Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Landon

Listen to I Don’t Care

by Fallout Boy

I walked into the Rooftop holding Max’s hand tight. We weaved through the packed crowds, falling into our comfort zone from the loud music, flashing lights, and endless cocktails. This was our world and we thrived like a power couple. I’d taken a few shots of us to post on my feeds, showing off my newest designer dress, a slinky red number that barely covered my ass and made Max drool. My Louboutin’s had a toothpick sky-high heel and criss cross leather straps in silver. I left my hair loose even though it was muggy, and wrapped my arms and neck in various silver glittery chains. Max wore chinos, a pink button down open at the neck, and loafers. He looked cool, trendy, and confident as he tucked me against him to lead the way. I leaned into him, feeling the stares on us and loving every moment.

I needed to forget about stuff tonight. The reality show hadn’t called me back yet which was driving me mad, and the phone call with my mom had tipped me toward the bad mood category. Plus, working with Gabriella and knowing she was showing up with Adam?

Yeah, I was going to blow off some steam before I imploded.

We met up with Daisy and Elle who gave me hugs. Elle rocked a clingy bodycon dress in leopard with black boots, and Daisy amped up her cute vibe with a polka dot skirt and white satin halter top. “Coop and Noah are getting pickle shots,” Elle yelled. “Let’s go to the rail, there was room there.”

We pushed in and scored a small high table that overlooked the dance floor. The Rooftop was three stories with different music on each level. We usually started at the bottom and made our way up to the open-air roof that overlooked the city skyline. The guys came back with the shots and dispersed them.

“Where’s Adam?” Daisy asked.

“On his way,” Max said. “Let’s get a head start. The dude’s a beast.”

Coop laughed, his curly russet hair flopping over his brow. His muscles strained against his black shirt. He was a gym rat like Max, and looked good next to Elle. “Yeah, how is he always the last one standing? He’s like an alcohol superhero.”

I frowned. “Probably fills his shots with water so he can lord it over you.”

Max shook his head, not responding. At first, I thought he’d take my side as his girlfriend but I learned early he refused to pick one of us over the other. I hated it, but the moment we began trading barbs, he left.

Noah and Coop laughed, and we all drank.

“He’s coming with Gabriella,” I announced, glad the liquor worked fast. “Probably to torture me. What a dick.”

“His dick is as famous as his tolerance,” Coop quipped.

“What are you talking about?” Daisy asked.

The guys shared a look. “Never mind,” Max said.

“Oh, hell, no, you’re telling us now,” Elle said.

Max groaned. Noah finally spoke up. “Adam is known for his big dick energy.” A grin curved his lips. “He’s built like a motherfucker.”

Daisy and Elle groaned. “Ugh, TMI,” Elle said, but she was giggling.

I felt the threat of a flush, but fought it back. The memory of what I’d seen taunted me. Oh, how I despised that I’d seen it was a fact. “Another rumor started by him,” I stated.

“Nope, we saw it. He’s a monster. Probably why he’s still the only one single. He likes to gift everyone,” Coop said, laughing hysterically.

Daisy stared at Noah. “Do you actually compare your sizes?” she asked with wide eyes.

Noah shrugged. “Sure. Don’t you do that with your tits? When you all go to the bathroom together?”

My jaw fell open. “No! Are you nuts?”

The girls shrieked at the thought. I reached out and cupped Elle’s breasts, squeezing. “A generous B, baby,” I said with a wink, making everyone laugh harder. “Big tit energy.”

“Hell, what did I miss out on?” Adam’s voice boomed in my ear and I turned. He was grinning but his gaze slammed into mine and grew immediately cold. That usual prickle chased down my spine, which I’d noted as disgust. It was odd because I’d never instinctually disliked someone this intensely before. Oh sure, when I heard what he said about me, he was on my shit list. But before I’d focused on Max? Adam caught me with such an intense stare, it made me uncomfortable.;

Like he saw things no one else did.

Like he knew my secrets.

Max was so much easier to deal with, from his light hearted personality, charm, and open affection. I knew exactly what I’d get with Max and I’d been right, He was safe, even though I knew he was a bit of a player.

I’d never be able to control Adam. He’d challenge me at every turn. Push me to edgy limits. I’d sensed it in my gut, and maybe for a few awful, terrifying seconds, I saw the other road, if I changed my target and let Adam buy me a drink.

My mind screamed hell no and I stuck up my nose like he was beneath me and went all in with Max.

Sometimes, when Adam looked at me like he’d stripped me bare and seen my truth, I was reminded that he’d also let me run. If he’d been intent on pursuit, I’m not sure if I could have handled it.

But that was a long time ago. Now, we were enemies, and understood each other perfectly. There was no reason his cold stare should throw me off.

“Nothing,” I said immediately, yanking my gaze away. I wrapped my arms around Max’s waist for comfort.

“Dicks and tits, buddy,” Max said cheerfully, tilting his beer to his lips.

“I knew this group wasn’t boring,” Gabriella said, appearing behind Adam. She was dressed in a black leather corset with a blazer, and leather pants. She looked hot, but I told myself leather in the summer was overdone and out of date. “How was everyone’s shift?”

Elle looked at me for permission, but I gave her a small shake of the head. An uneasy silence came over us. Adam looked at me in disgust. “Really, Landon? You playing mean girl again? This is Gabriella, everyone. She’s with me, so try and be nice to her.”

Everyone obediently greeted her except me and Elle. I hated the way Gabriella had gone for Adam so she could be around us. Then again, knowing Adam, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d pursued her just to annoy me. He’d be happy to break Max and I up.

