Chapter 39

On the second day of battling every instinct in his body to go throw himself at Ruby’s feet, Rafe returned to his pack. There was no way this thing was settled just because he’d killed a couple of rogue wolves, and Rafe hadn’t slept in days. He needed assurance that Ruby really was safe. He needed to know it was over and that he could walk away. Rafe needed every excuse to hover around Ruby gone.

He meant what he told her that night on his porch. The worst night of his miserable life. Taking down those wolves reminded him of exactly who and what he was. A killer and an animal. He had no place in a human’s bed or heart.

But his body wouldn’t rest. He couldn’t eat. He couldn’t sleep. He was haunted by thoughts of Ruby’s life being in danger. If there was still a threat out there, he needed to know and he needed it gone. It was the only way to get Ruby Bellerose out of his life for good.

The thought made bile rise up in the back of his throat. Any thought of removing Ruby from his life caused a violent physical reaction. He’d thrown up everything he’d eaten ever since the night she ran from his porch crying. But Rafe didn’t have time for that now and he certainly didn’t need his pack seeing him lose his lunch while he cried. Rafe pushed it all down and strode into the werewolf camp.

Not surprisingly, Knox was thrilled to see him.

“Fuck, Rafe. Again?” His brother rose from his spot by the fire and strode to where Rafe stood on the edge of his campsite. The smell of roasted rabbit wafted to Rafe’s nose. His stomach turned.

“Twice in one week. What now?”

“Three more wolves, Knox. Another attack,” Rafe growled, his blood heating just thinking about the fight. “What the hell is going on?”

Knox ran a hand through his hair and then gestured for Rafe to follow him away from the other men seated around Knox’s site. Curious pack members watched them go, eyes sharp and assessing, but Rafe didn’t have time for all that today. He just needed answers, needed to settle the anxiety simmering under his skin, needed to fucking rest.

“What happened?” Knox asked when they were at the edge of the camp.

“I killed them.”

“Jesus Christ, Rafe. This isn’t the dark ages. You can’t just go around killing—”

“They attacked my— Ruby.” The word Mate echoed through his skull but he couldn’t bring himself to speak it. He didn’t deserve to, not since he sent her away.

Knox’s eyes widened a fraction of an inch. “Where is she anyway?”

“Home. Safe.” He hoped. Being this far away from her even during the day made him feel like his skin was too tight, like his lungs didn’t work.

“Does she know?” Knox cleared his throat. “That you think she’s your … Mate?” He said the word like it left a bad taste in his mouth.

Rafe knew if Ruby was there right now, she would warn him about his murder face. But she wasn’t, so he let his face do what it wanted. He bared his teeth at his brother. “She knows. But it’s not worth it.”

“Oh?”

Rafe kicked a rock and watched it skitter through the trees. “Devon was right about humans. Too fragile.”

Knox gave a stiff nod, his silver eyes so like their father, studying Rafe while they stood in the dappled sunlight of the afternoon.

“I didn’t come here for that,” Rafe continued. “I came to find out what you know about these attacks.” Rafe lowered his voice and leaned in closer, fully aware of the perked ears all around them. “Nell mentioned you were worried about something. She said she felt like there was something on the horizon. Something bad.”

His brother narrowed his eyes. “There’s nothing to worry about.”

“There is!” Rafe nearly exploded. “There clearly is, Knox! What are you going to do about it?”

Knox growled low in his throat. A warning. “I’m protecting my pack. My concerns don’t extend beyond that.”

Rafe opened and closed his fists at his side, for once wishing he could get back in the ring with his brother and kick the shit out of him. He nearly turned to storm off, but the image of Ruby lying bloody in the grass wouldn’t leave him. If there was some way to help her while still keeping his distance he needed to do it.

“Lena is a seer. Ruby’s sister. I think it’s connected somehow.”

Knox froze, surprise written across his face. He quickly schooled his features. “Can’t be. There hasn’t been a seer around here in decades.”

