Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Summer

S ummer.

The warmest season and the name my parents had given me at birth, no doubt an attempt to defrost their relationship, which had frozen over into an ice age of hate.

It hadn't worked. My parents had split a few years later with my dad promptly jumping into a new relationship.

I missed him, but Dad was happy with his new family and I was very much an outsider in his life.

I even missed my mum. Despite living in the same house, we barely spent any time with each other, not since I'd started high school.

It was assumed that because I was a ‘big girl', I could do everything for myself, and while that trust and take on life helped me learn skills my peers could have only dreamed of having, most of them had something I could only long for. I'd have done anything for some quality time with my parents––anything to feel their love like the sun shining on my skin.

But I was a big girl, and I had to pull up my big girl pants because I knew that starting sixth form was going to be no different.

I'd be surviving instead of thriving.

I'd pretend I had it all even though I had nothing I truly cared about.

I'd act like I was the best, but I couldn't have felt worse if I'd tried.

Having Alfie walk away all nonchalant after I could practically see the drool seeping from the corner of his mouth as his eyes constantly darted to my chest proved I'd be spending my time at sixth form in the exact same way as high school––pining over men who gave me just a glimmer of sunlight in hopes that it would turn into something more. It never did, and as I stood on the cross-trainer, catching flies with my mouth open, I realised that Alfie Wilson was going to be no exception.

I channelled the sense of insecurity Alfie had left me with and turned it into determination, focusing on the one thing I could control––the one thing all men were hard pressed to resist. My body.

After half an hour too long in the gym, I finally gave in and freshened up in the gym locker rooms. I used the shower there more than at home, because really, there was no reason to be at home. Mum worked two jobs and slept in between her shifts, so I routinely used the gym to avoid tiptoeing around my own home and feeling like I was going to wake her up. The beauty of starting back at sixth form after nearly eight weeks out? I'd be back out of the house and out of her way.

"I'm home," I said, tormenting myself and not expecting a response.

"Summer?" To my surprise, I heard my mum's voice echo from the high ceilings of our home. "You're back. How was the gym?"

"Yeah, it was good," I said as I hobbled in, my legs aching from the workout. Everything hurt but that was okay.

No pain no gain.

That was what all the PT's and motivational gym quotes said. They even had the phrase in bright pink neon lighting across one of the walls in the gym.

"That's good. Look, love, I'm having to nip into work earlier than planned but I've not had a chance to go shopping. If I give you some money will you go grab yourself tea? Oh, and your lunch for your first day tomorrow?" Without any hesitation or a response from me, her purse was open, money was placed into my hand and she was halfway out the door as she said, "I'll make it up to you. I'll pick you up from Sandford after you finish tomorrow. Good luck!"

The door slammed shut.

"Thank you," I whispered.

With my lunch packed up in my handbag and the most vibrant pink lip gloss on my lips, I took on the twenty-five minute walk to Sandford. I made sure to walk as slowly as possible so the mild summer breeze didn't blow out my curls or lift my pristine white cotton dress. The Sandford gates came into view and students started to gather in packs outside. Two or three cocky students, in year nine if I had to guess, wolf whistled and hurled what some would have considered crude comments about what they wanted to do to me.

"You'd have to find that little tool of yours first, honey buns," I said confidently as the biggest grin took over my face. I took in a deep breath, their words like fuel igniting the fire in my stomach. I came alive at Sandford. I was practically a different person there: a harder, more resilient version of myself because I had to be.

I clocked Alfie with a gang of his mates just outside the metal gates. I lifted my head high, pushed my chest out and smiled, looking right through him.

Tits and teeth.

I had to play hard to get with Alfie, and I was playing the long game. For as long as I remembered, I'd always flirted with him and always wanted more, but whenever it seemed I was getting somewhere, there was always someone else on the scene. And I was nobody's sloppy seconds.

Alfie's hand reached out and pulled me sideways, sending me rushing into his chest. For a second, I couldn't hear or see anything. All I could feel was him and his heart pounding against my hand.

"I saw this sexy thing at the gym yesterday. Couldn't ask for a better date for my party on Friday. You should have seen her arse in those leggings she was wearing. So fit."

Date? I wasn't one to complain, but I had no idea how we'd gone from a casual conversation in the gym to being told I was going to be his date on Friday. It was typical Alfie, and I knew I had to play along with him and his games. He had to think I was wrapped around his little finger, especially in front of his mates, and I knew exactly how to play.

"Shame the gym was the only thing getting me hot and sweaty. Play your cards right, Wilson, and who knows?"