Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Three

Gabriella

Listen to Confident

by Demi Lovato

I walked through the casino, past the ringing slot machines and packed roulette tables, sensing the hot gazes of various men on my body. I didn’t linger or hesitate—I’d gotten past the discomfort with my bold looks and curvy body, and rarely returned the attention unless I was interested for a specific reason. My tangerine wrap dress emphasized my boobs and ass. My red hair spilled down my back in wild curls I didn’t care to tame. My skin was a touch red from the sun, but I’d used body glitter to even out the tone and shimmer under the lights. My heels were strappy gold sandals from a new female designer making waves—and I was the one who got to showcase her brand to the world.

Tonight, the Borgata was my playground and I couldn’t wait to partake in some games.

My heels sunk into the red carpet as I headed to the bar to meet the group. After my hellish school experiences and too many years of hating myself, I’d decided to take back my power. I wasn’t someone who could hide, and trying to duck attention and make myself small had almost destroyed me. My fingers unconsciously skimmed my inner wrist, feeling the marks on my skin from my botched attempt to get the pain to stop. There were scars on other parts of my body when I’d been cutting, but now they just reminded me of a dark time that I’d transformed into something worthy of the past pain.

Now, people sought me out for my looks, my style, and my fashion advice. I knew icons in the industry and well-known brands wanted me to sell their stuff. But I’d become so much more than my social feeds. I was about to launch my own business selling fashion consulting to the masses, and all the money I’d saved from working my ass off had finally come together. I’d paid for the site to be created and linked to my social media accounts. My website was called: The Drip with Gabby , a place I could show off my talents to the max. Clients would live Zoom with me and I’d help them pick out outfits from the stores, online, or their own closets. I’d get to know their personality, style, and sizes, then guide them to create and brand themselves with current trends. I’d finished doing a dry run with a handful of customers, and was able to work out the kinks before launch.

Getting the funding for an app was my next goal.

My site was a gamechanger. If it went big like I hoped, I could quit Red and go full-time.

I’d been underestimated my whole life. First, the world saw an overweight, shy, awkward girl with nothing worthy to say. Then I was the school slut to be shamed. Then the pretty girl influencer who didn’t have a brain. I used to hate the consistent judgment from people who didn’t know or give a crap about me.

But now?

I liked it. Because no one ever saw me coming.

Adam was waiting for me. We’d arranged to meet a little early to get our buzz on and our game plan. Dinner was at Bobby Flay’s place, then we’d do the bar hopping circuit. I was always pleasantly surprised at how hard this group partied, and no matter how bad shit got, they came together the next day. There seemed to always be an argument, but it was forgotten and forgiven, especially with Daisy being the ultimate peacemaker. Even with Landon and I, and how bad we fought in the beginning, she was starting to get real with me and open up. I could tell we were starting an honest friendship. And I knew once I was accepted into the inner circle, I’d have people who had my back.

The real question?

Would those bonds survive once I revealed my bombshell?

I wasn’t sure. Maybe I needed more time to decide. Maybe I’d just ignite the flame, step back, and study the fallout.

“Hey,” I said, grabbing the seat next to Adam. “You look good.”

He wore tight black jeans shredded at the knee, and a purple t-shirt with a ragged hem and print of an elephant. His jaw held sexy scruff, and his hair was freshly washed and slicked back from his forehead. A diamond earring glittered when he leaned over to casually kiss me. “So do you. As always. Here, I ordered you a martini. Extra dirty.”

I pursed my lips in thanks, sighing at the cold sting of the liquor sliding over my tongue. “Yum. So, how was your day? Get a lot of writing done?”

He nodded, tipping back his beer. “Finished the song we were stuck on. Facetimed the band and did a rough run through. Think it’s gonna stick.”

“That’s awesome.” I studied his face, noticing the flash of satisfaction in his dark eyes. “What’s next? Cut the tracks and go on tour?”

“That’s the initial plan. Now that we finalized the songs, we’ll record. We have some big gigs lined up in New York, and then JJ said we may go to LA.”

My eyes widened. “No shit? You okay with leaving New York? Doing the rock star thing?”

He shifted in his seat, his finger tapping the edge of his beer bottle. There was an air of discomfort that leaked from his aura. I’d gotten really good at studying people; their habits, weaknesses, passions. Sometimes, knowing how to navigate the landscape in the world of school and bullies made the difference of survival. Adam was harder to read than most, but when I figured something out about him, it was like finding a gold nugget. He fascinated me from the beginning. Adam hid behind the hard shell like a turtle, but underneath? He was kind and warm.