Rafe pushed forward. “She has visions.”

“And what does she see?” Knox crossed his arms, leaning back against the trunk of a tree. Calm, cool, completely in control again.

Rafe hesitated. How much should he tell his brother? “She can’t understand them. She doesn’t remember when she wakes up.”

“Hm.” Knox nodded. “What good is a seer if she can’t remember her visions?” He smirked.

Rafe growled in frustration. “You don’t think it’s odd that these sisters are being attacked and one of them has visions?”

“Well, only one sister has been attacked. Technically.”

“Lena never leaves the damn house! But Ruby—” Rafe swallowed hard, the breath leaving his lungs in a painful rush. Ruby was out there every damn night. An easy target. What the hell was he doing here arguing with his asshole brother?

“Never mind. Forget I said anything.”

“I said I would send out more patrols, and I will.”

Rafe huffed. “A hell of a lot of good that does me.”

“You could come back.”

Knox’s words dropped between them like stones into a still pond. They stood and silently felt the ripples.

“Come back to the pack?”

“Yeah.” Knox cleared his throat. “If you’re tired of being alone.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

His brother pushed away from the tree, coming closer. “You could bring those sisters. We’d protect them. We’d protect your Mate.”

Unease settled in Rafe’s gut. “You don’t believe in Mates.”

Knox shrugged. “Maybe you changed my mind.” His smile was slow and calculated.

Rafe shouldn’t have come back here. He was right when he told Ruby that Knox would only use Lena to help the pack. He didn’t know what his brother was plotting but he knew he didn’t give a shit about Ruby and her sister. Or him. He just wanted the power a seer would give him, the edge he would have against other packs and a future he couldn’t control.

“Well, change it back. I didn’t claim her as mine. And I’m not going to.”

Knox shrugged again, casual even as he held Rafe’s stare with his own. “The offer stands if you get tired of protecting her by yourself. You know how that turned out last time.”

Rafe’s body slammed into Knox’s before he could stop himself, his hands fisted in his brother’s shirt. He pressed Knox against the tree he had been so casually leaning against, scraping his back against the bark.

“Fuck. You.”

Knox didn’t bother to struggle in his grasp, not even giving Rafe the satisfaction of fighting back. “I’m just reminding you what’s at stake here, little brother. You couldn’t save that other pretty human from our own father. How are you going to save this one?”

Every word sunk into the marrow of Rafe’s bones, his every fear laid out in front of him. He released Knox’s shirt and stumbled backward.

“I’m not bringing her here.” He was breathless like they’d fought physically and not with words.

Knox held his hands up in surrender. “I’m just trying to help you out. Two human women under my protection is the last thing I need. But if you don’t want my help, stop showing up here.” Knox’s expression was tight, his stare hard. The coolness had left his demeanor, replaced with something else. Something like hurt and, simmering beneath it, worry.

His brother was a good liar, better than most wolves. But Rafe could see it now. The Alpha was scared.

“Consider this my last visit.” Rafe stormed away from his brother, praying he hadn’t just made things much, much worse.

Ruby managed to pull herself out of bed today. It had been three days, seven hours, and fifty-two minutes since Rafe stood on her porch covered in blood, and three days, three hours, and forty-one minutes since she stumbled away from his cabin a broken mess. Not that she was counting. Not thatevery minute was imprinted on her soul. Nope. Ruby was really fucking fine.

And werewolf drama aside, she had bills to pay. So she’d forced herself to get up, stuffed her feet into her boots and her tits into her bra and clocked in to her shift.

Any hope she’d had of forgetting about Rafe while she was at work quickly evaporated when she walked into the dining room. Rafe was imprinted all over this damn place. His favorite seat at the bar, his beautiful tables that Ruby couldn’t seem to stop running her fingers over every time she went by, the spot where he almost killed a drunk frat boy for her. Being at work was like wading through one long “Ruby and Rafe’s best moments” montage.

Getting out of bed was a grave error.

“Jesus, Ruby. You look like crap.”

