Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

H arriet had always wanted the duke to confide in her with the same openness that he was displaying to her in this moment.

But somehow, she had never expected that he would. Let alone in the middle of their dance.

“You are not your father, Simon,” she tried to reassure him. She could see the pain in his eyes — how long had he hidden it from the world?

It was heartbreaking as much as it was astounding.

She could see the fear in his eyes, the lingering doubt that had haunted him for so long. But she also saw the man he truly was — kind, honorable, and far different from the figure he seemed so desperate not to become.

“I try to fight it,” he admitted, “It is in my blood, after all. But I think my brother lost that battle long ago.”

“Your brother?” Harriet was surprised. She had never before heard Simon speak of his brother.

“You’ve heard the rumors about my brother, I’m sure. Tobias… he’s a rogue, just like our father. He’s always been reckless, irresponsible, never thinking about the consequences of his actions.”

Harriet nodded, though she did not ever listen to gossip to know of these rumors.

“Was he the person who visited today?” she asked.

Simon exhaled a deep sigh, and then nodded. “Indeed.”

“Then why did you keep this from me? If I knew that your relationship was so strained — perhaps I could have helped…”

He did not let her finish her sentence. “I did not want you to get involved. The situation is….more complex than you might imagine.”

Harriet almost stopped her movements, and squared up to him. But she did not want to draw attention on them, so she kept her expression pleasant — even though she felt more confused than ever, and talked only in soft tones.

“I do not wish to imagine. You must tell me.”

Simon hesitated for a moment, his gaze locked with hers. “I believe Catherine is his daughter.”

The shock of his words sent a chill through Harriet, her breath catching in her throat. “His daughter? But… how can you be sure?”

Simon’s expression hardened. “When Catherine was left on our doorstep, I didn’t know who she belonged to. But after some investigation, I found out that Tobias had been frequenting certain less reputable places. When I confronted him, he all but admitted that he had been involved with several women around the time Catherine was born. He doesn’t know who the mother is, and frankly, I’m not sure he cares.”

“What about the mother? Do you know who she is?”

Harriet’s mind was reeling. All this time — Simon knew? Or at least, he had a hunch? And he did not think it important to let her know?

“It could have been any one of the maids or women he’s dallied with. But I suspect that whoever she is, she wasn’t able to care for Catherine and thought that leaving her with us would give her a better life.”

Harriet’s tears began to well up in her eyes, though she quickly tried to blink them away as to not cause a scene.

If this was true, then what did it mean for Catherine’s future? She could see the disdain on Simon’s face for his brother. Did he feel the same disdain for Catherine?

The thought itself was enough to suffocate her, and leave her gasping for air.

“Simon… she’s just a baby. She didn’t ask for any of this.”

Simon’s jaw tightened, “I know that, Harriet. But Catherine is not my responsibility. She’s his, and he needs to face the consequences of his actions.”

Harriet could hardly believe a word of what he was saying.

“But she’s here now, Simon. She’s with us. We can’t just turn our backs on her because of what Tobias did.”

“I’m not suggesting we turn our backs on her, but…” He hesitated, the words sticking in his throat.

“But what?” Harriet pressed.

“It’s hard… it’s hard not to see Tobias’s actions every time I look at her.”

Harriet could tell that the admission was a difficult one for him. In normal situations, she would have tried to console him over it.

But right now, she felt a deep rage. A rage and a sadness — at how unfair this whole thing was for Catherine. The only person who was the most vulnerable to all of this.

She looked back at Simon, conflicted as to what she should feel about this situation.

And then, the music came to a stop.

“Why are you so quiet?” Simon asked as he led her out the dance floor. “You said that you wished for me to be honest with you, and I was.”

Harriet clicked her tongue together, suddenly uninterested in everything that was going on around her.

“I wish to go home, Simon.”

Well, that certainly hadn’t gone as intended.

The carriage ride back to the estate was a silent one, the tension between Simon and Harriet palpable. Simon kept his eyes forward, hands clasped in his lap, while Harriet stared out of the window.

The conversation at the ball weighed heavily on him — he had never intended to reveal so much, but the words had spilled out. And now, as they rode in silence, he could feel the anger radiating off her in waves.

He didn’t know what to say, or even if he should say anything. Harriet had been right, of course. Catherine was not to blame for Tobias’s actions, and it wasn’t fair to treat her as though she were. But even as he acknowledged this, there was a part of him that still struggled with the resentment he felt toward his brother, resentment that had now bled into his marriage, affecting everything between him and Harriet.

When they finally arrived home, Simon stepped out of the carriage and turned to offer Harriet his hand.

She did not take it, and instead hurried over the steps to make her way inside.

So this is how she’s going to be….

Once they were both inside, Harriet began to walk toward the stairs, but Simon couldn’t let her go like this.

“Harriet,” he called, his voice low but firm.

She stopped, her hand resting on the banister as she turned to look at him. Then, she narrowed her eyes at him.

The scene looked like something from a romance novel. Despite her anger, she still looked gorgeous to him.

“We need to talk,” Simon said, taking a step closer to her.

Harriet raised an eyebrow, her voice clipped as she replied, “I think we’ve said enough for one night, don’t you?”

“No, we haven’t,” Simon pressed his lips together. “I am in no mood to have tension between us moving forward because of my brother. He has caused harm enough.”

