30. Scarlett

I wakethe next morning in Lyssa's arms, and the whole world seems to have changed. Turned good. But then I see the look on Lyssa's face, and she explains to me Hadria's proposal—made after Sarah's suggestion.

A gauntlet.

A brutal tradition borrowed from Grandmother that could absolve me...or kill me.

"Have you…ever been in one before?" Lyssa asks carefully.

And I have to nod, though I hate to admit it. "Not been tested myself, but…" I swallowed. How to explain the hate and the anger that comes over you when one woman is the sanctioned target for all of those horrible feelings?

And she had lived through it, that trainee. Or so we were told, but I'd never seen her again. She'd been sent out of Grandmother's house to prove herself in another city.

That was the story, anyway.

Lyssa looks so horrified at what I'm telling her that I can't stand it another second. "I'll do it. Let's go," I say, climbing out of bed. My body still feels weak from the blood loss, and from the battle into Grandmother's lair—I went hand-to-hand with more than one guard—but I refuse to show that weakness. Not when I seem so close to proving myself to the Syndicate.

To Lyssa.

But Lyssa's eyes widen in alarm, and she pulls me back into the bed, into her arms. "No, Scar. Not now. And anyway, I want you to think it over. Because it's not so simple as just surviving. If it looked like…well, I'm not going to let you be beaten to death by the Syndicate. I'd kill them all before I let that happen."

I soften as I understand what she means: it's not just about me and what I want. Any threat against me seems to spark her fierce protectiveness. The Big Bad Wolf, ready to bare her teeth for me.

I like the feeling.

But I'm not some damsel in distress, either.

"Lyssa," I tell her softly, snuggling back under the bedclothes with her, "I understand you don't want me hurt. But I…I want to be part of your world. And that means being accepted by the Syndicate."

Lyssa's face darkens. "I don't want to be part of an organization that would treat its people like Grandmother did."

"I know," I say gently. "But whatever you think doesn't matter right now. It's what Hadria thinks."

Lyssa's jaw clenches. "It seems to be what Aurora thinks, actually. I can't fucking believe Suzy was—how can she not be grateful to you after you saved?—"

"I killed her friend," I say simply. "Doing one good thing doesn't make up for it. I get that." I press my lips to her forehead in a silent plea for her understanding. "So I'm going to run this gauntlet, Lyssa. And you're going to let me. Then you can patch me up afterward."

I try for a smile, but it feels more like a grimace.

And Lyssa just looks fiercer than ever.

It happens at night, as most business does for the Syndicate.

A few days later, so both Hadria and I have had time to recover, under a heavy moon leaning toward full. It casts a glow over the lawns outside Elysium. Lyssa told me that this is where fights between Syndicate members take place—and where many of them were sacrificed during Nero's invasion. A sacred place now, soaked with the blood of their members. The very ground seems to groan beneath my feet, hungry for more.

The Syndicate stands in two lines, each member facing another, a human corridor leading to Aurora at the far end, who will have the honor of striking the final blow.

And I'll be wrecked by the time I get to her. She could well kill me.

Hadria is abstaining from casting a blow, partly because it would be beneath her as their leader, and partly because of her injury—she's still got her arm in a sling. My blood saved her life, but she did take a shot in the chest, after all. She was lucky it didn't hit anything more vital than a few arteries, but she's not in any state to be throwing punches right now. She stands at the head of the gauntlet with Sarah, beckoning Lyssa and me over. I want to object to Sarah's presence but I bite my tongue. Not the time.

"This is the assassin known as Scarlett," Hadria announces. "She killed three of our own. Bulldog Brassi. Eddie Torres. Yuri Petrov. And we remember them."

A low hiss ripples through the Syndicate.

"However," Hadria continues, "since she also saved my life and has been working with Lyssa to bring down Grandmother, and since the Syndicate previously voted against immediate execution, Scarlett has agreed to a trial by gauntlet to absolve herself." Hadria steps back, ushering me forward with a regal sweep of her arm. "So let justice be done."

Mario and Ricky are right at the start of the line. I know Ricky hates me, voted against sparing my life. My palms grow clammy as I step forward.

"Wait," Lyssa says softly, reaching to grab me back, but I shake my head and pull away.

"You need to let me do this."

I step up to the starting place, and then over the line, head down instinctively, bracing for the blows.

But none come.

Cautiously, I look up, confused. Mario and Ricky merely stare at me, their expressions inscrutable. Then Mario reaches out. I flinch, expecting pain, but he only squeezes my shoulder lightly. A reassurance? A warning?

