Chapter 5

"You sure you cool with coming to my place?" Jay gave her his eyes briefly before he was back cruising down the street. Of course, slow jams played on low to continue the vibe from earlier.

Candi was sure she was sure. At the same time, she was sure she shouldn't go to his house. She was for sure feeling like the old Candi, addicted to sex and drugs while feeling like the new Candi addicted to being close to him. Just that fast, she was replacing one addiction with the next.

His hand landed on her thigh, pulling her back to him in the now. "Magic, I can take you home and I swear I'll be cool with that."

"No!" she said loud and fast. Licking her lips, she needed to bring herself back down. "I mean, no. I want to spend some time with you if that's what you want."

"It's been a minute since I've known what I wanted, but this… I ain't questioning this shit, which should make a nigga question this shit, ain't it?"

Knowing he was battling the same thing she was battling made her want to be near him that much more. With every passing second, Candi fell more and more for the man, who, in a sense, was a stranger, but in her soul, he felt more familiar than anything or anyone she'd ever been close to. Jay felt like a personal piece of happiness and he hadn't done anything. Either he was just that special or her bar was too damn low. Candi wasn't certain and that didn't help with her already over-processing mind.

Downtown Sapphire City had to be her favorite part of the city. It was old but full of charm. Brick buildings looked to have sat for centuries and were kept in pristine condition. During the day, it bustled with people, but at night, it was still and beautiful. The shops were closed, except for a few quick spots to eat at. The sidewalks were lined with vintage light poles that added to its original construction date. It was beautiful—another movie-ready background.

Candi hadn't responded to his half-question, half-statement. Instead, she adjusted her eyes from the beauty of the scenery to the beauty of Jay's chiseled side profile. Even from the side, he was fine as hell. The tattoos on his neck captivated your eyes before they adjusted to the ink that sat above his eyebrow. It was like God gave him the perfect skin color just for him to let someone needle graffiti all over it.

Feeling the car slow down, Candi noticed the brick building they were pulling up to. Jay tapped his key card at the gate to gain entrance.

"You would live in something like this," Candi teased.

"Shit, you should see the real place I call home. This is just my city shit."

She adjusted her body toward him with furrowed brows. "Um, you bringing me to your hoe condo?"

"Nah, this is my lover's loft." Jay was quick-witted.

"Whatever it is, I don't think I like it. Why you ain't take me to your real house, Jayshun? I ain't worthy?" Her neck snaked with each word.

Jay backed into his designated parking spot before he answered her. "There she is. I was wondering when the real Candi was going to come out to play."

Kissing her teeth, she turned her head.

His hand was back on her thigh. "My real house is in Alabama. I can take you if you want to go."

"Tonight?" She cut her eyes at him.

His shoulders went up nonchalantly. "If that's what you want."

"No, the lover's loft is fine, I guess. But who all you been loving in it?"

Instead of answering, he pushed his door open and rounded the car to open her door for her.

"Don't be ignoring me, Jayshun."

"Who don't even matter, Magic. You here now." His hand rested on the small of her back where her racerback tank started to rise just a little. The jeans she wore hugged her ass sensually. "How your ass shake in jeans?"

She blushed and laughed, loving every time he spoke. Candi didn't care what came out of his mouth just that she was blessed to listen to his unique tone and twang.

They took the elevator up to the fifth floor, which seemed like the highest floor since there were no other numbers higher than five on the keypad. His long fingers intertwined with hers, creating more goosebumps. This time, they littered her spine. At twenty-four, a man had never held her hand. It was pitiful when she thought about it.

When the elevator sounded, he stepped off first, making sure to keep a firm grip on her hand, guiding her to his door. He typed in a code to open the door where she was met with a beautiful loft-like studio apartment. Large floor-to-ceiling windows allowed the night sky and city lights to illuminate the dark space. Light oak floors looked freshly waxed while a massive cream-colored rounded sectional sat facing the window. She didn't see a TV but was sure he had at least one in his home. The kitchen had black cabinets with polished concrete countertops. Black industrial-style stainless steel appliances made the space look well above her tax bracket. Candi had been with many affluent men but none of their spaces seemed to scream money like Jay's. There were barely any walls that didn't have windows so she didn't recognize any artwork on them.

Straight ahead and to the left, she saw his half-made king-sized bed with a huge, dark gray headboard. Jay's home was stunning.

"This is nice as hell." Candi slipped out of her flat sandals to tip-toe around his space. She touched things, hoping to soak in his energy. From the short time she'd been around him, the home fit him and what he seemed to stand for. Masculine and loving.

