Chapter 20

ZAHHN

I fear I'm going mad. I stare at the screen displaying all inter-ship activity within the fleet during the last two days. No ships departed the Rorrsa for the Jansonna at any time. Furthermore, no vessels left the Rorrsa for the Haxxal or any other ships in the Darrvason fleet.

If Chief Kameer is curious about my reasons for wanting to see the departure logs, he doesn't reveal it. His face remains impassive as he leans against a desk in his private office.

"Are you certain no shuttles were stolen?" I turn to face him. "I have reason to believe someone from the Rorrsa visited the Jansonna last night but then returned to the Rorrsa undetected."

The chief engineer finally reveals a hint of surprise. His eyebrows lift slightly, and he glances at the screen with a mild semblance of curiosity. He clears his throat. "The logs are strictly maintained, and all shuttles not in use are kept secure. No unauthorized personnel can visit the docking bay, and the vessels are protected by a combination of secret passcodes that are constantly changed as well as a bio-identity check on any male attempting to pilot one."

I resist the urge to run my hand through my hair. I don't want the chief to know how frustrated I'm becoming, nor how desperate I am to find the answers I'm seeking. How in the fluxx did I visit the Rorrsa undetected? It doesn't make sense, and I'm starting to wonder if maybe it never happened. Perhaps I had a very vivid dream about Leona and then imagined her scent covered me after I awoke. I haven't been able to stop thinking about her. Ever since the medical exam, she's occupied my thoughts so much that I've had trouble concentrating on my work. It's just as I feared—taking a mate would indeed distract me from my important research.

My responsibilities to the Darrvason Empire suddenly feel like a crushing weight on my shoulders. For the first time in my life, I find myself conflicted about what my true purpose is.

But I must continue my research, and I must proceed with the trials on the Rorrsa . I'm on the cusp of curing forlonggsa and I cannot abandon my work now.

A thought occurs to me, and I step closer to Chief Kameer. Though we're alone, I keep my voice low. "What about beaming technology? Has anyone on the Rorrsa been testing it?" Though we're aware of several alien races who use beaming technology, our people have avoided the glitchy technology that has been known to take lives. But perhaps a rogue scientist is testing it. Maybe that's how I reached the Rorrsa , though if I did, wouldn't I have a memory of using it? Fluxx . I am grasping at flimsy conclusions in a futile effort to explain what happened to me last night.

Chief Kameer frowns. "I am aware of all scientific endeavors on this ship, and I can assure you that no unsanctioned research is taking place. If someone were testing beaming technology, I would know about it. Beaming signatures are difficult to miss, and part of the security protocols on every ship in our fleet include routine scans for use of the banned technology."

It's as though the floor has disappeared beneath my feet. I experience the sensation of falling fast, and I'm forced to place a hand on the desk to steady myself. What happened last night—traveling to the Jansonna and mating with Leona—defies explanation.

The most logical conclusion is that my memories are false. That I simply awoke after a vivid dream and imagined the state of my undress as well as the intimate bodily fluids covering me. If I hadn't already analyzed my DNA for a predisposition for forlonggsa , I would worry I was starting to show signs of the disease. But my DNA carries no marker for the great madness.

"If you would like me to track a specific individual's biosignature," Chief Kameer says in an overly casual tone, "I could do that for you."

"That's possible?"

He nods. "One of my colleagues recently developed the technology." A knowing gleam enters his eyes. "Would you like me to track the location of your biosignature during the last two days, Doctor Zahhn? I'll be discreet. If we learn something interesting, I saw nothing, I know nothing. We never had this conversation."

"Do it." I draw in a deep breath. "Please."

Chief Kameer turns to a console and his hands fly over several screens so rapidly, I'm unable to see what he's doing. "One would think all Darrvasons would have the same, if not incredibly similar biosignatures. However, my colleague discovered how to track Darrvason males by searching for elements that are unique to each male's ancestral markings, almost like a tiny, incredibly faint transmitter embedded within our flesh that's so complicated to explain, I doubt even you would understand it. If you had any living relatives, however, we might run into some difficulties." He glances over his shoulder and his hands pause above the screens. "Do you have any living relatives?"

