Chapter 31

Chapter Thirty-One

Landon

Listen to How do I Make you Love me

by The Weeknd

B y the time the men had finished their meals and drinks, they were practically purring from my attention and obvious admiration. If there was one thing I did well, it was catering to men’s egos. They paid their check, leaving me the biggest tip of the night, and slid over a business card with a cell phone number scrawled on the back.

“We’re heading to Core,” the leader said casually. “We’d love for you to join us later. Feel free to bring a girlfriend.”

Core was an exclusive club that catered to the wealthy. With a 50K buy in, and a 15K annual fee, let’s just say I hadn’t visited yet. I arched a brow and looked obviously impressed. “I’m overwhelmed! I’d love to come—I don’t get off till later though.”

The men shared a smug glance. I wondered what they thought I’d do for an invite, rolling my eyes inwardly. I wasn’t that na?ve to think they simply wanted my company. It had happened many times before where assholes believed waitresses were another form of escorts if the price or club was good enough. But Max was staring and I loved the idea of them waiting for me to show up and getting dissed.

“We can wait,” he said easily. “Feel free to text when you’re on the way. We’ll meet you at the door.”

I gushed with enthusiasm and waved as they left.

When I got to the bar, Max was waiting. His face was flushed red in a rare temper I only glimpsed when he thought he was being ignored or if I seemed truly interested in someone else.

“What did those guys want?” he demanded. “You were talking with them a while.”

I frowned in warning. “Invited me to Core later tonight.”

Desperation leaked from his voice. “Landon, don’t do this. I know they asked you out, and you want to piss me off, but please don’t go. They’re scum. They were looking at you like you were their property.”

I ignored him and turned to Randy. “Tito’s and soda with lime, please,” I said.

“You got it.”

Max blocked his passage. “Randy—I got this for her. Give us a minute, okay, dude?”

Randy shot me a look but sensed the ratcheting tension from Max. He nodded. “Sure.”

I lowered my voice to a hiss. “Don’t start your shit. Stay away from me. I’m dealing with Randy tonight and who I go see after my shift is none of your damn business.”

His eyes pleaded with me as he made my drink. “Landon, I know you’re pissed, but going with those guys won’t fix anything. I promise I’ll give you space, but I won’t let you get hurt. If you go, I’m following you, even if I have to get off early.”

Max always got pushy and overprotective when there was another guy sniffing around. I used to believe it meant he really loved me. Now, I realized it was all about his ego. “No, you’re not, because what I do is no longer your concern.”

I grabbed the glass and put it on my tray.

“I love you, baby. And as much as you hate my guts right now, I know you still have feelings for me, too. All I need is a seed to work with.”

I looked him in the eye with a stony expression. “The seed is dead.”

Gabby appeared by my side. Her eyes glittered with warning. “Max, leave her alone. She’s had enough.”

His gaze narrowed. “I appreciate you supporting her, but this is between me and Landon.”

Gabby rolled her eyes. “No, it’s not. It’s between you and Long Beach Girl and YouTube.”

I almost laughed out loud but having Max near was starting to make me lose my shit. I was getting tired of the pleas and vows to make things right when it was impossible. There was no forgiveness inside me to think of giving him a second chance. “Go back to your side of the bar,” I said. “I’m not speaking with you tonight.”

“You cannot go with those guys to Core. I don’t trust them.”

Gabby raised her brow with interest. “You got invited there? By hot guys table?”

“Yeah. Wanna come?”

“Hell to the yes I want to come!” Gabby yelled. “We’ll get Elle, too.”

“Cool.”

Max looked like he was going to lose his mind. The satisfaction lit me up from the inside. I lifted the tray, ready to move on and ignore his ridiculous warnings. I’d learned early on how to take care of myself because no one was watching out for me. Mom was too drunk and Dad was already gone so when I made a bad choice, I was the only one who paid. I’d gotten lucky before, but I learned hard lessons, and didn’t need Max to protect me.

“Landon, please—” Max begged, leaning over the bar and reaching out to grab my arm.

I didn’t want him to touch me so I jerked hard and the tray tilted. The drink crashed to the floor and I jumped from the noise. I muttered a curse.

