Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

Landon

Listen to Love Myself

by Hailee Steinfeld

I blinked. My heart beat so hard in my chest I figured she’d hear it. “What do you mean? Nothing’s going on with me and Adam.”

“Bullshit.” She shook her head and I watched her curls bounce. “I know you both like to argue, but I could tell he said something shitty. It was all over your face. And Adam looked guilty, so it must’ve been bad.”

Shock held me silent for a bit. Then my brain scrambled to try and keep up. “Oh, we got into a thing about work. He obviously doesn’t respect my choices and I gave him crap about selling out with joining a band.” I kept my shrug casual. “It’s the usual stuff. We just butt heads. I appreciate you checking on me, though. That’s really nice.”

Her gaze probed mine and I did everything to keep my face from showing any weird emotion. “Hmm. I wonder why he’s always picking on you. He never gives me a hard time about influencing or how many pics I take for my social media.”

“We have a history of bad blood. Probably like sibling rivalry—we’re always jabbing at each other.”

Oh, God, the words practically stuck in my mouth. Siblings don’t kiss like they want to devour each other whole. The memory of his mouth on mine made my skin prickle. I’d fantasized about kissing Adam for so long, and the reality had been even better than I imagined. What would have happened if Gabby hadn’t broken it up? How far would we have gone?

I didn’t want to think about the possibility.

“Yeah, I guess. But I’m going to mention it to him. There’s nothing wrong with the choices you’re making, Landon. It’s nobody’s business but yours, and I’m sick of women getting shit for using our assets. It’s fine for men to want us to look sexy but the moment you want to monetize it, we get torn down.”

Surprise flickered through me. Gabby wasn’t the person I first imagined and I actually enjoyed learning about her different layers. She was truly herself and didn’t care about what anyone else thought of her. I’d hated that about her in the beginning. Now, I felt it was her best part. “I agree. But honestly, don’t worry about Adam. I’ve already forgotten about the whole conversation. No need to mess things up this weekend—you probably need some quality alone time.”

Gabby tilted her head and regarded me intently. “You know Adam and I aren’t sleeping together, right?”

I blinked. “You’re not?”

“Nope. Oh, we thought about it, but we’re just really good friends. There’s no real sexual spark so we decided to keep it cool.”

The ground shifted underneath and I felt my head spin. They weren’t sleeping together? I’d assumed she was in his bed. The realization hit me with a mess of emotions; elation and satisfaction and terror all twisted in my belly. I’d convinced myself if they were a couple it would help put distance between us, but knowing in some sick way Adam was still mine?

The revelation hit me like a sucker punch.

I was glad.

Glad he wasn’t touching her naked body and whispering her name and kissing her like she belonged to him.

“Oh, I guess I assumed you hooked up.”

“Nope. To be honest, I think Adam is hot for someone else. Not sure who, but he has all the signs of being lovesick.” She grinned with a bit of mischief. “I’m still working on him telling me who. He likes his secrets, but I’m a master at getting what I want. Eventually, I’ll find out who she is.”

I forced myself to smile back. “Let me know when you do. Maybe we know her.”

“Maybe we do.”

I caught a strange flicker in her eyes, but it was gone so quickly I couldn’t figure it out. I knew her words came like a warning; like one of those awful black crows lying in wait as a sign of death or destruction. Shivers shot down my spine. I needed to be careful with Gabby. If she suspected, everything could be ruined.

For both Adam and me.

In an instant, the tension disappeared and Gabby surprised me by reaching out. Her cold hand pressed against mine and gently squeezed. “I know we had a rocky start, but I’ve started to really care about you and this group. I’ve never had a tight circle of friends that had my back.”

“Not even a childhood friend?” I asked.

She nibbled at her bottom lip. A shadow flickered across her features, and suddenly, I was looking at a different Gabby, one who was revealing softer emotions. “No. I had a hard time making friends. I put out a certain vibe that’s gotten me into this influencing career, and a job at Red, but I really have a shitload of issues.”

“Girl, I have so many it’s like an all you can eat buffet.”

She chuckled. “Yeah, I guess so. See, I was bullied in middle school. It got pretty bad. I looked different from everyone else, and I was scared. I was pretty snotty, and the combination was not good. I even tried to hurt myself to make it go away. “

I sucked in a breath. “Oh, Gabby, I’m so sorry. Bastards. School is the worst—it’s the only reason I never want kids because I’d have to put them through middle school.”

“Agreed. Anyway, I bloomed in college, found my crowd, and turned it around. Now, I get to own my story in front of the camera, and I don’t give a shit who doesn’t like it. That’s why I don’t like the idea of Adam giving you pushback. I’ve got your back and will go all queen bee on his ass if you want. Women need to stick together.”

Warmth flooded through me at her words. I loved that she was willing to turn on Adam if she believed he was doing something wrong. It showed how badass she was, and proved she was someone I could trust. “I was wrong about you, Gabby,” I said quietly. “And I really appreciate you looking out for me. But the stuff between Adam and I is fine. I’ve said my own shitty things to him, and we manage to shake it off and not hold a grudge. But thanks for having my back. It means a lot.”

“Good.” She hugged me and I hugged her back. I felt a new understanding between us that deepened our friendship.

Too bad I was lying to her.

And myself.