Chapter Fifteen

~ Xander ~

Can you come to the bedroom when you're done working?

And bring a piece of rope?

A small one.

Please?

Sorry for all the texts.

Xander wasn't sure what he was about to walk into, but the multiple texts and the apology at the end worried him. It was Friday afternoon and he knew that Wright had therapy. He was hoping to convince Wright to go out for a real date soon. Casual dinner and a movie, or something similar, but still a date. In public. With him. His friends had been hounding him to visit too. A few of them had come to visit for the July Fourth cookout, where they met Wright.

Outside of the family that showed up earlier in the day, they kept their relationship to themselves. He'd known his friends for a long time and knew they would try too hard to include Wright with jokes. Xander wasn't sure if Wright was up for that yet. He kind of wished Wright would make some friends too. Maybe he could convince William, Clark, and Paxton to take him out for a night with people his age. As much as he wanted to keep him home and safe, he was barely twenty and needed a chance to act like it for once. He didn't want him to have any regrets.

"Wright?" Xander kicked off his shoes and locked the door behind him. He kept the small rope in his hand. It was a dark blue color and soft. They used it for the horses a lot of times to walk them around. It was the complete opposite of anything rough, like the one Wright had bad experiences with. He shoved it in his pocket, wanting to keep it out of sight until he knew what was going on.

"In the bedroom," he called out. Xander opened the door to see Wright sitting cross-legged on the bed with his back to the headboard. The laptop was sitting on the bed in front of him. Xander could hear a woman's voice talking but the smile on Wright's face took all of his attention. He patted the bed next to him. "Do you have a minute to sit down and talk? I'm with my therapist, but she wanted to talk to both of us about something."

"Of course," Xander said quickly. "Can I change really quick? I don't want to get the bed dirty."

Wright opened his mouth, probably to say something dirty, but closed it quickly when he remembered they had an audience. "Yeah, that's fine. We're just getting started anyway. I'm going to put my ear buds in so just come back when you're ready. Did you bring the thing?"

"I did," Xander said. He grabbed a fresh shirt and pair of black sweats from the dresser and walked to the bathroom. "I'll be right back. I'm going to shower too."

"Sounds good," Wright said with another smile. Xander was happy to see it. So far, in all his appointments, he'd ended them with red rimmed eyes. This seemed like a step in the right direction. "Okay, sorry. I'm back."

Xander made quick work of the shower, only giving himself a minute to let the hot water massage his muscles. He'd gone out to check on the cattle and ended up working with two other guys to get one of the younger ones out of the fence. There was a lot of sweating and cursing all around.

He towel dried his hair as much as he could and hit it with a brush before walking back into the bedroom. Wright was watching the screen, nodding slightly, when he joined him on the bed. Seeing them side-by-side in the little box at the corner of the screen made Xander realize just how different they were. Wright was small naturally, but he looked tiny in his hoodie next to Xander. It didn't help that he liked his hoodies slightly bigger. AKA, Xander's hoodies. Xander's clothes in general.

Wright took out his ear buds and the room was filled with the therapist's voice. She had red hair with nearly white roots but didn't look any older than himself. Her eyes were kind, same with the smile she wore. He could only see from her shoulders up. "Thank you for joining us today, Alexander."

"Just Xander, please ma'am. It's a pleasure to meet you." Wright snickered next to him low enough he wasn't sure his therapist could hear it.

"Such a gentleman," she said, sitting back to put her hand over her heart. Her southern accent was different from what he was used to in Texas. She sounded more like she was from Alabama. "I can see why you keep him around, Wright. Before I get to forgettin' I have a husband at home, Wright and I wanted to talk to you about something, Xander."

"I'm all ears," Xander said. He was half lying down, resting on his elbow on Wright's left side. His head was pressed against his arm as he listened to the therapist. He couldn't recall if Wright had ever told him her name. In his head, he called her Sunshine. She just had that energy.

"With Wright's permission, I wanted to share a few things…" Xander listened intently as she recounted several instances where Wright had been abused at the hands of his father. Most of them involved a rope somehow. He looked from the screen to Wright's wrists when she mentioned a particular time he'd been tied up so tight that it left a permanent scar just below his thumb on his right hand. It wasn't a large one and he hadn't noticed it before now. "He brought up something in our last session that I think would be beneficial for him. To at least try. We won't force this and if it doesn't work today, I'm going to pull the plug on it entirely until I think he's ready." Xander nodded. While she gave off a Sunshine character vibe, she was all business right now. "Do you have what he asked you to bring?"

Xander nodded and rolled to reach over the side of the bed. He'd brought it out with him and had subtly dropped it before Wright could see. Now, he picked it up and laid it on the bed in front of them. He could hear Wright's sharp intake of breath and almost picked it back up, but he stopped him. "No, it's okay. Please, just leave it there for now."

