Chapter 28

28

Bess walked to her mum's after delivering the iPad to Marianne. She was sure she was still smiling from Gio's company when she arrived for coffee and cake.

With Malcolm happily watching an overseas cricket match on the television in the lounge, Bess and her mum sat in the kitchen with their second slice of lemon drizzle each.

‘You and Nadia could take on the world with your baking, you know,' Bess said.

‘You need your sustenance for work later and the tree drive tomorrow. I can't believe how many people have their trees ready and waiting on the grass verge. I hope you've raised lots of money.'

‘People have given very generously this year.'

‘I am glad. I don't think a lot of people realise that the air ambulance isn't funded by the government – you need the generosity of the community.'

‘We sure do and we've raised a few thousand pounds already.' Bess licked her fingers when she finished her piece of the soft, moist cake. ‘Does Malcolm really not want a second slice? I'll take it to him if you like.'

‘He's not got as sweet a tooth as me, love. He's all right with the cricket and the roaring fire.' They shared a giggle when they heard him cheer at the match from behind the closed door.

‘The snow has almost melted.' Bess looked beyond the patio doors and into the garden.

‘It'll be spring before we know it.'

Bess hooked her fingers into the handle of her mug of tea. ‘Malcolm is nice, Mum. Really nice. I like him a lot.'

The brightness of her mum's smile said it all. She'd found a different and unexpected kind of happy and it meant a lot to have her daughter's endorsement. ‘He likes you too, love. I'm glad you're giving him a chance.'

‘I still can't believe he lent me money. I promise you, I won't let him or you down.'

‘We both know that, love.'

Bess chose her words carefully. ‘The way I was with Malcolm when we first met had less to do with him and everything to do with me.'

Fiona smiled kindly. ‘I know. It's because of your dad; he's a tough act to follow.'

‘He's a different act, Mum.'

‘Yes, I suppose he is.'

‘And he's similar in a few ways.'

‘The financial expertise.'

‘Not just that – the calm demeanour, his approach and the way he deals with the practical rather than flapping in a panic.'

‘Like me,' said Fiona. ‘You're like your dad, calm in a crisis, which is how you do your job.'

‘I think I've got a bit of you in me too.' She'd certainly not handled her financial predicament so well. ‘I'm glad you found Malcolm. I wanted you to know that.'

‘I'm glad I found him too. I never thought I'd meet another man, let alone one who I wanted to spend so much time with.'

‘Neither did I, and because I know you and Dad fell in love straight away, it was hard for me to see you with anyone else.'

Fiona's eyes twinkled. ‘It was never that quick, your dad and me. I went out with him after a friend set us up. He ticked a lot of boxes – handsome, he made me laugh, but he was a bit too serious for my liking. I almost didn't go on a second date. But I did and after we'd been out four or five times, that was when I really began to fall for him.'

‘So, it wasn't love at first sight?'

‘Not at all. He took a while to grow on me and vice versa. I think that thunderbolt and lightning feeling happens sometimes but not always. It takes a while to get to know what a person is like beneath the surface. Those, Bess, are the most interesting layers of all.'

She thought about Gio, what her impressions of him had been only a few short months ago. They were vastly different to how she saw him now.

Fiona glanced over to the picture of the both of them. ‘I think your dad and I were the yin to each other's yang or whatever the expression is. I was a throw-caution-to the-wind type of girl; he was one to keep his feet firmly on the ground. And somehow, it worked.'

She looked away from the picture and back to Bess. ‘With Malcolm, it's different but it's a good different.'

Bess set her mug down after a warming mouthful of tea. ‘I mean it when I say how happy I am for you, Mum. And he was so good to me the day he came over to my house and we sorted out my finances. Thanks to you and to him, I feel like I'm going to get on top of things once and for all. Overtime is my friend now; Marianne is staying a few extra months thanks to her job going so well and the fact we seem to get on living under the same roof.'

‘It sounds as though everything is working out.' But she studied her daughter. ‘What else is there, Bess?'

For the first time, Bess knew she was going to get all of this out in the open. ‘When Dad died, I was really angry.' She hadn't wanted to share this part of her grief, she didn't want her mum to have to manage her feelings as well as her own, but she'd hidden it for too long. ‘Angry for him because he was so careful financially but not just that, angry because I wasn't there. I couldn't save him. With all my training, my knowledge, I wasn't there.'

‘Oh, love. No, you weren't. But you can't be angry about that.'

‘I know, it seems irrational, but I am.'

‘I suppose I can understand why but you need to let that go.'

‘I know, it's just… well, I carry the frustration to this day if I let myself think about it. I sometimes dream about it, you know, that I'm saving him, that I resuscitate him and everything is okay. Then I wake up and realise it isn't.'

Her mum hugged her close. ‘That must be incredibly hard. I have the dreams too, that he's around. It drains me when it happens.'

She wasn't sure whether that made her feel better or worse.

‘Why didn't you ever tell me that this was how you were feeling, Bess?'

‘I didn't want to make it harder for you in any way.'

‘But it wouldn't have. I knew you had some sort of barrier up, that you weren't telling me everything. I wish you had. You don't always have to be the strong one.'

‘I know that now. But I wanted to protect you from having to support me as well as yourself. '

‘I'm your mum.'

And when Malcolm unleashed an even louder cheer from the lounge, they both began to laugh.

‘I'm happy for you, Mum.' Bess nodded in the direction of the closed door behind which her mother's new boyfriend was sitting, part of their lives now.

‘I'm happy for me too. And thank you, that means the world.' She held onto Bess a little longer. ‘What about a happy ending for you, Bess?'

‘For me?'

Fiona began to smile. ‘I've heard you talk about your lodger, or more importantly about her son.'

‘Gio? We're just friends.'

‘You've been friends a long time.'

‘I don't want anything to spoil that.'

‘But you want more.'

‘It's not that simple, Mum.'

Her mum squeezed her a little tighter, excitedly. ‘Take a chance, Bess. That keyring you have, the one that says, Live each day as if it's your last ? That doesn't only apply to holidays, spending, new things. It applies to love as well. And love is one thing that it's worth taking a risk for. Please believe me when I say that.'

‘You make it sound easy.'

‘It's never easy. Dating is hard at whatever age. You meet some people you wish you'd never taken a chance on. Oh, but when you meet someone who's worth it, as I suspect Gio is, or you wouldn't be tying yourself in knots over him, it's well and truly worth it.'

Bess cuddled her mum. So right about so many things.

Was there a chance she was right about this?

Was it time to take a chance on Gio?