Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

T ap. Tap. Tap. Scratch. Tap.

Simon sat at slumped over his desk, absently tapping a quill against the edge of a ledger, but his mind was elsewhere.

This morning had got off to a rough start. Fearing that meeting Harriet for breakfast would only worsen the storm raging inside of his heart, he had opted to take his breakfast in the study.

A yawn escaped him, wide and uncontrollable, and he rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand, but it did little to chase away the fog that clouded his thoughts.

Of course, how could he have forgotten? He barely got a wink of sleep the night before. The dark circles rimming his eyes, and the frequent yawning was testament to that.

To his chagrin, avoiding Harriet had not seemed to work in the slightest. He kept thinking about her, no matter what he did.

And thinking about their kiss.

His conversation with Anthony the previous evening had provided some clarity, but the weight of his responsibilities — and the complexities of his emotions — still hung heavily over him.

A loud knock on the door interrupted his thoughts, followed by his butler entering, who bowed slightly.

“Your Grace, your brother Lord Tobias is here to see you.”

“Tobias?” Simon looked up from his desk, wrinkling his nose. “Has he brought a woman along with him?”

If Tobias was going to pull another one of his antics, Simon had no time for him.

“Not that I could see, Your Grace.”

“Very well, then,” Simon sighed, setting the quill down and standing up. “Show him in.”

A moment later, Tobias strolled into the study, his usual carefree demeanor in place.

He wore a slightly rumpled jacket, and his hair was tousled, as if he hadn’t bothered to make himself presentable before arriving. Something that would have given their very prim and proper mother a heart attack.

“Simon!” Tobias greeted, spreading his arms wide as if they were the closest of brothers. “How have you been?”

Simon kept his expression neutral. “What do you want, Tobias?”

Tobias’s smile faltered slightly, but he quickly recovered. “Straight to the point, as always. Can’t a man visit his brother without an ulterior motive?”

“You can,” Simon replied coolly. “But you never do. Do you have new information about the baby, or are you here to waste more of my time?”

Tobias chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck in a gesture that might have been sheepish if Simon didn’t know him better.

“None of those things, my dear brother, none of those things,” he admitted, and then seated himself on the sofa. He kicked his feet in front of him, lounging as though he had finally had a moment to relax after a difficult day.

Simon pressed his lips together. “Then, I should see to it that the butler escorts you out immediately…”

Simon had only stood up halfway when Tobias rushed over to him, pushing him back down on the seat. A rare pleading expression on his face.

“Brother, come on. Must you be this hasty? This home belongs to me, as well, you know. For I grew up within its walls. Is it really too bad for me to visit?” his words were coming out rushed, and Simon knew that none of them were sincere.

“Do not take me for a fool,” Simon brushed off his brother’s hand from his shoulders. “What is it that you are here for exactly?”

Tobias shuffled his feet, and awkwardly rubbed the side of his arm.

“Well, you’ve caught me. I’m in a bit of a bind, Simon.”

“A bind?” Simon’s eyebrow shot up. Have you fathered yet another child? Simon could not put it past his brother to do just that.

Tobias continued his nervous pacing. “I need some funds — just a small loan, really, to tide me over.”

Simon crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes narrowing. “And what will you do with this ‘loan’, Tobias? Gamble it away? Spend it on another foolish endeavor?”

Tobias’s smile faded completely now, replaced by a more serious expression. “It’s not like that, Simon. I’ve been… rethinking some things. Trying to get my life in order.”

Simon raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical. “And how do you plan to do that, exactly?”

Tobias hesitated, and for a moment, Simon thought he might actually confess to something genuine. But then the familiar glint returned to his eyes, and Simon knew better than to trust it.

“Look, Simon, I’m not asking for much. Just enough to get by,” Tobias said, his tone more pleading now. “I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

Simon studied his brother for a long moment, weighing his options. He could easily deny Tobias the money, send him on his way, and be done with it. But something in the back of his mind — a nagging thought that had been growing since the previous night — made him pause.

“If I’m to give you anything, Tobias, there’s something I need you to do first,” Simon said, his voice firm.

Tobias looked wary, but he nodded. “All right. What is it?”

