Chapter Twenty

~ Wright ~

"How is everything this week?" Sunshine Megan asked. It wasn't her real name, obviously, but Xander referred to Wright's therapist by that name because she was always smiling. It fit her personality. No matter how hard the sessions got for Wright, she made sure it ended on a good note.

"Great," Wright said. He was sitting in his usual spot on the bed, on Xander's side. He was taking a shower right now and would be out for the last bit of his session. Supper was in the oven already too. Xander was making some sort of chicken lasagna for them tonight. He really was lucky with his life now. "I finally got to work alone with the horses this week. Paxton gave me the go ahead to take Willow out into the paddock on my own and it went perfectly. Then, I brushed Raven and Luna. I love all of them."

"That's wonderful," Megan said. She even clapped and Wright laughed while she wrote something down. "And how are other things going? Has there been any update on where your father is?"

It'd been two weeks since he saw the For Sale sign outside his old house. They were getting into August now, the hottest month of the year. His birthday was just over a week away. Patrick said that their lawyer, Raegan, hadn't been able to track him down yet. Wright hoped that meant he was out of the state and out of his life for good. He had a new family and he loved each of them. "Nothing new," he said. "Patrick said they're looking for him and there's a warrant out for his arrest. It's a little unsettling not knowing where he is, but I'm safe here. I know that."

"And will you be okay if you never get that closure?" she asked. Wright thought about it. As safe as he felt, he did have a little bit of anxiety that he didn't know where he was. He knew Xander would protect him. And he was stronger. He could fight back now. Doing the physical work he did and having more than one meal a day was making him healthier than he'd ever been. He was nowhere close to Xander, or even Paxton, but he had the confidence to take care of himself now. But he didn't want to be constantly looking over his shoulder for years.

"I think so," Wright said. He told her his other thoughts as well. He could hear the shower turn off. There were no secrets between him and Xander so when he stuck his head out of the bathroom to see if he was good, he kept talking and just nodded.

"I'm so proud of all the work you've already done," she said. "It can take some people months to get to the point you're at now. Are you comfortable with the rate of your progress?"

"I am," Wright said easily. "I think it's because of being here. I thought starting therapy, it would be hard to open up, but being surrounded by a family that loves me, it's easier. And it's easy to talk to you. I never imagined this is how my life would end up but I truly love the work and living here."

"What do you think is the biggest part of your recovery and progress?" Wright tilted his head slightly, not sure what she meant by the question. Her smile was genuine when she reworded her question. "Let's say you moved to your own apartment, still in the city. You got a job, maybe made some friends. Do you think your progress would be the same as it is now?"

"Probably not." Wright wasn't too sure why that was an easy answer for him. And she must have been expecting it. She gave him a soft smile.

"And why do you think that is? Is it not what you're doing now? New place to live, new job, friends."

"Yeah, but here I have a family." Wright said it like it was the most obvious answer in the world, that even his subconscious knew it. The Lawson's were family. He continued on. "A real family. One that eats meals together and sits on the porch to enjoy the weather. They talk about their feelings and resolve disagreements with words and not their hands. Paxton and Victor know they're allowed to make mistakes as long as they own up to it and learn their lesson for next time. Patrick doesn't hit them or yell at them. They've grown up in a house of love and I'm finally getting to be a part of that. I think that's why I'm able to throw myself into the hard stuff and face it head on, because I have Xander beside me and the rest of the family behind me. They've been there to catch me every time."

"That's beautiful, Wright. I love the mindset that you have." Her eyes darted down while she wrote something and he waited patiently for her. It happened a few times in their sessions and he understood it. He had his own notebook where he wrote things down he needed to remember. Small things like birthdays and dates he needed but also directions and check lists to make sure he didn't miss anything while working. When she looked back up and met his eyes through the screen, she was still smiling. "Did you have anything else you wanted to talk about today before we get to the next part?"

"I think I'm good," Wright said. "I'm excited to work on this today. I think I'm finally ready."

"Really?" She sounded optimistic instead of concerned. Wright loved that about her. After his talk with Xander about letting him set his own pace for his progress, he'd been more open with communicating what he wanted. They talked about it more, constantly. Xander didn't feel comfortable with tying him up for fear that it would set him back or give him a bad memory of them together. He understood it and respected his feelings. It didn't mean they didn't do other things. Wright had gotten good at keeping his hands under the pillow or holding on to the headboard. Shower sex was still his favorite. Xander would pin his hands against the wall and not release them until he was done.

