Chapter Fourteen

~ Wright ~

Wright woke up the next morning and stretched his body, groaning at the soreness of everything. He smiled and welcomed it because it meant that last night hadn't been just the best dream in the world. He was still naked, too. And so was Xander, if the bulge against him was anything to go by. He turned around in Xander's arms to see he was fast asleep. Wright couldn't wrap his head around the fact that this man, with a whole life he lived before, chose him. He had nothing to his name, nothing real that he could offer him. But he still chose him. He'd never been chosen before.

"Good morning," Xander half grumbled when his eyes fluttered open. The room was still dark but Wright was only inches away from his face and could see his blue eyes clearly. He smiled and shifted forward to kiss him, morning breath be damned. "Hmm. Great morning."

"It's still early," Wright whispered. He laid his head back on the pillow and they stayed like that, looking at each other.

"I'll need to get up soon and start helping Patrick with setting up." Xander brushed his fingers through Wright's hair and smiled at him. Wright's breath caught in his throat. He couldn't believe how amazing his life was now.

"How long is soon?" Wright asked. He pressed his body to Xander's. With their heads being even on the pillow, Xander's cock was pressed between his thighs and his own was pressed against Xander's stomach.

"No, baby. I would love to, but we have so much to do today and I already went harder than I planned last night. Not to mention someone demanded a third round before he'd go to sleep."

Wright pouted, sticking his bottom lip out dramatically. Xander rolled his eyes and turned onto his back, breaking the contact between them. "I didn't think you went too far. I think it was the perfect amount of farness."

Xander held his arm out, intending for Wright to cuddle up to him, but instead he moved to plop himself down on top of him, crossing his arms over his chest and resting his chin on his hands. Their legs tangled together and Wright brushed his toes against Xander's shin. The room was warm enough that the blanket pooling at their waists wasn't an issue. Xander's hands rubbed circles over his skin, the back of his shoulders, his spine, his ass.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," Xander said. "How are you feeling?"

"Amazing," Wright said honestly. "For a second, when I woke up, I was worried that everything was just a really good dream and I was going to wake up and none of it had happened."

"Hmm." Xander's fingers found the sensitive spot above his hips and tickled him. "Does this feel like you're dreaming?"

Wright shouted and laughed, started wiggling to get away from Xander. But he had a sure grip on him and soon enough, he was laughing so hard he could barely breathe. Xander gave him a break after a few seconds and Wright rolled off him onto his back and panted, catching his breath. "That wasn't fair."

Xander's face appeared in his eyesight and he tried to glare at him, but the smile diminished any mean look. It was Xander's turn to laugh. "I don't know how you manage to look both fucking adorable and insanely hot at the same time, but I love it."

Wright's eyes widened just slightly at the use of that word. He said it, but Wright's brain wasn't distinguishing the difference. He didn't hear that word a lot growing up. As much as he didn't want to be that guy that mistook what someone said, he couldn't help it. He couldn't trust himself to say anything and the silence between them grew. Started to get awkward.

"What's wrong?" Xander asked. He sat up, letting the blanket finally fall to the floor. Wright sat up too, not wanting Xander to move too far and hoping he didn't ruin the moment by acting weird.

"Nothing," Wright said too quickly. "I just- It's stupid."

"Tell me, gorgeous." Xander pulled Wright onto his lap. It was one of his favorite places on earth. He didn't understand why just being close to Xander calmed him so much.

Wright stared at his hands in his lap. Xander's arms were around him, holding him close to his body. He didn't seem to care that they were naked. He saw Wright react to something he said and his first instinct was to comfort. One of the many things Wright liked about him. Did he love it about him? Love was such a strong word, something his therapist told him that he didn't get enough of growing up. They were working through those feelings. Xander may or may not come up often when he got to talking.

"I just…" Wright took a deep breath and laid his hand on Xander's forearm. "I'm not used to hearing that word. Love. I know you didn't mean it as you love me, but just in general. I'm sorry if I made it weird."

"It's okay," Xander said. "There are a lot of things I love about you, Wright. You're happy, you see the good in people even after you've been dealt a terrible hand, you're funny, your laugh is contagious, you work hard, your body is amazing. I could go on and on if you want."

"No, I'm good." Wright tilted his head back and smiled up at Xander. "I love things about you too. Like how amazing you are, how gentle you were with me while I was healing, how much you love your family."

Xander kissed him, their lips pressing together without any intent to deepen it. He rested his head against Wright's and exhaled. "We'll keep that list growing, gorgeous. Until there's nothing else to add to it."

