Chapter 27

27

Gio came to the end of another physio session and rather than be pissed off and gung-ho in completing every exercise and every repetition more than he needed to – either to make a point or speed up his recovery – he felt as though his approach had settled.

Aysha had even commented on it as she packed her equipment away, ready to leave.

‘You're in a good headspace, Gio. It's good to see. And you must have been careful enough getting to the young boy; your knee doesn't seem any worse.'

Hearing that felt good. He'd told her about the sledging: the way he'd bolted out of the house, angry with himself and the world; the way he'd come home in an entirely different mood. He knew his mood would likely dip again but for the first time, he saw that that might well be normal, that a dip was okay and he could bring himself up again. Helping Lionel seemed to have opened up a part of his soul he'd been protecting since his injury. He loved being a firefighter for a lot of reasons – the adrenaline, the physical exertion, but he also did it to help people. And he'd helped Lionel yesterday. It might not have been rescuing him from a fire, but it was a rescue nonetheless, a rescue he'd played a part in. And boy, did it feel good.

But it wasn't only Lionel; it was seeing Bess at the scene too. He'd watched her attend to the patient, he'd seen her concentration, her skilled approach, all the while thinking about the look on her face when she realised he wasn't the victim. Her reaction showed she cared and that had done more for him than he'd ever thought possible.

Since the night at the pub, he'd been worrying about his mum, but he'd also felt a part of his sympathy going to Bess after she told him the whole truth about why she got so wasted. He'd gone over to her house to make sure she knew how serious this was with Marianne, that he didn't want her to have a slip and start drinking again. But he'd left discombobulated because watching Bess struggle to tell him what she'd been hiding, the mess she'd got herself into, he'd realised he wasn't only worried about his mum; he was worried about her. And that meant he was falling for her on a much deeper level than simply finding her attractive and wanting to take her out to dinner. And it was scary. He didn't do relationships. He asked women out; they never lasted very long – sometimes they ended it or he did when it ran its course. He got the feeling that if Bess ever let him take her out on a date, it would work very differently for both of them.

Gio had only just closed the door on Aysha when his phone chimed with an incoming FaceTime call. It was his brother.

‘You're smiling,' Marco noted. He'd been busy for a couple of days with work, the kids, and the last contact Gio had had was a brief text to say they'd talk soon. And that had been in response to a rather long rant via voice message.

‘What's wrong with that?'

‘Going by your voice message the other day, I expected you to be crying. Good to see you're accepting the doctor's appointment for what it was – not great but not shite either.'

‘You've such a way with words.'

‘Look, it wasn't a flat out no about ever returning to full duties, and sometimes that is the case.'

‘So I should count myself lucky?'

‘You're allowed to be angry, frustrated, but try to keep positive as well.'

‘I'm trying, but it's hard sometimes.'

‘I know.'

The fact he did the same job made Gio feel more like he was missing out on some days when he heard his brother talk about the fire station, a shout they'd been on. But on the flip side, Marco understood his pain better than anyone, even the doctors. Marco understood what Gio's job meant to him.

Gio recapped on the sledging incident, the rescue of the young boy.

‘How did it feel?' Marco asked.

‘Bloody fantastic to be outside in the fresh air.'

‘I didn't mean that, I meant helping the young boy.'

‘Why do you think I'm not moaning so much right now? It felt good to help, good to not feel entirely useless.'

‘So dramatic,' Marco laughed.

‘What if I'm confined to a desk forever? I'm not sure I could take it.'

‘Like I said… dramatic.' But the ribbing didn't last. ‘Remember when I broke my arm and was on desk duty for a month?'

‘I'd forgotten. I bet you hated it.'

‘Of course I did. I'm not gonna lie. I was bored out of my skull.'

‘Not helping me, bro. Did you call hoping to cheer me up? '

‘I called to tell you to buck up. Grow a pair. Whatever.'

He knew he had to, but knowing he should and actually doing it were different things.

‘I did admin when I was desk bound,' Marco went on. ‘But there are other things. Training new recruits, for a start. One of the crew here had an op on his ankle; he's part of the recruitment and training process now.'

‘Watching other guys gear up to do the job I want to do is hardly therapy,' Gio grumbled.

Marco didn't speak straight away, but when he did, he told it how he saw it. ‘Gio, you can either feel sorry for yourself and become that guy that is so miserable, nobody wants to be around him or you can find a distraction for a while. Sounds like you did that yesterday. I wouldn't recommend hurling yourself down any more steep inclines on a sledge but sitting at home all day every day will drive you batshit crazy.'

They talked for almost an hour. Gio tentatively brought Marianne into the conversation threads, despite Marco's reservations about trusting her again. And by the time he ended the call to answer the door, Gio had to admit that he was beginning to see the light, albeit one that wasn't quite glowing yet.

And his mood improved another notch when he found Bess standing on his doorstep.

‘Come in.' He almost leapt in to ask whether this was about Marianne, but he held off.

‘I'm here to collect an iPad. Does that make sense?'

‘Oh, yes, I'll go grab it.' It was in the kitchen with its charger and he brought it through to Bess. ‘I got her a reconditioned one; her phone is basic rather than a smartphone so this will be good for her. She insists on paying for it but please remind her there's no rush.'