Removing his watch, he set it on the small table by the front door. "I appreciate that. Make yourself at home. You're welcome to anything in here. Dead ass," he emphasized, feeling like she would hold back when he wanted her to let her hair down and be free in his house.

Spinning around fast, she eyed him. "Help myself to anything?" Her big, alluring eyes seared into him. Candi walked over to him slowly, keeping those magical eyes he claimed she had on him. "I can have anything in here?"

Jay pinched his nose and licked his lips. "Anything," he challenged.

Candi stood in front of him, chest heaving up and down as she challenged herself to give in to what she wanted. Lifting on her toes, she leaned in, initiating a kiss.

Jay allowed her one peck before his full, brown lips were on hers. His tongue pressed into the slits of her lips, demanding she allow him access to explore her mouth. His hands locked together and rested on her back to keep her steady. His mouth covered hers hungrily—like he'd been waiting his whole life to kiss her.

The feelings Jay gave her were frightening. The emotions were new. Pulling back, Jay's deep eyes searched hers for something. Something Candi wasn't sure he would find. When he was satisfied, he savagely kissed her again, sending her stomach into a dip like riding a rollercoaster.

Candi moaned as her hands roamed his bare chest.

When her hands dipped to the front of his jeans, he stopped her by placing his hands on hers. "I'm hungry." He smiled as his forehead rested on hers, looking down into her eyes. "Can you cook?"

Candi wasn't as confident as she just was. His stopping her felt like rejection. Too embarrassed to speak, she shook her head.

Jay continued his deep-sea dive into her eyes. "I want you… so fuckin' much. Don't question that. Okay?"

Candi nodded.

Shaking his head, he kissed her lips. "You gotta use these sexy ass lips for more than kissing. Answer me. I want you, Magic. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Jayshun," Candi whispered.

"Good. Now, get your ass up on that counter, and let me show you how to make the best omelet you will ever eat. You ain't allergic to anything, are you?" Candi went to shake her head. "Un uh. Words." His fingers tapped her lips.

"No." She smiled with a roll of her eyes.

Satisfied with her knowing how to follow his lead, Jay walked her into the kitchen. Lifting her, he sat her on the big island in the kitchen. "Watch and learn, Magic. I might need you to do this for me one day."

Candi's face started to hurt from all the smiling he had her doing. Jay seemed to be a charmer. Whether he was that way with everyone, she wasn't sure. Another fear was unlocked. Shaking off her uncertainty, she watched him move around the kitchen. It seemed that everything he did turned her on. Her panties were soaked and she wished she had told him to stop her by the house to get something to change into. Then again, maybe he was going to take her home later. Whatever the move was, Candi was going to be okay with it. The butterflies and goosebumps she got from being near him were enough to last her a lifetime. It was new and fun. She couldn't wait to tell her therapist about it.

Thinking about her therapist reminded her she had an appointment with her the next day. Candi told herself she'd sneak out early in the morning if he didn't take her home that night.

It took Jay all of twenty minutes to make one big omelet. It smelled delicious and she couldn't wait to taste it after all the cocky shit-talking he did while making it. She'd never laughed so much in one night in her entire life. Not with her girls or another man.

Snuggled on the couch, Jay had her leg on his while he blew the fork full of his omelet before feeding it to her. "And tell the truth." His brows raised inquiringly. His dick jumped at the sight of her lips closing around the fork full of egg. Teasing himself, he dragged the fork back slowly.

Candi tasted the food with her eyes closed. Flavor burst in her mouth. "It's good."

"Don't trip on me, Magic. How good is it? And tell the truth." He smiled big and bright. He'd taken his grill out earlier and his natural smile still twinkled.

Swatting him away, she joked. "I said it"s good."

"But how good?"

"Good, like I can eat it again."

"Man, watch out." His head fell back but shot back up when a thought came to his mind. Forking up some more food, he fed her again. Before she could chew it well, he leaned forward to kiss her.

In shock, her eyes shot open.

"Mhm." Jay nodded at the taste of eating food out of her mouth. "Now, that shit is good, ain't it?"

"You can't kiss me like that, Jayshun," Candi fussed, trying to compose herself.

"Why?"

"It's dangerous for a girl like me. You can't lift me just to let me fall. I-I—" Her eyes misted.

On alert, Jay sat up. "You what? Tell me, Candi. Anything. You can tell me anything. I want to know everything."

Wiping at her face, she shook her head. "You don't want to know everything. I won't be perfect to you anymore, and once the fantasy is gone, you'll be gone too."