They stood up then and walked toward the shower. Wright winced slightly when he had to actually move. He heard Xander snicker under his breath and pushed his shoulder as they entered the bathroom. "What was that for? You're the one that said it wasn't too much."

"It wasn't," Wright said. "Doesn't mean you have to laugh at me walking."

"Doesn't it, though?" Xander turned the water on and slid the door back to let it warm up. He crowded Wright against the counter and smiled at him. "Would it ruin the moment for me to add your ass to the list of things I love about you?"

Wright's mind was floating when they left the guest house and trekked to the main one. He could hear the horses and saw Patrick opening the barn door. Xander gave him a quick kiss before walking off to help him. It had taken Wright over a week to feel comfortable enough to just walk into the house without knocking. Outside of when everyone was asleep, the front door was always unlocked. Tracy stood in the kitchen, leaning against the island. She had her favorite blue robe on, the one with little daffodils embroidered on it. Her graying hair was up in a bun. She looked tired, but she smiled brightly when Wright walked in.

"Good morning, dear. You're up early."

"Xander said he had a lot to do today to help get ready, so figured I'd get up and offer myself as well."

"I think the boys have it covered. They have a system when it comes to setting up for family events." She took a long sip of her steaming coffee before continuing. Wright wasn't much of a coffee drinker, but it was going to be a long day so he helped himself to a small cup. "Paxton could use your help, if you wanted. She's making these little hat holder things for her aunt and uncle since she missed both of their birthdays with finals and everything. She's already up and out on the side porch if you wanted to join her. I think she's got one of the kids from the FFR houses with her so beware."

"The baby or the toddler? It should be illegal for toddlers to get up this early."

Tracy laughed and finished off her cup. "It's the baby. Poor thing was up half the night, first time being away from her moms and all, but they really needed a break and Paxton is saving up some money for the trip her and a few friends are taking before school starts."

Wright loved children. When he was off school and his dad was at work, he'd spend some time on their porch watching families play in the yards or the kids riding down the street on bikes. He'd never owned a bike, never learned how to ride one. It didn't look hard, but he'd seen a few wipeouts and scraped knees. He was older than the kids and didn't feel right going to ask them if he could try. He liked the idea of happy families, though. Seeing the kids laughing and playing gave him hope.

‘I'll head out there once I finish this," Wright said. "Other than a crying baby, how was your night?"

"It was okay," Tracy said. "I prepped a lot of the food for today last night when Patrick got back from the butcher. Oh, speaking of- how did your date with Xander go last night? He said he was going to make you dinner."

Wright could feel his cheeks heat at the mention of last night. Tracy was watching him, waiting for an answer. She didn't sound like she was prying, just genuine curiosity. He lifted his cup to his mouth and mumbled, "It was good."

"I'm going to pretend like that answer was about the food." Tracy laughed while she rinsed her cup out and set it aside to dry. "I'm glad you're settling in well here, though. You're going to meet a lot of the family today."

Wright was happy for the subject change. "I'm grateful for everything all of you have done. I can't wait to meet everyone if they're half as nice as y'all."

"Just watch out for Palma." Tracy mirrored his stance against the kitchen counter. He was almost done with his coffee and thought about a second cup, but also wanted to go hang out with Paxton. He needed to return her laptop too. "She's my mama and she will ask you a hundred questions. We've already given the heads up for everyone to keep their questions to a minimum, but if any of them get wind about you and Alexander, it'll be game over. Her and Mama Lawson were a force to be reckoned with back when we were younger."

"Good to know," Wright said. He'd been focused on the fact that he was meeting more of the kind and loving family that the Lawson's came from that it hadn't crossed his mind they might ask him about his own family and past. He glanced down at the floor, thoughts racing through his head.

"What is it?" Tracy's voice was calm and gentle. Wright looked up, trying to blink away the tears that seemed to show up unwanted way too often. He'd always been able to control his tears around his father. "Oh, honey. It's okay. Come here."

Tracy wrapped him in her arms. He couldn't stop the floodgates. Wright couldn't remember the last time he'd been hugged by a mom. Not even his own. Maybe a short, one armed hug after a day of work or something, but nothing comforting like this. Wright buried his face in her shoulder. She wasn't as tall as Xander or Patrick, but still had a few inches on him. He hugged her tightly. She brushed a hand through his hair and used her other to hold him just as tight across his shoulders. "It's okay, honey. I'm sorry if I brought up bad memories. Just remember you're here now and you're safe with us. You're our family and we love you."

Love.

