Chapter 8

(Cooper)

Only if you’re willing to do things my way

“Thanks for agreeing to meet me,” Cooper said as he reached the table where Gage already sat in a near empty courtyard dining area behind a local bistro.

They shook hands after Cooper sat down, an uneasy silence falling over them as Cooper watched Gage appraise him from across the table.

“I wanted the opportunity to speak to you face to face after the videos you sent me over the weekend,” Cooper explained. “I’m still not sure what to think about them.”

“Why?”

“You said you didn’t tell him that you were going to be keeping me updated about how he was acting.”

“Because I didn’t.”

“I’m not saying you’re lying…”

“Then what are you saying?”

“That I don’t understand how the hell you got him to act like that!” Cooper snapped, a little growl creeping up from deep in his throat when Gage didn’t so much as raise an eyebrow at him. He looked completely unbothered and even amused at seeing how frustrated Cooper was, but dammit all….

Seeing his boy…. boyfriend, act like a perfect little angel for another Daddy pissed him right the hell off. Why the fuck hadn’t Zachy ever been able to do that for him?

“Let me make something very clear to you,” Gage said. “I didn’t get him to act like anything. I didn’t caution him about his behavior or tell him he needed to do things a certain way. I observed and what I noticed right off the bat was that exposing him to a bunch of different options all at once sends his anxiety through the roof. He immediately starts to overthink and rush to decide, which fuels his impulsiveness and makes him squirrely. The moment I reminded him to breathe and that we had all day to try whatever activities wanted to, he chose, and we went over to ride it together.”

“And he never darted off and started weaving between people to get where he wanted to go faster?”

“No, but it’s not like I turned him loose or sent him on ahead without me unless he was with two of his little friends, in which case one of us was always able to keep an eye on him. He did fine. No leashes or cuffs required.”

“So did you just hold his hand all day?” Cooper asked, because that had been suggested to him too. Only he’d really wanted Zachy to just do as he was told like so many of the others on the ship had done.

Though he had seen a lot of other Daddies using leashes. Maybe he should have taken that bit of advice instead of bristling and letting himself feel like he was the only one out there failing the moment things started going wrong between him and his…Zachy.

“Sometimes I held his hand, and sometimes I just rubbed the back of his neck or wrapped an arm around him. It got to where he started to look back and make sure I wasn’t too far away the moment he realized I’d stopped touching him.”

Sighing, Cooper rubbed the back of his neck.

“Is Zachy your first little?” Gage asked the moment the server had finished refilling their water glasses.

“Second, but the first only lasted a few weeks.”

“Why?”

“He was extremely needy and always wanted to be in my lap, even when I was trying to get shit done. It turned out that he wanted to be someone’s full time boy.”

“And you’re looking for a playtime little who knows how to be self-sufficient and amuse himself when you can’t pay attention to him.”

“Exactly.”

“Are you sure you’re looking for a little and not a pet?” Gage asked.

His expression still hadn’t changed, in fact, he seemed almost bored with the conversation, like it was a waste of his time to come here when he was the one who’d put so many doubts and questions in Cooper’s head with those videos he’d sent.

“I’ve had a few pups, and I love the dynamic, but there were still aspects it didn’t fulfill for me.”

“Such as?”

“The conversation when a little is excitedly telling you about something they’ve seen or gotten to do. And storytime. Zachy loves stories, I read him one every night before I moved.”

“Why’d you stop?”

Cooper shook his head. “I didn’t intend to. I guess in my head I’d figured on reading to him in person only everything with the trip took place and we definitely needed some distance after we got back. Things just never got back to the way they used to be.”

“You mean before you needed to be a Daddy in person and didn’t learn enough about how to be one before you got on a boat with your boy and failed to help him control his impulses. So, I ask you again. Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer a pet over a boy?”

“I’d prefer Zachy! Cooper snapped. “I moved all this way because I love him. Yeah, the opportunity to work at the head office was a bonus, especially when it means working directly with men whose designs I’ve admired for years. But Zachy was the real reason I moved my life halfway across the country and I’m getting sick and damned tired of people trying to take him away from me.”

“I won’t deny wanting him,” Gage said. “I think the videos I provided you with are proof that I have plenty of experience with littles and that Zachy getting to be little is something he gets an immense deal of pleasure from. It isn’t fair of you to try and take that away from him because you’re struggling. If you truly love him and want Zachy to be his true authentic self, then you’ll learn how to do better so you can be the Daddy for him that he needs. I get the impression that he loves you too. I’ve also seen how sad he’s been lately, which was the real reason I decided to step in.”

“Okay, but now that you’ve interjected yourself, what are your plans?” Cooper asked. “You and Zachy obviously have a connection through work, which already leaves you one up on the time you get to spend with him. Is he supposed to split his time after work between us or what, exactly, are you thinking about here?”