‘She'll want to pay for it; it gives her a sense of achievement. '

He smiled. ‘I like that she tells you things.'

‘She's been really good to talk to about my own problems.'

‘I'm glad.'

‘You are?'

‘Of course. And being at your place has been good for her.' He didn't miss the relief on her face. ‘I mean it.'

‘She's working very hard, picking up extra shifts.'

‘She's a new woman.' He put a finger against his own forehead. ‘You've got a bit of dirt right here.' He hadn't noticed it until she hooked her hair off her face and behind her ear.

She swiped at it with her hand, rubbed until he let her know it had all gone. ‘Thought I'd got it all. I've been helping a couple of the elderly residents on my street, dragging Christmas trees outside and I caught my hair in the branches more than once.'

He reached out and pulled another pine needle from her tumble of curls, almost hoping he'd see another and another. ‘Here.' He handed her the iPad. ‘Thanks for collecting it.' He was glad to see her. Any time.

‘I needed the walk. I'm no longer a member of the gym on account of saving money so it's pounding the pavements for me from now on.' She registered him standing there, the way he'd gone out to the kitchen. ‘You're walking without a stick.'

‘Only short distances for now. My physio just left and I'm progressing well.' He gestured to the lounge. ‘Can you stay a while? I can make us a coffee?'

‘I can't today, got a few chores to do and then I'm on the late shift. And then tomorrow, it's the Christmas tree collection day so all hands on deck.'

Even from the confines of his hallway, they didn't miss the sound of a helicopter flying overhead. ‘You're wondering who that is and where they're going?' he said.

‘Don't you do the same when you see or hear a fire engine? '

‘Guilty. I think it's in our nature, isn't it, to want to leap in and help? And on the hardest of jobs, when we achieve an unexpected positive outcome, that's the best feeling ever.' He was losing himself in his own thoughts, his own passions now.

‘I'm sorry if you thought I was being nosy, by the way, when I mentioned Norm's comment about your doctor's visit.'

He wished they were having this conversation over coffee, that she could hang around. ‘Please don't apologise. There's no need.' And it was nice that she cared.

‘You seem positive today, though.'

‘I am, mostly. I really want to get back to work but I'm in a good headspace. And if I'm not going to go back to climbing ladders, I'll have to think of something else.'

‘Good for you.'

‘What would you do? If you couldn't be a critical care paramedic?'

She thought about it. ‘Bitch, moan, scream.'

That had him chuckling. ‘Sounds like me.'

‘I'd have to think of something else that involved helping people. I'd need the interaction, even if I couldn't quite do the same job. I'd miss it too much, I think. What about you? Is there anything else you'd think about doing?'

‘I've no idea what else is out there. I'm going to have to consider my options in the next month or so, as I get more mobile. I can already see me going stir crazy without a focus.'

Although he could focus on her. That might make the time more bearable.

‘Did you get any further sorting your finances out?' he asked, before grunting. ‘Sorry, nosy bugger, tell me to mind my own business.'

‘It's fine, I don't mind you asking; I did offload a lot on you. And actually, Mum's boyfriend has been a big help. '

‘Really?'

‘Really.'

She filled him in on how Malcolm had turned up out of the blue, lent her some money, how they'd sat down and hashed out a plan for her to get on top of things.

‘He sounds like a decent bloke.'

‘He is. He has a good heart and Mum seems really happy.'

He hadn't mistaken it, had he? The atmosphere between them… heated, with a pulse. It was difficult not to reach out and pull her towards him. Was she thinking that maybe they could find their own happy, with each other?

‘Are you sure you can't stay?' he asked again.

She hesitated but only briefly. ‘I have to go.' She held the iPad up. ‘I'll give this to your mum.'

He leaned against the door jamb when she stepped outside but soon stood straight again, conscious of not assuming his knee was totally normal. He'd reached the stage where despite any discomfort, sometimes he could forget. It was as if the negativity at the doctor's office that day had made him let go of the ferocity with which he was pushing his recovery and as a result, he'd actually begun to move further.

‘Can I help with the tree drive?' he asked quickly before she could leave him to it. He didn't want her to go. He enjoyed her company too much.

Her gaze fell to his knee but rather than an outright no, she said, ‘You sure?'

‘I can give it a go. Take me with you, we'll see how I am, I can always hobble off if it's too hard. Call it a different sort of physio session, if you like.'

‘You're on.' She gave him a time to be at the airbase. ‘But you tell me the minute your knee gives you trouble.' She held up a warning finger when his facial expression must have given away that he had absolutely no intention of doing that. ‘I mean it, Gio.'

‘On one condition. You finally agree to letting me take you to dinner.'

She looked surprised.

‘Is that a yes?' he asked when she said nothing. ‘Actually, don't answer me now, but promise me you'll think about it.'

She grinned, nodded and as she walked away, told him, ‘I'll see you at 10a.m. sharp.'

It wasn't a date, but it was a start. She'd admitted she'd worried about him, she cared, and now she was letting him in that little bit more. Plus, she hadn't turned him down flat at the suggestion of dinner either.

And it was the best feeling ever.