Chapter Ten

Jake

T he storm was definitely over, because apparently the sun was back. With my eyes still closed, I could sense golden light. When I reached blindly for Cora, she was still beside me in the drawer, her chest rising and falling. She usually woke before sunrise, but the time change had probably messed her up.

Blinking sleepily, I didn’t understand what I was looking at. Then I shook off the cobwebs and sat up, gazing around the cabin in wonder. Turned out that it was indeed still early and dark outside.

But inside, sparkly ornaments hung from doorknobs, and a small artificial tree decked in little ornaments and rainbow fairy lights sat on the edge of the hearth with a glittery star on top.

“Merry Christmas,” Cam said from the top of a step ladder by the foot of the bed. Still in his PJs, he was using duct tape to string golden lights on the ceiling around the cabin perimeter and was almost finished. Tail wagging, Toby circled the step ladder.

“Holy shit!” I exclaimed. “Er, shoot. Darn. Something. Whatever! This is…wow. Where did you get these?”

“Mrs. Pinter gave me a box of decorations years ago. I figured there was no sense in bothering when it was just me and Toby.” He ripped off another strip of tape with his teeth, which made me incredibly horny. “Thought Cora might like it. It’s her first Christmas, after all.” He shrugged. “Thought you might like it too.”

Careful not to jostle Cora, I crawled to the end of the bed and pushed up on my knees, reaching for Cam’s flannel-covered hips. I just needed to touch him. “Thank you.”

“Sure.” He smoothed one hand over my messy hair. “Better the stuff gets used.”

“I wish I’d kept the decorations from when I was a kid. I barely took anything when we cleaned out the house since I didn’t have room in Toronto. There are a couple of boxes of pictures and stuff in Uncle Steve’s garage. Assuming he hasn’t tossed them, but I don’t think he would. Even Uncle Steve isn’t that cold.”

“Jesus, I hope not.” Cam stepped down to the floor and kissed me. I melted into his arms—and Cora woke with a fussy cry.

We sighed, and I said, “Welcome to parenthood,” then sputtered. “I—I didn’t mean—not that you’re—I was just—I should get her.”

Cam nodded with an awkward chuckle. “I’ll finish the lights.”

I’d never even thought about dating as a single father—who had the time?—but I’d scare him off in no time with talk like that.

Not that we’re dating. Stop jumping ahead and just enjoy Christmas.

“The decorations really are beautiful,” I said. “Thank you.”

“It’s nothing. They were collecting dust.” Back on the step ladder, he shrugged. “I don’t really know what else goes into a baby’s first Christmas, but I figured decorations helped.”

“I guess it’s just like a normal Christmas? Unless I missed a memo on special activities.” Grimacing, I lifted a squirming Cora from her drawer. “Probably did. The mommy influencers will be up at dawn baking organic gingerbread and whipping up a handcrafted stocking with locally sourced felt.”

Cam made a show of checking his watch. “It’s not too late.”

In my arms, Cora settled for the moment, so I relaxed back against the headboard and snuggled under the covers. “We would always have pancakes Christmas morning. Blueberry. Then my parents would bicker about the syrup because my dad loved the fake kind.”

Cam wrinkled his nose, which was all kinds of adorable. “No, no. It has to be maple syrup. That fake sugar liquid is…unCanadian.”

“Agreed! But Dad loved it. And Mom would complain, but there was always a bottle in the pantry at Christmas.”

Cam hung the last length of lights with a final sexy rip of tape. “The mommy people on the internet definitely use duct tape, right?”

“Absolutely. It’s industrial chic Christmas.”

Cam’s teeth flashed as he smiled under the golden lights, and my god , he was absolutely gorgeous.

I asked, “What did you have for breakfast Christmas morning? Growing up, I mean.”

“Hm.” He sat on the side of the bed, idly rubbing my knee through the duvet. “Usually just cereal. Dad had to be out here with the herd some Christmases, so we’d wait until he got home to open presents. We didn’t have much lunch because turkey and stuffing were coming.” His thumb circled my kneecap. “Pancakes sound awfully good, though.”

I brightened. “We could make some.”

“We could?” He raised a dubious brow.

As Cora grunted, I said, “Sure. It can’t be that hard.”

“What’s in pancakes?”

“Um…flour?”

“Yep, sounds right.”

“Some kind of milk? Maybe some of that baking powder. Or the other one. Soda? Maybe baking soda. And blueberries, or whatever you want to put in.”

“Right. So, I don’t have any of those things.”

We laughed, and Cora wriggled and squawked. I had to get up and start her routine, but it was so warm under the covers, and Cam’s hand was heavy and comforting.

He said, “We’ll do blueberry pancakes for her second Christmas.”

We.