“Ultimately that will be up to Zachy,” Gage said. “But I’m willing to work with you and teach you how to be the Daddy he deserves to have. If you’re not interested, just say so and I’ll happily step in and be Zachy’s Daddy so he doesn’t lose that part of himself.”

“So, what, you’d be his Daddy and I’d be his boyfriend?”

“I think that part of your dynamic is between the two of you to work out. I just question your motives for wanting to date him when you are clearly not giving each other what you want or need. Why haven’t you broken things off with him?”

“Have you asked Zachy why he didn’t break up with me if he’s so unhappy?” Cooper snapped.

“I have and the only reason he’s unhappy is because he realizes he’s been making you unhappy and he hasn’t been able to prove to you that he can do better.”

“Those videos were proof right there,” Cooper said. “Everyone else could see that he was capable of being a good boy. I was too busy holding on to how pissed off I was about the way things went on the cruise to see where I’d contributed to making that mess.”

“He’s a sweet, loving boy,” Gage said. “He just wants to make people happy. All he needs is reassurance and someone to notice when he’s getting overwhelmed. That’s all of them, even the ones who have been little for a long time. Do you really think Zachy is the only one to be indecisive or act out?”

“He’s the only one I’ve seen acting that way.”

“Because you leave too early,” Gage pointed out. “You don’t see how the rest of them get towards the end of the night. Ryu gets downright stubborn and pouty when he gets too tired and Hank, his Daddy, really has to put the bass in his voice when Ryu gets that way. But he’s also learned to keep watch of the time, not keep Ryu out too late, and look for signs that his boy is getting grumpy, so he can head things off before they get to a point when he needs his timeout chair.”

“Damn…okay,” Cooper said, leaning forward as he gave the man his undivided attention. “So, what does he do when he sees the signs?”

“Checks the time, talks to his boy to see if it’s sleepy grumpy, hungry grumpy, or bored grumpy, and acts accordingly,” Gage explained. “Sometimes that means having him say goodbye to his friends so they can head home, and other times it means he needs Daddy’s attention and someone to engage with, either in the littles playroom, the art center, or out in the big play spaces for adult time. It’s all about communication. After Zachy wore himself out running from one attraction to the next, he curled up next to me under a tree, nibbled his snacks, and promptly fell asleep with his head on my leg. I wound up carrying him to the car because I didn’t have the heart to wake him after the busy weekend he’d had.”

“You work at the same place, weren’t you just as busy?”

“My job and Zachy’s are very different. I have the benefit of an air-conditioned booth.”

“I guess he’s always busy rushing around getting things for people.”

“That’s one way of putting it.”

“I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want to hurt him either,” Cooper admitted.

“You do and you’ll have more than just me to answer to. Mama Mimzy has taken a liking to him and so has Hank. Zachy has made friends with both of their littles.”

“It’s like he was a completely different person when he was out with you.”

“No, he was still Zachy, but I’m a completely different Daddy than the one you were trying to be, and that’s the difference. You were trying without taking time to research and learn if your methods were good ones to use with a little or not. When they didn’t work, you wanted your little to change, rather than changing your own behavior to guide the little you claim to love so much.”

“I do…”

“Love him, yes, I know, you keep saying it, but you’ve yet to do anything to prove it to,” Gage said.

“I thought the only one I needed to prove it to was Zachy?”

“I’m afraid not, not anymore. You’ve got members of the community concerned about your treatment of him, so we’re all going to be watching and interacting with him, to make sure you aren’t stifling him in any way.”

“But I’m guessing what you’d all really like would be for me to break things off with him so you can swoop in and show off all your knowledge while laughing about what an inept loser I am.”

“Wow, self-deprecating much? I see you have much more to work on than just what style of Daddy you want to be. It bleeds over, you know. If you’re frustrated with yourself or have something going on outside of your dynamic that makes you doubt who you are, you’ll wind up taking it out on your partner, which you’ve clearly done. As for what I’d like, there is only one thing that matters to me about the outcome of this situation and that’s that Zachy wind up in a relationship where he isn’t being made to feel like he’s the biggest fuckup of all time. He doesn’t deserve that, not when every issue you’ve had with him could have been solved by you taking the situation in hand, literally, and holding on until your boy felt steady and focused enough to make good decisions, not ones that were going to leave him permanently in the doghouse”

“It wasn’t meant to be permanent; it was just until I’d gotten things worked out.”

“Which in a little’s mind equates to the longest time out in the history of time outs and a rather unfair punishment when you’re making him serve it in public, where he can see all of the amazing things he could be playing with, but isn’t allowed to touch.”

“Which he did anyway.”

Gage slammed his hand on the table, rattling their water glasses and the plates with their sandwiches that the server had just set down.

“No, he didn’t.”

The cold, stern voice was a direct contrast to the plate rattling table slap.

