5. Frederick

Chapter 5

Frederick

What was happening to me? Why did I keep getting erections? I hadn’t had one in years. Since high school, probably. I just didn’t feel those things. But since Saber showed up, I’d been having them all day.

And then crying? What was that all about? Crying was another thing I hadn’t done in years. All my emotions had kinda been turned off for a long time, and they suddenly seemed to all be coming back online at once.

I splashed some water on my face and pushed my palm along my penis to try to get it to soften up. I couldn’t go back out there like this, but we did need to get back to the office. We’d been gone for almost two hours, and I didn’t even know what we’d talked about the whole time. He just kept asking questions and drawing things out of me that I’d never admitted to in the past. Things I didn’t even understand.

I took several deep breaths and felt calm enough to head back out. When I got to our table, everything had been cleaned up and Saber had wrapped up what was left of my sandwich and handed it over to me in a paper bag.

“In case you get hungry later.” My empty cup was in his other hand. “Do you want a refill of your drink before we go?”

I looked down at the cup and shook my head. “No, thanks. I don’t drink a lot of soda. One is enough.” Unconsciously, my eyes moved to his chest, and I remembered what he said about lactating. I’d heard rumors about the Latin Brotherhood when I was in college, but there wasn’t anything like that at my school. At Brigham Young, we had to sign an honor code, and we weren’t allowed to do anything sexual or kinky. Of course, that didn’t stop most students from experimenting off campus, but I never even considered exploring my own sexuality, much less experimenting with something unusual. Although, it seemed my resistance to such things was coming to an end, and I now had a whole new set of issues to worry about…like the fact that my gosh darn erection was back.

“Is there anything else you need, Frederick?” Saber put his hand on my shoulder and looked down at me.

Standing so close to him, I felt like a child looking up at him. He was at least six inches taller than me and broad like he spent a lot of time working out. It was surprisingly…sexy. “No, thank you. I’m sorry I’m being weird. Just a little distracted today.”

“That’s okay.” His hand slid between my shoulder blades, and he gave me a gentle nudge forward. “It’s been an exciting day for me too. I can’t wait to see what you have in store for me next.”

Shoot. What was wrong with me? Did I forget how to walk? My mind was feeling a little hazy, but I forced myself to be present and remember what I was doing. I stepped out the door and put a foot of space between us so I could think more clearly. “Yeah, one of the complaints we get from our current clients is the interface for making one-off payments. I’ve made a few adjustments over the years, and they’ve worked in the short term, but now the code is a bit of a mess and we really need to come up with a more holistic approach to this problem. Maybe that’s something you can think about.”

“Absolutely. I spent a lot of time in user interface design, and it’s one of my favorite areas. I like making things easier for people and helping them find what they need, even if they don’t know exactly what they’re looking for.”

I turned and saw that he was looking straight at me as he said that.

“Do you know what I mean, Freddy?”

I nodded and swallowed hard. “Yeah, I think I’m beginning to.”

Saber showed me what he’d worked on before lunch, and he was good. The bug fixes I initially assigned to him were all easy, but there were lots of ways he could’ve approached each line of code. And he did them exactly the way I would have.

Cleanly. Elegantly.

I was impressed. When I explained the new project, I had no doubt he would be just as elegant in his execution. Some people just got all the advantages in life, and Saber was definitely one of them. Looks, brains, charm, and apparently, milk.

I still wasn’t sure what to make of that situation. My brain was telling me I should be disgusted and not think about it at all, but that was just my religious upbringing forcing its way to my frontal lobe. More than anything, I was curious. And the fact that my erection was not going away for more than a few minutes at a time, made it obvious that my body was curious too.

What did he mean by feeding people milk before bed? I couldn’t get those images out of my mind as I worked on auto-pilot for the rest of the afternoon.

I hadn’t realized the weight of the silence until Saber’s phone rang. I glanced at him, and he picked up his phone and smiled then looked up at me. “My mom. She probably wants to know how my first day went.”

I loved that he had a smile for his mother. My family and I weren’t on great terms, so it was nice that he was in a better place. “Yeah, take it.” I looked at the time, surprised by how late it had gotten. “I didn’t realize the time. You can get out of here. We’re good for today.”

