4. Saber

Chapter 4

Saber

Fuck, he’s cute. I didn’t know what to expect when Anne was talking about my new manager and how he was soft-spoken and dedicated to the company, but it was pretty obvious that Frederick was submissive.

And that added a whole new level to the job. And the office that positioned him directly across from me for eight to ten hours a day while he spent at least half that time glancing at me. I was actually done with his list after thirty-five minutes, but I didn’t want to stress him out, so I checked and rechecked my code about fifty times.

And then I noticed a few bits of messy code that could stand to be cleaned up, so I worked on those. And when I couldn’t stall any longer, I cleared my throat and looked up to see Frederick’s eyes locked on me. “I’m done.”

He didn’t respond at all for a full three seconds and then snapped out of it. “Oh, great.” He glanced at his watch. “It’s almost lunch time. Do you want to take a break and we can review it after?”

“Sure.” I was pretty sure he meant separate breaks, but I was too intrigued not to push him at least a little bit. “I’d love to go to lunch with you. What do you have in mind?”

His eyes went wide and he gasped. “Oh, well, there are a few restaurants within walking distance.” He turned toward the window as if looking for one of them. There’s a burrito place, or sushi, or a deli that’s pretty good.”

I quickly scanned the food options and intestinal consequences of each. “I could totally go for a BLT.”

“Yeah.” He slapped his laptop closed and scooted back from the desk. “Me too. Quick and easy. That’s perfect.”

I kept myself from laughing at that assumption. I definitely wasn’t going to make our lunch quick or easy. “Let’s go.”

“Brigham Young, huh?” I tossed a chip into my mouth and considered that while I chewed and swallowed. “So, you’re Mormon?”

“Guilty.” Frederick wiped his mouth and put his napkin back over his lap. “And was. Now I’m not really anything. Like, literally.” He sighed and looked down at the half sandwich he had left.

I nudged his foot with mine under the table. “What does that mean?”

He shrugged and glanced up but then immediately averted his gaze, looking over my shoulder as if he didn’t want me to see whatever was happening behind his eyes. “Just that I’m kinda… neutral.” He laughed. “And not in the good way, as if there is one.”

I hated the insecurity I could feel radiating off him in waves. “I think whatever you call yourself, is definitely in the good way.” I paused long enough for him to look over at me. “And I promise there is one.”

Frederick just stared at me for a moment and then nodded to shake it off. “Anyway, what about you? Salt Lake City, huh? It’s a good school, and I bet you had a very different college experience than I did.” He grabbed his sandwich and took another bite as he leaned back in his chair.

“Yeah, it was probably very different.” I considered whether it was too early to share my whole life story with him. But it wasn’t a secret, and I was all about shock value, so I decided to just go for it. It was better to lay all my cards on the table and not feel like I’d kept anything from my new boss. “Actually, I had a lot of fun. I started a chapter of the Lactin Brotherhood on campus. There were just a few of us in it at first, but word spread quickly, and it didn’t take long for me to have a slew of admirers who were willing to help me study, bring me dinner, or stand in line for tickets to football games or concerts or whatever in exchange for some milk time.” I smiled as I thought back on those times. “It really was the best four years of my life. But I guess part of it was just the novelty of my gift. In the end, I walked away with a handful of friends, an engineering degree…” I waved my hand toward him. “And a great new boss who I plan to impress the hell out of.”

Frederick’s cheeks glowed pink as he slowly lowered his gaze to the plate in front of him. “I’ve heard of the Lactin Brotherhood before, but…what is it?”

This should be interesting. I reached for my Coke and took a drink before leaning forward and waiting for his eyes to connect with mine. “It’s an organization for men who lactate. As one of them, I was a favorite among the kinky sort on campus and those who liked a little bit of milk before bed, if you know what I mean.” I waggled my eyebrows dramatically and leaned back in my chair.

“Oh, I see. That’s cool.” It was no surprise that Frederick wasn’t familiar with my condition, but on the other hand, I’d spent a lot of time with both ex- and active Mormons and they were some of the kinkiest people on campus. I just didn’t know where Fredrick fell on that spectrum.

The poor guy looked like he was about to pass out, so I decided to give him a break. Sorta. “I don’t see a ring on your finger, Frederick. Are you married?”

He looked down at his hands and then over to mine. “No. Not at all. Like I said, neutral. I haven’t really thought about relationships or dating or anything.”

The man had to be pushing thirty. What the hell did he mean by neutral, anyway? “Like, since you started working at Floom or ever?”

He crossed his arms over his chest and curled around himself a bit. “Ever, I guess. I just like to work, and I recognize when people are attractive.” He glanced at me and his eyes studied my face and then peeked down to my chest before coming back up again. “People like you. But I guess I’ve never really known what to do with that information. So, I just kinda ignored it. But… I think some of that might be changing for me.”

I had the strongest urge to pull him into my arms and just hold him, tell him that whatever he was feeling was okay and that he didn’t have to be ashamed or confused anymore. I could help him through whatever he was experiencing.

But I couldn’t do any of that.

I was his employee, and I’d only known the man for a few hours. No matter what my instincts told me to do, I needed to take my cues from Frederick. He would show me what he needed, even if he didn’t have the words for it at first. And if there was some way I could be there for him beyond the office, I was just curious enough to want to try that too.

I’d never met anybody I wanted to know on a deeper level either. All my relationships had been fuck buddies but never anything truly intimate. It was all just for fun. A good time whether it was once or on the regular. But I’d always wanted to keep my options open. That’s what college was about. Trying everything and seeing what stuck. Nothing had stuck, and that was okay with me. I guess I knew that once I graduated and started working, I’d be in a better place to look for something more serious.

I had no idea the first man I met and felt not only attracted to but also a true desire for would be my new boss.

“Well, I’ve done it all, seen it all, and I’m generally open to anything. If you ever have any questions or just want to talk, you know where to find me.” Then I winked. For the second time today, I winked at my manager. I was so getting fired. But maybe that would be a good thing. Then I wouldn’t have any guilt about my thoughts for Frederick. I glanced at my watch. “If you’re done, we should probably get back to work. Sounds like you’ve got some pretty important projects I can help you with.”

Frederick’s lips were separated and his tongue poked out. His eyes were glassy as he stared at me and then cleared his throat. “I’m gonna run to the restroom real quick and then we can go.”

He hopped up and bee-lined for the bathroom.

Fuck. Did I go too far? He obviously needed to take things slow, and I was a million-miles-a-minute kind of guy. Whether it was my work, my studies, or my interactions with others, I didn’t like to waste time.

But Frederick was different. He was innocent in a way I’d never known a grown man to be. And he was sweet and na?ve and fucking beautiful. I had to take my cues from him, figure out how to be what he needed—even if he didn’t know what that was.

It would be hard because he was practically begging me to make the next move. I just prayed the submissive vibes that I was getting were not only accurate but also proved to be Little, because, fuck, what I wouldn’t do to make him my baby boy.

I truly believed I could be the Daddy Frederick didn’t know he needed.