"That's good, Wright." The therapist nodded through the screen, but she couldn't feel the strength behind Wright's grip. It was surprising. "Wright brought up what we call exposure therapy. It's not as cut and dry as surrounding yourself with something to get over being afraid of the thing, like some people think. There's a process to it and today will be step one. He's explained to me that living on the ranch, he's going to come across them often if he works with the animals. His hope is that he can be comfortable around them without freezing up or having the scary thoughts coming to mind.

"This is how you come into play, Xander. Wright trusts you." Those words hit Xander right in the heart. He looked at Wright and smiled, turning his head to kiss his arm. Wright smiled back and nodded, silently agreeing with her. "Since our sessions are done online, I can't physically be there with him and having someone he trusts during this process is key. I need you to understand that."

"Yes, Ma'am." Xander sat up a little more, adjusting the laptop so they stayed in the frame. He wrapped his arm behind Wright's waist and held him close. He could see where this was going now. "I'll do whatever to help him. He knows that."

"Good, good." She nodded and seemed to be jotting something down. When she looked back up, her smile was still there but she was also business again. "Like I said, today we're going to start small. I would like to see Wright holding the rope. But Wright, like we discussed last time and earlier, I do not want you to push yourself okay? If you can't do it, you need to tell both of us, okay?"

"Yes." Wright nodded and wiped his hands on his pants. He straightened his back and nodded, visibly steeling himself for what he was about to do.

"Remind yourself as many times as you need that you are safe and this is to help you take back control over a part of your life." She was good. It was all the things that Xander told Wright time and time again. "Now, Xander, could you adjust the laptop so I can see both of you fully and pick up the rope?"

Xander did as she asked. It was only a few feet long and he held one end in either hand. The middle part sat on the bed between them. "Wright, how are you feeling seeing it? Remember, I need constant thoughts from you in order for this to work."

"It's scary, but not as bad. It's a dark blue and looks new."

"We just got them a couple months ago," Xander supplied helplessly.

"Wright, do you think you could reach out and grab it? Xander, don't let go of it okay?" Xander nodded but moved his hand slightly so Wright could easily grab it. It took several long seconds, no one spoke. Xander looked at Wright's face. He was laser focused on the rope, his hand stuck in the air between his lap and the rope. His tongue swiped over his bottom lip.

"You don't have to do this," Xander said softly. "But just remember I'm right here. I'm the one holding it and you know I'll never hurt you, gorgeous. Give me the word and I'll throw it as far as I can out the window."

A crack of a smile gave Xander a bit of relief. Wright turned his head to the laptop. He focused on his therapist while his hand inched closer until his fingertips grazed the material. Xander did his best not to move it. After a few seconds, his fingers curled around it and he held it loosely in his grip.

"That's good, Wright." His therapist jotted something else down and then continued. "Do you think you could hold it on your own?"

Wright's body froze and he turned a terrified expression to Xander. "I'm- I'm not ready for that. Please don't let go."

"I won't," Xander said quickly. "You're doing so good, though. You've got this. I'll hold on as long as you need me to."

"Listen to him, Wright. He's right there with you. If you need to, move your hand so it's closer to his. Hold the rope tighter. You have all the control here. It's just yarn and… I actually don't know what's inside a rope. Xander?"

"This is a braided nylon," he explained. "It's the most common type of rope we have around the barn. It's a synthetic material."

"Keep talking," Wright mumbled. His hand tightened around the rope. Xander smiled at him.

"I use this one with Benito." He looked from Wright to the laptop. "That's my horse. I use him for work. Do you see this one end and how it's a bit frayed? Benito decided I was taking too long for his snacks while we were out for the day that he grabbed it and started chewing. Imagine playing tug-of-war with a horse his size. Patrick wouldn't let me live it down for days."

Wright took a deep breath and reached his other hand out so he was mirroring the way Xander was holding it. The sides of their hands were touching. Xander held it firmly, but Wright's knuckles were white and he was sure his fingernails were digging into his palms. He wasn't smiling and his breathing was deep, but he seemed fine otherwise. Xander forgot about the laptop for a moment. "Do you want me to let go?"

"No. Not yet." He shifted his fingers, feeling the material against his skin. "Can you keep going? Just a story or something."

"You're doing great, Wright." Sunshine said. He really needed to get her name before they said goodbye. "You're already doing more than I was imagining for today. I want you to talk, tell me what's going through your head."

"It's not the same as what's in my head so I think that helps." Wright swallowed and Xander nodded. They did have that rope, but they could work up to it. He was so proud of Wright right now. "It's like a ghost effect, though. Like the leg thing with people that lose them but think it's still there? It's like I can feel it wrapped around my wrists and ankles the longer I look at it."

Xander fought himself not to react. He still held the rope at either end, but Wright was now slowly running his hands back and forth, letting the material slide through his palms. He repeated it several times before he spoke again.