“I want you to see Cathy,” Simon replied, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Tobias blinked, clearly taken aback. “Cathy? You mean… the baby?”

“Yes,” Simon said, his gaze steady. “If you’re going to ask for my help, I think it’s only fair that you face the consequences of your actions.”

Tobias shifted uncomfortably, but after a moment, he sighed and nodded. “Fine. I’ll see her.”

Simon didn’t miss the reluctance in Tobias’s voice, but he wasn’t about to let him off the hook.

“We shall do it now. Come on, then. Follow me.”

He turned and led the way out of the study, heading toward the nursery where Catherine was being cared for. Tobias followed behind him, being uncharacteristically silent.

Was he scared to see his own daughter? His demeanor seemed to indicate as much. It was uncharacteristic of his brother, however. In all his years of knowing Tobias, Simon was not sure if he had ever seen him scared of… well, anything.

“I want to show you that your actions have real consequences,” Simon heeded as they approached the nursery.

He wasn’t sure what to expect from this encounter — Tobias had never shown much interest in anything that didn’t directly benefit him. But he wanted Tobias to meet his daughter — a small part of him hoping, however foolishly, that seeing her in the flesh might stir something in his brother that had always been missing in his life — a sense of responsibility.

“I suppose I’m as ready as I’ll ever be…” Tobias voice was muted, and Simon caught how he had conveniently tucked his hands away into the depths of his pockets to hide the fact that they were shaking.

When they entered the nursery, Harriet was already inside, sitting on the floor playing with Catherine. The baby’s laughter filled the room, a bright, joyful sound that could melt even the most rigid of hearts.

Harriet was so involved with Catherine that she had not even noticed them standing in the doorway, watching her. Her face was lit up with a bright smile, and the sparkle in her eyes was hard to ignore as she entertained the infant.

And it looked as though it was working very well. Cathy was giggling uncontrollably, her tiny hands clapping in delight as Harriet stacked the blocks for her to knock over.

It was a sight to behold, and as Simon glanced to his side, he noticed that he was not the only one transfixed by the whole thing.

Tobias had come to a halt beside Simon, peering in the nursery from the side of the door. His expression was unreadable.

For a long moment, none of them bothered to speak. It almost seemed that their observance could go on forever, if Harriet continued playing with Catherine.

At least he hasn’t bolted at the sight, Simon affirmed to himself. That alone was a promising start from his otherwise fickle brother, whose placid expression gave little away as to what he was truly feeling.

“You alright there?” Simon whispered to him, and Tobias jerked to the side, as though someone had just awoken him for a dream.

The slight commotion alerted Harriet of their presence, who was now glancing up at him, the smile on her face quickly faltering as she noticed Tobias.

Immediately, she scooped Catherine into her arms protectively and got up from the floor. There was an unmistakable coldness in her eyes as she looked at Tobias, a wariness for which Simon couldn’t blame her.

Simon stepped forward, sensing that this was the right moment to intervene.

“Harriet,” he said gently, “this is my brother, Tobias. I wanted him to meet Catherine”

Harriet’s gaze flicked to Simon, and for a moment, he thought she might refuse. But then, with a sigh, she nodded and looked back at Tobias. “Lord Tobias,” she said, her tone cool and formal.

Tobias shifted awkwardly, clearly uncomfortable under Harriet’s scrutiny.

“Duchess of Atherton,” he replied, his voice uncharacteristically subdued.

His gaze, however, was drawn to Catherine, who was peering at him with wide, curious eyes.

Simon began to wonder if this was even a good idea or not. Harriet was guarding Catherine close to her chest, and Tobias clearly had no experience with babies.

Should he have thought this through?

Tobias cleared his throat, loudly. “I… well, I have to say, this is quite the surprise. I was not expecting this when I came to visit. But I have to say that — well, it’s quite..”

Simon realized that his brother’s rambling was out of nervousness. Once again, it was quite uncharacteristic for him to behave in this manner. It almost made Simon sympathize with him.

“Tobias,” Simon pulled him forward, inside the nursery. “You can take a closer look at her.”

Simon could feel Harriet shoot a warning glare in his direction at the suggestion, but he decided to ignore it for now. Catherine was Tobias’s daughter, after all — no matter how inept he was as a father.

