Chapter 9

9

OSCAR

It’s been four days since Thanksgiving and Keller has somehow managed to avoid me in my own house. I never thought I’d see the day that I’d have to chase down a man on crutches just to get him to listen to me. But that’s what I’m doing today.

As Keller makes his way into the kitchen, he has no clue I’m behind him. I watch him hobble on those metal death contraptions, his words not mine, and wonder how he can still be so utterly sexy. He’s got on a pair of sweatpants that ride dangerously low on his hips. His shirt is a thin jersey material that is riding up with each shift of the crutches.

Temptation is such an evil thing.

He nearly drops his crutches when I pop out from behind him as he stops at the island. The blender and its ingredients are already set up there from when I made my coffee earlier. I know he hates me doing it but watching him struggle with the container those first few days irritated the fire out of me.

“Good morning.” He grunts in response. I lean my hip on the counter watching him as he pours some of the protein powder in the blender. Keeping back a grimace is hard when I think of how that shit tastes. I made him let me try it when he first started using it. The regret was immediate.

When he’s finally done and sipping on his putrid drink, I wave over to the table so we can sit. He looks at the crutches and the drink in his hand then gives me a look. I roll my eyes and take the drink from him. He follows behind me sitting across the table instead of beside me like I’d hoped.

“You know it’s really funny how this all worked out.” He gives me a look that lets me know he’s confused, so I continue. “You and I kind of had something. It was a weird, convoluted thing but it was something. We were friends. Best friends. And then I thought maybe we could be more, but you turned me down. And that was fine. The idea of us having someone else with us was always a possibility but we never explored it. It was the Hail Mary, so to speak.”

He sips his drink slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. I can’t tell with that poker face he has on what he’s thinking. “And then four days ago, we went to a party where we met someone new.”

I don’t even have to say Neil’s name for him to freeze up. His body goes tight as guilt surges up. At least, I imagine it’s guilt.

Because at first, I felt guilty too.

How could I not?

I had believed I would love Keller for forever. Even if I couldn’t have him. I still believed that he would be the one to own my heart.

But then Neil shows up and it’s like my heart made room for him. Which is weird since I don’t even know him. I’ve met him before whenever we helped out on the farm for Rhett. Last I heard things were going better for him and his friend. Part of me wishes we could go back in this time, maybe I could drag Keller along. Even with his crutches he’d be stubborn enough to help.

Me, him, and Neil alone in a barn. Well, I can think of a few things that could happen

“What are you trying to say? Oscar?” he asks me, taking a break from his drink.

“I’m trying to say that I like Neil. And I know you like Neil. And I think that Neil might like us.”

He scoffs. “You really think that that sweet little professor wants to be with both of us. Come on, man. It was a long shot any day. Sure. There are more poly people in the world now. Even then, it would take a miracle to find someone who would put up with both of us. Who says I want a relationship anyway? You know, I’m not the type.” His words are a rush of self-doubt. Wounds of his past are bared open as he tears himself down.

This time it’s me who makes the noise of disbelief. “Just because you don’t claim a relationship doesn’t mean you’re not good at it, Keller. You’re the best unofficial boyfriend I’ve ever had.” I tease him about the way that we had a non-relationship, relationship

“Okay, I’ll humor you. What if Neal likes us both? And he decides he wants to date us both. What happens then? How do we navigate this?”

I place my hands on the table, palms up, out and extended to him. “We do what we have always done. We push through it. We find a way. We make the best of a situation no matter what happens.”

“And what about us? Are we going to share him? Do we take turns?” Fire ignites at the vision his words paint. I’d give anything to see that situation come to life. To see him bending Neil over while I stroke myself beside them.

Instead of unleashing my desperation on him, I shrug and try to act nonchalant. “We can. Or we could all be together. If that’s what he wants. If that’s what you want.”

Keller takes another slow slip from the straw in his drink. “You’d really be okay with me and another man having sex with you in the room?”

I fight back from screaming out, “YES!”

Giving him my most charming smile, I lean forward bringing myself closer. “I’ll be involved in some way. I don’t mind who I’m with. But I can even watch if need be.”

“I think you and I both know that this is something that could happen. It’s something that could be real if we just push past the initial confusion of it all. If we take a leap and give it a chance it could really work.”

He takes a deep breath. “Yeah, I know it could.”

“So, you’re not going to run from me this time?” I ask him.

He shakes his head with a grin. “How in the world would I run anywhere? These crazy crutches keep me tied down worse than ratchet straps on a Ford F-150.”

A boisterous laugh leaves me at the picture he paints. His smile is like light after a storm. It shines at me across the table. I wiggle my fingers motioning for him to grab my hands. He reaches across slowly, almost as if he’s afraid to make the connection.

