Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Landon

Listen to Flames

by R2HAB Zayne and Jungleboi

M ax came home hours later.

Elle had rushed out after right me, followed by Daisy, and they had my back. Ditching the bar and the guys, we ended up at our favorite diner where I cried over bad coffee and dumped out my issues with Max. They were super supportive, even though they couldn’t trash their own boyfriends, and any talk of me breaking up made them freak out because it would ruin the group’s dynamics. Though I believed if I was serious about leaving Max, we’d work it out. After all, our friendship was strong. It wouldn’t crumble over a few bumps with our partners.

“Why does Adam have to be such a dick?” I complained, sniffling. “I swear, he loves when Max and I fight and tries to encourage it. And I know he pushes women on him when they go away. I wish he’d disappear to Nashville or LA. We’d all be better without him.”

Daisy murmured in sympathy. “I think he’s been grumpy lately because of his music. He probably took it out on you, which isn’t cool.”

“Forget him,” Elle said. “What you need to think about is your own relationship. I think you’re both overdue for a talk. It’s time to tell Max to step it up if he wants to keep you.”

“I know! But look at the evidence. He didn’t come after me or try to call. I begged him not to flirt with Gabriella and caught him red handed! He’s probably still drinking and having fun, figuring he’ll deal with me later.”

A frown creased Elle’s brow. “Bad move. I’m not sure what Gabriella’s deal is. She seems nice, and most everyone loves her at Red. Maybe she’s just super friendly and comes off flirty?”

I glowered. “Trust me, she’s a snake. And I’m not working with her. I’ll tell Rock myself I will quit before I give her a dime of my money. I think you should do the same, or next she’ll be pushed into your section. The newbies have no rights.”

I know Elle hated conflict but I needed her to stand up with me against Gabriella. That’s what best friends were for. She looked uncomfortable but nodded. “Sure. But listen, babe, I honestly think Max loves you and isn’t interested in Gabriella. He’s screwing up—I see the way he looks at you. If you tell him you’re done with second and third chances, he may finally get it.”

An ache throbbed in my chest. “What about the cheating? Do you believe there’s a video?”

Daisy shook her head. “No way he cheated. I’ve never seen proof—it’s a bunch of rumors from guys who like to talk about how big their junk is.”

I gave a half laugh. “Maybe. Ugh, I don’t want to be stupid! I don’t want to be settled down with a cheater.”

Elle fiddled with her fork, poking it around the fruit cup she’d ordered. “Is that all of it, Landon? Or is there something else holding you back from being with Max?”

I jerked back, surprised. “Cheating is a pretty big issue to deal with.”

“I know. But even before the Jersey scandal, you seemed to have doubts. If you were guaranteed he never cheated or would, would you want to be with him long-term?”

I was thrown off by the question and the serious glint in Elle’s dark eyes. Daisy tilted her head and seemed just as interested in my answer. The hot words of denial formed on my lips, ready to fire. Yes, I was serious about Max. I could picture him as my husband, building a fabulous life together filled with passion and travel and glamour. Conquering the city hand in hand. He was the type I’d always dreamed of marrying because he fit my lifestyle, would always cater to my needs, and wasn’t afraid to tell me his feelings.

Yet…

I paused, my mind flashing to the scene that continually haunted me, mostly at night.

We’d all been partying at one of Max’s friends’ houses—a ritzy townhouse on the upper east side. I’d been looking for the bathroom upstairs, wanting some privacy, when I heard noises coming down the hall. Of course, I should have kept walking. I knew someone was having sex, but feeling giddy and tipsy, I’d quietly snuck to the room and peeked through the half-closed door.

Then froze.

Adam had some woman pinned against the wall. His hand fisted tight in her hair, holding her neck at a vulnerable angle while he dragged his teeth across her collarbone. Her dress was bunched above her thighs. His knee pinned her legs open, and his fingers were buried inside her. She moaned and begged, her hips writhing as he worked her, pumping in and out with a ferocity that bordered on violence.

“How bad do you want it?” he taunted, his voice like rough gravel. “You like my fingers in your hot little pussy?”

“Yes,” she moaned. “Please…”

“Gotta do better than that. Beg me. Beg me to fuck you and make you come like you need.”

She practically sobbed, arching up, caught in chasing her orgasm. My entire body throbbed and I was instantly drenched. I pressed my hand against my mouth to keep quiet, unable to break my gaze from the erotic scene.

“Show me what a good girl you can be.”

Then he removed his fingers, shoved down his pants, and threw her to her knees.

Without missing a beat, he guided her head to his cock. “Suck.”

And oh, God, she did. She went at him like she was dying for a taste. His fingers dug into her scalp and moved her exactly the way he wanted, and I was caught between outrage, shame, and an awful wicked desire to be the one in her place.