It was the second time that morning he'd heard the word. The tears came harder. He clung to Tracy and she continued to hold him. He didn't know how to respond to that. He loved this family too. When he finally pulled away, Wright could see tears in Tracy's eyes. She cupped his face in her hands and swiped at the tears on his cheeks. "Honey, it's all going to be okay. Just give it some time. You've already come so far and we aren't going to leave you now, okay? How about you go upstairs and take a minute in the bathroom. I'll let Paxton know you'll join her."

"Thank you," Wright mumbled. He couldn't find his voice to say it any louder. He did as she suggested and splashed water on his face before walking back downstairs. Being in the house already felt natural. The living room had an entrance both in the hallway by the stairs and from the dining room. He found Paxton sitting on the porch, the baby quiet in the car seat. She was rocking her with her foot.

"She just fell asleep again so please be quiet." Paxton's voice sounded tired, but she didn't look it. With her blonde hair and blue eyes, Wright assumed she was popular. Her eyes were grayer than Xander's, but still had specks of that clear sky color. He sat in the seat next to her, the same one he'd sat in when he and William were talking that first full day he was here. "How was your date last night?"

"I already fell into that trap with your mom," Wright said. "And I'm not spilling details about your uncle."

"Oh please," Paxton said and rolled her eyes. "It's not like he didn't spill the beans to us. Cooking you dinner and renting that movie you were talking about the other day."

"He rented a movie?" Wright asked the question before he could think it through. Paxton slapped a hand over her own mouth, eyes wide. Wright's cheeks, once again, went hot.

"Oh my gosh! Spill the details!" She was whisper-shouting and if Wright wasn't wishing for a meteor to hit the ground right now, he'd find it amusing. "I mean, not like all of them because that's my uncle and I'm not actually into picturing him without clothes. Was it good, at least?"

Wright picked his feet up and wrapped his arms around his legs. He wanted to talk about it. Not about the details, as Paxton said, but just in general. He never thought he'd have a life like this and outside of his therapist, he didn't have anyone to talk to about things. It wasn't like he could talk to Xander about himself. And Paxton was closest to his age, so maybe he could lean on her for support. Maybe he could reach out to William or Brett. With them being in relationships with other men, maybe they could give him advice. His therapist told him he needed to make some friends. Or try at least.

"It was good," Wright said. He swallowed and closed his eyes. "It was my first time."

"Wait, really? Oh god. Why do you have to tell me this when the baby is sleeping and I can't be excited?" Wright opened his eyes to look at Paxton. She was smiling and his earlier thoughts about her being tired vanished. "My first time was awkward as hell. I guess you skipped over the awkward stage with someone that has experience."

Wright let flashes of last night fill his mind. The way Xander took control, directed him, moved his body. It was better than any porn he'd watched. The books Xander read were a close second, but his first time had been everything he could hope for. He was getting sappy about it.

"My first real boyfriend was in ninth grade. We didn't date for long and didn't go very far, but he was my first kiss. It was literally in a janitor's closet at school."

"Seriously? I thought that only happened in books and movies." Wright twisted his fingers together but smiled. The conversation was light. He needed that right now. "Did one of you step in the mop bucket?" Wright had watched a movie where that happened one day when he was on Xander's rules of not doing anything.

"He had to go to the office and call his mom to bring him new shoes. I don't know if he actually told the office lady why, but he refused to kiss me at school again. My first kiss with a girl, now. That was something I'll remember for a long while."

Wright remembered William saying something about her being bi. The first two weeks he was here, she was still in school and after that, he'd spent a lot of time with Tracy or Xander. Most of their conversations happened over the family meals. They definitely didn't talk about this kind of thing while eating.

"I'm assuming it was good?" Wright shifted his foot and took over rocking the baby for her. She reached down and grabbed something on her other side, but Wright continued watching the sleeping baby. She was only a couple months old.

"It was at a party. We were playing that game where you spin the bottle and then go into a closet with the person and make out. Most people pretend, but I'd had a crush on the girl for a while and took my chance. We both scored to second base in that little room."

"And second base is…?" Wright was vaguely familiar with the game. He'd read it in one of the books, but the bases he didn't understand.

"Oh, my sweet innocent child. Allow me to corrupt you." Wright smiled and glanced over at her. She had something in her hands and was moving it in some type of pattern. She rested her hands in her lap and looked at him. "First base is kissing. Second is touching the intimate areas. Third is going down on someone. And fourth is what you did last night."

She said that last part pointedly and Wright shook his head. "By that logic, we got to second base the second week of me being here."

"What? No way. Damn. You're getting more action than me right now. You need to teach me your ways of scoring an older person."

Wright scrunched his whole face with the image that popped into his mind. "I totally just pictured you with some eighty-year-old man, all wrinkled and stuff."