"Yeah," Wright nodded, tuning back into the conversation. "I'm good. We've been working toward it for weeks. I can handle the halters and leads with no problem now. And I know that we've talked about how it seems to be this specific kind of rope, with the roughness and color. I was talking to Patrick yesterday about the work I've been doing and he mentioned wanting me to start lessons on riding the horses. I just feel like I need to be totally okay with this before I start that journey. If that makes sense?"

"I don't know much about horses myself," she said. "But it sounds logical enough. Do you want to get Xander in and we can start?"

Half an hour later, Wright had his earbuds in and was listening to his therapist's voice as Xander wrapped the rope around his wrist for the first time. He'd held it in his palms, had it dragged across his shoulders in other sessions. Even had it wrapped around one arm, near his elbow. But now, he was being bound with it. The memories of the rope, his dad yelling at him, complaining that he was useless were fighting to break through the encouraging words his therapist and Xander were saying. He continued to breathe deep, in through the nose and out the mouth.

"Okay, Wright. Talk to me. How do you feel?" Wright opened his eyes and stared at Xander. He shook his head, his sign for Xander to pull out the earbuds so they could both hear his therapist. Wright couldn't bring himself to look at his wrists yet. Instead, he stared at Xander.

"You're doing amazing, gorgeous." Xander's smile was big. Genuine. "I'm so proud of you."

"Wright, remember, I need you to talk. Xander is great and all, but don't leave me feeling like a third wheel here."

Both he and Xander laughed at that and it relieved the tension in his shoulders. "It's strange," he finally said. "I mean, I'm here and I can feel the rope. These memories are trying to come back, but when I look at Xander, they go silent. It's like… I don't know. If I close my eyes, all I focus on is the rope. But with them open, I know that I'm safe. I know that it can't hurt me because Xander wouldn't hurt me."

"I see that you haven't looked down." Wright was kind of hoping that she wouldn't have noticed that, but she was a great therapist for a reason. "Can you do that or is it too much?"

"I can do it," Wright said. Xander continued to hold his eyes. His hands moved to rest on Wright's forearms. Out of habit, he looked down to see his hands on him. He let out a small chuckle, knowing Xander did that on purpose. Wright watched his fingers trail down his skin and glide right over the ropes around his wrists. It wasn't as scary as he thought. In fact, it was what he'd been asking Xander to do for weeks now. "Wow."

"Wow in a good way?" His therapist's voice took his attention away from the ropes. He turned his head to glance at her and nodded. His eyes went back to the ropes when Xander's thumb rubbed circles just above where it was looped around his skin. It wasn't tight. He could slip his hands out if needed. But he didn't need to. He was doing okay.

"Yeah," Wright said. He looked at Xander and smiled. He chanced twisting his wrists slightly, feeling the texture of the rope brush his skin. He was doing this. He was taking back that last bit of fear his father had instilled in him. "I'm good. It scratches, but it feels like the straw we put down for the horses."

"The straw is more annoying than these ropes once you start working with them," Xander supplied.

"I'll take your word on that, Xander." Wright curled his fingers and twisted one wrist to be able to run his palm over the rope on the other. Xander's hands were still on him. They were callused and warm, comforting. He loved the feeling of his fingers on his skin. "Wright, do you think you can take it off yourself? Don't push yourself, but I'd like to see if you can take it off and hold it. See that you'll never be forced to do this."

Wright did as she asked. Xander dropped his hands and let Wright work. He took a deep breath and slipped his first hand out of the loop. He held the rope in his hand, letting it sway gently between him and Xander. There was clapping and Wright looked up at Xander first and then to his laptop. Megan was clapping. He loved how encouraging she was in such a simple way. No one had clapped for him before for doing something. Not before he came here. Paxton liked to be dramatic and dance around when he did something. Xander would usually just kiss him. But Megan clapped. Wright loved it.

"I did it," Wright said with a smile that hurt his cheeks. He looked at Xander. "I did it."

"You did," Xander said. His hands rested on Wright's knees now. They were both sitting crisscross on the bed, facing each other. "I'm so proud of you, baby."

"We're going to end there," his therapist said. "Because I might live two states away, but even I can feel the tension in the room."

Wright opened his mouth to deny, but Xander's laugh filled the room. "She's not wrong. But I will let you finish talking, okay? I'm going to go change this rope out for something else."

It wasn't until Xander was out of the room and it was just him and his therapist that the words sank in. He sat up straighter and looked from the laptop to the bedroom door and back. Megan laughed this time. "Did it take you that long to get what he said?"

