Chapter 36

Chapter Thirty-Six

Adam

Listen to Let’s Hurt Tonight

by One Republic

N othing would ever be the same again.

The tiny part of me that had wished I’d fuck Landon out of my system in one night now laughed his ass off. It was the worst thing I could imagine. My dick was semi hard and I’d just had the most intense orgasm I’d ever experienced. Already, I craved her again; the spice of her essence against my tongue; the cries of my name on her lips; the sting of her nails in my shoulders. One taste and I was doomed to crave her for the rest of my fucked-up life.

The worst thing?

I didn’t care anymore. I’d blow up my friendship with Max and the others. I’d risk whatever I had to keep her in my bed; keep her addicted to my touch until she didn’t care either. The road ahead for us led to a tangle of pain, but I’d convince her the pleasure was worth it. God knows, I hadn’t experienced much in my life that made me feel this good.

Didn’t I deserve it? Hadn’t I barreled through endless obstacles in my past to get to this point?

Max had his chance. He’d chosen others over Landon.

Now it was my turn.

Her ragged breathing had calmed. I wrapped my arms around her stomach and slung one thigh over her leg, chaining her against me. I savored her skin, still damp from sweat. Buried my nose in her tangled hair that smelled of rosemary mint. I lay quietly, allowing us both to sit with our thoughts. I’d lowered the shield around my heart while she gave me her body and vulnerability, but now that defense crept back up. I waited for Landon to spill out a rush of regrets, looking for escape now that her body was sated. I prepared for her speech—knowing she only wanted to fuck me to get back at Max. Still, her body never lied. She’d given herself fully, and I intended to use her yearning for pleasure and pain to keep her with me. To keep her coming back for more, even if I was only her dirty secret.

I refused to allow Landon to hide. Not anymore.

My thoughts twisted like a writhing snake pit but I waited for her to speak.

“When I was sixteen, Mom threw me a party to celebrate. She said it would be an event that no one would ever forget, and she was right. She booked a cruise and allowed me to invite anyone I wanted. It was out of a fairy tale—I had two hundred guests who all came to celebrate me. We sailed out from Chelsea Piers at sunset. I wore a designer dress and tiara that made me look like royalty. My friends and I got drunk on champagne because nobody cared. I had a three-tiered cake and so many presents, we needed to hire a van to take them all home with us. It was perfect, just like Mom promised. And people talked about it forever, saying it was a sweet sixteen to rival any other.”

My lips coasted over the shell of her ear and I felt her shiver. “Sounds like it was everything you dreamed of. “

“It was. Except my dad had promised to be there. See, Mom didn’t know, but I’d called him. I broke my vow never to ask him for anything because I thought if he came to that one party, it would mean he loved me. Even if he stayed away most of the time and had another family. I had it in my head that it was proof, and if I got that proof, I’d be okay with anything else that happened between us. Dumb, right?”

“No. Not to a sixteen-year-old who missed her dad.”

Landon continued. “I was so happy when he said yes. He said he’d show up to celebrate with me. Every detail I planned with my mom had my dad in mind. I thought he’d be impressed with how perfect it all was. I thought he’d be proud to see me with so many friends, in a beautiful dress. So, I waited at the dock. I greeted every person who boarded, sick to my stomach with nerves, and when we were ready to pull away, I begged them to wait a little longer. I figured he was running late with traffic. Mom couldn’t understand who I wanted to hold up my party for, so I finally told her.”

I remained silent, sensing she’d never told anyone this story and that she needed a witness. I tightened my grip and pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek. “What happened?”

“Mom laughed and said he’d already called her. Said he was furious with the amount of money she spent—his money. My dad informed her he’d never condone that type of cheap display of wealth and that I was spoiled. That we deserved each other.”

