Chapter 23

Chapter 23

After over two weeks of stewing after the last full moon, Lila was at last back in the comfort of my home for a blood date. Two weeks meant we were already over half way to another full moon, which meant some significant groveling was going to be in order if I didn't want her wandering into Adrian's bed again. We were on good terms, yes, but were we on fucking terms? Not really.

She was apparently more comfortable taking her chances with him than me, and I couldn't say when that had happened exactly. I'd started to gather that the real mistake I'd been making with her was trying to be this sweet, friendly, nonthreatening companion. I foolishly focused on making her like me with a healthy, respectable puppy dog act, and while I'd won her friendship and small slivers of her trust, I hadn't given her the impression that we had romantic chemistry. This girl who was bullied so much of her life was apparently much more attracted to rough assholes: the kind of guys who pushed her around and told her they didn't want her, while subsequently bending her over their desk and fucking her like she was air itself. You seek out what you know, I guess.

My whole body shivered as I shook off that visual.

The irony was that I was already naturally the kind of guy she was actually looking for, while Adrian was, also ironically, a lot more likely to cherish and respect and wear kid gloves around her if he could. If I was a wolf in sheep's clothing, he was very much a sheep in wolf's clothing.

The challenge here would simply be figuring out how to make that transition with her without her feeling like I deceived her further.

Who would have thought that lying to a girl wasn't all that helpful? At least not when you wanted more than just a single night in her pants anyway. By the devil, I hadn't been honest with a sexual partner since the first one I'd ever had, and I murdered him after, so there wasn't any proof it had happened. I barely knew what I looked like without my mask. Adrian was the only person I didn't give a fuck about impressing, and the last thing I was going to do was treat her like I treated him.

Whatever I was going to do, I needed to do it sooner than later. When the Aries moon came, like fuck was I going to be her second choice again.

It was actually funny that I only had to worry about these shared feelings once a month though. What an odd concept that she only had sex on the full moon, while living a chaste, celibate life in between.

The thought passed through my mind exactly as I realized I was getting laid even less often than that. On the contrary, since meeting her back in January, I hadn't been with anyone else. It was now April, and I'd literally gotten off once, total, with one person, total, and I wasn't even of sane mind or my standard physical body when I did it. If I hadn't shifted into the Aquarius, I would have abstained all year.

Holy fuck .

Was this woman driving me into a life of celibacy? Was I a weak simpleton? The little virgin has gotten off probably ten times more than I have, as well as having done so with more partners than I have. Was this where I had to start asking myself if I was as cool and attractive as I thought I was?

So I was sitting here, begging for this woman to give me a bone, while she was playing musical dicks with me and my brother. Were we it though? I didn't get the impression that she was talking to anyone else, but who could say.

My mind drifted back to that so called friend of hers who she worked with. I still needed to look into that.

Well, I would feel it through our bond if she slept with someone else. Theoretically, I'd even feel it if she masturbated… probably. She wouldn't feel me though, since our bond was only one way right now. That was a shame. I could have had some fun with that power.

Ahem .

Either way, it was worth considering that she was also getting frustrated in these weeks of lead up, and I could probably win some favor by offering to scratch that itch for her.

Okay. Clear path forward: Honesty. Appeal to her hormones. Be a psychopath.

"I hope you weren't getting too weak waiting for me. Sorry I haven't been fulfilling my promise." Lila's voice drew my attention away from my otherwise cringe-worthy thoughts, and I turned to face her with a smile.

Wait, should it have been a sneer ?

Honesty. We want charming psychopath, not regular, cruel psychopath .

She beamed back at me, and I determined that the smile was the right call. She'd been fixing her helmet hair in the bathroom, and I loved seeing her making an effort for me again.

"I'll be the first to admit that human vegetable blood is nowhere near the level of my Baby Doll's blood. But I promise I survived." I paced over and slid a lock of her silky hair behind her ear. By the devil, she is beautiful. "I want this to be enjoyable for you, not an obligation. If you're ever busy or not feeling up to it, don't stress on missing an appointment for even a moment."

"You really are the sweetest. It's still hard to believe you're an Alpha." She giggled, and I fought an eye twitch. Finding the balance between rough and sweet was going to be a challenge with this one when she responded like that.