When our fingers touch electricity shoots through my body. It’s the same feeling I’ve always had with him. The one that lets me know that even though I tried to pretend for years that we were just friends, it was never that. It didn’t matter what I told myself or what he told me. There was something there.

The slight widening of his eyes and the deep breath he takes let me know that he feels it too.

“I won’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable, Keller, but I really think that this can be the thing that brings us together the way it always should have been. There’s something about that little professor that makes me want to take care of him. It makes me want to sit down with him and go over lesson plans. To drive him to his classes and drop him off with a kiss and some coffee. It makes me want to take him to Princess Aster’s house and dress him up in all those pretty clothes he’s got in that shop of his.”

Keller nods. “I know what you mean. I feel mostly the same way except a part of me wants to just wrap my arms around him and never let go.” He pauses, his eyes searching mine. “He gave me a number, you know?”

I had an idea that’s what happened, though I don’t let him know it. “Are you going to ask him out?”

“I think I am. No… wait. I know I am, but it would be selfish to keep him to myself. Especially since I know you want him too.”

I don’t immediately agree. I want him to feel his own feelings. He doesn’t need to just reflect what I’m saying and what I’m doing. I can be a bit pushy when I want something, and I really want this.

Keller and Neil.

Me, Keller, and Neil.

The whole picture.

“How about this?” I ask after a few minutes of silence between us. Our hands are still connected, so I give him a squeeze. “What if you ask him out? You could take him to dinner or a movie or whatever it is you want to do. And then afterward, you can come to my place. If he’s okay with it. You’ll have to be somewhat of a guide to let him know this may or may not be something he’s interested in. If he’s not, that’s fine. You can make your decision about being with him. It’s all your own and I won’t be mad either way. But if he decides he thinks he can do this, then bring him here and we’ll sit him down for a talk.”

“How am I supposed to get around with these bum legs?”

I rub my thumb along the tips of his fingers. “I’m sure I can drive you there and drop you off. Neil wouldn’t mind giving you a ride or I can come by and pick you up if he’s not into the idea of meeting with both of us. Either way, I’m sure it will get settled.”

Keller nods. “That’s a reasonable idea, I guess. I just worry about what’s going to happen and how this will go. What if he turns down the date idea?”

He doesn’t have to say the words for me to know that his fear of rejection is rearing its ugly head. Things he can control, like his job or his health, are easy to handle. When someone else is involved, he becomes a cloud of worry.

“Why don’t we do this together?” I tell him. “Pull out your phone now and call him. He doesn’t have to know I’m here. And I won’t say a word. I’ll just be your backup in case you lose the words to speak.”

He stares at me wide eyed but does as I suggest. He presses the dial button, then turns the phone on speakerphone and sets it on the table

“Hey there,” a soft voice says. “I didn’t know if you’d ever actually call.”

Keller gives a forced laugh. “To be honest, I wasn’t sure I would either. It has only been four days. And I broke the traditional three-day rule, but I wanted to give it some time.”

“I understand. How are you feeling? How’s the leg?”

Keller looks at me to gauge my reaction. I only smile as I continue to rub his hands.

“The leg is fine. Same as ever. I’ll be glad when it’s back to normal. I was actually calling you to see if I could take you out to dinner.” The line goes silent, only the sound of his breathing coming through.

“I’d be… I’d be interested in that. Yes. Interested. What did you have in mind?” That hesitation made Keller clam up, but the cute way Neil fumbles over his words bolsters his courage. I mouth to him – date and time.

He rattles off one of his favorite places to go when he’s not on shift. The plan is for two days from now. Neil agrees and before long, he’s hanging up.

Jealousy threatens to rise up, but I squash it down. It’s clear that he felt more comfortable with Keller than he did with me. I have a feeling it’s my trait of being pushy that did it. I forced my way into his space in the kitchen that day. I stepped into his comfort zone and made him uncomfortable.

At the same time, I think I also ignited a flame inside of him. I could feel the way his body was gasping in breaths as if he was aroused. I could tell by the way he quivered in front of me that he was needy and aching.

Even so, I think Keller is the safe bet and that’s why he got the number when I didn’t.

But what Neil doesn’t know is that we’re actually a team. Like a buy one get one free coupon. One firefighter and one plumber. What a pair?

We’ve got two days to prepare for the date. Keller will be a ball of nerves, but I’m going to coach him on how to handle this. In a way I think Neil will be receptive, so he just has to be himself. Keller’s charming enough as it is.

The only real test will be when he explains that I’m interested too, and that he’d like both of us involved. That will be the moment of truth.

Either the night will end with them coming to my place or it’ll end with me alone in my room wishing things were different.