Chapter Nineteen

Nolan

Friday, July 5th 8:00 AM

I woke up on my twenty-third birthday on my parents couch. Jane's body had been brought back to Paris. Aaron had asked me if it was okay with me, I told him that I felt it was the right thing to do.

I sat up and rubbed my face.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Mom said softly.

I glanced toward the living room doorway and saw her standing there in a beautiful black dress.

"It's a great morning. We get to bury my wife," I muttered walking past her and up the stairs.

I heard her sigh heavily as I disappeared into the bathroom. I jumped in the shower and washed myself with the body wash that Jane always said she loved smelling on me. I dried myself off and stepped out of the shower to brush my teeth.

I walked into my old bedroom and sighed when I saw the dark gray suit that my mother had laid out for me.

Last night we had a memorial service for her. A lot of her family showed up. Quite a few of her childhood friends, and a small group of girls our age. They looked nervous as they approached the casket, but they knelt down and paid their respects.

And as they got up and walked past me sitting in the front row, I asked them who they were.

The tall girl with the long blonde hair spoke first.

"We went to high school with her. Some losers had played a really mean joke on her and –"

"You're the cheerleading captain?" I asked quietly.

She nodded.

"Jane remembered what you did for her. She never forgot it."

Her eyes glistened and she bit her lower lip as she looked back at my Janey.

"I wish I stayed in touch with her. She seemed like such a great girl."

"She was."

"Is it okay if we stay for the service?" she asked, wiping away her tears.

"Yes. Thank you for coming."

She nodded and held out a hand. "I'm Sadie."

"Nolan," I replied, shaking her hand.

Sadie and her friends sat in the row behind me.

"How'd you know Jane?" she asked.

"Through marriage," I replied.

"Oh. Oh! My Gosh, I'm so sorry!" she said quickly.

"I'm not."

Stella ran past us all at that moment and hopped up on what I had dubbed the "kneeler". She leaned into the casket, hugged Jane tightly, and kissed her on the cheek, before she ran out again.

She had told me earlier that as she was the big sister now, she had to make sure that Liam would be okay. She was especially careful to keep him out of the room.

Sighing at the memory, I pulled on my white dress shirt and began buttoning it up as I thought of Sadie and her friends sniffling whenever someone got up and spoke about how Janey had affected their lives in one way or another.

I chose not to speak then. I would speak at the cemetery today, instead.

I pulled on my pants before I grabbed my tie and began to knot it. It took me a few tries because my hands were shaking.

I saw the gold ring on my finger and sat down on the bed. Staring at it made me feel better these days and I was going to need my strength today.