God, I loved that word, even though Cam surely wasn’t being literal. He didn’t mean anything by it.

Still, I couldn’t stop smiling. “No biggie. She’s not even on solid foods yet.” I lifted her and asked, “Would madam like the formula or the formula?” Cora whined and blew a spit bubble. “Ah, excellent choice.”

She caught sight of the Christmas tree, reaching for it and kicking as I finally got up. “Isn’t that pretty?” I asked her. “It’s the most perfect tree I’ve ever seen.”

“Come on, now.” Cam shook his head, but he was clearly pleased.

Before diaper time, I had to kiss him again.

“Shh—” I broke off.

“Shucks?” Cam suggested from where he fried bacon on the hot plate. “Shhh-ugar?”

I laughed weakly, and Cam’s shrewd gaze found me. All traces of teasing had vanished. “What?” he asked plainly.

“Almost out of formula. We need to get to town tomorrow.”

The idea of leaving settled in my stomach like a lump of coal as I warmed Cora’s bottle and monitored her tummy time on the carpet. Toby had been released outside to frolic in the early morning light.

The list of responsibilities and chores ticked through my mind. It was like we’d been inside a snow globe in Cam’s cabin, but now the snow had settled and the sky was clear. The real world was crowding in.

“I need to get the car towed to town. Get settled in my—the basement apartment. Do laundry. So much laundry. Get groceries. There’ll be nothing there.” My heart sank with each word.

Cam was silent so long I thought he might not have heard me. Then he said flatly, “I’m going to ride out this morning to check on the herd. Give Bonnie some exercise. Tomorrow, I’ll take you and Cora to the big house on Bonnie and drive you to the car. Mr. Pinter has a hitch I can borrow for the tow.”

I swallowed hard. “Okay.”

“Unless you want to leave today?”

“No!” I almost shouted. “I just mean…” I was about to launch into an over-explanation but stopped. “No. I don’t want to leave today.”

A smile tugged up Cam’s lips as he flipped the sizzling bacon and Toby scratched at the door. “Good. After all, it’s Christmas. They still need time to plow the roads.”

Soon, with stomachs full of bacon and eggs—and the finest formula—we bundled up and headed outside with Toby, blinking in the glare. The sun was back with a vengeance.

The snow glittered like diamonds in the sunlight, the sky above the mountaintops a deep blue I hadn’t seen in weeks. I inhaled the fresh air gratefully.

“Wow,” I whispered, glad I’d strapped Cora into the carrier facing outward. She kicked her feet in her snowsuit.

Cam had begun trudging through the drifts to get his snow blower from the shed, but he stopped and asked, “What?”

“This.” I waved my hand at the vista that seemed to go on forever. “I took it for granted growing up.”

He was silent for a moment. “Yeah. Guess I still do.” He returned to stand beside me. Our breath plumed in the cold air as we gazed over the land.

We didn’t move. Cora babbled against my chest, Toby running and playing, circling back to us every so often. I stared at the mountains as a swell of emotion burst up.

“It’s so fucking good to be home.” My eyes burned, and I couldn’t blame it on the cold, dry air. “I never, ever wanted to come back after my parents were gone. I didn’t realize how much I missed this.”

Cam rested his big gloved hand on my shoulder and listened.

“I made the right choice, bringing Cora back. I’m so relieved we’re here. Especially since we’re with you.”

Cam watched me. He seemed to be waiting for me to say more.

I plunged forward. “Not because you literally saved our lives—although also for that! But because we got to spend this time together. I’m grateful.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed. “Me too.”

“I’ve been alone.” What was I even saying? I palmed Cora’s head, her hat soft under my glove. “No, not alone. I’m with her twenty-four seven. And I love her so much.”

My breath caught. “I never thought I could love anyone or anything like this. But being with you has reminded me that I want more. I need more. For myself. I don’t know how it’s only been three days, because I feel like I’ve known you forever. And I realize I used to know you when we were kids, but I’m so grateful to have met you again. And I’d really like to—can we still see you sometimes?”

For a second, I was afraid Cam wasn’t going to reply to my word-vomit confession. I quickly added, “I know you’re busy out here. No pressure.”

Cam cupped my cheek, kissing me tenderly, the cold leather of his glove welcome on my hot face. His answer was a warm whisper on my lips.

“ Yes. ”

With an ominous rumble, Cora farted and pooped.

Cam and I laughed through our kiss, and he straightened, wrinkling his nose. “How can someone so tiny smell like that ?”

“And that’s coming from a rancher. Did you hear that, Cora?”

She farted again.

Tomorrow, we’d go back to the real world, and hopefully, Cam and I could see where our new connection would go. We could talk on the actual phone like it was the eighties or something.

Tomorrow, we’d leave our snow globe. But today, we had Christmas with Cam.