I had to get out of here.

His face tight, he urged her on with dirty words and I sensed he was close.

I had to get out of here.

Beginning to ease back, suddenly, Adam’s head swung around.

I gasped against my palm. His dark eyes were both wild and completely in control as he stared back at me for long seconds, holding my gaze.

His lips tilted in a smug smile.

Then he came.

Spinning around, I raced back down the hall, frantic to get away from him and the scene I’d witnessed. Shamed at my own hunger for his depraved actions. I ran from my demons and the knowing look on his face I despised and flung myself right back into Max’s arms.

And swore I’d never, ever think of it again.

Adam never mentioned it. A part of me wondered if it was just a dream or a fantasy I’d spun while I was drunk. He never taunted me or even hinted he’d seen me that night.

But I knew it had happened. I knew that too many nights passed where I woke up among the twisted, damp sheets, my body burning, and wanted to weep in desperation.

Because Max could never give me that.

Re-focusing on my friends and how they waited for my answer, I knew I could never tell them the truth. It was too complicated to figure out, and telling them about the intimate scene with Adam? I’d D.I.E.

“Yes,” I finally said. “I do see a future with Max if I can be sure he’s trustworthy.”

They nodded, obviously relieved. “He loves you,” Elle said again, squeezing my hand. “You both need to sleep off the alcohol and actually talk it out. Tell him how you feel without yelling. Guys shut down if you lose your temper.”

I snorted. “Is that what you do when Coop fucks up?”

“No, I yell but it’s still good advice.”

We all laughed and I felt better. There was nothing like being around girlfriends who understood the dynamics of your relationship. I gave them both a big hug. “Thanks. Love you.”

“Love you,” they both sang back, squishing tight against me in the booth.

After, I headed home and to bed. Max didn’t stumble through the door until 6am, obviously hung over and regretful. He sat on the edge of the mattress while I regarded him with banked anger and pain. There was nothing I hated more than feeling out of control with my emotions, or played by someone I loved.

God knows, that had happened to me before and I swore I’d never deal with the feelings again.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” he said, voice strained from the club. “I fucked up. I shouldn’t have hung with her.”

I sat up in bed and leaned against the headboard. Even disheveled and drunk, Max gave off an air of confidence, as if he believed we could work out anything. Thick blonde hair was mussed, his button-down shirt was wrinkled, but he still looked sexy enough to want to tumble. He wasn’t above pleading or begging forgiveness. Once, we’d had a big fight and for a week, he brought me flowers and gifts every day, showering me with love and affection and apologies, until I truly believed things would be different. He was a master of the game but I didn’t know how much more I could take.

“Why do you keep doing this?” I finally asked, hugging my body tight. “Every time we’re in a good place, you do something that makes me question us all over again.”

“Baby, what was I supposed to do? Gabby came up to me at the bar, asking about work, talking about her new puppy. Am I supposed to throw up my hands, back away, and say Landon won’t let me talk to you?”

I blew out a breath. “No! Just be respectful to my feelings. You could’ve said hello, and that you needed to get back to your girlfriend. You bought her a drink, Max.”

He rubbed his head. “Yeah, I know. I’d ordered shots for me and Adam and it seemed rude not to offer. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Your hand was on her body. Your face was practically smashed into her tits while you pretended to look at her phone. I saw you.”

His voice was full of denial. “It was nothing like that. Don’t twist things around.”

“Did you cheat on me at the Jersey shore?”

He jerked back, then his blue eyes snapped with heat. “Fuck, this again? How many times do I need to tell you no? I passed out drunk and woke up on the floor. Alone.”

My insides felt torn up. “What about before? At the bar? Is there a video? Did you make out with her?”

“No.” I searched his gaze for the truth. He tilted his head up and held my stare, as if trying to prove he wasn’t afraid for me to look deep. And damned if he didn’t look innocent.

But my gut still screamed he was a liar.

What was I going to do? I couldn’t prove anything. But if I sensed something off, I couldn’t trust him, and we had nothing left to fight for.

“Why do you keep torturing both of us?” he asked. “You need to let it go, Landon. Right now, you’re the one creating the problem between us. I love you, and I’m not cheating. I’m getting tired of defending myself when I did nothing wrong.”

His words hurt. I felt as if I should be deliriously happy in this relationship but I was still holding back. Something had to change, and it was up to me, because Max kept doing the same things over and over.

He flirted with women at the bar all the time. I doubted it would stop.

He ignored my pleas to be distant with Gabriella.

He looked me in the eye and swore the truth, but I still didn’t believe him.

“You’re right.” He froze, staring at me in surprise at my words. “I can’t do this anymore, Max.”

“Baby—”

I shook my head hard. Frustrated tears burned my eyes. “I’ve made a decision. About us.”

Then I took a deep breath and told him.