"I know it isn't going to hurt me," Wright said like a mantra to himself. His eyes flicked up to Xander. "And I know you wouldn't hurt me. No one here would. It has no control over me."

"Yes, Wright. Great job." Sunshine was full on smiling now. Xander was so, so proud of him. There would be many, many rewards coming his way. "I want to stop there today. I don't want you to push yourself, okay. Take the weekend to relax and we'll work more on Monday. I know that Xander, you can't join us on Mondays, but I would like Wright to continue working on this. If at any point during the week, Wright wants to try again, I just ask that you record the session. Just like this, so I can watch it back. Wright, that means I need to hear all of your thoughts if I'm not present, okay? And Xander, I'm trusting my patient with you. Don't let him do more than he should. Any big moves, I want to be present for."

Wright dropped the rope and nodded. Xander slipped off the bed and motioned that he was going to let him finish up his session. He only had a few minutes left of the hour. He walked back outside with a smile, looking down at the rope as he walked back to the barn to replace it. Paxton and Victor were working on mucking the stalls. They all took turns doing it and since he had this thing with Wright, it was their night. He had tomorrow's shifts.

"I can't tell if that smell is from the horses or you," Xander said as he passed Victor. "Do you ever shower, dude?"

"He slipped in one of the piles," Paxton laughed out. "I told him those shoes weren't good."

Xander looked down at the shoes and shook his head. "Why are you wearing your good shoes out here? Your mom is going to muck you when she finds out."

"I don't know what that is supposed to mean," he said back. He was going into the ninth grade next year and still his innocent, sweet nephew. He looked up at Xander, head slightly tilted, like he was waiting for an explanation. Xander ruffled his hair and continued toward the tack room.

"How was it?" Paxton asked, following him. "Wright told me about it yesterday when he got the laptop from me. From the way you were smiling, I assume a good start?"

"Yeah," Xander said. "His therapist said it was better than what she hoped for. She still wants to take it slow, though. And asked that we record anything we do during the week with it."

"Sounds kinky," Paxton said.

"No. You are too young to even know what that word means. I don't want to hear it." Xander opened the tack room while she laughed behind him and got back to work. He did a quick scan to make sure everything was in its place and then shut the door. "I think I'm going to take him into the city tomorrow to get him his own laptop so you can have yours back."

"I don't mind sharing," she said with a grunt as she worked. The weather was still hot out, the sun at least two hours away from setting. "I'm just glad he's working through it in a healthy way and that he has someone that cares about him standing beside him."

Wright was walking out of the bathroom when Xander came back inside. He smiled and closed the distance quickly. Xander held out his arms and laughed when Wright all but jumped into them, wrapping his legs around his waist. "I did it."

"You did it," Xander repeated. "I'm so proud of you."

"I'm proud of me too," Wright said. He wrapped his arms around Xander's neck and hugged him tight. Xander started toward the bedroom, his hands firmly on Wright's ass. "What are you doing?"

"Showing you how proud I am of you," Xander replied easily. "We have about forty minutes before supper is ready."

Wright started kissing across his face, down his jaw and neck. "How ever will we pass the time?"

"I have a few ideas," Xander whispered in his ear. Wright moaned when Xander squeezed his ass. Thankfully, the bedroom door was still open. "Only if you're up for it, though. You just did a lot there."

"So up for it," Wright said. He rocked his hips, still in Xander's arms. Xander laid him on his back and slowly extricated himself from Wright's limbs. Wright's eyes looked him over as he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it somewhere on the floor. "God, you're so hot."

"Flattery will get you everywhere, gorgeous." Xander pushed his shorts and boxers down in one move. He ran his hand down his chest, stomach, and wrapped his fingers around his dick. He knew Wright liked the hair on his chest, often ran his hands over it as he fell asleep. His cock was surrounded by a decent patch, trimmed and taken care of but still thick. Wright was all hairless, a light patch on his groin only as thick as the hair on his legs. They'd mostly taken showers together, but Xander wondered it if was natural or something he kept up. He didn't care either way. "I'm not going to be the only one naked, baby. Strip down."

It was almost comical how fast Wright moved after that. In a matter of seconds, his clothes were laying haphazardly on the floor with Xander's. He was lying on his back in the middle of the mattress, his head propped up on the pillow. His body stretched out before him, Xander couldn't help but stare at the expanse of skin. He had to touch him. Now.

"What do you want today?" Xander asked. He sank down to the mattress, lying on his side next to Wright. They moved together, pressing their bodies close so not even a sheet of paper could pass between them. He couldn't resist kissing him deeply, seeking entrance into his mouth to taste him. Wright sucked his bottom lip before licking into his mouth again. He may not have a lot of experience, but the man knew how to kiss, that was for sure. Xander's mind was starting to go blank as the ache in his growing erection intensified. Wright seemed to be in the same boat and he rutted against Xander's body.