"Yeah, it did." Wright moved the laptop back where it was before Xander came in so it focused on just him.

"You're cute, Wright." Megan was closer to Patrick's age and sometimes it showed. She spent a couple more minutes talking about what she wanted for their next appointment and double checking that he was okay. He lifted up his wrists, taking turns to hold each in the opposite hand. There were no marks, no pain. He was good. They ended the session and Wright put his laptop away.

He couldn't see the barn from the bedroom window so he wasn't sure when Xander was coming back. But he wanted to be ready for whatever. He rushed to the bathroom and stripped out of his clothes. He'd taken a shower earlier, but this hadn't been in the plan for this evening. Xander had, as previously discussed, taken Wright on Wednesday, out of the blue. They'd barely made it to the couch before Wright was sitting on Xander's lap, back to front, spread out and being filled. The door to the hallway was open and he could smell the food. Xander must have pulled it out of the oven before walking outside.

"You took forever!" Wright's voice called out ten minutes later when he heard Xander walk inside again. He was lying on the bed already, naked and so ready. "I had enough time to go pee and clean up a bit before you got back."

Xander was laughing when he entered the bedroom. He held up two different colored ropes. They weren't the worn ones that they'd been using with the horses. "I had to dodge my brother and sister-in-law for this. They were sitting on the porch and asking what I was getting from the truck."

"I can only imagine how that conversation would have gone," Wright said. His laugh was cut off when Xander leaned down from the side of the bed and kissed him. Xander kissed him deeply and sweetly. It was everything he could want from a person in a single kiss. He swiped his tongue over Xander's bottom lip and then moaned when he started his favorite trail down the side of his neck. Before Wright realized, Xander was hovering over him.

"You know how proud I am of you?" Xander's beard scratched against Wright's skin when he nuzzled the crook of his neck and shoulder. His whole body shivered with need. "You're so strong. So amazing. So beautiful."

"Keep sweettalking and I might let you fuck me," Wright said jokingly. His hands brushed down the back of Xander's shirt, bunching up the hem to get it over his head.

"You just have a natural way with words," Xander said with a shake of his head. "Now, are you sure you are ready for this?"

Xander sat back on his heels and held up the blue rope. It was definitely new. The brown one was lying on the bed next to him. Inanimate, not hurting him. He smiled when he realized that there wasn't even an ounce of fear in his body or mind at the thought of what they were about to do.

Wright stretched his hands above his head and smiled. "So ready."

Xander shifted on the mattress to where his thighs were straddling Wright's chest. Before he could fully think through what he was doing, Wright moved his hands to Xander's thighs. He rubbed his hands up to the waistband, keeping eye contact with the older man the entire time. It was almost comical; Xander held his hands out with the rope hanging over Wright's head and stared down at him while Wright's fingers moved slowly. He grabbed the band and tugged both the shorts and briefs down.

"Oh fuck," Wright said. "If I thought you were big before, this angle is… Damn." Wright licked his lips. He couldn't pull the shorts and boxers down any more with Xander's legs spread like they were, but it was enough. He brushed his finger over the head and looked back up at Xander. "I'm so ready for all of this, Xander."

"Let me do this first," Xander said with a small chuckle, but Wright saw how his cock twitched at his words. Wright moved his arms back up over his head and Xander positioned both of them until they were diagonally in the bed. He couldn't decide if he wanted to watch Xander's face or his cock. Both were equally turning him on. He wouldn't be surprised if Xander moved and he had a puddle of cum on his skin already. "Wrap your fingers around the rope, gorgeous. You remember the safe word?"

"Cowboy," Wright said enthusiastically. Xander rolled his eyes but Wright laughed because he knew it annoyed him that he refused to change it. Wright liked riling Xander up. Just a little. It usually ended with them in a playful fight or the one time Wright was pinned against the wall of the supply room, his legs wrapped around Xander's waist. That had been a great day of work.

"Pull on the rope and make sure you're comfortable with it," Xander instructed. "I'm serious about this, Wright. I know we like to joke and have fun, but if at any point you are uncomfortable you need to tell me."

"I will," Wright said. He showed Xander that he was pulling on the rope. It was loose, like the last one during his therapy. He could easily slip out of it if he needed to. If he uncurled his fingers, his wrists would be free. He could tell in Xander's tone that he was still slightly hesitant about doing this and he didn't want to do anything to deter him. Wright knew he was ready for this. Knew that it was what he wanted.