Thankfully, Max kept his hello polite and eased back near Coop and Elle. I relaxed.

“I’ll buy next round,” Adam said.

“Then let’s party,” Coop shouted, as if sensing the mood had dipped with the unspoken tension.

I reached up, bringing Max’s head down for a long, sexy kiss. “Gonna dance with the girls. Come find me,” I whispered against his lips.

His blue eyes turned hot. I rubbed his hip suggestively. “I will. Maybe we’ll visit the restroom.”

I laughed, spinning away. “You wish. That’s Coop’s move.”

“Landon!” Elle screamed, overhearing us. “We didn’t!”

I laughed, and spun around, bumping into Adam’s chest. “You really are a bitch. You peed on him to mark your territory,” he taunted in a low voice.

The lights flashed and the music pumped and the alcohol heated my blood. “Don’t be jealous,” I whispered back, making sure no one heard me. “Maybe one day you’ll find someone who can stand you and your ego for more than one night.”

“Take a picture, princess.”

“Write a song, asshole.”

Our gazes collided and my breath strangled in my lungs. Respect flashed in those seething dark eyes, and then was gone.

Just a trick of the light.

I grabbed Elle and Daisy and led them to the dance floor, turning my back on both Adam and Gabriella.

We danced until sweat slicked our skin and our bodies ached. We drank until the magic fire of I-Don’t-Give-A-Fuck streamed in our blood and loosened inhibitions and the monsters in the closet. Max and I made out on the dance floor, our bodies fitting together, the new resolve I’d made to go in with him full-force smoothing out any rough edges of doubt. We did body shots off each other’s tight abs and partied hard into the night. Gabriella and Adam danced together, but I didn’t catch any physical heat between them, no kissing or touching other than an occasional ass or hip grind.

Max kept out of her orbit and Gabriella seemed to let him be, content to try and catch Adam within her web. I wished her luck since he was really the tarantula.

The room got fuzzy so I guzzled some water and headed to the bathroom. When I stumbled out, I saw Gabriella taking pics with the group and anger rushed through my veins. Why was she posting with my friends? And why were they letting her? Daisy and Elle were laughing at what she was saying, and a strange fear hit me full force. I needed them. What if Gabriella waltzed in and blew everything up? Tried to infiltrate the group by using Adam and took over as the leader? I stared at my crew, my own makeshift family, suddenly feeling completely separate and alone.

The memories of my mom slammed into my vision, reminding me I may have the same awful genetics. The cycle of rage and tears, over and over, with only alcohol smoothing out the mess. The tendency for self-pity and blaming everyone else for her own mistakes. Tipsy, off-center, I tried to shake it off and backed myself into a dark corner by one of the staff closets.

No. I was getting paranoid. I wouldn’t let my mother get in my head.

I wouldn’t marry someone like my father and give him everything I was, leaving nothing for myself.

I was better than that.

I fumbled with my purse and dug out my phone. I’d take some pics and post. My fans loved seeing me with Max, showing the cool places we hung out, our clothes, and our lifestyle. Gabriella was trying to steal what I had and I wouldn’t let her.

My notifications buzzed madly and I blinked, trying to scan through the screen.

Then froze.

No.

This wasn’t happening.

I clicked on the Buzzfeed post with shaky fingers and read the headline.

Cast for The Room finalized! Meet Your New Roommates!

It was the reality show I’d tried out for. I’d been obsessively checking messages, sure I was going to get cast. I had nailed the auditions and seen the looks on the casting directors faces. I’d made an impression. I’d counted on the role to change my life, felt the sureness in my bones that this was my lucky break.

But I’d lost. There hadn’t even been a phone call telling me the news. I’d found out with the rest of the world.

I stared at a picture-perfect blonde who looked like me. Thick, wavy hair. Blue eyes. A cute perky face and a petite curvy body. She was a fitness trainer in NY with a bachelor’s degree in science, focusing on nutrition. Dressed in yoga pants and a stretchy top, her smile was megawatt, showing white teeth and flexing her arm to display her bicep muscles.

She was me, but not. They hadn’t needed me because I’d given them nothing special.

Because the truth was, maybe I wasn’t.

The doubts I always fought off hit hard. My legs weakened and I leaned against the wall, squeezing my eyes shut. Usually, I’d flee to my girlfriends or Max, craving comfort and platitudes, until I dusted myself off and tried again. I believed in myself. Believed I’d make my mark in this world.

But right now? Not so much. Was I really special or just kidding myself? Had I reached my pinnacle, like those who peak in high school and fail the rest of their lives? Was I simply an imposter of my own imagination?

Suddenly, my lungs seized and I leaned forward, hands on my knees. The room tilted. I was going to throw up. I was having a panic attack. I was going to faint.

Strong hands grabbed my arms, steadying me.

“Breathe.”

The masculine demand refused to be disobeyed. Listening automatically to that deep, commanding voice, I gulped for air.

“Into your nose, out your mouth. Slow. Breathe, Landon. Now.”

I did. My mind shut off my panicked thoughts, and I focused on air, in and out. Slowly, my muscles relaxed and I was back to normal.

“You can let go of me now.” Adam ignored my request, so I tilted my head up. “See? I’m okay.”

“You sure? Want some water?”

I shook my head. His grip loosened, but he didn’t step back. Crowding my personal space, I couldn’t help but look him in the eye with pure resentment. I hated that he’d seen me at a weak moment. I had to get him out of here. “I’m fine. Just too much alcohol.”

I waited him to leave but he stayed, those dark eyes raking over my face.

And, suddenly, my breath stopped for an entirely different reason.

My name spilled from his mouth, washed in gravel and silk.

“Landon?”