"No. All dead."

His fingers resume flying from screen to screen at the console. Then he retrieves a device from a drawer that's similar in appearance to a medical scanner. "I need to see your ancestral markings." He turns to me and holds up the scanner. "I promise this won't hurt."

I quickly tug the neckline of my shirt down, revealing my glowing blue ancestral markings. Chief Kameer scans the markings and turns back to his console. I watch as he uploads data to the screens, and my eyes widen when two schematics appear side by side—one of the Rorrsa and one of the Jansonna .

A flashing red dot shows my movements on the Rorrsa , and at first nothing is unusual. The dot moves from my quarters, down various corridors, remains in my temporary laboratory for a while, and also travels to various patients' rooms in the medical wing. Perfectly normal, however I take note of the time of day displayed next to the schematic. It's not showing my location last night and early this morning yet, and I hold my breath as I watch the time speeding up.

Then the dot disappears entirely. I step closer and glance at Chief Kameer. His brow is creased with confusion, and he reaches out to the screen, only for the dot to suddenly appear on the Jansonna .

Disbelief seizes me, and yet I cannot deny the truth that's staring me in the face. Somehow, by means I do not yet understand, I traveled to the Jansonna last night. My heart races faster, and I'm not certain whether I should be relieved by these findings or terrified.

I mated with a human female. Leona .

"What the fluxx ?" The chief turns to me with questions brimming in his eyes. He looks partly horrified, but also curious. Then he snorts and says, "Of course, of course, of course. It makes sense, knowing what your father was."

"My father?" I take a menacing step toward him. "What does my father have to do with this?"

"He was a skilled assassin who took out many of our enemies during the great war. His body count is among the highest out of any Darrvason warrior who fought and died for the glory of the empire."

"I'm aware of my father's deeds. But I still don't comprehend why his status as an assassin bears any importance on the fact that I suddenly appeared on the Jansonna last night." I gesture at the schematic of the human worldship. The red dot remains blinking over the area I assume is Leona's quarters. I make a mental note of the exact location on the ship.

"Ever hear about Project Xeera?"

"No. Explain."

Chief Kameer's eyes gleam with excitement, and I seriously consider punching him in the nose. He's staring at me like I'm a scientific curiosity and it pisses me the fluxx off. "Astral projection," he announces, and not for the first time today, I experience the abrupt sensation of falling. "Project Xeera was a classified experiment established by the former emperor during the war against the Yelltzins. Our brightest minds were able to pinpoint individuals with a predisposition for astral projection, and those males were recruited to become spies and assassins. The project was abandoned not long after the war."

I remain quiet for a long moment as his words slowly penetrate my consciousness. It all sounds too fantastic, yet I cannot surmise another explanation for the proof on the screens. "I must admit that I believed stories about astral projection were just that—stories. Also, if my soul projected to another ship, does that mean my physical body actually remained on the Rorrsa ? Was it only my soul that traveled? How-how was I able to touch things while on the human worldship?" Well, I suppose the assassins like my father wouldn't have been very successful if they weren't able to physically touch objects or other individuals after astral projecting. But the very idea of it defies logic, and my mind struggles to grasp the science behind it.

Chief Kameer shrugs. "I must confess I don't know how it works, but it's obvious that an individual who's astral projecting can physically touch things, whether his body remains elsewhere. All evidence of Project Xeera's existence has been wiped from the Darrvason database. It's said a rogue scientist did it after worrying the former emperor was showing too much interest in the project after the war. As you know, the late emperor was experiencing the first signs of forlonggsa and many were worried that he would misuse the information and perhaps even use the remaining assassins against his dissenters."

How could my father keep such a secret? I'm not only taken aback by Chief Kameer's revelation, but I'm deeply shocked, so much that I'm now questioning if I ever really knew my father. He was a stoic male who believed in furthering the interests of the Darrvason Empire, though I had little contact with him after the war began. Eventually, not long after the destruction of our homeworld, I received news of his death.