Not the least of which because the last statement hadn't been acting. The more I interacted with her, the more I was starting to realize I didn't want to be cruel to her, and coddling her was more my natural response to the energy she put off. This commitment to being truthful was going nowhere.

I hate every part of this.

No, this is fine. I'll fix it.

"You think kindness is a sign of weakness?" I moved my hand from her hair to her chin, then I secured her firmly with my thumb and forefinger. "If caring about your mental state and well-being makes me appear less powerful to you, then I suppose I can wear that badge proudly." I nudged forward with just enough pressure that she had to take a step back to keep her balance. I took a step forward, still securing her jaw so her face stayed in line with mine.

I forced her to retreat again, and nervousness overtook her expression. I very much enjoyed that look on her.

"But I think some nuance has been lost here." Another step, and the backs of her knees hit the couch. I placed an open palm on her chest, then I pushed her into the soft cushions. "Being an Alpha isn't characterized by your cruelty, your roughness, or your ability to abuse others." I knelt before her. "Being an Alpha is more about being a protector." I slipped my fingers beneath her right thigh, then I leaned in closer, so I could place her knee over my shoulder. Her cheeks flared in a delightful shade of crimson. "It's about understanding your lover well enough to fulfill their needs without having to ask." I turned my head and pressed my lips to her inner thigh.

With her legs spread, in her short skirt, I was enjoying the view more than I would admit out loud, for the sake of sparing her the embarrassment. Gorgeous as she was, she was still unexplainably self-conscious and rather innocent. Explaining how much I liked her pussy was the kind of praise I'd work her up to when she was in the right situation.

For now, she was wearing that restrictive underwear she always did. I'd have to do something about that later, too.

I pressed another kiss to her sensitive skin, moving up her thigh an inch at a time, until I was just two more kisses away from where she wasn't quite ready to have me. Her eyes were burning into me as she watched my every move, and her heart was pounding so hard, I could feel it through the delicious pulsing of her femoral artery.

I opened my mouth and licked lavishly across her smooth skin, while making a show of the slow extension of my fangs. She tensed when I touched each sharp point to her thick thigh, and that heartbeat found twenty more beats per minute as I sunk into her flesh.

Her breathing was heavily focused yet labored, and her temperature had spiked just below the surface of her skin. When I sucked roughly between her legs, she let slip a quiet moan, and I couldn't help the satisfaction that flared in my soul. I took only a small portion of how much blood was needed, then I licked her wounds closed, and took hold of her left leg. I placed it over my other shoulder, and I pressed a kiss just below the hem of her skirt.

"May I?" I asked, as I licked the blood from my extended fangs. Baby Doll was covering her mouth as she nodded, like she was ashamed of every naughty little squeak.

"You don't need to hold anything back around me."

I reminded her of our mental connection, and she sucked in a sharp breath in response. She bit into her lip to stop its quivering, but she didn't move away as I pressed my lips to her left thigh. She held still as I skated the smooth surface of my fangs up towards her core.

"Bite me." She whispered with so much need, it had me on the edge of my own sanity. She covered her mouth again, and the thought "I didn't mean to say that out loud" ran through her mind. I adjusted in my pants, trying not to make it obvious how much that just affected me, and I tried to ignore my own speeding heartbeat as I sunk my teeth into her perfect body.

Who was getting who hot and bothered, now? She had an impeccable ability to turn my plans around on me, and I didn't understand how she always did it. She was accidentally my perfect sex kitten, and all I could think about was how much I wanted her to do this to me on purpose.

I rubbed the inside of her right thigh with one hand, drawing gentle, idle lines up and down the length of her soft muscles, and I sucked just a little harder on her left. She fisted my hair, and she squeezed me between her legs. Her breathing hitched, and her legs quivered, as if I was about to send her into a full convulsing orgasm.

"Does it feel that good, Baby Doll?" I asked through her mind, as I absolutely would not be taking my mouth off her.

She answered only with a half nod, filled with heavy inhales and shaky exhales.

I'm not going to fuck her yet. I told myself, and only myself. In a blur, I ripped my teeth from her thigh, then moved up higher, sinking back in just outside the edge of her undergarment. I was buried in her short skirt, and I was digging my fingers into those tensing muscles as far up her leg as she'd let me go.