Tobias wrung out his hands in front of him, as one does to a freshly washed piece of linen. He had been sweating bullets.

“May I… may I hold her?” he croaked, taking a hesitant step forward.

Harriet’s grip on Cathy tightened instinctively, her gaze flicking to Simon for reassurance. Simon gave her a small nod, silently urging her to trust him.

With clear reluctance, Harriet stepped forward and gently passed Cathy to Tobias, her movements careful and deliberate. She didn’t take her eyes off them for a second, her worry and protectiveness etched into every line of her face.

Then, Tobias finally took Catherine in his arms, his movements awkward and uncertain.

“Careful!” Harriet leapt toward him when it seemed like he would drop her for a moment but he regained his balanced quickly.

Catherine, unfazed by her new position, simply looked up at him with her bright eyes, her tiny hands reaching for his face.

Tobias’s expression softened, and for a brief moment, Simon saw something in his brother’s eyes that he hadn’t seen in years — genuine emotion.

Tobias stared down at the baby in his arms, mesmerized by her innocence and her pure joy. Catherine giggled and grabbed a lock of his hair, tugging on it with surprising strength for someone so small.

“Ow,” Tobias muttered, though there was no real pain in his voice. He glanced at Simon, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. “She’s stronger than she looks.”

Simon found himself smiling back, though the feeling was bittersweet. “She is,” he agreed, his voice quiet. He watched as Tobias struggled to hold Cathy properly, his movements awkward and clumsy.

Without thinking, Simon stepped forward and adjusted Tobias’s grip, showing him how to support Cathy’s head and body.

“Here, like this,” he instructed, his tone almost fatherly. “You need to hold her more securely.”

As Simon guided Tobias’s hands, he couldn’t help but think back to when he had first held Catherine.

He had been just as uncertain, just as clumsy. But Harriet had been there to show him, to scold him even.

Funny how he was the one doing it for his brother now.

Harriet watched the interaction unfold with a mix of emotions swirling inside of her.

When Tobias has first walked into the room, Harriet’s first reaction had been that of horror. How else was she supposed to react to a father who had abandoned his child?

But then, it developed into a curiosity. She could not take her eyes off Simon and Tobias interacting with Catherine — the two men who, in different ways, were responsible for this child’s existence.

Simon’s gentle scolding of Tobias, the way he helped him hold Cathy properly, only made her heart ache more.

Simon would make a good father.

The thought came unbidden, and took Harriet by surprise. She had never thought of him in that way before, but now, it was as though the thought threatened to consume her.

It brought with it a rush of feelings that Harriet wasn’t sure she could handle.

She had never been one to dream of having a family, of being a mother. But now, with Catherine in her life, she couldn’t imagine a future without the little girl — and without Simon.

“There,” Simon said to his brother, both of them too busy with Catherine to notice the storm of emotion that was brewing inside Harriet, “I think you are getting the hang of it slowly.”

Harriet could not look away, and she could not ignore the cinching feeling in her chest. The yearning.

What if Tobias takes Catherine away?

She had always prided herself on her independence, on not needing anyone else to complete her life. But now, the thought of losing Catherine filled her with a deep, aching grief.

At the thought, tears began to well in her eyes and a lump formed in her throat.

Unable to bear it any longer, Harriet turned away, murmuring, “Excuse me,” before quickly leaving the room.

She did not even wait for a response. She needed to get away, to collect herself before her emotions overwhelmed her completely.

Where is she going?

Simon noticed Harriet’s departure immediately, and felt the urge to follow her out.

“Do you think you can handle her?” Simon asked, looking at his brother.

Tobias seemed lost in his own little world, scarcely registering what Simon had said. Catherine seemed similarly transfixed with him.

“Never mind then, I’ll be right back,” he mumbled under his breath. On his way out of the nursery, he called for the maids to assist his brother.

“Where could she have gone?” Simon asked, as Harriet was nowhere to found in the hallway. With rushed movements, he arrived outside the door to her bedroom.

He found it ajar, and inside, he noticed Harriet slumped over the side of her bed, her hair out of place and soft whimpers arising from her throat.

He swallowed roughly, and then made his way inside.

“Harriet…”