He frowned. "Who made up those rules? You will be perfect to me, regardless. I can't explain it but I want you so bad. Like being close to you does something to me. I like the feeling."

"I'm an addict!" Candi blurted. "I was in rehab last year. I have therapy in the morning. There. Fantasy ruined."

Jay stood up and brought her with him. He walked her to the window to show her her reflection. "You see that?" he asked.

"What, the city? Yea, I see it."

"No, look closer." Gently, he pushed her curly weave behind her ear. "You see her?"

For a split second, Candi stopped breathing. Blinking a few times, her vision cleared of the tears that wanted to fall. She focused on herself. Then her eyes went to him standing behind her.

Jay kissed the side of her face. "You see her?"

"Yes." She wagged her head.

"You look exactly the same as before you told me you are an addict and go to therapy. The fantasy is only more whimsical. I still want you."

"Not if you knew everything."

"Even if I knew everything, Magic. I want to see where this can go for us. I like you," Jay confessed. "I like you a lot."

"But what happens when you don't like me anymore? I don't think I can go back to my life before you. I'm already thinking about how I want to wake up to you every morning. What happens when you no longer like who I am in the morning?" Candi was desperate to know. She had been let down so much in life that the only way she could live was if she knew the future.

Jay didn't respond because he didn't want to think about her not being with him in the future. Instead, he guided her to the bathroom. "I'll run you a bath. Go in my room and find something to sleep in." To send her off, he kissed her lips and slapped her ass when she turned to leave.

The massive walk-in closet was just a short walk through the even bigger bathroom. So many questions swirled through her head. Wanting to live in the moment, Candi pushed them to the back.

Jay had so many clothes and shoes. There were also a few boxes that caught her attention. Looking back, she made sure he wasn't watching her as she dug through one box that looked to house pictures. In a pretty, gold frame sat a beautiful picture of Jay and a woman. Upon further inspection, her mouth dropped.

"You find something?" Jay asked.

Candi jumped, dropping the frame.

He laughed. "Oh, you found something all right." Bending down, he picked the picture up, glancing at it. "Ask me."

"Is that Moonlight?" That was the most important question.

Jay confirmed it was.

"And she was… is?"

"My ex-fiancée."

"And you want my crackhead ass? Ain't no way. Yea, let me take my basic ass home. I can't compete with no shit like this." Candi tried to rush past him but was caught. He embraced her like he wanted her to be there with him.

"Did I love her? Yes. Do I love her? No. And you don't have to compete with her or anyone else. Don't trick yourself out of all this love I can give you, Magic. You're here with me because I want you to be here. Take your clothes off and get in the tub."

Reluctantly, a smile tugged at her lips. No matter how badly she wanted to run out of his house, she also wanted to stay. So, she stayed. Walking back into the bathroom, she noticed the tub filling up. It looked so relaxing, so she removed her clothes. Fully naked, Jay whistled, which made her blush. Many men had seen her body as an object. Not Jay though. His whistle felt like an appreciation—like he could see deeper than just her round ass, fat pussy, and nice boobs.

Candi winced just a little at the water's temperature as she dipped her body into the water. "You not getting in?"

"You just trying to see my dick." Jay worked up a cocky grin. "But nah, Magic, I want you to relax. I think I like seeing you relax. I like seeing your eyes smile from within."

"I am smiling," Candi argued.

He walked over to the tub. "That shit doesn't reach your eyes, though. I want your smile to tingle these pretty little toes." His hand went into the water to touch her pretty, orange-polished toes. "To rumble in your stomach." His hand traveled up her body where he tickled her tight stomach. "To dance on your heart." Using two fingers, he pretended to dance. "To crease your lips." Softly, his wet fingers traced her lips.

"I want to smile like that, Jayshun." Her confession came out in a plea. "And I want to return the feeling."

Now it was his turn to blush.

"Are we moving too fast?" Candi felt foolish for planning her whole life with Jay in her mind when they barely knew each other. What she felt had lingered since she got in his car. He felt like he could be hers and that was all Candi wanted. Something that was hers. A person she didn't have to share.

Lathering up a rag, Jay washed her body. "I don't think we moving fast enough. I'm following your lead. Wherever you want to go is fine with me."

"I'm broken," she murmured, slumping her shoulders and looking down.

Jay's movements didn't stall. "I'm a healer."

Candi fought every emotion in her body to not cry. The way he was already healing her was heartbreaking and heart-mending. So many ships had passed through her waters and none of them thought to stop and fix the lighthouse so they could see better. See the full picture.