"I need you in me," Wright said. "I don't care which hole."

"That's the hottest fucking thing." Xander meant for the words to be a thought, but it was too late to take it back. His cock twitched at the thought of being inside Wright again. It'd only been a few days since they fucked a second time. He wanted to make sure he didn't go too hard too soon on him.

Wright rolled onto him and ground his hips into Xander's. "It'll be even hotter when I'm riding you. You can use those thigh muscles to wreck into me again and again."

"Baby," Xander groaned out. While Wright was still going through a lot and they'd just hit a milestone not half an hour ago, it seemed that he was the most calm and open during their intimate times. From the beginning, he'd pushed Xander's buttons, joked about it. Pushed not really the right word. Gently persuaded. Because if Xander looked back now, he could laugh at his past self for thinking he had any self-control when it came to the young man. He loved every moment spent with Wright.

"Don't," Wright said quickly. He pulled back just a little and stared down at Xander. "Don't go easy on me. I'll let you know if I need you to stop, okay? I'm going to grab the lube and a condom and I want you to get me ready to take that monster cock of yours."

"You are too good for my ego, Wright." Xander moved his head to follow Wright's movements. His body stretched, ridges and dips of his ribs on full display. He gained a few pounds since coming to the ranch. He hadn't been skin and bones, but he could tell that having someone else cook for him for a change was doing good for him. Xander ran his hands over Wright's body as he moved back to straddle Xander's body. His legs were spread wide, his knees on either side of Xander's hips. The difference in their sizes was still baffling to him. He had no idea what Wright saw in him, but he was damn happy with it. "Kiss me. I need my lips on you, baby."

"Fingers, ass, kiss." Wright barely got the words out before his lips were on Xander's. He got the message though; he wanted Xander to open him up while they kissed. It was hard to concentrate enough to blindly pour the lube on his hand and it got a bit messy, sure that a few drops fell to Wright's back.

He swiped his tongue against Wright's while his finger teased around his rim. He was tight, but his hole sucked his finger in greedily. Wright started moving his hips back and forth immediately. He broke the kiss and laid his palms flat on Xander's chest, pushing himself up so Xander had a clear view of his torso and the tip of his cock. He added a second finger and watched as Wright's face twisted, his mouth hung open. If he wasn't muttering a soft string of curses and requests for more, Xander would have been concerned.

"Fuck," Xander muttered. He wasn't subtle as he bucked his hips to get Wright to move just a bit and he grabbed his own dick, squeezing the base to keep himself from coming at the sight alone. Wright looked down at him with a knowing smirk. Xander was breathing hard and he didn't dare to let go of himself until he was sure he could get through the rest of prepping him without finishing. "You are a damn wet dream, Wright."

"Did you almost come just from watching me?"

"Knowing that it was my fingers in your ass that had you looking so blissed out, yeah."

"Can't be having that," Wright said with a smirk. "Here, maybe this will help."

Xander was at a loss for words when Wright changed the direction he was facing. He was on his hands and knees, his ass resting on Xander's chest now. He wiggled his hips. "Shit. This is not helping."

"Then get a move on," Wright said. He almost sounded annoyed that Xander wasn't touching him. If Xander had any self-control, he'd drag it out. But not today. He tried to regain some composure and grabbed Wright's hips, pushing him to the side and moving to cover his back with his body. Wright went willingly, albeit with a small squeal from the movement, lying on his stomach, trapped between the mattress and Xander. The room filled with carefree giggles and Xander knew he was in love with him. "Not what I had in mind."

"You're a little tease, gorgeous." Xander's hand trailed down his side and found his hole. From his mishap earlier, there was still plenty of lube. He pushed his finger in all the way and smiled when Wright moaned and bit his bottom lip. "Can't talk now, huh?"

Xander added a second finger, eyes fluttering at how tight he was. He curled his fingers and found Wright's prostate, smiling to himself and kissing the back of Wright's neck when he cried out with pleasure. He pumped his fingers in and out, increasing the speed, sometimes hitting his prostate and sometimes intentionally missing it. Wright was panting below him, his hands were gripping the blanket at the foot of the bed.

"Not so tough now, are you?" Xander meant it as a joke, but he felt the way Wright's body tensed. And not in an orgasm-about-to-hit kind of way.

"No. Don't- Fuck, please don't say that again. Not like this."

Xander didn't have to ask any follow up questions about what he meant. It must have been something his dad said once. He didn't want to ruin the moment, to have him think of anything but Xander and this moment. He pulled his fingers out and turned him to his back. He loved how easy Wright let him control his body, manipulate him into whatever position he wanted. Xander's feet were under the pillow as he buried his face against Wright's groin. He licked, sucked on his thighs, nipped at his hip.