Chapter 13

13

L ila stood with her back against the front door for what felt like forever, an aching pit where her heart used to be. The finality of her decision, the shock in Zhoel’s eyes as she’d closed the door—made her feel like she was drowning. He’s just like Craig , she tried to tell herself, dismissing the importance of my job and family . Better to end things now than break her heart later when he left her behind.

She clutched her sweater over her chest, denying the heartbreak she was feeling. “I did the right thing,” she whispered to herself, voice cracking as emptiness threatened to swallow her.

Josh and Emily burst from the living room and ran past, giggling with childish delight, their laughter echoing through the hallway. From the kitchen, she heard her mother clattering dishes and speaking to Sara. Remembering her sister’s divorce, she squeezed her eyes shut. I should go offer a sympathetic ear . Pushing off the door, she stood there a moment, trying to summon the will to move.

And stood there.

She just didn’t have it in her to comfort someone else. With heavy feet, she plodded upstairs to her bedroom. She couldn’t wipe the look of Zhoel’s despair from her mind. Was that how she’d always remember him now? He’d been so excited when he’d spoken of their future, and she’d torn it all apart.

She collapsed onto her bed, face in her pillow, only to realize it smelled like Zhoel. “Dammit.”

Choking with longing, she rose and turned to face the window, gaze snagging on the stuffed rabbit Zhoel had won for her at the Christmas Carnival. It sat lopsided on her dresser, its beady eyes seeming to question her decision.

“Did I do the right thing?” she whispered thickly.

She hugged the stuffed rabbit to her chest, face buried in its plush fur. The past two days had been a magical whirlwind, a tumultuous mix of joy and fear, uncertainty and pleasure. She’d felt alive and full of hope for the future she’d always dreamed of.

But she couldn’t leave; Mom couldn’t run things on her own. When Lila’d taken over the books, she’d transferred everything to the computer. Then there was the fleet scheduling, safety compliance, load permitting, and so much more. I have responsibilities here . Yet her attempted rationalizations echoed hollow in her chest.

A knock on her door startled her, and she pressed a finger and thumb to her eyes to be sure there weren’t any tears before calling out, “Yes?”

The door creaked open, and Nana Pearl peeked in, her expression soft. “Mind if I come in, sweetheart?”

Lila nodded, throat suddenly too tight to speak. This had all started because of Nana and her matchmaking. Yet Lila couldn’t bring herself to be angry. Nana only wanted her to be happy, after all.

Nana entered, followed by Sara, and Lila restrained a groan when she saw Mom hovering in the doorway. I should’ve just joined them in the kitchen .

“Where’s Zhoel?” Nana asked as she sat on the edge of the bed. “Is everything okay?”

Well, crap . This wasn’t going to be about Sara’s divorce. Lila shoved the stuffed rabbit back onto her dresser. “It’s fine. I realized the business partnership wasn’t a good fit,” she said, her voice catching. “Mom was right.”

Mom made a discontented noise from the doorway, and Lila avoided looking at her, afraid of the recrimination she’d find.

Sara came over and put an arm around her. “But there’s more to you two than business. What happened?”

Lila met her sister’s concerned gaze, feeling awful in so many ways. Here she was whining over a relationship that was barely a day old, and her sister was ending a years-long marriage. “I should be consoling you, not the other way around.”

“Surprisingly, I’m more relieved than upset,” Sara said, though her smile was sad. “I’ve been vacillating for a long time, worried about making a mistake, worried about giving up too soon. But when he asked for a divorce, I realized I’ve been working on our relationship alone all along.” She let out a shaky breath and spoke in a near whisper, “I’m terrified, but I think it’s for the best.”

“It’ll be okay.” Lila hugged her. “We’re here for you.” Bitterness crept up Lila’s throat. Right here in Bloomington, like always .

Sara nodded, her eyes misty. “I know. Honestly, once I’m ready, I might even try Zhoel’s app. See what’s out there.”

Lila started to chuckle, but it turned into a half-sob she forced herself to swallow.

“Is he coming back?” asked Nana.

“No,” Lila said.

“That’s too bad,” said Sara. “I was starting to like him, and you two seemed to be really hitting it off.”

“We barely knew each other a day, and he was insisting I’m the one.” Lila forced her voice to remain strong. “He was moving way too fast.”

Nana chuckled. “Your grandad was the same way. We met at the town fair. I beat him at a shooting game, and he stared at me, all fire and frustration. I thought he’d stalk off, but he asked if I’d join him for a dance instead. We barely knew each other, but I said yes. I knew right then he was the one. When you know, you know, sweetheart.”

Lila shook her head. “Zhoel needs to travel, and I can’t just abandon my responsibilities here to be with him.”