I glance at Ricky. He looks conflicted, emotions warring on his scarred face, but jerks his head, telling me to move on.

I hear Sarah's voice behind me, puzzled. "This isn't—why aren't they?—"

"Be quiet," Hadria tells her.

And so, in stunned silence, I make my way down the gauntlet completely unscathed. Tears prick my eyes as I first realize no one intends to harm me, and I let them spill over, unhidden, as I continue my slow walk down the line. Each step feels surreal, like I'm walking in a dream. Or…a nightmare I might have a chance to finally wake from.

But at the end, Aurora still holds something behind her back, still watches me with solemn, unreadable eyes. My heart pounds, adrenaline spiking as I reach her, and she looks into my face, brings her hands around to show me—a knife? A gun?—but no; she reveals a single white tulip, luminous in the moonlight.

"White tulips represent forgiveness," she says gently. She presses the flower into my hands, the petals velvet-soft against my skin. "They also mean respect—and honor. I could never let harm come to the woman who saved Hadria's life."

"But your friends—" I choke out, guilt rising in my throat like bile.

Aurora is crying too, silent tears like mine. "Scarlett, I'll always remember Yuri—and the others, too. But everyone here has done something they deeply regret." She smiles sadly. "You're welcome in the Syndicate if you want to stay. And you showed complete trust in us by agreeing to walk this gauntlet. You've earned your place here."

I glance back at Lyssa, my heart swelling with love and gratitude. I nod, tears still hot on my cheeks, and even from this distance I can see the sheer relief on her face.

She crouches down for a moment, and Hadria, a little stiffly, crouches next to her, too, a hand on her back, and says something in her ear. I see Lyssa nod, and then I lose sight of them as, one by one, the Syndicate members approach me, offering an arm-shake, the forearm-clasp that shows trust between warriors. No hidden weapons. They really are welcoming me into their fold.

Into their family.

Ricky is last. I meet his gaze, search for any lingering resentment. "Can you really forgive me?" I ask at last.

He sighs, the sound weary. "I've never gone wrong following Aurora's lead. If the little flower has decided to forgive you…so will I." He grips my forearm. "Welcome to the Syndicate."

Lyssa comes up next, but corners Aurora rather than offering to take my arm. "Suzy," she hisses, "why didn't you tell me what you were planning?"

Aurora smiles enigmatically. "Lyssa, you need to trust your family more. You know what the Syndicate stands for—and it's not torture and brutality. I wanted to remind you of that."

Hadria approaches, her steps measured, and I think she's still in a lot of pain. She offers her arm, the one not in the sling, and I take it. "Welcome to the Syndicate, Scarlett. And thank you for saving my life."

"I-I'm sorry for?—"

"Yes," she says. "I know you are." For a moment, the icy facade seems to warm, just a little. "I know what it's like to do things you later regret. The question is…" She pauses, stands aside so that I can see that Sarah has followed her over as well. "Can you also forgive?"

I look at Sarah, and I see a deep vulnerability in her face for the first time. A crack in her stone walls. "I meant it," she whispers. "I am sorry. If I could go back…"

I take it in, along with a deep lungful of air. If only we could all go back. If only. But maybe this is as close as I'll ever get, by giving someone the second chance I've just been granted, too.

I put out my arm, and she takes it. "I forgive you," I tell her. "If you'll forgive me, too, for the things I've done to you."

She gives a nod, small and shaky, but I know she means it.

Hadria nods, satisfied. "Then the matter is finished. Join us up at the house for a meal, Scarlett—a feast to celebrate your initiation."

She takes Aurora and Sarah with her, leaving me alone with Lyssa. And as soon as the Syndicate members are all safely out of sight, Lyssa pulls me into her arms, kissing me fiercely, desperately. Like she's trying to pour all her love, all her fear, all her relief into this one moment.

When she pulls back, her eyes blaze even in the moonlight, twin flames in the darkness reflecting the lights of the mansion behind us.

"Every time before when I've said this, I've been afraid," she says fiercely. "I was a coward. But I'm not afraid now. I love you, Scarlett."

My heart soars, a phoenix rising from the ashes of my past. I put my arms around her neck, marveling at the softness of her skin, the strength in her shoulders. "The Big Bad Wolf should never be afraid of anything," I tell her, pressing my forehead to hers. "And I love you right back."

But even as joy suffuses me along with the Wolf's kisses, warming me from within, a dark thought lurks.

Grandmother is still out there. Still a threat. And I know she won't rest until she's destroyed everything and everyone I hold dear—including, now, the Syndicate.

And Lyssa.