her voice husky, more breath than anything else.

"Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" Aurelia fluttered her eyelashes.

"Like you want me to kiss you."

She bit her lip, slowly letting the pink lush skin run through her teeth. "Goodnight, Captain."

"Goodnight," I finally responded.

The door closed behind her, and I knew no matter what I did, I'd never be able to get the sight of her out of my mind.