Chapter 19

LEONA

Nothing makes sense. I spend the day waiting for Zahhn to show up, but there's no sign of him. The absence of him feels like a gaping wound in my chest. It's alarming, not being able to sense his presence.

As I go about my day, I don't converse with many of my coworkers in the mess hall. But every time a Darrvason enters the mess hall for a meal, it takes all my self-control not to rush up to the male and ask if he knows anything about Zahhn's whereabouts.

What if I never see him again?

What if he woke up and changed his mind about keeping me as his mate?

I try to brush away the plunging sadness these worries bring, but it's not easy.

When I return to my quarters in the late afternoon, my father is in the kitchen with four men I don't recognize. All conversation halts as I enter the abode, and I can't help but shiver as I walk past the kitchen and down the hallway to my bedroom. No one speaks to me, not even my father. They simply glare as though I'm an inconvenience who's just interrupted their important business.

The stained sheets are no longer on my floor. Neither is Zahhn's underwear. I'm usually a tidy person, but I'm certain I left my room in shambles this morning when I departed for work. But my bed is freshly made with clean sheets and covers. Normally, there are four pillows on my bed, but only two remain. My face grows hot as I realize the missing pillows were likely defiled with Zahhn's seed or my arousal, or perhaps a combination of both.

Clearly, my father removed all evidence of a Darrvason visitor while I was at work. I perch on the edge of my bed and wrap my arms around my center, reeling with the events of the last two and a half weeks.

The hushed voices coming from the kitchen send a jolt of fear through me. Something terrible is about to happen. I just know it. I think about Commander Hampton's certainty that my father had a hand in the Deck Five Massacre twenty years ago and wonder if it's true.

Is he plotting something similar with the strange men in the kitchen? He rarely allows anyone in our quarters—from what I can tell, he prefers to do his secretive business elsewhere—which makes me think whatever meeting is being held in the kitchen is urgent. I pray it has nothing to do with Zahhn's visit last night.

I close my eyes and concentrate.

Zahhn. Zahhn, where are you?

There's no answer, and my heart sinks.

Maybe it's better this way. Better if I forget about the huge alien doctor. I don't want to leave the human worldship. Not until the Darrvasons succeed in guiding my people to a habitable planet, that is. I think about this term of the alliance and wonder if it'll ever come to pass. Finding a habitable planet that's not already occupied by an intelligent species has been a challenge for the leaders of the Jansonna . We've been traveling through space for decades without any luck.

There's also the glaring fact that the Darrvasons don't have a planet of their own. Their entire population resides on the fifteen ships in their fleet. According to the rumors I've heard, their homeworld was destroyed about twenty-five years ago while the Darrvasons were at war with another race of aliens. It was also during this war that they lost nearly all their females and children. If habitable planets were so easy to come by, wouldn't it reason that the Darrvasons would already be in possession of one?

I release a long sigh, then hop off the bed and head to the shower, thankful that it turns on without any issues. Normally, taking more than one shower a day wouldn't be possible, but the Darrvason engineers have already worked wonders on the Jansonna . The recirculated air smells fresher, and water and food rations have been increased. The lights in the corridors rarely flicker anymore, and ship-wide computer systems are running at near-optimum levels. Best of all, the ship is no longer freezing. I haven't seen my breath in over a week.

I hurry to get dressed in my casual evening clothes, donning a long blue skirt and a cozy sweater. I apply the faintest hint of eye makeup and then stand near the doorway, listening for the sounds of conversation.

My stomach flips. They're still talking in hushed tones, though on occasion, someone raises their voice in an urgent whisper-shout that reveals the seriousness of whatever topic they're discussing. I know it has something to do with the Darrvasons and the alliance.

I pray they're just a couple of old men venting about the current state of affairs. I pray they aren't truly plotting.

Does it suck that humankind must give over two thousand women to the Darrvasons? Yes, very much so. But I can't see an alternative. If we don't agree to the aliens' terms, I doubt they would help us out of the kindness in their hearts. We would remain stranded, dead in the water, with the worldship's systems on the verge of total failure.

Finally, I summon the courage to leave my room. When I reach the kitchen doorway, I pause in the hallway and face my father and his comrades.

"Whatever you're plotting, gentlemen, I suggest you stop." I meet my father's eyes. "I had a little run-in with Commander Hampton recently. He believes you're a criminal and that you've incited violence on the ship before. He also announced that your engineering skills wouldn't be needed for much longer, and he suggested that you might meet with an unfortunate accident. You should lie low and watch your back. Keep your damn nose clean so you aren't implicated in any more rebellions." I'm not on friendly terms with my father, but I don't want to see him jailed again, or worse. I think of the depressurization chambers that are used for executions and suppress a shudder.

My father stands and places a hand on the shoulder of the man seated next to him. "Geoffrey here just told me an interesting story. He says you were caught in the corridors after curfew and taken to the brig. That's why you disappeared for two days." He scoffs. "You thought I didn't notice you were gone, but I did. Geoffrey also says you were one of five women who were given to the Darrvasons for medical examinations, and you were released from the brig early as a reward for your cooperation ." He points to an empty chair at the table. "Sit. I want to hear everything. All the details. Perhaps you learned something about the Darrvasons that will be useful."

Horror washes through me. Does he honestly expect me to help him? I want nothing to do with any rebellions on the worldship, big or small. I also don't want to reveal anything that happened during my examination. It feels too personal, my interactions with Zahhn too intimate to share with anyone.

I shake my head and back away. "No. I've got to go." I'm due at the speakeasy soon, but even so I have no wish to participate in my father's little meeting. Especially if it involves divulging information that might help harm the Darrvasons. I haven't forgotten that my father wants to kill Zahhn, and I'm grateful that he doesn't know his name.

" Tell her ," one of the men hisses.

"Tell me what?"

My father tilts his head, and his eyes spark with malicious glee. "The Darrvason you entertained last night doesn't appear to be on the Jansonna . We've been tracking and constantly verifying the locations of all the Darrvasons currently aboard the worldship. He must've departed early this morning on a shuttle. But, if he's returned to the Haxxal , which we believe he has, as all the Darrvasons who've visited the Jansonna have come from the lead ship in their fleet, he's already been exposed ."

My mouth goes dry. "Exposed to what?"

"A deadly virus brought aboard by one of the thirty women." My father smiles. "If he's not dead yet, he will be soon. The Haxxal and all the advanced technology it holds will belong to us. So will the Jansonna . Mark my words: Captain Warren's days are numbered."

The men chuckle darkly, and one of them adds, "In the single fucking digits, baby."

My trepidation increases, and I take a few more steps back. Worry for Zahhn consumes me. I must speak with him. I must warn him. But how could I possibly get a message to the Haxxal , assuming that's where he traveled this morning? I fight back the hurt that pierces my heart when I think about how he left without saying goodbye.

"You're all fools." I spin on my heel and flee into the corridor, ignoring the outraged shouts of my father.