She rested her tray on the bar while Macy filled the drinks for her table. “Thanks, Mace. Sweet of you to say.”

Her boss gave her a lopsided smile. “Sorry, but I mean really, you okay? What’s going on? You never miss a shift.”

What was going on? Well, she and her sister were being hunted by werewolves, her one true Mate had rejected her, and she was really tired of trying to convince him he was exactly what she wanted. But none of those things felt acceptable to say out loud.

“Rafe and I got in a fight.” Got in a fight, broke up forever. One of those.

Macy’s eyebrows rose. It was more than Ruby had ever shared with her; Ruby always opted to keep things professional. But at the moment, the confession seemed like such an understatement, Ruby let it spill out.

“I can’t seem to convince him that we make sense together.” Ruby bit her bottom lip. She would not add crying to this little girl-talk moment.

Macy studied her with sympathetic eyes. “Men, am I right?” she said after a beat, and Ruby burst out laughing at the comment from her spectacularly gay manager.

“You are definitely right.”

“So what happened?”

Ruby shrugged, unable to put the full weight of the past few days into words. “I don’t know. He seems convinced that he’s doing me a favor by staying away. Like he’s protecting me somehow when all he’s doing is hurting me.”

Macy nodded, considering. “So what are you going to do?”

Ruby balanced the tray on her hand and spoke the words over her shoulder. “I wish I knew.”

Macy’s concerned gaze followed her through the bar.

Ruby let the hum of the crowd and the monotony of the work wear away the tension of the day. Would she ever feel normal again? Would she ever feel like she wasn’t missing a chunk of herself? She didn’t know. Certainly not today. Today she felt like she was walking around without her heart, like the space behind her ribs was hollow. But that wasn’t right either. She wasn’t empty. She was aching, like a giant walking bruise.

It was different from when her parents died. Her parents’ death had left her feeling alone and scared, like the world no longer made sense. But her aunt helped put the pieces back together. The loss of Rafe was like the world itself had gone dark. If only she could find him lurking in the shadows.

Part of her screamed to try again, to never stop fighting for what they had, for what they could have. But every time she thought of doing it, all she could see was his face set in that tormented grimace, the certainty that they shouldn’t be together stamped across his features. How could she possibly fight that? How could she battle what was in his own heart?

“I forgot to tell you,” Macy said as she went back to the bar for another round of beers. Ruby rested her tray on the bar, happy for the distraction from her swirling thoughts.

“Yeah?”

“Some guy came looking for you this afternoon.”

Ruby’s heart stopped and the tray wobbled in her hands. She steadied it on the sticky surface of the bar. “Who?”

“He didn’t say.”

It wasn’t Rafe, of course it wasn’t Rafe. If it had been him Macy would have just said so. Calm down, stupid heart.

“So what did he want?”

“He just asked if you were around. When I said no, he left. Didn’t even bother ordering anything.”

Ruby swallowed hard, her mouth suddenly bone dry. Werewolves weren’t always wolves. Sometimes they were men. Could one of them have been sniffing around here? Were they back, more of them?

“What did he look like?” Ruby asked, trying to keep her voice calm.

“Tall. Like really tall. Dark hair with gray at the temples. A beard.” Macy wiped the sweat from her brow with the back of her hand. The AC was on the fritz again. “Actually he kind of reminded me of Rafe.”

Knox. The name rang through her like a warning bell. Knox, the Alpha of Rafe’s pack, was here looking for her. What the hell was that all about? Maybe he thought of more to tell them after they left? Maybe he wanted to help?

As much as Ruby wanted to believe that, her strangled heartbeat said otherwise. There was no way in hell Knox being here was any sort of good omen.

“Hm. Strange.” She scrunched up her face like she was trying to think of who this mysterious man could be. “Not sure. Maybe some long-lost cousin,” she said with a forced laugh.

“Well, don’t worry. I never give out my employees’ information.”

The tension in Ruby’s body eased, even as she glanced over her shoulder at the door as if expecting Knox to saunter in at any moment.