When she responded by tugging at my hair harder, it occurred to me this was really only as far as I would let myself go.

Slow down. Not yet. This time, I had to make a firm demand of my brain. My own needs were forgetting the plot, and her indescribable flavor was overriding my good sense. I savored another thick swallow, and I shuddered as that power radiated through me. It was with great regret and sadness that I retracted my fangs and covered her punctures with a quick flick of my tongue.

Lila's grip loosened, so I returned her feet to the floor, and rose back to standing. She folded her legs, curling into fetal position on the couch, while staring up at me with her lust glazed, caramel colored eyes. Flecks of rose pink circled her irises, and I didn't know how I hadn't noticed that beautifully inhuman part of her.

I took a deep breath, then covered the lower half of my face with my hand. "Are you okay?"

Lila nodded before she reopened her eyes to meet mine again. "I'm not sure which feeding point I prefer." She rubbed her neck with a laugh.

Lighthearted.

That was both how she reacted and how her comfort was making me feel. How unexpected.

"If the carotid or the femoral artery aren't to your liking, the radial artery is still an option." I took one of her hands, then pressed my lips to the underside of her wrist. "Anywhere will work, really. Those are just the most efficient."

"N-no, I like those ones." She tripped over her words, and if the strange feeling in my face was any indication, I think we both might have been blushing.

What the fuck?

Vampires did not blush. Stupid shifter blood was giving me away .

"Then we can explore them more next time." I placed a kiss on her forehead. "Maybe we'll explore some of the less efficient places too. No need to rush it." I winked, and she nodded with bashful fervor.

I excused myself to the kitchen to prepare a post-blood donation meal for her. I took the entirety of those twenty minutes to try to calm my own rapid heartbeat and the unexplainable prickle in my skin. I wondered if drinking her blood had made her attractive draw more powerful than it would have otherwise been. Had I been falling into her rhythm because I was dedicated to annoying Adrian… or was I a slave to magic that neither of us understood?

If the latter was the case… would I actually want to stop?

There was no way I could answer that question authentically with her still in my house and running in my veins.

When I returned with a sandwich and some water, she was back to looking comfortable and off her guard. I sat beside her and placed the food on the coffee table. She picked it up without hesitation, and a smile exploded on her face as she dug in.

Progress. This was progress.

"I'm glad we can still be friends." She spoke idly between bites.

"Why wouldn't we? You haven't done anything wrong." I reassured her with a pat on her shoulder. That one was honest and a lie at the same time, depending on if one was analyzing the statement based on objective or subjective reasoning .

"I mean, I thought you wouldn't want to talk to me anymore after I—" She cut herself off, then returned to her food, using chewing as an excuse to recalibrate her thoughts. Though I heard the "after I slept with your brother again" loud and fucking clear.

"After I spent the last full moon talking to Adrian, I mean." She finished.

Talking.

"I'm sure you had your reasons." Wrapping my arm around her shoulder, I pulled her closer to me on the couch, then I pressed a kiss to her hair. "It's fine, Lila. Like I explained earlier, my mother has two mates. I don't expect to be the only person in your life at this point. If my brother is helping you somehow, then I don't want to get in the way of you two." Now that was absolutely a goddamn lie. Some months, I might have been unbothered. But not this month. I had goals this month.

"You're not mad?"

"At you? Never."

"I don't want to feel like I'm going back and forth between both of you though." She whispered while willfully nuzzling into my chest. I liked the way she fit so well against me. I was liking a lot of things about this blood arrangement right now. "It seems wrong, somehow."

"Then how about I help you make that choice." I dropped my nose into her hair and inhaled deeply. The light wafting of her Apples and Cinnamon was just barely detectable. She smelled too delicious to be safe. "Let me show you what being with me feels like this month. And if in the end, you prefer Adrian, then we'll navigate those feelings, however they look for you. "

She tipped her chin upwards, nearly connecting our lips as she strained to meet my gaze. "Deal." She said with the most genuine smile.

Oh, she's going to regret that.

I returned the gesture, then closed that small gap between our lips the rest of the way. She accepted my kiss, just like she always did. If only she knew how much this little contract actually meant. But I'd show her. It was only a matter of time.