Without warning, Xander rolled off of him completely. Wright turned his head to watch him. He finished pushing off his clothes and grabbed the lube out of the drawer, tossing it onto the bed. Wright's nerves started coursing through his body again when a thought popped into his head. "Xander?"

He turned his head to look at Wright, a strip of condoms in his hand. "What is it?" His voice was full of concern.

"It's nothing about this." Wright lifted his arms slightly to motion about the ropes. "I just- Would you be comfortable skipping the condom? You know I'm negative and I trust you."

"Same," Xander said. "I was checked before I moved back to the ranch. But are you sure?"

"Yes, please." Wright tugged on the rope around his hands and smiled. He watched Xander pick up the other rope. They were both only two feet at most, just enough to tie a limb or two together. He took a steadying breath, smiling to reassure Xander when he eyed him closely. He moved to the bottom of the bed and wrapped a hand around one of Wright's ankles.

"I'm going to tie one foot," Xander explained. "You're going to be able to move just enough to roll on your side, but only when I tell you to. Got it?"

"Yes," Wright said. He watched in amazement as Xander lifted his leg and bent slightly to kiss his ankle. Wright never thought he'd be a foot guy, but with Xander keeping eye contact as he kissed across the top of his foot and to the outer ankle, he could get into it. Only with his man, though. "Fuck, that's hot."

"I haven't done anything," Xander said incredulously. He lowered his foot back on the mattress and slipped the rope around it, crossing the ends underneath. There was no place to tie it to the footboard, but Wright watched the top of Xander's head as he bent his knees and secured it to something. Wright felt the slight tug and it was a moment of realization that he couldn't move his leg. It was tighter than the one around his hands, but still not too bad. "Are you good? Is that too tight?"

"No, it's fine." Wright continued to watch Xander. He stripped out of his shorts finally and all thoughts of not being able to move left his mind.

"I have one more question for you," Xander said as he walked back toward the bedside table. "Can I take a picture? Just for myself."

"That's fine," Wright said almost immediately. He watched Xander grab his phone and turn it on him. Wright wasn't sure what he looked like, but the way Xander's cock twitched gave him a good idea. To add to the photo, Wright closed his eyes and tilted his head back. He stretched his body out, arching his back. After his first picture, Wright discovered that Xander loved sending photos when they weren't together most of the day. Some were innocent, but others were a little more risqué. He loved them all equally. "I'd kind of like to see what I look like anyway."

"Fuck, baby. You're perfect, you know that?" There was a thud, like Xander had dropped his phone on the floor, and Wright opened his eyes. Xander climbed onto the mattress and covered Wright's body with his own. His hips pushed into Xander's and his cock twitched with the anticipation. Wright moved his body with him easily, both of them rutting against each other to chase whatever friction they could. It was a little awkward only being able to move one foot, but Wright made it work. "Shit, Wright. I love you so much."

"I love you too," he panted against Xander's lips. Xander kissed more of his skin and Wright definitely let out a whine. Out of frustration or horniness, he couldn't tell. He had all the good emotions running through his body. "I'm so ready for this. Please, Xander. I need this."

He may have been playing dirty, adding more moans and breaths to his words. He knew that Xander loved when he begged. And it worked. He kissed him again, his hands trailing up Wright's arms blindly. He took both of Wright's hands in one of his. With one final look to confirm he was okay with this, Xander turned his attention from Wright's face to the rest of his body.

He moved torturously slow, kissing parts of him but ignoring the one part that was already demanding attention. Xander's lips brushed lightly over his inner thighs and his whole body lit up. Wright let out a quick yelp when his teeth scraped against the sensitive skin, his tongue lathing over the mark and up the crease next to his groin. He flexed his toes of his tied-up leg, not able to move it away or toward him. Xander was giving him just enough to tease him, keep him on edge. The feeling was incredible but infuriating. His cock was leaking, hard and red. Ready for any sort of attention.

"Xander!" Wright shouted his name when he lightly scraped his teeth against his cock. He was playing a dangerous game with the most sensitive spot of his body. Xander lifted his head to see Wright pulling at the rope around his wrists and smirked. He darted his tongue out, pressing against his slit. Wright's body lurched at the touch and Xander chuckled.

"Next time-" Xander sat up on his knees. He was straddling Wright's legs, far enough away from his cock. Wright knew his face was showing how impatient he was, but there was no chance of him complaining. Xander would just drag the teasing out longer. Xander ran his fingers up his inner thigh where he'd left a fresh mark. "I think I want to tie your feet to the bed and your hands behind your back. Make you kneel, all spread out for me, your face in the mattress muffling any noises you make."