Too bad I couldn’t fall in love with him. Then again, friendship was so much better and more powerful. Sex could either ruin a relationship completely or bond it. Realizing we both decided not to complicate our friendship had been a decision we both made for a good reason.

Because he was completely in love with Landon.

“Are you giving me shit, too?” he grumbled under his breath. “I’m not a fucking rock star. I have to sing these damn songs and show people I can write. Then I can step into the background.”

I considered his words while I sipped my cocktail. “Don’t kid yourself, Adam. If you get big, which is a possibility, they’re not going to let you fade away. Everyone wants fame and money. You may get stuck.”

His silence was pissy. I waited it out. “I won’t let them trap me,” he finally said. “I’ll get out.”

“You’re a wolf. You’re going to chew off your own paw for the price of your freedom, aren’t you?”

He blinked. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Never mind. It’s the movie, Moonstruck . I like the lines Cher said and I’ve been dying to say them one day, though I paraphrased.”

He laughed, which made me laugh. “I’ll have to watch it. How was the beach? You still taking crap from the girls?”

“You mean Landon? No, we’re good now. She’ll always be a bitch, but now she’s becoming more my bitch. In a friendship way.”

He shook his head. “That was a turnaround. But I’m glad.”

I fished out an olive and popped it in my mouth. “Funny, I don’t believe you. I think you like the idea of Landon giving me shit so you have another reason to dislike her.”

I waited and watched as my words hit. Right on cue, he jerked back and his face shut down. But not before I glimpsed the flare of emotion in his dark eyes. Oh, yeah, she had him tied up in knots. I’d known Adam was into her from the time we first met. The only reason I wasn’t pissed off at Landon playing him was because she was just as fucked up. Moving in with Max yet in love with Adam. It was like a Bravo show turned up to the 9 th degree.

A jolt of power shook through me. I crossed my legs at the arousal it brought on, knowing I was the one that could change the course for both of them.

For all of them.

Adam managed a half shrug to my comment. “Don’t need another reason––there’s enough to pick from.”

“She told me you were being mean to her at the elevator. When I interrupted.”

Adam didn’t look at me. “Yeah? Well, that’s her whining again.”

“Do you respect her work? Or do you think she’s really an idiot trying for a shot at fame because she can’t do anything else?”

The fire in his gaze lasered at me. “Landon’s not dumb. She just makes sloppy choices.”

My lips twitched in the need to smile. This was so easy. “Like moving in with Max? Do you think that’s a good decision for them?”

“I don’t care. Whatever they want to do to make themselves happy, go for it.”

Bitterness seeped from his tone. I circled my target like a predator playing with her prey. I’d challenged him before, but it was still new, and he’d blown me off. Now I knew so much more.

Perfectly timed, I caught in my peripheral vision the rest of the group moving into the bar, heading toward us, and I spoke up.

“Too bad she won’t admit to herself she’s in love with you, though. Not Max.”

I registered the shock on his face; the way his mouth opened to deny my words; the naked truth in his seething onyx eyes.

Then I grinned and drained the rest of my drink. “Over here!” I shouted, waving them over, giving Adam just enough time to recover.

We fell into easy greetings, paid for the drinks, and headed over to the restaurant for dinner. I noticed Landon stayed away from Adam and clung to Max like he was her security blanket. I studied Adam as he chatted with Max and tried to show her he didn’t care. I noticed Noah sneaking looks at Elle, and how Elle and Cooper’s sexual energy seemed more intense, like something big was about to happen. I noticed Daisy stare at Noah with open admiration, obviously in love. And I watched Max lead us all forward, aware of everything yet nothing, secure in his confidence that everything always worked out for him.

They fascinated me; lured me; disgusted me. I wanted to sink into all of the dynamics and let myself go free within my own rule as newcomer, where the rules hadn’t been written for me yet, and anything was possible.

It was only about how far I wanted to go.

The night wore on. We drank and danced. We swallowed a few pills until the lines got blurred, and everyone pressed against each other, half naked and sweaty and fabulous, drunk on alcohol and sexiness and youth. I kissed Adam and felt Landon’s eyes burn us alive. I watched Elle and Coop sneak away, his hands up her skirt, her skin flushed with arousal and the lure of doing something bad. Daisy sat on Noah’s lap, and made out, but afterward he watched the door where Elle had exited, his face twisted with guilt and longing and confusion.

I watched all of it in the flickering club lights, hyper aware of every move and look between us all.

And I couldn’t wait to light the match.