Ivy

I ’m cold. A bone-chilling cold. It’s such an odd contrast to the way I felt this morning. The burn that was searing into my veins earlier is now icy shock. Biting and brutal. I feel like the slightest stumble will cause me to shatter. I’ve been through worse, I tell myself. It does nothing to lessen the pain, but it does serve to remind me that the pain will lessen. Eventually. Hopefully.

I’m not sure what I’ll do now. I had foolishly started to believe that Silverthorne could be my home. Home. I wince. Oh my god. I said I wanted to be on his family’s Christmas tree. He let me say that. He let me pour my heart out when he’s been lying to me. Alder made me fall for him, and now I’m going to have to dig my way out of this ravine by myself.

Better start now. I start packing my desk up. I don’t have a lot of personal items here, so it takes less than half an hour. With nothing else to do, I just sit here. I don’t want to go to my cabin. Alone. I don’t need the reminder. Pulling out my phone, I make a call .

“Hello, thanks for calling The Holloway Hotel. How can I help you?” A sweet, young voice that I’ve grown attached to answers.

“Hi, um, do you have any rooms available?” I ask, and my throat burns.

“Let me check on that for you.”

“Thank you.” I hold my phone away from my mouth and take a breath.

“Of course, so it looks like we have three rooms available. A queen, a king, and a double twin.”

“I’ll take the queen, please.”

“Perfect, have you stayed with us before?”

“I have a few months ago.”

“Great, can I get your name?”

“Yeah, It’s .”

“?! Why do you need a room? Is everything okay?” she asks one question after the other.

“No, yeah. I’m okay. Just needing the room.”

“Ooohhkay. Well, you’ll have one when you get here,” she chirps. “Let me know if you need anything, okay?” Tears spill then. I’ll miss that.

“Sure, thanks, Florence.” I hang up and rest my head against the back of my chair, willing the tears to be sucked back up into my head. I’m not sure how long I sit like that, long enough for my stomach to growl and my head to start hurting.

“.” At the sound of my name, I shut my eyes. Then swiftly wipe them and turn my chair to face him.

“So, you don’t actually work here. You own The Edgemont?” I ask. I need to gather as much information as I can.

“Yes,” he confirms. I knew that, but it still hurts to hear it.

“Why?” I can’t see through the tears gathering again. “Why did you lie?”

“I didn’t lie—or I didn’t mean to lie. I didn’t know you?—”

“And that makes it okay to lie? And you did lie. You knew who I was when you heard my name. You let me walk around here and pretended like I was in charge. Ugh. I feel so stupid, Alder.”

“That’s not how it was. You were in charge. I never would have intervened with anything you wanted to do.”

“But you could have,” I spit out.

“Everything you’ve done the last few months is all you. They were all your ideas, and they’ve been damn good ones, don’t let this tarnish that,” he pleads. “You’re so good at this. Please, I'm sorry for not telling you. This isn’t how I wanted you to find out.”

“How did you want me to find out?”

“I tried to tell you. I did tell you the first night you came to my house,” he says. I reel back, confused.

“No, you didn’t, Alder. I would remember that little nugget of information.” My sadness is turning into something different now. Something is brewing in me. I'm so angry; I’m so sad. I feel so incredibly betrayed.

“I told you on the couch, but you had already fallen asleep.” He looks up toward the ceiling as he speaks. I laugh. It’s cold and mean, and I’m glad because that’s how I feel. I want to hurt him. I want him to hurt as much as I do.

“Well, if you told me while I was asleep, I guess I have to forgive you,” I say with as much sarcasm as I can muster.

“That’s not what I’m saying?—”

“That’s exactly what you just said. It doesn’t matter anyway, Alder. This was never going to work long-term. I was always going to leave, and this was only ever a fling. I thought—” I stop myself before my voice cracks. He’s been so much more than a fling since the moment he told me he made lists. I try to believe what I’m saying. “I had thought I was the problem, that maybe I could be what you deserved—” My voice does crack this time; I can feel my nose stinging and the fresh wave of tears. “But then, I come to find out—it’s you. You’re no better than any other man I’ve had the awful luck of knowing.” His eyes flare, and I see his jaw flex. Good. Get mad at me. Hate me. Let’s be done with this.

“Please, ,” he says, and there’s no anger in it. Only pain. I don’t want to feel bad about making him hurt, but I do. Damn it. “You know that’s not true, . I’m nothing like Noah or your father,” he defends.

“Speaking of my father, it seems like you know him pretty well.”

“I don’t know him. He was just my partner who I had no say in.” He sighs.

I hate this. I can’t be here. I feel sick to my stomach, and I might throw up, but I will die before I let Alder take care of me.

“I’m leaving.”

“Where are you going?” Alder asks quietly.

“I’m leaving Silverthorne.”

“Hold on, princess. Just?—”

“Do not. Call me that. Again,” I reply in a hushed but lethal tone. He doesn’t want to mess with me right now. “I’ll be gone in three days. I need to see my father and clear some things up, and I can’t be here. I can’t see you.” I rush by him, trying to flee.

“The resort is yours,” he calls when I’m a few steps down the hall. I whip my head around back to him. What the hell? “Don’t leave. Please,” he pleads, but I can’t focus on the anguish in his eyes. I can only think about what he’s said about the resort.

“What are you talking about?”

He clears his throat before he speaks again, “The Edgemont. It’s yours. If you want it,”

“How? That doesn’t make any sense,” I begin.

“I bought it.” His words hang in the air between us.

“You…bought it? How?”

“I bought out your father. I don’t want another partner unless it’s you,” he says earnestly. The awful truth is that I believe him.

“Why? Why wouldn’t you tell me? Why should I stay?” My voice comes out barely above a whisper.

“Because I wanted it for you. I wanted to be able to present it to you before I asked you to stay. It’s yours now. That last one is a little more complicated to answer,” he says, rubbing at his neck. The why I should stay. The question I so desperately want his answer to. I look at him. This man who I have been falling so hard for without even knowing it for the past few months. He’s still Alder. He’s still here. I’m still helplessly in love with him. But now, he’s also a man who lied, and he can’t give me the answer I need to hear now. He doesn’t know why I should stay, and he doesn’t know why he wants me to. I feel my heart squeeze. I didn’t even know that I wanted to hear the three words until he didn’t say them. I could crumple, but instead, I feed the fire, I feed my anger.

“I don’t want it,” I spew at him. Then I turn on my heel and leave.