Randy came over and got in Max’s face. “What the hell are you doing?” he raged. “Keep away from Landon and do your damn job.”

“I’m trying to talk to my girlfriend,” Max ground out, bumping his chest against Randy.

Everyone at the bar began to stare at us.

“I’m not your girlfriend, asshole,” I said, bending down to pick up the shattered glass and get out of here. Gabby yelped. I heard a scuffle from behind the bar and looked up.

Randy and Max were going at it, yelling in each other’s faces, bumping each other’s chests in growing agitation. “Cut it out,” I commanded, standing up.

A glass fell off the bar, and Gabby jerked me back. Their voices grew louder and the shoving got more violent and I couldn’t believe the shit that was suddenly going down in a matter of seconds.

The crowd at the bar began to hoot and holler in excitement over a fight at the exclusive Red.

Just as I was seriously thinking of jumping between the two idiots, Rock appeared and broke it up. His tone was full of fury. “Get your ass in my office now,” he growled at Max. “Randy—back to work. Show’s over.”

I watched Max get dragged off, and felt the curious gazes from the bar patrons burn into my skin. The events of the long day and night began to hit me hard, and I couldn’t handle the onslaught of so many emotions at once. My body began to shake.

“Are you okay?” Gabby asked. “You look a little sick.”

The music blared and people laughed and Gabby stared at me with concern and all I knew was nothing would ever be the same because Max had betrayed me and I still had feelings for Adam.

I had to get out of here.

Weak tears stung my eyes. “No. I’m not alright. I feel like I’m gonna throw up.”

She straightened up. “Go home, now. I got you covered.”

I shook my head. “Gabby, it’s insane here, Rock will kill me.”

“Elle and I got you. Get out of here now, Landon. Please.”

My lower lip trembled. Appreciation rushed through me. She was a good friend and I was lucky to have her guarding my back. I gave a jerky nod, raced to the back room to grab my stuff, and left.

I didn’t want to go back to my quiet apartment where Max was supposed to have moved into so I walked. The night was muggy and the breeze barely stirred. The streets were jammed with tourists and revelers. They waited in line for restaurants and clubs, crowded around street vendors and corners, smoking weed and vaping, dressed to impress, chasing pleasure as dawn threatened to erase another evening’s hope and possibilities. The half-moon hung suspended in a dark velvet sky, peeking between buildings, marred by smog. The few stars that were visible streaked across the sky like they’d been split open and dragged across the clouds.

I thought of my relationship with Max and all of our bullshit. The games and the vows of love. The image of what I thought we could be. The way I liked how he did what I wanted, told me what I craved, and how well he treated me except for sleeping with other women. Even with sex, there was a gentle undercurrent that confirmed his love for me. But I hadn’t been enough.

I thought of Adam and his raw honesty. Of the way he pushed me, not afraid to see if I’d break. He had no issue with challenging me on my choices, asking hard questions no one else dared. I thought of the way he’d kissed me like I was his last dying breath.

Adam wouldn’t make love to me with care. He’d fuck me, use me, and take more than I wanted to give. He’d break open every shameful door and secret I kept hidden, from the world and myself. He’d foster not only endless pleasure, but pain, because I was beginning to learn there was much more lurking behind that feeling than I’d imagined.

I’d let Adam go to save myself. To save our group. To save Max, who I loved. To save my precious identity and meaning I’d assigned from being with certain men.

But there was nothing to save anymore. It was all smashed and broken to pieces and I got to choose how I put it back together. For the first time in my life, I didn’t want to follow any more rules. I didn’t want to be who I thought I should, or who people wanted me to be. The real problem was I didn’t know who that left. Who the hell was I really?

I walked and walked and found myself at Adam’s door.

I waited for him, in the shadows, knowing what I was about to do was wrong and twisted and selfish. Knowing I would do it anyway.

He appeared like a mirage and my greedy gaze took him in. My heart stopped and raced full force. He tried to stop it from happening. He was right to try, but I needed him too much to allow him to run.

I watched him grind his teeth and growl the words with a warning. “Get out of here, Landon. There’s nothing here for you.”

But there was. And I needed him.

“Please.”

My broken plea cut through the silence.

One second. Two. Three.

I waited, holding my breath.

He walked past me and let me in.