Wright let out a strangled noise. His cock jumped and Xander swiped his pointer finger over his head to collect the bead of precum. Wright's jaw hung open and he tried to shift his hips to relieve the growing pleasure in his body. Xander smeared his finger across his own bottom lip and then licked it off.

"This is frustrating," Wright said. He was so beyond turned on at the sight before him. Xander's cock was just as hard. He wanted it in him, on him. Whatever. He just wanted him. "I can't touch you."

"This is what you wanted, baby." Xander's hand trailed down his own chest. Wright watched as his fingers brushed the hair on his chest, traveled down to his groin. He wrapped a hand around himself and gave Wright a sight he'll never forget. Xander dropped his head back and stroked himself a few times, letting out a long moan while he worked himself over. "Have you had enough?"

"No," Wright lied. He'd had enough of the teasing. But he loved it as much as he hated it. He could probably come just from watching his man pleasure himself while he couldn't do anything. "But I won't object to you getting on with the main event."

Xander opened his eyes again and Wright smirked at him. He was trying to play it cool, but he wasn't sure if it was working. Xander grabbed the lube and then directed Wright to twist his body so he was lying on his side, facing away from Xander. Xander's hand trailed down his thigh and wrapped around the back of his knee. He rested it on Xander's leg. The next thing Wright knew, a slicked-up finger was pushing against his hole. Not pushing in, just a light tease. Wright tried to push his hips back, to give Xander the go ahead. Xander, in turn, tsk-ed him and rested his head against Wright's. Wright could feel his breath just under his ear. His words were just a whisper. A sultry, deep whisper that nearly had Wright orgasming before anything else could happen. "So needy, aren't you?"

"Only for you," Wright said honestly. "I can't get enough of you."

Xander kissed his jaw and then his neck and shoulder. Wright relaxed his whole body when Xander finally pressed into him. He started with one finger, then two. Within minutes, he was three fingers deep and rocking their bodies together. They were a chorus of moans and curses, the bed squeaking slightly with their combined movements.

"Ready?" Xander asked. Wright turned his head so he could see the man giving him everything he wanted. He nodded and then bit his bottom lip when Xander's cock slid into him. Bare. There was nothing between them as he rocked his hips again and again. "Fuck, gorgeous. You are perfect."

"You too," Wright panted. Xander pulled back, waited for a beat, and then pushed in deeper. Wright cried out, but not from pain.

Wright started to say something, but his words were cut off when Xander hit that wonderful bundle of nerves and he swore he was floating on a cloud. "Oh fuuuck, Xander. Yes, right there."

Xander repeated the same motion a few times. He was overstimulated in the best way. Xander's lips and hands were everywhere. He gripped Wright's jaw in his hand and turned his face so he could kiss him. It was messy and damn amazing. He pulled away after a few seconds and let his hand travel down Wright's front and wrap around his dick.

"So hard for me, gorgeous. Are you close?"

"Getting. There." Wright panted the words out. "Fuck, I love and hate not being able to touch you or move. Harder, please. Touch me."

"Demanding," Xander teased him. He quickened his thrusts. Wright was sweating. Xander squeezed his cock on an upstroke, twisted his wrist over his head, and back down. All the while his cock drove into him over and over.

"Yes! Oh god, please, Xander. Right there. Don't stop." Wright couldn't stop his words even if he wanted to. He couldn't move anything but his right leg, which was still mostly useless because of how good Xander was fucking him. All he could do was take it and enjoy it. Xander flicked his thumb over his slit and brushed his finger under the ridge of his head. He timed his strokes with his thrusts and it was sending Wright into a tailspin of pleasure. He closed his eyes and let the pleasure take over. "I'm coming! I'm- oh!"

They were moving together, bringing each other pleasure as they chased their orgasms. The room was hot, their skin sweaty, dirty. Xander rolled his hips over and over, the sounds of skin on skin mixing with Xander's grunts. He watched himself shoot his cum over the bed. He tightened his ass with each wave, knowing that it was something Xander loved feeling. His body continued to ripple with pleasure and Xander's thrusts faltered.

"Fuck, baby. Fuck, you're so tight. I'm going to come, gorgeous." Xander fucked into Wright's body a few more times before he pressed his whole body against him. They were the most connected they could ever be.

Wright swore he could feel Xander's cock throb inside him as he came. His mind was half out, though, and his whole body spent from his own orgasm. Xander's hand had let go of his cock and he was just holding him tight now, pressed tightly against him. There was nothing better in the world than that moment.