He answered his call as I finished up what I had been working on, eager to head out too. I tried not to eavesdrop on his conversation, but the way his voice softened made it clear that he was close with his mother. That was lucky. Coming from a big family meant I never got any one-on-one attention from anyone. I was fed and clothed but never the center of anyone’s world.

And I never would be.

But by the way he smiled at whatever his mother was saying, it was clear he was the center of hers.

Saber chuckled softly. “Yes, you were both right. It’s been fun. My boss is really cool.”

I couldn’t help glancing up and catching his gaze as he stared at me.

“I think he and I could be great friends.”

My eyes went wide, and I forgot how to breathe when he said that. Why would someone like Saber want to be friends with someone like me? I was his complete opposite in every way and nothing like his friends from college.

At least, I didn’t think so.

I couldn’t deny my interest in his milk. And my overall attraction to him before I even knew about that was evident by the tent in my pants that just wouldn’t go away. When I got home, I’d have to try to take care of it, but I wasn’t even sure I knew how. I’d never really masturbated before. Once or twice, I accidentally ejaculated when I was in middle school, but then everything kind of turned off and it was never a problem again.

I could look up some adult videos online, but that brought up a whole new level of stress. What if somebody found out what I was doing? Was it even legal to watch pornography? I didn’t think it was illegal, but it had been pounded into my head for my whole life that it was definitely immoral.

My mood was suddenly dropping, and I just wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear for a little while.

“Hey, there, Freddy.” Saber was somehow beside me with his hand on my knee. “Are you okay?”

“What?” I realized I was holding my head in my palms and was breathing fast. “Yeah, sorry. Just…tired, I guess.”

“Are you sure that’s it? You were fine one second, and then you just kinda shut down.” His hand went up and cupped my shoulder. “Do you want some water or juice?”

“Juice, maybe?” Sugar sounded good. That would perk me up. “I can get it.”

“No way.” His voice was stern, and he nudged me back into my chair. “You stay right there and I’ll go get you some juice from the break room.”

It was surprisingly easy to just do what he said. I relaxed into the chair and took slow, deep breaths until he returned and placed a bottle of cold apple juice in my hand.

“There you go, Freddy. Take a few drinks and see if that helps.”

No one ever called me Freddy, and I kinda liked it. Ralph and some of the executive team called me Fred now and then, but most people in my life called me Frederick and that’s what I was used to. Freddy was different. It wasn’t neutral at all. It felt…intimate.

Fortunately, the cold juice did help, and I felt better almost instantly.

“Thank you, Saber. I’m sorry about that. I guess I haven’t had enough water today.”

He leaned back on his heels, but kept his hand on my knee either for balance or comfort. Whose comfort, I wasn’t sure. “You have a lot of responsibility here, Frederick. You need to take care of yourself. And you need to let me help you do that.” His grip on my thigh tightened as his thumb rubbed over my knee. “What are your plans for dinner?”

Oh my gosh. Was he suggesting that we have dinner together? Would that be like a date? No way could I do that. “I have plans with some friends.” I looked at my watch and gasped. “Actually, I’m gonna be late if I don’t leave now. You did great today, Saber. Thanks for all your hard work.”

He stood up and took a step back. “Of course. What time do you want me here tomorrow?”

“I’m usually here right at eight, but most people don’t get in until nine or ten. Just come whenever you want.” I had no doubt he would get the work done, so there was no need for him to come in early just because I did.

He kept his eyes on me and then glanced across my desk to where I had a stack of business cards in a little holder. He pulled out one and took a look at it. “This is your mobile number?”

“Yeah, call or text if you need anything.” My heart started beating faster at the thought of him texting me at home.

He slipped the card into his pocket as he nodded. “Yeah, I might do that.”

A few minutes later, Saber was walking out of the office with a wave goodbye. I was still planted in my chair, waiting for my darn erection to relax enough that I could get to my car.

What I would do with it once I got home was a mystery. One I’d have to figure out for the first time in almost thirty years.