Chapter 9

(Gage)

The drawbacks of being the weasel

“Let’s build a better weasel trap, a bigger weasel trap, the most spectacular weasel trap ever,” Zachy grumbled as he stripped off his tank top and stepped out of his shorts after another long day in costume. “Then those fuckers run off and leave me when their bigger, better weasel trap leaves me stuck! Maintenance took forever getting it open so I could get out so there’s probably not any hot water left, and have I mentioned that I hate weasel traps?”

“You have mentioned it more than once during the conversation,” Gage pointed out as Zachy stepped out of his shorts and underwear and stuffed them in the laundry bag in his locker.

“Uggg, just why does it always have to be a weasel trap. Why can’t they ever build something to trap someone else? Do you know how many times I’ve gotten stuck in one of their traps and needed to wait for maintenance to figure out how to free me? They’ve had to use a blowtorch before. It sucked! I hate it. I hate it. I hate it! Uggg.”

Stomping off, Zachy soon disappeared behind the door to the shower room, leaving Gage to make the split-second decision to change their plans for the evening. There was no way Zachy was sinking into his little space in the mood he was in right now. Maybe later, after he’d had time to finish venting, he’d express a desire to play, but this was one of those times when he’d just be setting him up for failure and frustration if he took him to the club like this. And probably led Cooper to think Zachy’s day out at the Wet n’ Wild was a fluke. Best not to have their first lesson be when Zachy was in the wrong kind of mood.

What they needed was someplace with food, treats, and a way for Zachy to burn off his angry energy.

Flipping through the attractions section of his phone, Gage soon spotted Blondie’s Cheesecake and Bowling. Scrolling through the images revealed a menu filled with finger foods and every type of cheesecake imaginable, from full slices to little bites. They even had cheesecake bits that they sprinkled on their sundaes, including a decadent, three scoop banana split topped with whipped cream, cherries and cheesecake crumbs.

A few rounds of bowling between dinner and desert and they’d be more than ready to pack one of those sundaes away.

Stepping up beside the door, he rapped on the wood to get Zachy’s attention.

“Hey, would you be upset if we didn’t go to the club tonight?” Gage asked. “It seems like you need to vent, so I thought maybe you’d like to grab dinner with me at this bowling alley I just came across. They’ve got cheesecake too, if we want dessert.”

“Oh my God, Blondies? I love Blondies. It’s the absolute best cheesecake I’ve ever tasted and that’s saying something because my grandma makes some amazing cheesecakes, including this Oreo one where she scrapes all the cream filling out and layers it on top of the cheesecake when it’s nearly finished, then she pours crumbled Oreo bits over that and lets it bake until it’s melty gooey awesomeness. That’s what Blondie’s cheesecakes are like. Bits and melty pieces and ooey-gooey goodness. I’d love to go, but isn’t my…Cooper… gonna be pissed that you didn’t bring me?”

“You leave him to me. I’ll call and see if he’d like to join us.”

“Ohh, nice. I’d rather spend the night bowling than in the playroom. At least then it’ll be okay for me to picture people’s faces on the pins when the ball is smashing into them.”

Laughing, Gage scrolled through his contacts until he came across Cooper’s name.

“I’ve been guilty of doing that a time or two myself,” Gage admitted before he moved away from the shower area so he could call Cooper.

“Hey,” Cooper said, the noise in the background making it obvious that he was already at the club.

“Change of plan for tonight,” Gage explained. “Zachy had a shitty day at work, so we’re going to Blondies to decompress if you want to join us.”

“That place is amazing. I’ll change and meet you there. He didn’t get hurt or anything, did he?”

“No, nothing like that or I’d have called you right away. It’s just typical work shit. We all know how that goes.”

“No shit. Okay, I’ll see you at Blondies.”

“See ya there,” Gage said before disconnecting the call and shoving the phone in his back pocket.

It was only a ten-minute ride, so he called in an order for chicken tenders, fried shrimp, fried calamari, fried oysters, clam strips, onion rings and fried mushrooms, so their food would be ready when they arrived.

The selection of soup and sandwiches brought in each day by catering was awesome, but by the end of the day, Gage was always ready for something a bit more filling, and he spent the bulk of his day sitting on his ass. Zachy was constantly in motion, even in the weasel trap, shaking the bars and tugging at the theaters, doing whatever he could think of to try to free himself and never succeeding. He played the part brilliantly, from curious and naughty, to frustrated and pouting after he’d gotten caught again. He really became the character and even chattered and squeaked when other characters got too close to the trap, just to let them know he was unhappy at being thwarted again.

Like most nights, Zachy’s hair darkened the shoulders of his t-shirt and dripped down his back, which meant it would be freezing in just a few weekends when winter was well and truly upon them. He’d already started sticking some cool hippy-trippy hats in his online shopping cart, all fitting Zachy’s grungy skater vibe, right down to the knitted smiley face dangling off the tip of one.