“That toy he was fighting with the other little over was his,” Gage explained. “And you made him give it to her. It turns out she’s got a bad habit of crawling over and grabbing things. Her Mommie is going to be working on that with her, which includes staying by her side whenever she’s in the playroom and making her hand the toys back and apologize whenever she crawls off with one. It’s all a process. It all takes work. Some of these littles never got to be kids, or the childhoods they experienced were awfully lonely ones. They don’t all come to us knowing what proper behavior when playing with others is, so we have to teach them. If you’re not up for that, then maybe you need to reconsider if you’re the right Daddy for a little of any sort.”

“Back to that again.”

“Because I think you need to hear it and really think about it.”

“I love Zachy. I’d rather take you up on your offer to teach me to be a better Daddy for him.”

Gage appraised him slowly, so Cooper took off his shades and met his gaze without anything between them.

“Okay, we’ll try it,” Gage said at last. “But there are rules. You don’t question the instructions I give or attempt to interfere with Zachy’s little time in any way. That means there will be no more of him sitting on the sidelines, but you might find yourself doing a lot of sitting and observing everyone else so you can see what you’ve been missing. I expect it will be eye opening for you. I also expect you to get Zachy’s toy back and apologize for not letting him explain his side of the story.”

“Now that you’ve told me it came out of his bag, I feel like shit for making him leave over that.”

“You should,” Gage said. “You let someone bully your little and then you bullied him into basically saying it was okay and relinquishing the toy when the whole time he was in the right. Do you have any idea how confusing that is, in that mindset? You are supposed to be his world, his champion and protector, and instead, you swooped down and told him he was bad, even when he’d been sitting there on his best behavior before the other little approached him. Where were you at the start of that whole incident, anyway?”

Cooper sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“There was a demo on bondage positions,” Cooper muttered, feeling his cheeks heat up as a bout of sheepishness crept in. “I’d told Zach I’d be right back, ten minutes at the most. I just wanted to check out some of the gear.”

“Only you got sucked in.”

“Yeah.”

“And when you got back there was a full-fledged argument in place that had come after Zachy had chased after her twice to get his toy back. Incidentally, he returned to the spot you assigned him each time, even if the other little did follow him over and take it away from him again. You showed up as Mama Mimzy was about to intervene. It would have been better for Zachy if you’d let her. She only backed off because you haven’t been the most receptive to hearing the other caretaker’s suggestions.”

Gage paused and drained half of his glass, then leveled Cooper with a steely glare.

“Frankly I don’t give a shit about your level of receptivity,” Gage said when he finally resumed speaking. “If you’re about to screw up, or be unfair, I’m going to step in and overrule you, so keep that in mind when you say you want to learn from me. You will fuck up. I will call you on it and you will meet my very exacting expectations before you do an event or play night with Zachy again. If he wants to go out with you to do some regular shit fine, that’s between the two of you, but I will also be taking him out to do those things too, just so you know. He likes spending time with me. Those were his words, so I intend to make sure he gets to do as much of it as he’d like.”

“I hear you,” Cooper said, finally beginning to see that this was the last chance he’d be given to figure things out with Zachy. His boyfriend had found a Daddy, and that man was already fiercely protective of him.

The way you should have been.

The nagging voice in the back of his head had a point, as did every single thing Gage had said to him. The video evidence had been damning too. There Zachy had been, loud, giggling, skipping and dancing along, but never zooming like a heat seeking missile and never with the back of his head disappearing the way it often had on the cruise ship.

“Then meet us at the club on Wednesday night and you can see how he does with his friends. We’re heading over straight from work since it’s always a long night for us and I want to make sure he has a full belly before playtime.”

Cooper sighed again.

“No wonder he was always begging to go through the drive through the moment I’d picked him up.”

“Please tell me you took him.”

“Sometimes, but sometimes….”

“No, no buts, no sometimes,” Gage growled. “And I’m willing to bet you lectured him about not making sure he ate something before you picked him up. You’d better be glad I didn’t know about that before I made the offer to teach you. I’d have just told him you didn’t deserve him and to stay the hell away. You cannot make sweeping decisions without knowing the full story!”

“Why is it all on me? Why didn’t Zachy insist that we stop so he could get something?”

“Why the fuck do you think?”

Oh.

Ohhhh.

“I see the lightbulb has gone off. Good. Let’s hope it stays lit, especially on Wednesday when we get to see how well you do at following instructions,” Gage said.

“Anything special I need to bring?”

“Treats. We are going to reward our boy when he does something good, and you are going to see just how much he feeds off positive attention.”

“Any particular kind?” Cooper blurted as Gage stood to leave.

He paused in mid-crouch, shook his head, then straightened up completely.

“Yea, one’s Zachy loves, dumbass,” Gage hissed before he stormed away, leaving Cooper to wonder how many more times Gage was going to call him that before Cooper caught a clue and figure out how to be a proper Daddy…though a niggling part of him wondered if they’d ever be on equal footing when it came to Zachy.