"Now you're just being mean." Wright looked from the baby to Paxton and smiled. His smile faded quickly when he realized what was in her hand. "What's that look for?"

"Nothing." Wright looked back to the baby and tried to control his breathing. His therapist had given him a few breathing techniques when triggers came up. He breathed in, counted to five, and then let the air out through his mouth. He repeated it a few times but couldn't bring himself to look back at Paxton while she held it.

"Hey, what's going on?" Paxton's voice was softer. She resembled her mom in that way. "Do you need me to call Xander?"

"No, I'm okay. Just- Could you put that away?" He blindly pointed toward her, waving his finger toward where he thought her lap was. He focused all of his attention on watching the baby's chest rising and falling with her peaceful breaths. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He could see Paxton's shadow moving next to him, but he didn't look up for another couple of long and slow breaths. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know if you have the time or the degree to talk about it," Wright said dryly. He let Paxton take over the baby rocking and he brought his knees up to his chest once again. "I'm sorry, that was rude." He dropped his head to the back of the metal chair. "I just- Rope is apparently a trigger for me. My therapist explained it to me, but I don't know. It happened Monday too, when I walked into the tack room with Xander. I just froze."

"I can see how the tack room can be overwhelming," Paxton said. She mirrored Wright's posture and rested the side of her face on her knees to look at him. "I'm not going to pry into your past, but if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. We all are, but I know sometimes talking to Mom or Dad can seem a bit intimidating. And I doubt you want to talk to my little brother because he's very annoying and one time, I swear he intentionally puked in my shoes because he was jealous that I was going to a party and he couldn't go. In. My. Shoes. Wright. Mom made him use his allowance money to buy me a new pair."

Wright laughed and cringed at the same time. "I don't know if that makes me feel like I was lucky or missed out on having siblings." A small voice in the back of his brain told him that maybe if he had siblings, he wouldn't have been abused. But then, maybe his younger siblings would have been hit too and he didn't want to think about that hypothetical situation.

"It's a mix," Paxton continued. "There are times when he's actually nice to me. There was one time in middle school when I was really sick. He was still in elementary school and he asked his teacher if the whole class could sign a get well soon card for me. I'm pretty sure his teacher thought I was dying or something, but it was sweet all the same. Mom still has it tucked away somewhere."

Paxton continued to share stories of her and her family. He recognized a few as something Xander had already told him, but from her perspective. He laughed at the differences in the stories. Paxton tended to exaggerate, where Xander left out some of the smaller details that made the story better.

"See, Xander told me that one," Wright said after she finished talking about a time when he caught her sneaking out. She'd been staying in the city overnight with him. "He told me that you tried to convince him that you were sleepwalking. Sleep-arguing, I think he said, because you kept responding to him, but didn't move from the spot he caught you by the front door."

"I wasn't always smart," Paxton said. Wright laughed. A genuine one. He winced when the baby shifted in the car seat, but she didn't wake up. The sun was getting higher in the sky now and he figured they'd been sitting there talking for over an hour. His stomach rumbling reminded him he hadn't had breakfast yet. Paxton must have heard it because she stood and stretched. "We should go raid the kitchen and see what's available. We don't usually make any food on cookout days. It's a fend-for-yourself type of thing."

"My specialty," Wright said. He didn't really mean anything by it, but he saw Paxton pause at the words. He turned around and looked at her apologetically. "I'm sorry. That just kind of slipped out. Xander says I have a twisted sense of humor."

"That's the best kind of humor, but can I say one thing while we're still alone?" She waited until Wright nodded hesitantly. He trusted the Lawson family and after their talk, he knew that Paxton wasn't going to be rude or mean with whatever she said. "I say this as someone that had a therapist for three years during high school. I wasn't always the best person and going through figuring out who I was affected me a lot. I say all of that because I understand triggers and that they can come on suddenly. It sucks feeling like you're controlled by them. But you trust my uncle, right?"

Wright nodded, not sure where she was going with this. He was a little surprised that she'd seen a therapist for years. Her family seemed perfect. They were standing by the door, the car seat swinging gently in her hand.

"I would also talk to your therapist about it, but maybe something like exposure therapy would help you. But with someone you trust and know well. I had to face a lot of things head on to get over them. Most of mine were emotional and not a physical thing, but it might help."

Wright thought about it. His therapist had him going from the beginning with things, working slowly through his mom leaving and when the abuse started. He'd done a bit of his own research on things to help him, exposure therapy coming up a few times, but he hadn't mentioned it to anyone else. He didn't know if he was ready to face any of that.

"I'll think about it," Wright said. "I don't know how Xander could help with that, but I know having him next to me is comforting."