It only took him a minute to make sure he had everything he needed, then they shut the light off in the dressing room and headed for Gage’s car. Most of the short ride was filled with rants about the different weasel traps over the years, including one that Gage was shocked to hear had been permitted.

“They created an actual pit and glued fake dirt and weeds to the inside,” Zacky griped. “For a whole season there were random trap doors all over the place. I never knew when I was going to accidentally trigger one and have to reshoot the scene, or worse, have to rattle off improv because they loved how spontaneous it was and decided to keep it in there. There was one show where I fell in like thirty seconds into the taping and had to do the rest of the episode from the pit because the director decided to roll with it to see how it turned out.”

“Did he wind up reshooting it?”

Zachy huffed and crossed his arms. “No, it was awesome, it just sucked doing it all from the hole. They kept it too, it’s in the back of the prop room, along with the weasel wheel, another of the truly entertaining props that have made my days interesting.”

“So, what kind of wheel are we talking about here?” Gage asked. “They kind where they have to spin it to determine your punishment for the naughty things you do, or one you had to run around in so you wouldn’t be able to sneak up on anyone?”

“Ugg, the second one,” Zachy groaned. “Please never suggest the punishment idea. I’m sure they’ll jump all over it and who knows what they’d come up with, let alone the kid actors. Some of them are bloodthirsty, oh my God. One little girl suggested they hang me from a tree and use me as the pinata. Two of the other kids and even one of my co-actors cheered at that and for a moment there, I really thought the production manager was thinking about it.

“Would have been the end of the show if they’d run with it,” Gage said. “That’s way too violent, even if they were using paper or plastic bats.”

“Exactly, and talk about rude, but I blame that on the parents. They see their kid in front of the camera and suddenly start treating them like little starlets instead of reminding them that they still have to say please and excuse me .”

“Yeah, I’ve already experienced a small taste in dealing with one of the moms,” Gage said. “I don’t know what made her think that I’d honor her request to turn her daughter’s mic up just a tick louder than the other members of the cast since she has such a pretty voice , but it gets lost sometimes when several of them are talking at once. ”

Zachy groaned at that and shook his head. “I’m glad I don’t have to deal with them too often. That might be one of the few upsides to being the villain.”

“But there aren’t many other ones, are there?” Gage asked, shooting him a sidelong look as he pulled into a parking spot beside the bowling alley and shut off the car.

Zachy tried to smile and shook his head instead, peering up at him from beneath a fringe of bangs. “Not really. I just wish I could be one of the fun characters for once.”

“Maybe it’s time to think up new ways to bring the fun back to your character,” Gage suggested, keeping his tone neutral. He didn’t want Zachy to feel criticized, but he did want to give him something to consider.

Zachy was quiet for a moment, as he tucked a still damp hunk of hair behind his ear.

“There could be some truth to that,” Zachy conceded. “But it might be easier to think about after I’ve smashed some pins.”

Chuckling, Gage followed him around to the front of the building. “Fair enough.”

“I just…ugggg,” Zachy grumbled, because now they were waiting at the counter behind other people, and he was clearly doing his best not to say something rude.

Gage appreciated the effort, and the way Zachy kept his grumbled complaints growled beneath his breath as they made their way to their table.

“I bet there are some things a weasel can teach the other characters too,” Zachy said. “I did a lot of research about behavior and movements when I was cast, maybe it’s time to go back over my notes.”

“Have you looked into the folklore side?” Gage asked.

“Uh-uh, no, I haven’t,” Zachy said, then he pulled out his phone and typed a quick note in the notepad app he was constantly adding things too and scratching them off as he got them done.

“I love it, so I don’t forget stuff or lose the paper I write them down on,” Zachy had explained the third or fourth time he pulled it out during their weekend together.

“It’s a very good idea.” Gage had told him.

“Thank you,” Zachy said as he finished adding his note. “You’re right, I shouldn’t wait around for the writers to come up with ideas if I don’t like the way the show is going. I need to present some changes of my own instead of just suggestions to go along with the current storyline. Still, sometimes I just wanna go stabby, stabby, stab with a pen all over the scripts they hand out.”

“Stabby, stabby, stab, huh?” Gage asked as their food arrived, complete with a container of each of the different dipping sauces they had. “Would you settle for dunky, dunky, dunk?”

Zachy’s eyes roamed over all of that golden fried delicious seafood, onion rings and mushrooms and his eyes widened. He licked his lips and started squirming in his seat in the little shimmy dance he did whenever he was excited or pleased about something.

“Ohhh! dunky dunk dunk dunk, dunk dunk,” Zachy said as he picked up a wide, rectangular strip of calamari and dunked it in the blooming onion sauce.

Gage chuckled at his enthusiasm as he reached for one of the onion rings, watching his eyes light up across the table as he happily chewed.

“Ooooooo, yummy yum yum yum, yum yum.” Zacky sing sang and hummed after he’d finished his first bite.

“Hey, here you are,” Cooper said as he arrived beside their table and Zachy waved at him and smiled brightly, then opened his arms for a big hug.

Cooper hugged him and patted his back, then started nudging Zachy over, until Gage shook his head and stood.