I stroked back her hair so she knew I was listening. She continued speaking without a quiver in her voice. “I went back to the party. I did everything I was expected but it was as if I was looking at myself from a distance the whole evening. It was truly beautiful, too. And Dad was right. I was spoiled. I began to embrace my entitlement after that. I took what I wanted, from who I wanted, as much as I wanted. Why not? It was what he left me.”

My chest tightened. I would have done the same—my fuck you to my dad was to embrace the very thing he despised—my music. I bore the scars of my rebellion but didn’t regret a second. Landon had walked the same path in a different way, and found a way to make peace with it, on her terms.

“When my stepsister turned sixteen, she posted pictures on Facebook of her family in her backyard with a birthday cake. There were sixteen candles. Dad had his arm around her and was smiling really wide into the camera. She captioned it: best sweet sixteen ever ! She wore jeans and a t-shirt and there were four presents in the background. I know there were four because I counted. They all looked really happy.”

Something broke inside of me and cracked open. She made me want to show her my own demons without apology and soothe some of her pain. Instead, I buried my head into her neck and sunk my teeth into the sensitive flesh, tying her back to this moment with me, safe in my arms. She gave a little jerk, then softened against me.

“Fuck ‘em. That’s where you got your strength. Don’t ever wish for it to be any different.”

I absorbed her shudder, then scented her arousal, as if my very words had ripped her open, laying her bare to me. My hand slid upward to her begging, tight nipples. Yes. My Landon embraced pain in both the physical and emotional, turning it to pleasure. God, she was perfect.

And she was mine.

I tweaked her nipple with my thumb, then carefully pinched. She gasped, but leaned into me rather than trying to pull away.

Her ragged whisper drifted up to my ears. “Why is it like this with us? Why does something so wrong feel so right?”

Shock vibrated through my muscles and I stiffened. I’d allowed her to hide while she shared her story. Secrets and confessions were so much better told in the shadows. But instinct told me to force her to own everything she was now. I wouldn’t allow her to deny anything about us.

I’d made peace with my darkness a while ago. Landon was new in my world, but I’d be her guide, her teacher, her undoing. I’d show her all the secret doors she’d been missing by being afraid of opening them, and more pleasure than she could handle.

I didn’t want to say all of that now. It wasn’t time yet. We were just beginning.

I rolled over and pinned her to the bed. Her cobalt blue eyes glowed with a deep satisfaction, like a cat purring after a full bowl of cream. Her thighs automatically parted and I felt the wet tracks of her arousal; the stiffness of her nipples scraped against my chest. Oh, yeah, she was meant for all the nasty things I wanted to do to her. She held my gaze as I answered.

“Because we’re both broken, Landon. We need something more than most in order to feel whole.”

She sucked in her breath, obviously not liking my response. A spark of rebellion simmered and I knew she’d fight me every step of the way. Landon would never be submissive in any part of her life except when she was naked. In my bed.

Exactly the way I liked it.

“Not me,” she snapped back.

“Especially you. You’ve just denied it longer. I’m going to show you how good broken feels.”

Stubborn denial coated her words. “I just like me some kinky sex.”

A low laugh escaped me. I rubbed my thumb over her lips, parting them roughly, and she opened her mouth to suck hard the same time her gaze called me an asshole.

I fucking loved it.

“Then I better do my job. Let’s put that mouth to something more useful than your inane chatter, shall we?”

She turned her head to avoid my thumb, so I used my mouth instead, my tongue thrusting in deep, dominating strokes. She tried to wriggle away but I knew the game, so I pinned her wrists and shoved her legs wider apart while my cock rubbed her clit back and forth until she moaned and arched up for more.

“I hate you,” she moaned.

I smiled as I looked her dead in the eye, then shoved my cock deep inside her pulsing

pussy, holding it there while she caught her breath and struggled to accept the invasion.

“Back atcha, princess.”

Then I fucked her over and over until she screamed my name and came hard, milking my cock while she clung to me like I was her God.

And I swore I would be.

Her God. Her everything.

No matter what the cost.