“Thanks.”

“If he wants to track you down, he can use the internet like the rest of us.”

Macy meant it as a joke, but the idea of Knox trying to track her down sent shivers down Ruby’s body. And not the good kind.

Macy’s gaze flicked to where Ruby held the tray. She’d been avoiding her injured shoulder all night, but had forgotten in her muddled confusion about Knox. She hissed in pain and switched the tray to the other side. The damn bite was still sore.

The other woman’s brow crinkled in concern. “If you ever need anything, just let me know. Okay, Ruby?” Macy’s smile was kind and genuine, and Ruby allowed herself to smile back, nodding at Macy’s offer, before returning to her customers. Maybe she’d had a friend here all along. Even with her broken heart maybe she had at least two people who would help her pick up the pieces.

* * *

Her shift was nearly over when she spotted Callie in the corner booth.

“Hey, we’re closing up soon, but can I get you something?” Ruby asked, leaning against the edge of the table. She was surprised Callie was alone tonight. She rarely came in without Sawyer.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you for a minute. If you can spare it.”

Ruby glanced around the empty bar. “Yeah, I think I can spare it.” She slid into the booth next to the little blonde witch, sighing in relief to be off her feet. “What’s up?”

Callie studied her in the dim light of the bar and Ruby knew she was seeing exactly what Macy saw. She looked and felt like shit. Callie’s eyebrows drew together in concern but she didn’t comment on Ruby’s less than stellar appearance.

“My grandmother sent me some books that I thought might help you with your … uh … situation.” Callie pushed the stack of books toward Ruby and she ran a hand over the top. The covers were soft and worn, old and exactly how you would picture a book filled with ancient wisdom. If she wasn’t exhausted and heartbroken, she would have been psyched to flip through them all night.

“Can you give me the Cliff’s Notes? I don’t think I’m up for studying right now.”

“Sure, of course.” Callie scooted closer, dropping her voice, not that there was anyone around to hear them. “From what I could find, clairvoyance seems to run in families.”

Ruby groaned. “Yeah, that seems to be the case.”

Callie blinked her blue eyes in surprise. “Have you started having visions too?”

Ruby shrugged. “Maybe? Maybe a prophetic dream or two. I’m not sure it matters anymore.”

“What’s going on?”

She couldn’t bear to tell the story again. “It just doesn’t matter. I appreciate this though. I really do, but the attackers are gone, and me and Lena just want to get back to normal.”

“But they can be controlled. The visions. She just needs to learn how.” Callie put her hand over Ruby’s on the table. “I understand how overwhelming it all is, trust me. I tried to run away from my powers, but it didn’t work. You can’t outrun it.”

“Are you like two hundred years old too?” Ruby asked, examining Callie for any signs that she might be older than the very young twenty-one that she claimed to be. She didn’t want to talk about Lena’s powers or her own, or the fact that she had no idea if her parents had them too, or why no one bothered to tell them about it. It was all too much.

“No. Witches are more human than most other … uh … others. We live a little longer than the average human, but that’s mostly because we’re just very health-conscious.”

“Oh, right. Of course.”

Callie smiled at her sympathetically. “I’ll leave these with you. They might help.”

“Thanks. Sorry, I’m kind of a mess right now.”

“No need to apologize.” Callie stood to leave but paused beside the table. “Witches don’t have Mates, but I know what it’s like to be apart from your person.”

Ruby slumped down in the booth. “Were we that obvious?” She remembered that day at Callie and Sawyer’s apartment. At the time she had no idea what Rafe was to her, only that she wanted to jump his bones.

Callie shrugged. “Witch’s intuition, I guess.” She ran her hand over the top of the table Rafe had made. “I’m around if you need anything.”

Ruby nodded and Callie gave her one last smile.

“It’ll work out in the end, Ruby.”

As her witchy-friend walked away Ruby really hoped that little comment was a witch’s intuition too. She needed all the help she could get.