“Sit on this side with me,” Gage said as he stepped out of the booth to let Cooper take the seat beside the wall.

He hoped the man realized that not interfering meant anytime the three of them were out together, not just in the club.

“Mmmmm nommy nommy, yummy, yummy, yum, Zachy continued to sing softly each time he dipped a piece of seafood in something, little crunches punctuating the words as he happily dug into their feast.

“He looks happier than I expected after what you said on the phone.”

“He needed a chance to vent, which he hasn’t fully gotten out of his system. Hunger just trumped frustration for the moment.”

“I ordered a pizza and some sliders,” Cooper said as he flagged down a waitress to give his name and table number. “I guess I should have asked if you already had food covered.”

“There’s no such thing as too much food when it comes to bowling,” Gage declared. “And we’ve got the lane right here in front of us, so we can munch in between frames as often as we’d like.”

“Good plan.”

“I’m gonna smash Oswald’s face in with the biggest ball I can throw,” Zachy grumbled, his bloodthirsty declaration clearly throwing Cooper for a loop. His eyebrows shot up while Gage just leaned back in his chair and chuckled when Zachy stabbed his fork through a shrimp.

“Stabby, stabby, stabby, you pretentious little beakface!”

“Wow, you umm, you’ve got some longstanding issues with your coworkers, don’t you?” Cooper said. “Are Oswald and Beakface also personal assistants?”

“Oswald is Beakface,” Zachy growled, scowling as he popped the shrimp in his mouth. “And the only thing he’s ever assisted with is all of them getting on my nerves.”

Cooper’s lips pursed and he nodded before glancing at Gage. “Good call on changing things up for the night”

Gage quirked an eyebrow at him but said nothing. The man would figure out soon enough that Gage knew how to read a situation and how to steer away from potential disaster by getting in front of things before they could happen, rather than waiting until bullshit went down and doing his best to clean it up.

Proactive versus reactive. That was just one of the many differences between them.

Stabby, stabby, stabby, right to the beakety beak face,” Zachy was singing now, but he kept it low and soft enough that no one not seated at their table would be able to hear him. He was eating though and shockingly without mess with how many sauces there were to dunk the seafood in, so Gage dug in and joined him, the three of them able to empty two containers before the pizza and sliders arrived.

Zachy had no interest in either, so Gage joined Cooper in eating them to leave the bulk of the seafood to Zachy. Seeing the careful, dainty way he ate in costume reflected here, when he was clearly agitated, came as a shock to him, until he thought back to the waterpark and recalled Zachy eating the exact same way, the only difference was that he hadn’t had sleeves he’d needed to roll up. Gage had caught him make the motion, then giggle when it dawned on him that he was in a tank top.

Reflex then, from eating in costume all the time. Just like the way he held the napkin beneath the food as he brought it to his lips and only allowed the tips of his two dunking fingers to touch the sauce.

“I’m ready to smash pins now,” Zachy declared several minutes later as he cleaned his hands on one of the wet wipes. “But tomorrow I am spending the whole morning doing research.”

“Are you as good at this as you are at mini golf?” Cooper asked.

Zachy nodded and grinned. “Better.”

“How much better?”

Turning, Zachy glanced around, then pointed to one of the bowling league banners hanging on the wall. It was dated two years prior, but third from the top read Zachariah Emmerson.

“Guess I’m really going to have to get used to losing to you, huh?” Cooper admitted.

“How bad did you lose to him at miniature golf? Gage asked.

“Twenty-three strokes.”

“Holy shit, that wasn’t a loss,” Gage said, chuckling as he shook his head at Cooper, that was a slaughter.”

“I called it a massacre, but yeah, same difference and he wasn’t the least bit repentant about it either.”

“Of course not, why would he be?” Gage remarked as he stepped over to one of the racks to choose a ball.

“Of course, had I known this was the direction our evening would turn, I’d have put my custom designed ball in the trunk along with my bowling shoes.”

“Same!” Zachy declared. “I just had it buffed for the season too.”

“Do you bring it here?”

“Always,” Zachy explained. “But league nights are Wednesdays and ever since they designated it our late production night I can’t play.”

“Then we might need to make our own weekly bowling date, so we stay in practice,” Gage offered.

“Is a novice welcome to join in?” Cooper asked.

“As long as he doesn’t mind losing,” Gage said when Zachy smiled brightly and clapped his hands at the prospect of an evening spent together, just the three of them tossing their balls.

Laughing and glad he hadn’t said that shit out loud, Gage took a seat and started entering their names in the computer.

“Alright, Zachy is up first, Cooper you’re second, and I’ll go last,” Gage declared.

Giggling, Zachy rubbed the bottom of his ball, cracked his neck, then whipped a spinny strike down the center of the aisle with a hell of a lot of power behind it. The pins didn’t wobble, they flew when the ball hit them, while Zachy danced and sang his smashity, smash the beakface song on his way back to where they sat. It was the perfect way to kick off the game, the frame, and the rest of their night.