Mom crossed her arms, her lips pressed into a thin line. “Lila, your dad and I ran the trucking company for decades before you started working there. We can manage without you, at least for a while. You don’t have to sacrifice your happiness for us.”

“But that was before Dad’s heart attack,” Lila said. “He can’t take on as much as he used to. Plus, I moved all our financials to the computer and you barely know how to turn it on.”

Sara cleared her throat. “I’m going to need a job now. I can take over and do the bookkeeping from home if Mom can handle the other stuff you do.”

Mom nodded. “Absolutely. Your Aunt Maggie said her boss will be retiring in a few months and mentioned needing part time work. I bet she’d be delighted to help. Between the three of us, we’ll keep the business up and running.”

Lila looked around at her family, her heart melting at the loving support she saw on their faces. Mom’s eyes were glossy with unshed tears, and Nana’s were full of love. Sara was smiling and nodding encouragement. Could I really leave Bloomington behind to be with Zhoel? Was that even an option anymore after how she’d treated him?

Mom stepped into the room and put one arm around each of her daughters, squeezing tightly. “We’re a family. We do anything for each other.” Releasing the hug, she took Lila’s shoulders and turned her around so they were face-to-face. “Both of my daughters deserve happiness, and Lila, if you think your happiness is with Zhoel, you need to be with him.”

Feeling shaky inside, Lila said, “This is a big decision. What if it’s a mistake?”

Nana Pearl clucked her tongue. “That’s what being young is all about, making mistakes. When I was your age, I made some tough choices too. I had some regrets, but most of the time, it worked out for the best. It’ll be the same for you.”

“You’ve been using your job as an excuse for too long, Lila,” Mom said firmly. “Go live your life.”

Sara lifted her chin. “It’s time we both start living for ourselves.”

They were right. Lila had been hiding behind her responsibilities, afraid of making bad choices. It was time to stop putting everyone else’s needs before her own. She’d found something real with Zhoel—something that made her feel alive, and she couldn’t just throw it away because she was too scared to take a risk.

Then her throat tightened. She had no way of contacting Zhoel. She’d been so hell-bent on breaking things off, she hadn’t thought to ask. Had he left for his ship already? Ann and the others had his app on their phones, but Lila’d been feeling too sorry for herself to bother loading it to hers. God, I really don’t want to ask Ann to contact him for me . She shook her head, trying to push away the fear creeping in again. Now wasn’t the time to give up, or she’d live with regret for the rest of her life.

“I need to make a phone call.” She reached for her phone.

Downstairs, the thud of the front door closing announced Dad’s return home. His voice echoed up the stairs. “Hello? Anyone home?”

The sound of children squealing with glee and racing to greet him filled the air, and the baby started crying from Sara’s room down the hall.

Sara gave Lila a quick hug before leaving to tend to her children. “Good luck.”

Dad’s footsteps thudded up the stairs, and he poked his head into Lila’s room, his hair damp from melting snow. “Why was Zhoel standing in our driveway?”

Lila sucked in a breath. “What? He’s here?”

“In the foyer. I told him to come inside and warm up.” Dad shook his head. “He said something about wanting to experience a Christmas tradition.”

Christmas tradition? What was he talking about? Lila’s heart was pounding a thousand beats a minute as she dashed out of her room and down the stairs. Zhoel stood near the door as if afraid to take another step, his blue skin looking like ice in the overhead light. Yet his gaze was anything but icy. He lifted one hand above his head. “For luck before I go?”

She frowned, then noticed the sprig of leaves and white berries pinched between his fingers. Mistletoe. He wants a kiss . A laugh burbled up from her chest, and she moved toward him. “Zhoel, I?—”

Her words were cut off by his mouth coming down to cover hers. She sucked in a breath, unexpected heat flaring through her. She leaned into the kiss, and as if he’d been waiting for permission, he wrapped his free arm around her middle and crushed her against his chest.

Surrendering to the moment, she let all her worries melt away. Zhoel was her mate. She knew it now with all her heart.

She slid her arms around his neck and inhaled deeply, taking in his sandalwood scent. His tongue danced and explored, gentle yet passionate, each touch sending waves of joy and desire throughout her body. It was a kiss that spoke volumes, conveying unspoken desires and a depth of emotion that left her breathless.

Eventually, he broke the kiss long enough to murmur, “I thought you’d turn me away.”

“I’m glad you came back.”

He pressed his forehead to hers. “I’m not going anywhere, Lila. I love you.”

Love? And she realized that insane as it seemed, she loved him, too. In a voice trembling with emotion, she whispered, “Me, too, Zhoel. I love you, too.”

His breath hitched, and he pulled back to look at her, his eyes full of incredulity. Then he lowered the mistletoe and stared at it. “This stuff really is lucky.”