"I am sure this information must come as a shock to you, Doctor Zahhn." Chief Kameer leans back on his desk and observes the blinking red dot, which remains stationary in Leona's quarters. "You probably don't want to answer this question, but I'll ask anyway. How did you spend your time while on Jansonna ? Did you interact with anyone? If you did and your unsanctioned presence was reported to the worldship's authorities or to Officer Brute, who is stationed on the Jansonna , your secret might not remain a secret for much longer."

I stare at the chief engineer, wondering if I can trust him. As I study his inquisitive expression, I decide he doesn't project an aura of trickery. Though I do not have any friends, perhaps aside from Emperor Radakk, I consider myself an expert on reading individuals. Years of treating patients and scientific observation have given me a talent for picking up the nuances that would indicate a deceitful temperament.

"I spent the duration of my time on the Jansonna in the company of a human female. I encountered no one else and I did not leave her bedroom, therefore, I do not believe my presence on the worldship will be reported. I doubt the female will tell anyone." Mate . I feel a tug in my chest, and for the briefest moment, I sense her presence. But then it's gone and no matter how hard I try, I cannot reestablish the connection. The yearning to storm the corridors of the Jansonna until I find her is maddening.

But how could I possibly arrange to travel to the worldship?

"So, you astral projected onto the Jansonna , claimed a human female, then this morning you found yourself back on the Rorrsa ?" The chief's visage fills with wonderment.

I swallow hard. "It would appear so."

"Amazing. Truly amazing." He huffs out a long breath. "Well, I suppose it's your turn. Time to uphold your end of the deal. Tell me what you've discovered about Darrvason-human heartbonds and whether the rumors about Admiral Tornn and his mate are true. I saw you checking messages on your wrist comm as we walked to my office. Surely you must've learned something."

"The rumors are true. A heartbond is indeed forming between Admiral Tornn and his human mate. He's three or four days into the mating fever, and yes, his ancestral markings have started to appear on his female's arms. Thus far, no other mating pairs have experienced a similar phenomenon, but Doctor Groaa believes it's only a matter of time before other couples are affected by the mating fever. I cannot yet explain it, but heartbonds are indeed possible between our people and humans. It's an extraordinary development, and I've been told Emperor Radakk is trying to keep the information a secret for now, as he fears some Darrvason males might attempt to steal human females from the Jansonna , particularly our engineers who are stationed on the worldship."

"Ah, because an unsanctioned mating union would be a direct violation of the Darrvason-human alliance." Chief Kameer's eyes twinkle. The bastard is actually teasing me.

"Yes, the emperor would prefer it remains a secret. At least until our engineers return from the Jansonna ." I glare at the male as he smirks.

"Fear not, great doctor," he says. "I will keep your secret. Just please, if you astral project onto the Jansonna again, try not to let any security officers see you. I've been promised a mate, and I don't want anything to interrupt the next batch of human females we're set to receive. It's important that the alliance remains intact."

"I didn't astral project on purpose." I'm still reeling from the revelation of what I'm able to do. A talent that was passed down to me from my father. An ability that defies science. "Nevertheless, I will endeavor to avoid detection. I am eager to see the alliance succeed as well." But I don't admit that I'm contemplating loopholes that might allow me to claim Leona and bring her back to the Haxxal as my rightful mate.

Though Chief Kameer appears content to continue our conversation, I make an excuse to leave, and I hastily retreat to my temporary laboratory. I don't bother trying to reach the docking bay. Not when it's well-guarded and the shuttles wouldn't function for me even if I managed to sneak aboard one.

Tonight, I resolve.

I will attempt to astral project into Leona's quarters tonight.

It's only by sheer willpower that I'm able to focus on the study I'm conducting. I'm pleased to find the patients have improved markedly overnight. I bark orders at my assistants, and we resume the same treatments that we administered to the patients yesterday.

If I succeed in curing forlonggsa , will Emperor Radakk look the other way when I claim an unsanctioned human female? Would he help smooth over any upset my actions caused?

I work faster as I analyze the latest results of the study, determined to make progress.