Harriet’s eyes narrowed again, and for a moment, Simon thought she might simply turn and leave. But instead, she let out a huff of breath and turned to face him fully, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Fine,” she said, her voice icy.

Simon clenched his jaw, biting back the retort that rose to his lips. She was being difficult again.

“You’re angry with me,” he began, trying to keep his voice steady.

“Brilliant deduction,” Harriet shot back, sarcasm lacing her words.

Simon felt his patience fraying, “I meant what I said about my brother. You may have your issues with it — but frankly, it is a topic that is not as simple as you may like to think. Especially when it concerns our marriage.”

Harriet’s expression darkened, and she took a step closer to him. “Our marriage? You mean the marriage you abandoned the moment it began? The marriage you’ve spent the past few months ignoring while I’ve been left to fend for myself?”

Simon did not respond immediately, but that did not stop Harriet from continuing on.

“Did you forget that marriage was your responsibility as well? It is certainly a vow — a promise that you make. No bride expects her husband to leave her the next day….”

“I did it to protect you,” he said through gritted teeth. “You know that. I have told you that.”

“Protect me?” Harriet’s voice rose, incredulous. “Protect me from what, Simon?”

She was beyond the point of coming back from her anger now. When it came to Catherine, it was as though Harriet transformed into a different person entirely.

Simon was silent for a moment. He did not want to answer directly.

“What is it, then?” Harriet got even closer to him. “What is the big threat that somehow you see but I do not? Why did you put all that distance between us? What were you protecting me from?”

“From me,” he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper.

For a moment, they both stood there, frozen in place. His confession had an impact. The anger in her expression wavered, replaced by something else — something softer, more vulnerable.

Something that Simon had never seen from her before.

“What are you talking about?” she asked, her voice quieter now, as if she couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing.

Simon ran a hand through his hair, “I didn’t want to hurt you, Harriet. I didn’t want to become the man my father was. I thought that by keeping my distance, I was doing the right thing. I thought I was protecting you.”

“You thought you were protecting me by abandoning me? By leaving me to deal with everything on my own?” Harriet asked, the softness of the moment subsided and her anger returning worse than before.

“Yes — and it was?—”

“I am so tired of people making decisions for me!” she exclaimed, cutting him off. Her hands were shaking now, and her voice had a little tremor. “First my parents, now you. You can’t decide how I feel, Simon. You can’t decide whether I want to be protected or not. That’s my decision to make!”

Simon felt as if he had been struck. He had never considered it from her perspective.

As Harriet’s voice rose, her frustration clear in every word, Simon could feel his own composure beginning to slip. The anger in her eyes, the hurt in her voice — this was exactly what he had tried to avoid, yet here they were, standing on the edge of an argument that threatened to undo everything. He clenched his fists at his sides, trying to keep his temper in check, but it was becoming increasingly difficult.

Don’t look at me with hurt in your eyes , Simon thought desperately, his chest tightening with a familiar ache. “This is what I tried to avoid. I left to protect you, to protect us, but I’m only making it worse.”

Harriet’s voice grew sharper. “How can you decide my future so quickly? This isn’t what I wanted, and this scandal was not even my fault!” Her voice cracked slightly, and Simon felt something inside him snap.

He took a step closer to her, his jaw tightening as he struggled to maintain control. “Harriet, I—” he began, but she cut him off, her voice rising in intensity.

“Is it in my best interest to thrust me into a marriage of convenience with a man I barely know?” she demanded.

Simon’s heart pounded in his chest, I can’t stand it when you look like this, he thought, his frustration boiling over.

“Say that again,” he said, his voice low and intense as he stepped even closer to her. His eyes bore into hers, searching for something — anything — that could bridge the growing chasm between them.

Harriet faltered, her breath hitching at the sudden change in his demeanor. But she refused to back down. “I said, I don’t want to be forced into a life I didn’t choose,” she repeated.

“What…” he measured his words carefully, knowing that the smallest thing could set off a fuse, “what would your decision have been?”

“I would have wanted you to stay!” Harriet’s voice was raised, but she had never looked so soft to him before.

So vulnerable.

Without thinking, he reached out and pulled her to him, his lips crashing down on hers in a fierce, desperate kiss. Harriet gasped in surprise, but after a moment, she responded, her hands clutching at his jacket as she kissed him back with equal fervor.

For a few precious moments, the world fell away. All that existed was the two of them, the heat of their embrace, and the intensity of the emotions that had been simmering between them for so long.

He felt it. He felt something. That kiss… it was like he had waited for this moment his entire life. Simon’s mind raced, overwhelmed by the depth of his feelings for her — feelings he had been trying to deny for far too long.

But then, just as suddenly as it had begun, the moment was shattered by the sound of a baby crying from upstairs.

Simon pulled away quickly, his breath coming in ragged gasps. Harriet looked just as shaken, her lips parted, her eyes wide as she tried to process what had just happened.

“I…” Simon began, but Harriet shook her head, stepping back and placing a hand on his chest to keep him at a distance.

“I need to go and see Cathy,” she said, her voice still trembling with emotion.

With that, she took off, leaving him to stare at her retreating figure.

He stood there for a long moment, his thoughts racing as he tried to make sense of what had just happened. He had kissed her, and not just out of passion, but out of a desperate need to keep her close, to stop her from pushing him away.

And that… he had liked it.

He leaned against the doorframe, burying his head in his hands.

Things had just gotten more complicated than he had ever intended them to.